Feeling extra guilty about vaccines and embarrassed.

[SexlessBoulderBelly]

I’m having a c section on Tuesday, I’ll be 37+4, baby is coming early due to issues with my placenta and growth restrictions.

Up until I was about 30 weeks and started attending the hospital every week, at my usual midwife appointment she reminded me to book my flu and whooping cough vaccine.

I’ve got to be completely honest, I totally put them off as I suffer terrible anxiety and was frightened did have a reaction to them. I never voiced that to the midwife and just kept saying I would book it in. I had every intention to do it as I absolutely want what’s best for DD but I just thought to myself every time I thought about it “I’ll ring tomorrow“

Even now I just think it’s pointless even if I could get a appointment. I know that logically it’s not pointless but the anxiety in me is brushing it off and I’m overcome with guilt.

I’m so pro vaccine for babies too. It’s just me having the vaccine that I can’t bring myself to do

I’m entitled to the flu vaccine for my job anyway and I’ve never had the jab done.

Am I absolutely terrible? Did anyone else not have them? Obviously not having the whooping cough vaccine I’m going to be recovering from the c section for a few weeks and will try to really limit visitors until baby has her first vaccines. Will keep hand sanitizer on the side table and make sure veryone wishes theirs hands before holding her and absolutely no kissing.. which would have been a request anyway. Something about kissing newborns on the face when they don’t belong to you makes me a bit irritated. Common sense (which I’m obviously lacking by jeopardising her health selfishly!)

I don’t really know what my question is, no one can tell me if she will catch whooping cough or flu, and people with hve different opinions on me being an idiot but I suppose I just needed to offload!

@SexlessBoulderBelly your post appears to have been derailed somewhat by some ill informed anti-vaxxers.

It’s not too late for you to get the vaccine, especially if you breastfeed because there is some evidence to show that antibodies to whooping cough are passed through breastmilk. Indeed, there is a chance that even without the booster you might still have some pertussis antibodies in your milk but it’s definitely not guaranteed, so far better to just get the jab. It’s safe during pregnancy, we’ve been doing it for several years now. Some information for you here:

www.analyticalarmadillo.co.uk/p/christmas-gift-what-every-parent-needs_17.html?m=1

The above is from a well researched blog on breastfeeding

Flu vaccine- fair enough- it doesn't necessarily cover the strains that become prevalent that year. Whooping cough- no. I don't understand. Watch a three week old baby turn purple and stop breathing from a disease that they never need to catch, if others had the immunisation, I'm afraid I don't understand. With your health anxiety- will you be ok watching the baby being immunised? Or have you made arrangements with your partner to have them take the baby? I don't think the immunisation now would do you much good, too close to birth, but worth checking maybe.

I haven’t been keeping up with my own thread. Will have a read in a moment but before I even begin to read some of the replies I would like to make it very clear I am very pro vaccine.

My child will have all the necessary vaccines recommended by a healthcare professional. So unless you’ve studied years of medicines don’t try and feed me useless misinformation.

I only reason I have not had the vaccines myself personally is because of health anxiety and the fear of having a reaction to them myself which has made me feel selfish for not being able to provide the necessary cover to baby from the vaccine... because I want her to have that.

I have absolutely no time for anti-vaxxers

Bumblebee, by the very fact you say you work for the NHS providing information on the flu vaccine, you are purporting to be an authority on the subject. By saying "well, I didn't have one", you are telling other mothers to be that they needn't bother either, which is completely irresponsible.

No, the flu vaccine doesn't protect you from all strains. You say your colleagues all had the other strains. Wouldn't it be fair to say that's because most of them had the vaccine???

How can washing your hands stop your contracting a virus that is spread by breathing? Several studies have established flu is spread in this way. Given your vocation, your lack of knowledge is shocking. Not everyone has the benefit of being isolated throughout their pregnancy. Washing their hands will provide them with scant protection from an airborne virus.

Hi @SexlessBoulderBelly, phobias are very real and a lot of people don't appreciate them. Its not too late to get the vaccines I am sure, but even if you don't, just do as you said and make sure everything is clean, no kissing and keep sick relatives away. Then get the baby a vaccine when the doctors say it is ready. Yes, there is a risk but there is also a risk driving home from the hospital, so don't be too hard on yourself. I'm sure you have lots to worry about now, don't add this to it.

Lots of people saying there is no point OP getting the vaccines now - there absolutely is, even though the immunity won't be passed to the baby before birth, the OPs immunity will be built and she therefore is less likely to be infected with those diseases and pass them to her baby. Since OP is likely to be the person the baby has the most contact with, that will be really helpful.

OP, I understand health anxiety, I have type 1 diabetes and had to get to grips with multiple daily injections

I am also immunocompromised due to another condition and am so grateful to others in my family, primarily my partner, who have made sure their vaccines and immunity are up to date to protect me as much as possible.

I didn't have any - FTM never offered so didn't really know I were to have them - has a letter from my GP for the flu vaccine but then gave birth 2 days later so obviously didn't get it booked. Baby was 2 weeks early. She's a very happy, health little girl, it's done us no harm, but I'm in no way advocating not having them, just saying if you've not then I wouldn't stress too much over it.

