Feeling extra guilty about vaccines and embarrassed.

[SexlessBoulderBelly]

I’m having a c section on Tuesday, I’ll be 37+4, baby is coming early due to issues with my placenta and growth restrictions.

Up until I was about 30 weeks and started attending the hospital every week, at my usual midwife appointment she reminded me to book my flu and whooping cough vaccine.

I’ve got to be completely honest, I totally put them off as I suffer terrible anxiety and was frightened did have a reaction to them. I never voiced that to the midwife and just kept saying I would book it in. I had every intention to do it as I absolutely want what’s best for DD but I just thought to myself every time I thought about it “I’ll ring tomorrow“

Even now I just think it’s pointless even if I could get a appointment. I know that logically it’s not pointless but the anxiety in me is brushing it off and I’m overcome with guilt.

I’m so pro vaccine for babies too. It’s just me having the vaccine that I can’t bring myself to do

I’m entitled to the flu vaccine for my job anyway and I’ve never had the jab done.

Am I absolutely terrible? Did anyone else not have them? Obviously not having the whooping cough vaccine I’m going to be recovering from the c section for a few weeks and will try to really limit visitors until baby has her first vaccines. Will keep hand sanitizer on the side table and make sure veryone wishes theirs hands before holding her and absolutely no kissing.. which would have been a request anyway. Something about kissing newborns on the face when they don’t belong to you makes me a bit irritated. Common sense (which I’m obviously lacking by jeopardising her health selfishly!)

I don’t really know what my question is, no one can tell me if she will catch whooping cough or flu, and people with hve different opinions on me being an idiot but I suppose I just needed to offload!

@Cornyplaster I'm sorry and how do you know this ? I would not make a decision like this lightly and I have in fact looked at every possible thing I can to give me my answers, so quick to judge without knowing a single thing !

People are still going on about the whooping cough vaccine for goodness sake ! You can't talk to pork I suppose bloody sick of explaining myself to single minded people!

@Cornyplaster there's no point in arguing with anti-vaxers. If they won't follow their own Drs advice they won't follow the advice of people on a forum.

KayAR how do I know you haven’t done all the research that will have gone into the decision to offer the whooping cough vaccine in pregnancy?

Seriously? Is that a serious question?

@Cornyplaster you obviously can't even read the post yourself cause I keep having to explain that I am not getting the FLU vaccine! Nothing about the whooping cough vaccine was said , it was mentioned a couple of days ago at my 16 week appointment and I have not said I'm not getting it ! Honestly your just bringing up invalid points to try and tell me 'facts' that arnt even nessisary to what I'm saying !!

Herd immunity also applies to the flu vaccine. If none of us had a flu vaccine the country would be even more riddled with flu. At least me and my baby are helping to protect you and yours though and others who actually can't have the vaccine for good reason. Thankfully you will be less likely to get the flu thanks to the rest of the population that have had it this year for ourselves, for our babies, for our families and friends, for the people that live alongside us with cancer, immune conditions and for you and your baby too.

KayAR I’m fully aware that you were previously talking about the flu vaccine and haven’t made up your mind about the whooping cough vaccine. I understand that. I get it. I was commenting on your decision-making for either vaccine.

@Cornyplaster so then you will agree that you can't tell me anything new and it's not changed my mind about the flu vaccine. I think it's time to let it go and get on with our lives thanks.

@SexlessBoulderBelly I had the WC (and flu in) during pregnancy (baby born beginning December). I understand from the NHS website you can have the WC vaccine up until birth. Re a reaction on WC vaccine - there is a tiny chance of going into anaphylactic shock (according to my midwife) but it's an instant reaction and the MW present has the required antidote on standby so they keep you in for 10-15 mins after the vaccine to ensure there is no reaction. They told me there was no chance of a delayed reaction. Also that the antidote works instantly and there were no recorded cases of anyone having adverse effects as a result of needing it. She also said in all her many years she had never heard of a case happening where they needed to administer the antidote and it was so incredibly rare but they have to warn you.
Flu vaccine - it was the first time I had one and the injection site had a big red itchy bump for a few days. Like a hard lump. I was pre warned and it went away as I was advised.
I don't know how effective the flu vaccine will be, but call the doctor and discuss the WC vaccine ASAP. There's still time.

