The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #3 🐧🐧The Penguin Huddle 🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

New thread as the last one is nearing the max number of posts.

This is a supportive and safe space for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread though and have suffered a loss and are anxious about your new pregnancy please feel free to join the huddle 🐧

So ladies, I hope you are all here for the long haul until our 🌈 are delivered (and beyond if you fancy sticking around).

Let's pull on our positive pants and nerves of steel.

I'll start the roll call of EDD from the last thread:
@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty- 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland- 39 - EDD 18/02/20
@Tinatsarina - 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer - 29 - EDD 29/02/20
@duvetcaterpillar - 34 - EDD 27/03/2020

Also tagging: @rubyroot @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @boboelephant @Yukka @Russkispy @VenusStarr @Beaglemum93 @Squiff70 @Navy123 @Bellasblankexpression

So sorry if I've missed anyone. I've tried to include as many as I could.

Lovely news @Frillyfarmer and @sadtoday21

I hear you @strawberrye not sure I have a cure. I'm off fizzy drinks. I think eating smaller amounts more frequently rather than large meals but easier said than done. I think it's just one of those things!

I'm so tired and I'm so fed up feeling tired. I probably don't help myself as after a tiring week of work DH and I always like to do fun things with DS at weekends, being 3 he has sooooo much energy that needs burning off but it's exhausting! Early night tonight I think! I was not half this tired in my previous pregnancy. Maybe it's age or maybe I forget how much more time I could make for me when pregnant the first time or combination of the two. Please tell me others are permanently shattered?!?

Congratulations on your scans @frillyfarmer and @sadtoday21.

@Newbie21 permanently shattered here too, toddlers and pregnancy are not a good combination. My DD is staying with Grandma for a few days this week so looking forward to some rest.

@rubyroot I'm not good at taking my own advice either then I feel guilty that I'm not as excited this time but I know that's natural. Trying to find a balance.

@Newbie21 yeah maybe I need to cut out first drinks. I normally never drink them but am finding ginger beer (non alcoholic of course) really helps the nausea. With regards to the tiredness I am certainly needing a lie down in the afternoon and getting more tired in the evening - having been off work a couple of weeks I'm dreading managing this at work as I work long days and a pretty full on job. I don't have a toddler to run around after though so you have my utmost respect!!

@moonpeace thanks! I have given up caffeine completely, did so whilst TTC but that's just personal preference really. I just have decaf tea and never really have Coke etc. My weakness is chocolate I think the recommendation is less than 200 micrograms of caffeine a day in pregnancy, Tommy's have a good calculator which might help alleviate your worries? www.tommys.org/pregnancy-information/im-pregnant/nutrition-pregnancy/check-your-caffeine-intake-pregnancy

*fizzy not first
And what is going on with these emoticons, my weakness is chocolate, winking face, not chocolate gin! Although that is a business idea...

Thanks @rubyroot and @InDreamland for the tags - the threads have moved so fast I nearly missed you all on the new thread!

@russkispy I'm so sorry for your loss, awful news. How are you holding up? Hope the physical pain isn't too much - there's no real cure for the emotional sort, but a big virtual hug to you to help you ride through it. Thinking of you.

@frillyfarmer @sadtoday21 great news on the scans, and fantastic Harmony results @InDreamland - am so pleased for you all.
Many happy returns to the birthday girls as well!

Quick recap on me - 34, no living children, TTC #1 since Sept 2018, ectopic pregnancy and left Fallopian tube removal in Feb 2019. Currently 7+1 weeks pregnant again, and swinging madly between excitement and anxiety.

@rubyroot I'm doing OK thanks, overall. Was a bit of a panicking mess a couple of days this week, but DH has now returned from a week away, and he's always lovely and reassuring to have around, so am feeling calmer. Had my midwife booking in appointment as well and she's going to put me down for some of their 'managing anxiety with exercise' sessions, which I'm really looking forward to. How are things with you?

