The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #3 🐧🐧The Penguin Huddle 🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

New thread as the last one is nearing the max number of posts.

This is a supportive and safe space for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread though and have suffered a loss and are anxious about your new pregnancy please feel free to join the huddle 🐧

So ladies, I hope you are all here for the long haul until our 🌈 are delivered (and beyond if you fancy sticking around).

Let's pull on our positive pants and nerves of steel.

I'll start the roll call of EDD from the last thread:
@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty- 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland- 39 - EDD 18/02/20
@Tinatsarina - 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer - 29 - EDD 29/02/20
@duvetcaterpillar - 34 - EDD 27/03/2020

Also tagging: @rubyroot @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @boboelephant @Yukka @Russkispy @VenusStarr @Beaglemum93 @Squiff70 @Navy123 @Bellasblankexpression

So sorry if I've missed anyone. I've tried to include as many as I could.

A bit behind on the thread but hope everyone is ok. I had a really sleepless night pre harmony scan and bloods today, but very relieved to say scan looked fine, baby measuring exactly 10+4 and 169 heart rate. It was the first time the heart rate has been measured so reassured. Now just the nervous wait for the blood results which they have said about a week. DH and I nearly had a domestic about whether to find out the sex, but managed to persuade him not, as just feel like I need to do one step at a time. Thanks for asking @sadtoday21 glad all was well at your scan.

My acupuncturist has but little seed pressure points in my ear to see if it helps my anxiety and insomnia. Is anyone else suffering with the insomnia? I am awake between 2am and 4am most nights. Not sure if it's the steroids or what

@fnej01 really glad to hear your scan went well today!! That's so reassuring to see a healthy hb at 10+4. It seems we might receive our test results around the same time - I was also told 4 days if bad news and 7-10 if good. Thinking of you and wishing for low risk results for both of us! Xxx

@sadtoday21 I think it will be a nerve racking wait as it gets closer! Fingers crossed for both of us, that it's a lovely low risk result. One step at a time!

Thanks for asking @TinyPaws, I'm not great to be honest. Dh and I argued earlier, he doesn't want me to mope and dwell on things, I just want to be left alone. I'd quite happily sit and stare at the wall all day. Dh feels like it can still work out and has hope 💔 my head is in a dark place and I just feel so angry.
Wishing you positive thoughts for your scan @TinyPaws 💜💜

@Melpops36 thank you for your message, I'm sorry you've been in the same position but glad you're in a good place now.

Thank you @strawberrye @InDreamland @sadtoday21 @Avocuddles @frillyfarmer @Ginmonkey84 @ChikiTIKI - so pleased you had good news today ❤️

@VenusStarr it's difficult when your partner has hope and you don't. I had this with my first mmc, I knew it was over as soon as I had a bit of brown blood before the scan, my bloke was being hopeful and it really pissed me off as I just didn't want any false hope.
You will come through this I promise. I don't know what to suggest really? Can you watch some shitty series on catch up or something to distract your mind? Have some wine? Eat something nice?
Sorry youre going through this again.

@rubyroot it's comforting to hear that you don't have nausea. I'm gassy and bloated but not nauseous at all, both my consultant and acupuncturist have told me not to worry about that as at least a third of women don't suffer, and I'm pretty sure my mum also told me she never had issues. My boobs on the other hand certainly feel pregnant, my nips have a life of their own! 😂

@VenusStarr sorry that you and your DH are on a different page. I suspect he's trying to protect himself from the pain of what may have happened - when I miscarried it took several days before my DH let himself break down and cry, I think he was trying to be strong for me which was kind to an extent, but not really helpful for either of us. Angry is a good emotion - what you're experiencing isn't at all fair and you are more than entitled to rage at the universe right now. Do whatever you need to to let it out, and feel free to share your feelings and concerns here if your DH isn't receptive to them xx

How is everyone this evening?
I tried the anti sickness meds today with mixed results... first they made me sleep for an hour, then stood up and very nearly passed out, retched continuously for 20 minutes then have sort of felt ok ish after that as long as I eat. I was too scared to take a second dose! Going to try one before bed to see if that helps...
Also had a row with DH as he said everyone feels this crap when pregnant and maybe I should try to do more as I might feel better
But I'm not sure everyone does feel this bad? I can barely stand up straight. There is no way I'm going to be able to work on Wednesday at this rate which is stressing me out massively.
God sorry to moan again. Think I've lost my positive pants...
Will reply to everyone properly in the morning xxx

