The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #3 🐧🐧The Penguin Huddle 🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

New thread as the last one is nearing the max number of posts.

This is a supportive and safe space for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread though and have suffered a loss and are anxious about your new pregnancy please feel free to join the huddle 🐧

So ladies, I hope you are all here for the long haul until our 🌈 are delivered (and beyond if you fancy sticking around).

Let's pull on our positive pants and nerves of steel.

I'll start the roll call of EDD from the last thread:
@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty- 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland- 39 - EDD 18/02/20
@Tinatsarina - 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer - 29 - EDD 29/02/20
@duvetcaterpillar - 34 - EDD 27/03/2020

Also tagging: @rubyroot @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @boboelephant @Yukka @Russkispy @VenusStarr @Beaglemum93 @Squiff70 @Navy123 @Bellasblankexpression

So sorry if I've missed anyone. I've tried to include as many as I could.

I'm only 14wk3 days. I suffer really bad bloating anyway due to ibs but usually comes and goes this has sort of stuck since last week, Either way I'm putting a bit of weight on my hips I'm only petite and I've always been one to have too much space in my trousers but now I can't fit my thumb in the sides and they cut my skin😫

@nzs2019 exactly like @Catconfusion said, it’s a group we started for the ladies who were on our other thread - first pregnancy after missed miscarriage. Not all of them are on here and we wanted to keep in touch because we have been through a lot together in the past six months. It is a bit smaller than this thread, so easier to keep up with, but there are also a lot of lovely women on here that have a lot of experience. I find that both threads have really helped me and kept me going through the anxiety-filled days. You are most welcome in either! Wishing you a very happy and healthy pregnancy xxx.

@rubyroot that’s excellent news on the scan, congrats! Will your next one be at 10 weeks? I know that you will probably feel more anxiety as you approach 13 weeks (I do as I approach the 9+4 date of my mmc, which is tomorrow actually). I think getting over these milestones is one of the toughest parts of this whole process. I hope the time goes by quickly for both of us and all is well at the next scan!

@InDreamland I also don’t want to jinx anything by buying maternity clothes just yet (this is also why it took me awhile to join this thread incidentally, just too scared to believe it was real!). I tie a hair elastic (I just realised @Amanda81 that this is what you mean by bobble 😂😂😂) around the button of my jeans and loop through the belt thing - it works well! Feeling a lot more bloated early on in this pregnancy than I did with the mmc. How are you doing otherwise now that you have the results back and all is looking good so far?

@rubyroot thank you! not long til the next scan so just going to keep an eye for a couple of days. Bit of a TMI but both times it’s been after a bowel movement so maybe that’s something to do with it.
The hairband trick has been a lifesaver for me I’m
18 weeks and still just managing to fit in my normal jeans using it although I have an EPIC double chin already!

@ReeReeR thank you

@InDreamland thank you I am trying not to worry too much just hope I don’t get anymore

@Catconfusion you should be proud of yourself :) it’s such a rollercoaster and I think we just have to feel what we feel and make the best of it and try to cope as best we can and you sound like you’re doing really well at the moment

Hmmmm so dated 7 weeks 5 today which was exactly the same as NHS scan. I needed to be further along as a consultant that I wanted for nipt test works only on a certain day and it means that I won't be able to have her perform the scan as I'll be two days short of ten weeks. So I spoke to the company and said are you sure she hasn't just taken the previous dates given by NHS (as I'd told her them) They said no as it's not how we do it we date by measurements on the day and apparently rang her to check and she confirmed that the dates were a correct as per her measurements. Anyhow I've just looked at report which says 17.8mm and according to the report puts me around the 80th percentile for my dates. So surely she's just gone by NHS dates or I'd come up as 50th percentile? Any ideas ladies?

@moonpeace thank you I will ask!

@rubyroot that’s really confusing? It sounds like they HAVE taken the dates from your nhs one?

