The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #3 🐧🐧The Penguin Huddle 🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

New thread as the last one is nearing the max number of posts.

This is a supportive and safe space for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread though and have suffered a loss and are anxious about your new pregnancy please feel free to join the huddle 🐧

So ladies, I hope you are all here for the long haul until our 🌈 are delivered (and beyond if you fancy sticking around).

Let's pull on our positive pants and nerves of steel.

I'll start the roll call of EDD from the last thread:
@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty- 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland- 39 - EDD 18/02/20
@Tinatsarina - 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer - 29 - EDD 29/02/20
@duvetcaterpillar - 34 - EDD 27/03/2020

Also tagging: @rubyroot @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @boboelephant @Yukka @Russkispy @VenusStarr @Beaglemum93 @Squiff70 @Navy123 @Bellasblankexpression

So sorry if I've missed anyone. I've tried to include as many as I could.

Pregnant with baby #2, after miscarrying our first baby in July. My husband and I were both completely devastated, as I'm sure everybody on here knows all too well.

Now, I am concerned about the viability of this second baby.

Is there any hope for this pregnancy?

I have had blood test results for reassurance after a previous miscarriage, but unfortunately, it has done the opposite of reassuring. Although, I am the sort of character that feels empowered by knowledge, so I like having the information. Here are the results of my three blood tests.

1. 05.08.2019 (12-14DPO)
   HCG: 37 iU/L
   Progesterone: 75.1 nMol/L

2. 07.08.2019 (14-16DPO)
   HCG: 84 iU/L
   Progesterone: 99.8 nMol/L

(i.e. 127% increase, doubling every 42 hours)

3. 09.08.2019 (16-18DPO) HCG: 139 iU/L Progesterone: 81.8 nMol/L

(i.e. only 65.5% increase, prospectively doubling every 64 hours)

So, my HCG did not double for my third blood test and my progesterone decreased. The GP is taking a "let's wait and see what happens approach", but for my character and personality, that doesn't work! Am I right in thinking that this is not looking particularly positive? I should make peace that I will probably lose this pregnancy?

I need to be realistic. For me, sitting in a happy little baby bubble will not work, if it is that I am not going to be able to keep this baby either.

Hello Ladies! I'm back for a drop in to see how you all are. Lost the last thread so thanks for the tag @indreamland.

Its so lovely to see everyone still here and progressing well, plus a couple of new joiners too - congratulations. @tinypaws keeping everything crossed for you in these next few days and weeks, it sounds positive though.

Positive Pants are a continued theme for me (!) and I can only hope our success story gives you all something to remind yourself of to push through the tough days and keep thinking of your little bean inside and the good endorphins you can send its way.

So are any of you ready for the truth about giving birth? I only have one positive and awesome story to tell so let me know, it might be too much for some of you just yet as you work through the rollercoaster of anxiety but you won't get any bad/scary birthing comments from me. It was all good.

Otherwise we are doing brilliantly. Hard to believe she's been here almost 4 weeks, as it feels like she was always meant to be here. We've called her Fenna Catherine Tallulah, she's quiet and calm (most of the time).

With the APS condition, she did actually stop growing at 36 weeks - which was my last growth scan. She didn't grow at all after that due to the placenta starting to fail slowly after that but she wasn't really at any risk, induction was booked for 39.4 but she came herself at 38.4. In my mind I believe that my body recognised the placenta was struggling and got everything going. Which could have also been helped by the copius dark chocolate, raspberry leaf tea and acupuncture session I had the day before the contractions started . . . :)

From a treatment perspective now, I'm on Fragmin Heparin injections for 6 weeks from birth, and will then transfer back to GP to assess ongoing situation and whether I should take aspirin in non pregnant life or not. But I feel really well. I have a slight worry that as they think this is genetic I have passed it to Fenna, but, at least we are aware of it and at some point in the future I can get her tested.

But for now, just enjoying the moment, watching her sleeping and seeing how she changes. Newborn facial expressions are the best :)

Sending lots of love xxxx

So good to hear from you @Yukka! Fenna is a beautiful name! I can't believe it has been 4 weeks since you had her! Glad to hear you're doing so well :) I can't speak for anyone else but I'm ready to hear the truth about giving birth, especially if it's a positive one because all I've heard so far are awful ones! I'm not overly worried about it though, one way or another he'll come out, and I'm choosing to be positive now and believe he is going to be ok.