@janey15 no it isn’t normal to feel this bad and it’s a shame your DH can’t understand this. I don’t know anyone in real life who’s suffered this bad in pregnancy. It’s not a case of just getting up, getting out and you’ll feel better. The more you try and do the worse you feel. I think you’re right to take the medication if you have work coming up. Luckily I’m self employed so taking some time out. If not I’d be trying the pills for sure. I really hope they work for you. Try not to stress about work. I know it’s hard but you’re doing everything you can and if you’re still too ill for work it can’t be helped. Good luck for this week! Xx

Sorry that you and your husband are struggling with your grief in different ways.

Thanks again for your kind wishes everyone. After no bleeding yesterday and a few tiny old dots of brown before bed, I am having more brown blood this morning. Hoping that it will go away once I am up and about for a bit. Trying to stay positive xxxx

P.s. I saw a rainbow last night and there is one outside my window this morning.

Praying that we all have our rainbow babies soon xxxx

Hi ladies I've one again been a bit awol. Sorry to those having a particularly tough time at the moment. Stay strong, you will get through this.

So words of advice...to prevent you absolutely freaking out unnecessarily do not, I repeat DO NOT, order or make a beetroot salad. Went out for DH's birthday dinner yesterday and I couldn't have my first choice starter as the Mayo was fresh and non-pasteurized so I opted for the new h route salad. Well, when I went to the loo when I got back to our hotel and did no1 and no2 (sorry tmi) it was all red like blood. I totally freaked out. It happened every time when I went to the loo for the following 6 hours. It was the flippin' dye in the beetroot! Never happened to me before.

Sorry for your beetroot experience @Newbie21

Me and my siblings used to eat loads of beetroot and see who got a purple wee first. We were a bit weird I think.

Glad you're ok now xxxx

@Frillyfarmer those are great results for the NT test. I stressed about mine too because I heard of someone with better results than me but the chances are incredibly low.

@sadtoday21 glad to hear your 12 week scan went well :)

Great news on your scan @ChikiTIKI! Brown spotting is horrible. I had it for weeks and it is terrifying.

Good luck for your scan tomorrow @TinyPaws, fingers crossed all is ok! Try not to worry too much about the nausea, mine was never that bad and was actually worse when it was supposed to be getting better - everyone is different and symptoms really don't indicate how things are going.

@fnej01 congratulations on the good scan!

I'm so sorry you're going through this again @VenusStarr. It's so hard when you're both grieving. It is possible he's trying to be strong for you. You will get through this, it's completely devastating and is not easy but it will get better. I'm still not over my MMC and truthfully I'm not sure I ever will but I'm coping better now. I have everything crossed for you that you will get your rainbow soon.

@janey15 sorry you're feeling so terrible and that your DH isn't understanding just how bad you feel. Don't worry about work, you and the baby are more important! If the tablets the doctor has given you don't work go back to them because there are others they can try.

Sorry about your beetroot scare @Newbie21! It must have been worrying!

I'm now at 24 weeks! I wish I could say pregnancy is flying in but it is still dragging... Just 4 days until my first growth scan and consultant appointment, hopefully he'll be ok and my stupid thyroid isn't making him ill.

Hi everyone, hope you're all okay?

So glad everything was okay at the scan @ChikiTIKI. It's so hard not to panic when you see spotting.

I have been a raging hormone monster all weekend. I get really bad PMS anyway and it's like that x 100. Angry at everyone one minute, crying the next, then fine for while until it all begins again. I'm only just over 5 weeks, which seems too early to be so all over the place... Anyone else suffering killer mood swings?

@VenusStarr - sorry there's been some tension between you and your husband. For what it's worth, I had a similar issue with my dh with both of my mmcs. He's an optimist and kept saying 'let's hope for the best' after I started spotting, whereas I'm a realist and kept saying 'prepare for the worst'. I think they think it's helpful to be optimistic, but in some cases it's just not what you need to hear, especially when hope might make things more heartbreaking in the long run. I hope you're doing okay 💕

Congratulations on the scans @sadtoday21, @fnej01 and @ChikiTIKI! Sorry that you are still spotting though. I bled all the way through my DD pregnancy and it’s horrible. But the scan is a good sign and I hope it brings you some comfort.