@moonpeace I'm on progesterone and I'm no expert but I think by 17 weeks the placenta should be well and truly up and running!

So sorry for not replying to everyone individually, I'm exhausted - work + puppy + pregnancy is tiring combination! I haven't had any more bleeding and tests are slowly darkening so I'm hoping this one is viable. Tomorrow is the due date of pregnancy #3 so feeling a bit emotional.

@tinypaws ah sending you love for tomorrow. Have you got anything nice planned? glad the bleeding has stopped it’s such a worry isn’t it

Thanks @moonpeace a logical pregnant lady would agree with you. I think it's because there's no certainty with any meds. Eg. Any med in the first trimester is a potential teratogen.
I'm just an anxious mess and thinking that it'll somehow affect baby's brain/organ development. I know its probably stupid and I need to forget these thoughts as there is very little likelihood of this.

Well she came over and it was nice. It’s possible my intuition is right but there was no sign or talk of pregnancy so going to put that out of my mind for now. Think I’m just a bit oversensitive at the moment. Sorry for my mad rambles today 😬 Night all.

Morning all. I'm (rather nervously) hopping over here from the TTC thread. Lovely to see things going well for some familiar names, fingers crossed I'll be here for the duration but not feeling particularly confident at the moment.

I had my first positive on Saturday (faint line on FRER at 9DPO), tested again this morning (when I think i should be 4 weeks) and got a good line on a FRER and a pregnant 1-2 weeks on a clearblue. Would have been happier if it had been a 2-3 but will save my final CB for Sunday or Monday when hopefully it will have moved on.

Waiting to here back from the hospital as I need to be on blood thinning injections for the duration of any pregnancy. Haven't started them again yet but imagine I will be within the next couple of days...

We're driving down to my parents tomorrow to stay for a few nights as DH and I are attending a wedding down there on Saturday. I'm thinking I might just have to tell them as it will be less stressful than trying to make excuses to avoid the constant stream of tea / wine that usually flows there - they know about the miscarriage so hopefully with be understanding of the fact that it's far too early to get excited or make any assumptions about this one going the distance.... I discovered mini bottles of alcohol free wine and 'fizzero' in m and s the other day so am going to try to sneak them into the wedding reception! I really hope I make it past the first trimester this time and can be open about being pregnant, these first few weeks are very hard work.....

@Avocuddles that’s lovely news! So pleased for you. I hope you have a nice weekend at the wedding.
@tinypaws you must be relieved that the spotting has stopped, I was when mine did. Think my body likes to kick out the old blood at 4 weeks because I’ve had the same with both my previous pregnancies.
@ReeReeR glad your friend didn’t say anything, I don’t think that would have been good for you. You’re doing amazingly well. Give yourself lots of treats.

I’m 6 weeks today. I’m not feeling anxious- I’ve been using distraction techniques and if I find my mind going somewhere dark I put the tv on or read a book. I definitely stay away from Google, he is not a good friend for you during this time!

I’ve been invited to a baby shower by a friend whose baby is a week ahead of my miscarried one. Even though I feel better now I’m pregnant I don’t want to go. I don’t want to explain my true feelings in case things get awkward and also I don’t want the pity either. She is not a close friend but is my dh’s best mate’s partner. Any tips?

Hope everyone is feeling ok. I’m starting a new job next week and no idea how I’m going to survive!

@Mistymeow Thank you. I just didn’t think I would have handled it well yesterday and maybe I just misjudged. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to go to the shower. Maybe you can just make an excuse - say you are busy that day and no one would question it. These days I’m a big believer in just doing what’s right for you.

Good to see you here @Avocuddles ❤️

I'm glad your family member didn't baby bomb you yesterday. I hope you're doing ok @ReeReeR.

Congratulations @Avocuddles! Have a good time at the wedding.

Congratulations @Avocuddles! Great to see you over here. Long may it continue!

Also congratulations to others who've had your BFPs, wonderful news!