@Yukka lovely to see your update. Beautiful name, glad that you are enjoying every minute, I have been meaning to DM you. Scary that the APS stopped her growing towards the end but fantastic that your body took the lead. I am currently 7+2 and trying to be optimistic having seen a heartbeat at 5+5. They are scanning me again at 8+5. Injections/aspirin/pred seems to be doing its job so far 🤞
Enjoy every second of lovely Fenna x

Welcome @StrawberryCupcake111, I'm sorry for your loss ❤️ I've never had my hcg taken but have been offered an early scan with the epu. I'm calling them next week when I'm 6 weeks. Is that a possibility for you?

@Yukka what a beautiful name 😍 can't believe it's been 4 weeks already. Glad yo hear you're getting on well.

@TinyPaws how are you today lovely? Hope the spotting has eased off x

We might be having our scans around the same time @fnej01 🤞 we both get good news

@InDreamland thank you, it's so good to be able to be open here and know you all (unfortunately, because you've been through it) understand. Sorry you've been suffering with a cold. Thought I was getting one today too but its eased off now. The only thing we can have is paracetamol isn't it?

@frillyfarmer you're a very thoughtful friend. I think messaging before so she can process without pressure is really good advice :)

Hope everyone is doing OK today. Feeling like I could have an afternoon nap... Got to go to a meeting instead. X

Lovely to see your update @Yukka.

Glad all your screening results are low @InDreamland, have you tried something really minty to clear it?

I had my first check with fetal medicine today, everything is looking good so far. Was nice to meet the bereavement midwife (changed since I had DD2, only spoken to her on the phone previously), also the consultant seems nice. We both had the same preference for monitoring so nice to be on the same page, scans every 4 weeks and midwife checks in-between so heart beat is checked every other week. DD1 was small so I was recommended to take aspirin by one doctor when I was pregnant with DD2, I was then taken off it by another doctor as I'm asthmatic. The consultant I saw today (and will continue to see for the rest of the pregnancy) has recommended it as it didn't make my asthma worse and told me to monitor it. I was also correct that my placenta is anterior again (like DD1 but not DD2), it's low lying atm but as I'm having regular scans anyway she's not concerned and it's likely to move up anyway.

@Bluebelltulip glad your fetal medicine appt went well and you were on the same page with the docs. I want a similar level of monitoring for my APS but am fearful I will have a row about it. Hopefully I get that far to worry about it.

@VenusStarr how are you? When's the scan? Mines the 21st feel like I am wishing my life away wanting it to come around x

I havent got a date yet @fnej01, I'm calling on Monday to book in. I started bleeding at 6+3 last time and had a scan at 6+6 (didn't miscarry until 9+4). I'm hoping for either 22/23 Aug when I'll be 6+3/4. We're away the week after and don't think I can wait until I'm 8 weeks.

Is your scan at the epu or a private one? You had your first at epu didn't you? I'm wishing these next few weeks away too xx

Thank you @fnej01 I was worried that I wouldn't get what I wanted but she suggested it so I didn't even need to ask.

Lovely to see an update @Yukka - the early days whizz by don't they?! My first was a looooooong labour but it was definitely a positive experience, I'm sort of excited for the childbirth which is an odd feeling as I dreaded it first time round!

@Bluebelltulip it's really good that you didn't even have to ask.

@VenusStarr at the moment scans are under RMC at St Mary's due to the APS diagnosis they seem to be continually monitoring how my blood clots every couple of weeks. They scan at the same time to ensure the pregnancy still viable. I am hoping they will continue through the first trimester which was what they said when I was diagnosed but we will see. Is yours EPU or private?

I'm glad you're being monitored regularly @fnej01, really nice that you get to see your baby growing too. My scan will be at the epu. Part of me wants them to offer another one around 9 weeks if all OK, but another part of me doesn't.

Glad all went well at the fetal medicine yesterday @Bluebelltulip

I was in bed at 9.30 last night, feeling a bit more rested today. Have a good day everyone xx

@StrawberryCupcake111 sorry you're feeling so anxious. Unfortunately it is a wait and see at this point. There's a mix of experiences out there so the outcome cannot be predicted. Keeping fx for you.

