Graduates of the TTC After Pregnancy Loss thread. Aka: The Penguin Huddle

[MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue]

This is a safe and supportive thread for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and are now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread, have suffered a loss and are now pregnant please feel free to join the penguin huddle 🐧

Positive pants ON. Let’s get our rainbows ladies 🌈

Thanks for the support ladies. Just felt so down yesterday but mostly because I feel so stupid thinking I would just walk in there and get a date booked! I felt like I didn’t have my argument prepared and I was just caught off guard.

Anyway, today is a new day and I am somewhat cheered up by the fact that I have just submitted my maternity leave and MATB1 forms to work! I have decided to finish my at 36 weeks – if I make it, remember last time I just couldn’t be arsed by then and went at 35 weeks! Anyway, my moment of being cheered up soon turned into a paranoia that of course, now I’ve given it in, something will go wrong!

Your birth experience sounds hideous @ChikiTIKI, I’m so sorry you had to go through that. I hope all of us with bad experiences get our electives and have much more positive births.

Amazing that she fund the heartbeat so early sadtoday21! Great news!

@Bluebelltulip good news about the heart scan and regular checks. I am sure it will be unlikely that it happens again. Are you finding out the sex of this baby?

Thanks guys :) if any of you have felt traumatised by pregnancy, miscarriage, birth or becoming a parent, the Birth Trauma Association are helpful. They have a private Facebook page where people share their stories and support each other.

I am moving jobs soon and tried to tell my new manager but I chickened out. I want to wait until the 12 week scan really but that means I will have to tell her right before she goes on holiday for quite a long time, and when she returns will be my first day in the new job.

Feeling a bit down and pessimistic about the pregnancy working out ok today. Not sure if it's because I fest feeling that well as I forgot my travel sickness bands. Had some more brown spotting today. Hopefully tomorrow will be more positive.

@sadtoday21 I'm okay, thanks for asking. I'm feeling movements almost every day now so that's giving me some reassurance. But obvs nervous as baby was very poorly last dating scan and I have to wait, I'm currently 12 weeks 4 as I went to booking appt late- 10 weeks 5

@KayJay2018 I'm on aspirin but 75mg I take the gastric protection tablets, dispersible were horrible yo take. Not noticed any worsening of indigestion.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue we are not finding out, didn't for my 2 DD's either. I'd had enough by 35 weeks and left early with my DD1 too.

@Kayjay2018 hey, I am on aspirin 75mg and heparin. Not noticed any digestive problems. X

Thank you for the advice *@Frillyfarmer and @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue *.
Frillyfarmer, I'm sorry your OH was so insensitive after you found out the sex of baby. It's his anxiety following MC which has reared its ugly head, but it's a real shame that he's not sharing your positivity about the pregnancy yet. Hopefully given a little more time he'll be able to get excited about it too.
MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue Sorry about the appointment and not feeling listened do. I'm really glad you insisted that he put in your notes that you wanted a c-section. Don't let them bully you if that feels like the right choice for you.

@Avocuddles I feel devastated for you. I'm so sorry. Sending you huge, huge healing hugs.

@Venusstar Thinking of you. I'm glad the fertility clinic appointment went well. Stay strong. Huge hugs.

@TinyPaws Fantastic news on the scan and the haematoma having disappeared! Great news!

@InDreamland Perfectly normal not to be feeling any movements yet at 17 weeks; especially with your first. I'm 20 weeks now and the movements I'm feeling are still very gentle and some days I hardly feel anything at all.

@Dimblebimble Great news about the scan. Really hope the next one is good news too. Rainbows are coming! Sorry about the pain. Could be ligament pains?

@Bluebelltulip Hugs. It sounds really tough having to try to explain things to DD1. Stay strong. xxx

@fnej01 Glad your appointment and scan went well.

Update on me:
I'm 20 weeks now.
I had my anomaly scan today. All looking great. Measurements bang on average, heart and kidneys looking healthy. Baby was very active again and was doing a head-stand to begin with.

And we found out we're having a girl! So happy to find out. It's made it just a little bit more real.

That's amazing congrats @KnitKitty !!!!! :) xxxxxx

@KnitKitty brilliant news about the scan and your having a girl!!!

I'm so so sorry for your loss @Avocuddles. I hope you'll be back with us soon and you'll get your rainbow. It's just so unfair :(

Great news on your scan @KnitKitty! So exciting you found out you're having a girl! It does seem more real once you know what you're having.

