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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Any positive pregnancy over 40 success stories?

472 replies

Liissaa · 02/12/2019 16:57

After a mmc with my first pregnancy at 40 earlier this year, I would love to hear any success stories of any over 40s who have achieved a successful pregnancy! Xx

OP posts:
LittleTiger007 · 14/12/2020 07:52

Oh I conceived completely naturally by the way!

Catconfusion · 14/12/2020 09:37

Awww I’m so happy for you @LittleTiger007 your story literally made my day. When I had my mmc at 39 I told my doctor I was worried about my age and he laughed. Literally said he sees 45 plus pregnancies all the time so I shouldn’t worry about being 39. He was right as I had my little boy at 40, now 41 and trying for number 2

I think you’re right to not give in to the anxiety. Are they monitoring you regularly at the moment? I bet you can’t wait for the anatomy scan. Not long now! Please keep us posted. I really hope all is ok. It sounds like you’re through the most risky phase! Xx

Sef89 · 14/12/2020 10:08

@Catconfusion. Hi

I love that your dr laughed when you said you was 39 and said he sees lots of 45 year olds, i get so anxious about my age, turned 40 this year and had a loss in may so I'm ttc too. There's too much unnecessary negativity online about age and fertility it just scares older women and causes them worry.

Catconfusion · 14/12/2020 14:35

I'm so sorry @sef89 to hear about your loss. It's truly devastating, especially for us older ladies. It's easy to assume its age related at 35 plus when the media and the NHS website is so damning of pregnancies later in life. I know so many people who've had miscarriages in their 20s and early 30s. I had my mmc in January last year and then an early loss straight after. I honestly don't think my body was ready so pretty sure it was all bad luck. Four months later I was pregnant with my son on the first try. I thought my body was broken and past it. Hang on in there. You have every chance of it happening. xx

Original poster
Liissaa · 14/12/2020 15:29

@LittleTiger007 you have just given years of hope to us all! Thanks so much xx

OP posts:
LittleTiger007 · 14/12/2020 15:33

Hopefully there will be a happy ending to this pregnancy. Taking it a day at a time x

Sef89 · 14/12/2020 21:26

@Catconfusion

Its great you conceived 4 months after, just proves all the nonsense out there about age, my mum had 4 miscarriages between having my brother and myself from age 22 to age 25 so like you say it's not all about age.
@LittleTiger007 I'm sure your pregnancy will be fine, 17 weeks is such a great place to be at, just always trust your instincts, i was always getting reassurance scans if i had any concerns.

Catconfusion · 15/12/2020 12:33

@LittleTiger007 17 weeks is definitely past the worst risks although I know multiples can have difficulties. Surely a lot of the bigger issues would have been picked up by now. In a couple of months at least they could be delivered early if need be. Not too long until you reach that point. Xx

@Sef89 exactly! For three of those months we’d not been able to try so I’ve literally fallen pregnant the only three times it would have been possible. The statistics about how low the percentage chance over 40 seem really low when I know so many people who’ve fallen pregnant easily in their 40s. As you say, your poor mum had a rough time in her 20s so mc is common at any age. I think the statics add to the stress and make it more difficult for older mums. We should be supported and encouraged not told how difficult it is. I can’t believe how damning the nhs website is for older mums.

There’s also such a stigma that an older mum must have put her career first like it’s that mums fault for leaving it late. I personally just didn’t meet the right person until late but even if it was career related it’s horrible to be made to feel bad about that.

One of the things that angered me most about when Meghan Markle announced her miscarriage was that some people said what does she expect trying to have a baby at nearly 40. Like it’s her fault somehow and why is she so surprised. No woman should expect to have a miscarriage no matter what age. Women have been having babies well into their 40s for many many years. It’s natural and normal! Xx

Smilesmb · 28/12/2020 20:46

@3isthemagicnumber3 so wonderful! How long did you try for this pregnancy?