Ooh, welcome @mistymeow, how lovely to see you here! Hope your stay with us is full term, contented and entirely uneventful.

@moonpeace I'm not cutting out caffeinated drinks, but I've never really drunk them very often anyway (4/5 cups of tea a week, no coffee, limited chocolate). I've switched to decaf tea because I found a brand that tastes nice (Yorkshire) but if I fancy a can of Coke, I'm generally cracking on.

@moonpeace at the moment I'm drinking around a cup of dried coffee in morn and one or two cups of tea a day. I did go decaff last pregnancy. Haven't done that this time.

@moonpeace I started drinking decaf whilst TTC and have an occasional cup of tea. Now pregnant I'm completely off coffee - the smell makes me nauseous but I have the occasional tea and also drink lemon and ginger tea. I was having a Coke Zero once every couple of days which has caffeine in it. I can't seem to find decaf Coke Zero here in uk and I'm not a fan of diet decaf coke. But now I struggle with fizzy drinks so it's v occasional - but that's not anti-caffeine thing. Also I'm not going to say no chocolate and that has caffeine in it

Congratulations on your scan @Frillyfarmer!

@moonpeace I switched to decaf tea while TTC and I haven't had chocolate since finding out because I'm trying to stay caffeine free. I'm being overcautious though because I don't want to be able to blame myself if something goes wrong again.

Thanks for the warm welcome everyone!

@moonpeace I stick to the nhs guidelines and have one filter coffee a day. I understand that people may want to cut out caffeine completely but I’m finding it helps lift my mood in the morning. I’m not worried at all that one coffee a day is going to do anything. I miscarried drinking coffee last time, didn’t drink any the first time and still miscarried. But it’s whatever that makes you feel comfortable. Alternatively m&s do a really nice decaf :)

Thanks @moonpeace @Newbie21*@Bluebelltulip @DuvetCaterpillar* @Beaglemum93!!! Fx these good scans can keep coming for all of us Xxx.

@moonpeace I did cut out all coffee in my first pregnancy, which ended in mmc at 12 weeks. This time I promised I wouldn't stress too much, so I allowed myself coffee (only 1 a day max), but actually I can't stomach it. It's weird, I don't have morning sickness, but I can't stand the smell or taste of coffee (I usually LOVE coffee and I drink at least 2-3 cups a day). So I am not drinking any, as it turns out. But I think it is a personal choice and that one cup of coffee a day is totally fine.

@moonpeace I've cut out caffeine from coffee (by drinking the same amount but decaf - placebo effect) and if I fancy a Diet Coke I buy the caffeine free version. That way I figure I have loads to play with in case I fancy chocolate or coffee out occasionally. 200mg is the NHS recommendation and I figured that must be based on research - they don't have a safe research amount on alcohol so they say best to avoid, I feel because they're allowing 200mg in the "safe" category, it must be fine to have that?

I'd recommend the "expecting better" book by Emily oster- I read it during my first pregnancy and it really really helped rest my anxiety by plain explaining the research and risks of pregnancy.

Second everything @Frillyfarmer said - great book and 200 mg of caffeine is fine.

Anyone else feeling completely exhausted? Just hit 9 weeks today and feeling really sluggish!

@moonpeace like others I have converted predominantly to decaf and the placebo effect. About once a week I have a normal coffee. I've not really had any fizzy drinks but wouldn't worry about a coke if I fancied it. I drink decaf tea normally. I do like chocolate so figure I am using some allowance for that.
I basically figure I have so many diagnoses - if it's all going to go wrong there is going to be a queue of likely reasons on the list before caffeine.

Lovely scan @Frillyfarmer

@InDreamland not sure if I congratulated you on the harmony results yesterday - so pleased for you

I am totally pooped today - slept in and 2 naps and still dead on my feet!

Hope all are doing ok x

2 naps today for me too 😅 Back to work on Monday after the summer holidays and just crossing my fingers I can make it through the work day!!

Morning all.