I had an awful nightmare a few nights ago that I lost my baby and then had reduced movements the next couple of days so I've been back to early pregnancy levels of anxiety. Even after going back to the PAU (again) and being told all sounds ok I've been panicking and kicking myself for actually believing it might work out this time. Luckily today he's been kicking loads so I'm feeling a bit more positive. It's bad when the majority of the midwives at the PAU know you though because you have been there so often...

Hope everyone is doing well.

Congratulations @KnitKitty so exciting!

I'm a bit deflated today after my 16 week appointment. They didn't listen to baby's heartbeat - I had a feeling they wouldn't as they advised our trust don't when I had my first but it still annoyed me a bit.

I had GD in my last pregnancy so had a GTT two weeks ago which came back fine, and no glucose in my urine but she wants me to do a GTT every single month "until they catch me" which I think is batshit considering a) I was 32weeks when I contracted with DS b) I was diet led so didn't need to alter anything or medicate c) despite all the millions of extra growth scans and early induction due to measuring off the scale I had a fairly average 7lb8oz babe and d) all said and done it's at least 14 hours fasting and three hours sat in a hospital every month.

To top the appointment off, I've only put on 4lbs since my booking appt at 6 weeks and she wants me to come in for regular weigh ins so I was just made to feel like a shit pregnant person for not putting on more. I'm not underweight and I'm assuming I've not put on more as the diet and lifestyle shift since finding out has shed a few excess lbs. rant over, sorry!

@Frillyfarmer I'm having the GTT on Wednesday as my baby was looking on the large side at the growth scan last week. They weren't concerned but I asked for the test because I'm a worrier. They haven't weighed me since my booking in appointment but I'm only 4lbs heavier than I was at my lowest in the pregnancy (I lost about 3lbs in the first trimester) and I'm 25+5 so I don't think it's that uncommon to not gain that much weight during pregnancy especially if your diet has improved.

@Frillyfarmer sorry your appointment was tough. Gtt tests are horrible, I had 2 last time and thought that was bad enough! Surprised about them caring about your weight gain though, last time I lost 1.5 stone by my 16 week appt and they didn't care at all. Seems to vary so much by trust!

Hi all 💕
What a great day. After a 1.5 hour wait in the EPU 🙈 we finally got to meet our baba. From lmp I'm 6+2 today and he/she was measuring bang on 6+2/6+3 🙌🏻👌🏻 so glad! And EPU said they would give me a scan every week up until 12 weeks so i feel so much better. Seeing the heartbeat was amazing 💕

Pic of baba 💕😍

@FirstTimeMama91 that's such excellent news and a great photo. How supportive of your epu too! How are you feeling in yourself?

@Kayjay2018 I know, I'm so grateful. I feel ok, the symptoms are much stronger this pregnancy! So that's a good sign. Tiredness, sore veiny boobs, nausea started this week too but I'm happy to have them all ❤️🌈

Brilliant news @FirstTimeMama91 and @KnitKitty! So exciting to hear you're having a girl too! Definitely makes it more real when you know, although the shopping aspect can then be dangerous!

@Frillyfarmer I had the GTT last time and have to have it in two weeks time as my dad has diabetes. I didn't have it last time but am worried I will have it this time! The test is horrible and your appointment also sounds rubbish. I hope you're feeling less down now it's a few days behind you and a sunny weekend.

@Beaglemum93 that dream sounds horrible, you poor thing. Never feel bad for going in to be checked!

I think my nesting gene has kicked in as I am suddenly very aware of everything in our house that needs sorting and organising! I've overdone it today clearing cupboards and sorting out what old baby stuff we can use. My back hurts but also I'm now worrying (again) that I've jinxed it by doing these things!

Evening all. I'm having a right panic as I haven't felt sick today even when hungry. I am taking medication for it but still usually feel the nausea. Why can't I simply relax???

@janey15 I have had many 0moanucs this pregnancy. Although I don't get sickness other symptoms have waxed and waned. Remember symptoms can come and go. Try not to panic. Have you had an early scan and do you have one booked for the future? X

Panics!

I've had two early scans and now waiting for the 12 week one. It's just so weird to feel 'well' as I've been so ill. I know symptoms come and go and I'll probably be sick as a dog tomorrow but it's so hard not to worry!
Doesn't help that DH is out again and I've been mainly on my own for weeks with too much time to think.
Thanks @rubyroot xxx

It's definitely hard not to worry. You're brave waiting so long for your 12. I've waited 3 weeks for mine. I'm about 13 weeks and had a scan at 10 weeks 2 with nipt. I have felt a bit better since and less anxious and panicky. Though despite having positive scan and results, I'm absolutely shitting it for my scan.

And yes too much time to think is not good