Smilesmb · 28/12/2020 21:03

@Holidaywindowshopperaddict - totally true! I am so depressed by reading all the negative articles and listening to all my doctors repeat my age (39) over and over as this really bad age to be trying to do this.
I was very depressed and sad today when I realized I am out for this cycle as well. But this thread has been so so wonderful to read through. Thanks to all the wonderful ladies who have shared their life's difficult details and wonderful stories with us. You are really giving us hope and courage to keep trying

glowingtwig · 28/12/2020 22:15

Hi ladies,

Following gratefully after an awful mc on Christmas Day. Reading these stories has given me some hope. X

Catconfusion · 29/12/2020 04:11

@Smilesmb I think it’s awful and unprofessional for doctors to be saying this. 39 is not a bad age to be trying for a baby. I had my ds at 40 and not one doctor said anything negative about my age. I had a mmc at 39 and even then my age wasn’t mentioned. I was just reassured of how common pregnancy is at my age and to not give up. I think you’ve been unlucky. Please don’t take it to heart! Xx

Catconfusion · 29/12/2020 04:57

Aww @glowingtwig it’s great to see you on here. I got a lot of comfort from the stories above and I’m sure you have too. Xx

Smilesmb · 03/01/2021 16:53

@Catconfusion thank you so much!

Naturebelle · 03/01/2021 20:34

@Liissaa

Thanks for all of the amazing stories on here! *@Oldmamabear43* it’s so good to hear you are doing well!! *@Naturebelle* cm I think refers to cervical mucus. Xx
Thank you for this, I did wonder what it meant! Xx
Original poster
Liissaa · 03/01/2021 21:40

@glowingtwig I’m so sorry. Sending so much love.
@Smilesmb the midwife I saw before my mmc and the sonographer who dealt with my mmc couldn’t have cared about my age and said it meant nothing. The doctor I saw later about some problems was making a big deal out of it and it upset me.
@Naturebelle so many abbreviations!!!

I took the step of asking my go for help this week. After falling pregnant within 6 weeks with my mmc, I haven’t been able to fall pregnant again. I’ve been referred to see if there’s anything I can be helped with. So all still to play for xx

OP posts:
Glittermoon · 06/01/2021 13:22

Hi guys

I wanted to make an account so I could say how much this thread has helped me recover from my first loss :-(

I had a 6 week miscarriage over Christmas and New Years - fabulous timing.

Anyway I’m 40 in March and gutted thinking my eggs are all bad now.

I have 5 kids previous no issues - most recent baby is 11 months

I feel so much hope reading all your posts.

I plan to try again soon as bleeding stops / down to spotting only

I’m thankful I was able to get pregnant quickly and hope that’s at least a sign of ok chances anyway

Thanks so much

Glittermoon · 06/01/2021 13:25

I had to get off Facebook - the groups were very much doom and gloom :-(

I had someone tell me to expect nothing but miscarriages going forward now

It’s been a rough couple weeks

Original poster
Liissaa · 06/01/2021 13:46

@Glittermoon I’m so sorry about your miscarriage. Sending love to you. I made this thread to give us all hope because I know there is every chance for us despite some people’s negativity towards older mothers. Everything is still to play for. It just takes one good egg xx

OP posts:
Catconfusion · 06/01/2021 16:26

@Glittermoon I’m so sorry to hear about your miscarriage. There is no reason you should expect this to happen again just because you are over 40. The majority of pregnancies still go to term in our age bracket. I hate how older ladies are expected to have issues when women in their 40s have always had babies. Yes there are slightly higher risks but it still is more likely to be ok. It’s like saying the glass is almost half empty so you may as well give up. I wish society had a more positive outlook on older mums. Fingers crossed you have good news soon. Xx

Original poster
Liissaa · 06/01/2021 17:27

@Catconfusion perfectly said! Xx

OP posts:
Catconfusion · 06/01/2021 19:00

It’s just so annoying because anyone can have a miscarriage regardless of age. If you’re in your 40s it’s assumed it’s age related. This often isn’t the case and the next pregnancy will turn out fine. Obviously it’s a good idea to get checked out but if everything looks normal the chances are good. Xx

Idreamof2more · 06/01/2021 20:52

Hi all. I’m 41 in 2 weeks and got my bfp last weekend. Natural conception x

glowingtwig · 06/01/2021 21:05

@Catconfusion I really like how you've put this on your last two comments. It's so true, lots of mc happening to ladies in their early 30s, sadly. Today at my appointment one of the nurses said that it's just so common and not to just assume it's age.

Obviously because I've had two in a row now that doesn't make me feel great about it but I guess it doesn't mean that the next pregnancy won't work out too. Just have to keep going. X

Glittermoon · 06/01/2021 21:25

I already love you guys

Thank you for giving hope to this hopeless soul right now