Glad to hear you had a good scan @sadtoday21 ❤️ it must have been such a relief xx

@frillyfarmer beautiful scan picture, glad all is well and hope you can begin to relax now. Was that your 12 week or do you have another?

@InDreamland, hope you're doing OK with dh away 💜 good news about your results too.

I'm struggling today, 4+5 and just feel on edge. Feel like my symptoms have eased off a bit, so paranoid that it's all over. Just trying to reassure myself that I'm not bleeding. It's hard because having a mmc previously my body didn't let me know there was an issue. Can I just sleep until I know it's all OK? 😔🤞

@Catconfusion how are you today? Xx

So much to catch up on! I won’t name drop individually as I will be writing an essay but I’m really chuffed to see lots of scan pics and good news.

Really sad to read your news @russkispy :( I hope you are looking after yourself life is bloody cruel sometimes

I’ve started feeling nervous about our twenty week scan already even though it’s not until the 27th. It’s the one we got bad news at last time and although that same issue hasn’t been evident so far, the little fluid issue has come up and now it’s just a wait and see game til that scan. I was already going to be a wreck for it because of last time and now I just feel sick whenever I think about it :(

I also feel sick every single time I eat something thought all the sickness had buggered off but obviously not.

Interesting to see so many of you have gone off coffee - I have too and was a previous total coffee fiend. I miss having it but cannot stomach it. I had decaff last time and midwife said that was fine

@Bellasblankexpression I hope all will be well and that the anxiety doesn't get the better of you although I can totally understand why you feel that way. Easier said than done, but if you can, try to occupy your mind with other fun things or projects for the next few weeks. The odds are certainly in your favour so I hope you can stay positive x

Hey @VenusStarr sorry to hear you’re on edge today. I think you’re right that mmc makes you more sceptical, even when no bleeding and cramping. We know now the logic of it being viable because no bleeding and cramping didn’t work for us.

I think the pregnancy symptoms do come in waves. My breasts weren’t as sore yesterday morning but last night they were so sore they stung. Try not to worry if you’re feeling a bit better. I don’t think it’s a case of them gradually getting worse.

I had a mishap with my progesterone pessary last night. I thought I’d put it in but DH found the shell of it on the bathroom floor this morning. It must have pinged off the applicator when I pulled it out. Of course I examine the applicator for blood each time. I had a panic about my progesterone level dropping and miscarriage but it seems highly unlikely. I put another one in this morning so I’m sure it’ll be fine.

Overall I feel calm today but I know that might change. I just keep saying to myself there is nothing else I can do. The fate of this pregnancy is already decided. It’s a different pregnancy so my chances are good. I just need to get to each mile stone. 5 weeks on Tuesday is the next! I do wish we could just all go to sleep until we know it’s all ok! Xx

Yes 5 weeks is my next milestone (tomorrow) 🤞 that's true about the fate already being decided. I just hope it's decided in our favour 💜 @Catconfusion I told dh I feel too scared to dtd at the moment and he totally understands. Just wish I could be normal and not so anxious. Guess this is my new normal for now.

I'm sure the pessary is OK. You do sound very calm, will try and take your lead xx

Just realised I can't add up and I'm 4+6 today, that makes me feel a bit better.

@venusstarr my symptoms have come and gone all the time. I’m now 18 weeks and they still come and go. I would try not to read too much into it - I know it’s hard - mmc is one of the biggest headfucks and really messes with your mind when you’re pregnant again.

Thanks @Newbie21 I’m certainly hoping so! I’m not sure I can cope with going through it all again if it doesn’t end up in our favour.

Hi girls another that has experienced a missed miscarriage. I had really loose pooh day of my six week scan and totally thought it was all over- had it with previous miscarriages. There was a heartbeat tho.

I'm still crapping it. Wake up in the morning and boobs no longer hurt, then they start hurting later in the day. They also seem to deflate (again never a good sign for me in the past) but then they seem inflated again later.
Anyway I'll have an idea on Tuesday whether these things are bad or good. 8 week scan and completely crapping it.