@Frillyfarmer I wouldn’t worry about those results at all!

Good luck for your scan tomorrow @TinyPaws! Keeping all crossed for you xxx

Can't believe you're 24 weeks now @Beaglemum93! Not long until the third trimester!! Eek!

Sorry you are still feeling so rough @janey15. Don't let your husband minimise it and if it continues to be bad do seek help and make sure you get as much rest as you can!

I think the mood swings and emotions is partly stress and worry too @Dimblebimble. It's just such a bloody difficult time emotionally and that's without all the hormones and changes in our bodies. It really is a lot to deal with xxx

Remind me how many weeks you are @Avocuddles? I had barely any nausea when pregnant with DD, maybe a few days here and there, so it really doesn't mean much. Although it can strike at any time so you may not be out of the woods yet!

Your beetroot story made me laugh @Newbie21! Funnily enough you're not the first person I've heard those kinds of beetroot tales from! Will stay away I think!

Nothing to report my end! DD has taken to singing twinkle twinkle little star to "the baby brother in mummy's tummy" 😊 Makes me feel all kinds of emotional! Next appointment for me will be with my consultant on 11th to hopefully get the date for my section!

Sorry to anyone I've missed! xxx

Your DD singing to her little brother is too cute @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue!

@Newbie21 I've been there with the beetroot freak out - it wasn't when I was pregnant but some years ago after a heavy night out. The toilet panic lasted for some time until I went downstairs and an empty packet on the side reminded me that I'd single handedly devoured a large pack of beetroot crisps! 😂 glad all was ok for you!

@Beaglemum93 fantastic getting to 24 weeks - your fetus has progressed to baby status! Hope your scan this week goes well.

@Dimblebimble definitely normal to feel all over the place - these early weeks are when your hormones are going truly crazy so unfortunately acting and feeling as if you have the worst PMT ever is to be expected!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue your DD singing to new sibling sounds so cute! Thanks for asking after me. I'm 6+4, scary time as it's when spotting started last time around and only a few days before I miscarried. Feeling a bit crampy this evening which is disconcerting after a couple of cramp free days, also feel like I've got a sore throat and headache coming so suspect this could be a long week.... 😕

Thanks @Beaglemum93! Wow, 24 weeks, that is a huge milestone - congrats!! Hope your scan goes well this week and baby is growing big and strong :). Do you have scans after 20 weeks because of a thyroid condition? Or does the NHS usually do additional growth scans after the anatomy scan? Thought 12 and 20 were the only ones, but now I'm not sure!

Thanks @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, I loved the story of your DD singing to your baby!! That must have been very sweet

Evening all. I'm not going to moan this evening!
FWIW I think my dh was just repeating something his mum had said! He's actually been incredibly helpful and looked after me every moment he's been home despite working stupidly long hours this week.
I'm feeling really panicky about our scan on Tuesday. I feel like my symptoms other than the nausea have lessened over the last few days. Just want it to be over and done with - I think I'll be a mess when I get in there!
I'm struggling to read the whole thread screens are making me feel worse but will try to reply when I can.
Hope everyone is ok xxx

@sadtoday21 I'm guessing by beaglemums username there may be other reasons behind extra scans, but I have to have extra scans I think at 28 weeks for growth scans as I'm 40

@janey15 roll on Tuesday and good luck for your scan. It's always worrying when they near

@rubyroot @sadtoday21 I'll be having at least two extra growth scans in 3rd trimester due to history of blood clots (+ over 35 which increases risk further). Wish the extra scans were early on as this is when I could really do with reassurance, though obviously know it's all for good reasons! x

@sadtoday21 I'm getting growth scans every four weeks from now until he arrives to check his thyroid because I have an overactive thyroid so there's a chance he could develop thyroid problems too. Both consultants I'm seeing have agreed that because my thyroid is so well under control there's very little chance of it affecting him though so hopefully he'll be ok. The extra scans are really just so that the paediatricians can put a plan in place if need be before he's born.