She's a very happy, health little girl, it's done us no harm

That’s excellent. But can we please think about what this example tells us? The argument is not that every single non vaccinated individual will develop the illness and thus above would have some meaning. The argument is every non vaccinated individual is at risk of developing the illness which can be significantly serious. So I do not understand the “no harm done” comment. Your baby is a fortnight old. May she never ever ever develop this illness. Ever. My very best wishes for you both. But (1) she is a fortnight old so you have no idea yet that might let you claim “no harm done”. And (2) even if she lived to 90 and never got the illness even then that would say nothing at all because X people who were not immunised did not develop the illness.

It was a major flaw that letters got delayed and we should hold accountable those responsible for it. But to say “no harm done” when that’s not a logical claim, and we have no idea yet, risks spreading false reassurance even when that is not intended.

If motherhood was a better qualification than a degree in Medicine, Nursing etc there would be no dead or ill babies. You ARE an idiot if you think you know better because you've looked at a few dodgy websites. Sorrynotsorry.

I realise your baby is not at the minute a fortnight old by the way - but how old she is right now is not relevant. What I am saying is a baby too young to have her own jabs and whose mum has not been vaccinated is at risk and “no harm done” as a logic wouldn’t work.

The “mum knows best” mantra has been carried into areas where it has lethal consequences. It works in various instances but when it is taken to replace expertise and evidence we have a whole new world we are staring into

The ku and whooping couch vaccines don't just include those two, and the purpose is to provide immunity to your baby until they are stable enough to have their own at 8 weeks..

I hope you did tell the midwife. But otherwise in your shoes I'd be extra careful with dc during the next 2 months. Thankfully most women do get vaccines which in itself provides some cover. But don't be fooled into thinking they are safe.

As an aside. You need to own your anxiety and seek help. You have already created a risk for your child by not managing it appropriately and this may only get worse in the future. Where are your boundaries on your mental health impacting your child...you need to work through this with support.

You really don’t want to get whooping cough. I can’t imagine watching a poor little baby choking and gasping.

@Thoughtlessinengland
I agree with every word you have written.
I’ve nothing more to add. I couldn’t enhance your posts with my own insignificant ones. Bravo.

WC wasn't available as a vaccine for mother's when I had dc2. When he was 6 weeks old my dm caught whooping cough. I was really lucky we found this out just before visiting - even then, her GP said she was no risk to an infant which I think is frankly rubbish.

As someone who actually had whooping cough a couple of years ago (despite being vaccinated as a child), I can't stress enough the value of that one! As a fully grown adult I had occasions where I genuinely couldn't breathe and thought I was going to die, so I dread to think how awful it is for a baby if they contract it (and sadly it's very much on the rise because of people choosing not to vaccinate their children). Also, if you were to catch it, you'll be out of action for weeks (I was off work for nearly 3 months) which is the last thing you need with a little baby. You can have it right up until the baby is born (though obviously the earlier you do, the more protection baby will have) so please, please have it done!!

@yukka they are fully aware of my
MH issues, I’ve had therapy (CBT) for it. It’s not that I haven’t owned or managed my anxiety.. I have, but this is one thing that seems to have really stumped me and it’s surprised myself as I am so for vaccinations that I can’t believe I’ve managed to subconsciously delay it and out myself off until it’s too late. I just assumed I would book it really late.

I think pregnancy can put a huge load of anxiety on women because you go into overdrive protection mode.

I have not 'changed' my original opinion and it seems none of you have read what I said properly, as I said the wc vaccine has only just been offered to me so I am speaking to my midwife about it ! It's funny that everyone saying that I have done 'dodgy reasearch' probably haven't even looked into it themselves and just listened to what they have been told and yes they are medical professionals but that's not enough for me to potentially put my baby at risk while I am carrying him. If people looked into it properly they would be very shocked. Yes he may have the relevant vaccines when he is here but for now while I am carrying him and have been given no guarantee by my doctors that the vaccine is 100% safe then I will not have the flu vaccine! I'm sorry but it is my choice for my baby and as I said I have Witnessed first hand the worst possible effects of a child having a vaccine and while I have a baby inside my body unless I believe it is nessisary I will not be putting anything into it that isn't 100% safe.

I hope none of the people who are against having vaccines don't need Anti D vaccine like I do!

@ buddhababy2019 - me too! I’d been vaccinated but as the doctor at the hospital cheerily said ‘well isn’t not 100% is it?’.

It wasn’t so much the lack of breathing and aching ribs, or even the feeling that I was being choked - but the feeling that I was going to pee myself with the coughing that was the killer for me!

It's better for you and baby to get the offered vaccinations you say you stand by your choices yet your posting on here saying you feel guilty about those choices

KayAR that is such flawed logic and yet you can’t see it!

Whooping Cough is 100% a bad thing to happen. A killer.

Whooping cough vaccine might have some side effects for you, not the baby because it’s you that’s having the bloody vaccine.

To avoid the vaccine whilst pregnant THEN leaves your newborn baby without any protection against Whooping Cough.

Can you see how daft that is???

If people looked into it properly they would be very shocked

Go for it - shock me.

I have pretty bad anxiety too (not needle specific but I do hate them lol). May or may not help but I found booking an appt to have the jab in literally the same day helped a lot, much less time to think about it. Gl x