@Yukka lovely to hear from you and what a beautiful name! Happy to hear the birth story, my head isn't in that space yet, I can't worry about something that I don't believe will happen, just still trying to take one day at a time.

@VenusStarr yep, paracetamol is the only thing we can take which doesn't get rid of or help clear phlegm. So I'm feeling incredibly sorry for myself.

@Bluebelltulip I have had peppermint tea but it's not cleared. I'll try more. Glad your appointment went well. Looks like quite a few of us are going to the fetal medicine centre.

Made it to 13w today. Celebrated with my head over kitchen sink this morning heaving but not throwing up. All I brought up was phlegm and water. Thought I'd stop breathing and goodness it hurt my stomach. Now feeling nauseous on the tube. Not a good start to the day. I'm so fed up. Pregnancy and having a cold do not mix.

@Indreamland you're a third of the way there! Your results were great and chromosomal issues the biggest reasons for losing baby.
I can see why you're still anxious though.

I feel sick too, but only because I have a scan today

@InDreamland I hope your cold goes soon. I'm not going to the fetal medicine centre it's the fetal medicine unit at the hospital.

Good luck for your scan today @rubyroot. Fingers crossed all is ok!

Sorry you have a cold @InDreamland, but congratulations on getting to the second trimester!

@rubyroot that's a good way of seeing it, wish it didn't feel like such a long hard slog. It's dragged so the next 2 will be worse I'm sure.

@Bluebelltuilp of course , sorry, I knew that too, brain really not working.

@rubyroot good luck on your scan today!!

@Yukka thanks for the update and I absolutely love your daughter’s name!! Could you tell us the birth story? Glad you are doing so well xxx.

@VenusStarr I’m wishing the days away until my next scan too, everything crossed for you!! The waiting is so hard, isn’t it?

@rubyroot Good luck for your scan today! Hope all is well

@rubyroot fx for your scan! Hope it goes well. What time is it?

Hi all, I have only been loosely following on here as since bleeding I was pretty sure I had MC and went back to the other thread. Bleeding has stopped and FRER is negative so think it was a cp, which is fine, at least I know and am not in limbo.

Also 6 months today since I had my baby girl ❤️

Congrats on the scans! It seems like it has been a good few months for the penguin huddle doesn’t it. Hopefully there is something in the water!

The friendship thing is hard. Think I told you I had something similar with a friend who came to our DD funeral but then wasn’t in touch at all for months after that. I messaged her to ask how they are, worrying something might be wrong as she hasn’t even texted, and she said she hadn’t wanted to intrude and doesn’t want to upset me but she’s pregnant. I thought it a bit off that she hadn’t been in touch anyway and then when I contacted her she didn’t even ask how we were before telling us her news. I replied etc but she still hasn’t been in touch again. I consider the friendship over. It’s hard to get past that.

@Bluebelltulip I know the mw you mean and she is lovely. I have already had apps through for the rainbow clinic near me but unfortunately I won’t need them yet!

@Yukka Huge congratulations to you

PS the newbies in the other thread who ee to ignore everything except posts directly relevant to them are annoying me 🙄 but maybe I’m in a bad mood 😬

Love to you all

Hi All, any ideas on how to stop being worried? This is my third pregnancy this year. Last two were CPs. Conceived on cd37 and I was on two rounds of antibiotics cs8-cd35 due to strepA infection. Had a scan at 6w last week which showed all ok, heartbeat, measurements match my calculations. Going to have another scan on Friday but really freaking out due to almost no nausea, nipples are not sore any more, some abdominal cramps on and off. My husband doesn’t understand what’s going on with me, I’m so grumpy due to constant anxiety, can’t stop googling.

Hi @ReeReeR I can't imagine what you've been through and it must be so hard miscarrying again. I had a chemical too about 12 weeks ago. Now I'm 8 weeks and scan says all is okay still.

But I know that's no guarantee after bad news at 13 weeks. So next milestone is ten week harmony test and scan which I'll book today.

@Worriedmum97 you're asking the wrong people. We're all highly anxious people here. 😂Welcome to the thread. Sorry, in all honesty, I have no tips. I'm a complete mess. Try and distract yourself as much as poss and take each day as it comes. If it's any help. My boobs have deflated over the last couple of days so I was crapping myself. Scan today showed all is currently okay.. For now.

Oh and I'm also having all sorts of aches, twinges and pains