And so a thread where a poster is seeking advice and guidance becomes lots of people having to try to reason with anti-vax nonsense about how vaccines aren't good in pregnancy and they've done their research (obviously as medical specialists who keep up to date on peer reviewed clinical trials and research and not conspiracy sites and things shared by Karen on Facebook who runs a parenting page).

OP I'd talk to your midwife asap. Be honest with them. They've seen and heard most things before. They'll be able to give you the most appropriate advice regarding vaccination at this stage and then advice on what to do next to best protect you and baby moving forward.

doing what she feels is the correct thing for her baby

It is NOT about “feelz”. It is about facts and evidence.

sounds like she has done her research.

What is research? Opinions or facts? Evidence, datasets, validity. Which of these hashed research involved?

callling someone stupid because they disagree with you is not really acceptable in my opinion.

She is not being called stupid because it is a “disagreement”. She is being called stupid for ignoring scientific evidence and jeopardising her baby’s health based on feelz. This is not stated of disagreement.

Isn't the point of this site to give each other support / encouragement?

I sincerely hope the point of this site is not to encourage evidence-free health practices based on feelings as opinions rejecting evidence and facts. Because then it would be an echo chamber which rejects expertise and makes decisions based on mirroring feelings. History is punctuated with numerous instances of the dangers of such echo chambers.

Listen I am doing what I think is best for my baby whatever that might be and this thread will not change my mind I'm sorry, you can all get on with your lives now as it is all pointless to me. Thanks for all of your opinions

I didn't have either of them. I refused to! Completely my decision.

@kevintheorangecarrot I'd be careful they won't like you expressing your own decisions !! X

Good, go away KayAr. The thread will hopefully stand as a transcript of a conversation for anyone lurking and any future readers of the utter stupidity and absolute inability to cite any research at all by a person rejecting vaccines, going on about her feelz and then flouncing off whilst reasoned debate has occurred and articulated clearly by numerous others. Very very glad that your mindless and dangerous rhetoric is evident on this thread alongside numerous pieces of reasoned and articulate commentary for anyone to read

You know the nasty complications that occur after c-sections with stitches bursting and women getting infected with flesh eating bacteria? They usually occur because the woman doesn’t control coughing, catches flu / WC / colds and bursts stitches as a result. If you think having an injection is stressful not sure how you will cope with a double cannula - and that assumes your baby will be ok.

@KayAR I don't care lol. He is 3 now and is up to date with all of his vaccines so I'm not against them! I just didn't want it being injected into me while I was carrying my unborn child. I did my extensive research and chose not to have either of them xx

@Thoughtlessinengland I'm leaving because there is nothing on this thread making me want to stay ! Nasty comments from nasty people is all I see. My baby my bloody decision !! I haven't once forced my opinion on someone else as everyone is free to do what they feel is best for there baby or been nasty in my comments. Hope youse all have a lovely new year.

@kevintheorangecarrot that is exactly my point ! I am not against my child having them once he is here but while I am carrying him and have been told it's not 100% safe I will not be having it x

Personally I thought the flu vaccine was not necessary but had WC as having a winter born baby there was a chance of my baby catching it.
But if you suffer from anxiety OP how are you doing with the idea of c-section/ epidural?

@Dawninglory yeah the flu vaccine is a definite no for me as it's not necessary but the whooping cough is an option once I speak to my midwife about it more and have a look myself x

@Thoughtlessinengland I was always thought that an argument should never descend into personal insults, if it does you have already lost. I can't see why you care so much what @KayAR does with her baby. By all means disagree with her but she has made a decision and seems will stick to it, why does that mean so much to you? She seems to have done a lot of research and comfortable with her decision and risks. I can't say I would be but then I didn't do a great deal of research just went with the advice of my healthcare professional. No matter how correct you are there is no excuse for being rude to someone.

taught* sorry

And yet none of these people will ever be able to stand up and say what exactly their “own research” is. Because there isn’t any evidence based rigorous research. It’s hearsay, anecdotes, feelz and dodgy websites (which they cannot site). Anyone reading in posterity - note the absence of evidence and expertise and the prevalence of hyperbole, hysteria and “opinions” in the language used by those rejecting the vaccines.

Thank you @LH1987 I have made my decision and it won't be changed I suppose you have to just take all of the nastiness on the chin and remember not everyone can be as understanding as we are ! X