I'm still tired and feeling rather sick. I'm either completely calm and rational or climbing the walls with anxiety. I'm still in shock that I'm having twins again - a blessing I know, but it's very scary.

My consultant said yesterday they'd bring me in "calmly and quietly" at 36 weeks and do a planned c-section. I'm trying not to think about it too much at this stage - I'm only 7+6 today so there's a long way to go. I think after Christmas will be panic-time though. We lost our twins on 6th January so that will be a very tough day for us but after that hopefully we can relax a little. With the nights closing in and the constant grey skies, Winter doesn't seem that far away even though it's only August. Sigh.

Congratulations @Avocuddles 😍 lovely to see you here. I've not done a digital this time. Just waiting for a scan next week - will you be offered an early one do you think?

@Mistymeow I'm just behind you, 5+2 today. I'm doing less well at distraction but trying to focus on the fact that I am pregnant. I looked up miscarriage statistics last night and that surprisingly reassured me. I'm feeling crampy today but telling myself that it's OK and I'm OK, my body is trying hard to grow a baby and this is part and parcel of that. Have you got an early scan booked?

@Catconfusion, I'm trying to remember what you said about the fate already being written, so trying to enjoy it. I'm actually eating Nutella on toast, because I think the baby wants it 😊 (was feeling sick and that's all I fancied)

@Squiff70 good to see you. Not really sure what's happened to the weather!

Hope you're OK today @ReeReeR

Thanks everyone!

@VenusStarr I've got a telephone appointment with the doctor on Friday so am going to request an early scan, if not offered one on the NHS I'll book a private one for 7-8 weeks. I miscarried at 7 weeks last time and didn't see a heartbeat so I'm quite scared of the thought of a scan, but also know that if I did see a heartbeat it would definitely ease the worry a bit. When are you having one? x

I’m ok thanks. Just feeling a bit down but it will pass. Just done a Zumba class which helped a bit! Hope everyone else is ok

@VenusStarr exactly it’s already decided. Good the miscarriage statistics made you feel better. Unfortunately for me because I’m 40 they are not so reassuring. Tommy’s quote something like 38% at 40 although I’ve seen 50%. I guess it’s best not to dwell. Plenty of people have losses much earlier. We have no evidence anything age related going on with us. You go girl with the Nutella. I might have to get some actually. My nausea is worse in the morning so sounds like a lovely treat! 🙂 xx

Hey @Avocuddles we didn’t see a heartbeat either with the mmc so a little scared but I just keep saying to myself it’s a different pregnancy. We’ll be having a scan at 7 weeks. I’m too scared to go earlier in case there isn’t a heartbeat because it’s early Xx

@Avocuddles I'm calling the epu on Monday and should get a date for next week. Same, we never saw a heartbeat, first scan at 6+6 they thought it was a blighted ovum but next scan at 8+6 there was a tiny foetal pole and yolk sac around 5+ weeks. I'm petrified but also need to know. I saw the GP last week and the pregnancy is recorded. I told him I'd already contacted epu for a scan but he was prepared to refer me if I hadn't.

@ReeReeR sorry you're feeling low, but well done for getting out to zumba! Is it raining by you? Grey weather never helps my mood.

@Catconfusion the Nutella was lovely but have heartburn now, worth it though :) you know your little bean is in the right place, hopefully at your scan there will be no mistaking where it is and how it's doing! Did you say yours is 7 weeks? Not too much longer now xx

Hey @VenusStarr my gp is arranging for 7 weeks. I’m to scared to go before then. Now I know there’s a sac I’m thinking about the what ifs. It’s like I’ve crossed off ectopic and now I’m worried about blighted ovum or no heartbeat. No doubt when I know there’s a heartbeat I’ll worry about other conditions and problems. It never ends! Generally I think I’m ok to just surrender to this and see what happens but I do get little waves of worry. I’m just letting them wash over me. Xx