The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #3 🐧🐧The Penguin Huddle 🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

New thread as the last one is nearing the max number of posts.

This is a supportive and safe space for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread though and have suffered a loss and are anxious about your new pregnancy please feel free to join the huddle 🐧

So ladies, I hope you are all here for the long haul until our 🌈 are delivered (and beyond if you fancy sticking around).

Let's pull on our positive pants and nerves of steel.

I'll start the roll call of EDD from the last thread:
@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty- 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland- 39 - EDD 18/02/20
@Tinatsarina - 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer - 29 - EDD 29/02/20
@duvetcaterpillar - 34 - EDD 27/03/2020

Also tagging: @rubyroot @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @boboelephant @Yukka @Russkispy @VenusStarr @Beaglemum93 @Squiff70 @Navy123 @Bellasblankexpression

So sorry if I've missed anyone. I've tried to include as many as I could.

So sorry @VenusStarr :( it is so unfair. Look after yourself x

Apologies for anyone I've missed, I can't keep up when I'm at work and was so exhausted when I got home I ended up going to bed at half 8!

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue I'm planning on taking a year starting on my due date but using two weeks annual leave before it so my last day will hopefully be 5th December when I'll be 37+4.

I rang the community midwife office and they're posting my MATB1 form to me.

@InDreamland from what I've read online it says you should give the MATB1 form to work by 15 weeks before your due date (25 weeks). It might depend on who you work for, it can be later but it seems to be employer dependent.

Great news on your scan @InDreamland! Hope you can enjoy your holiday now knowing that baby is ok. There's no evidence to say scans can harm the baby, it's likely they're just trying to save you money and pre-scan anxiety.

Congratulations @Jojowash and welcome! Sorry for your previous loss and fingers crossed this is your rainbow.

@rubyroot great news about your low risk results! Such a relief! When is your 12 week scan?

@Bluebelltulip so glad to hear your 20 week scan went well :)

Sorry you've had a scare @ChikiTIKI, hopefully it's nothing sinister and your scan goes well tomorrow!

Congratulations @Bluebelltulip and @InDreamland! Hope you can both relax a small bit now, even just for a while! I wouldn't worry about scans either @InDreamland. I mean some people have growth or other monitoring scans every two weeks and they wouldn't do that if it were dangerous. That said I always try to leave two weeks in between any scans I've had but I really don't think it will be harmful.

@Beaglemum93 I checked my work and it's definitely by 25 weeks too. Better book my Drs app as midwives won't give me it until my 28 week app! Last time I wanted to go off at 37 weeks but ended going at 35 as I was just so tired and couldn't be bothered with work or the commute by then! I actually ended up with almost six weeks off as I was over due but I also had a house sale fall through and it was so stressful I was glad of the time to sort everything! This time I am hoping to go at 36.5 weeks which will be using my remaining leave first. Think it will be nice to have some time before Christmas anyway as it's always so hectic!

@rubyroot great news about your results!

Time does go slowly @Avocuddles and there is always something to worry about, but I do feel a bit better now at 22 weeks! I wonder if anyone actually enjoys pregnancy, I mean you might enjoy bits of it but it is so full of things to worry about, must be in preparation for when they get here and a lifetime of worry!! The first trimester is horrible but hang in there, it will be worth it for us all in the end.

Thinking of you today @ChikiTIKI and hoping all is ok xxx

Morning all.

@VenusStarr I'm so sorry to read your news xxx

@rubyroot great news on the test results, is that your milestone now?

I got my NT results back yesterday, I hadn't opted for NIPT because I didn't with my last (I'm 29). I'm low risk but downs is 1:11730 and I can't find the ranges online? I'm sure my DS was 1:75000 but I can't my notes on that either! Obviously I have to have something to worry over 🙄

@Frillyfarmer I think that is quite low chance although I am not a medical professional. When I think of those odds I think one in eleven thousand chance, is like one person out of five times the size of the huge high school I went to.

Thanks @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, it's reassuring to know that others (well, probably everyone here!) feel the same anxieties. The next week will be a big one for me to get through, then I think if I get past 12 weeks then I'll probably be able to relax a little more.

@Frillyfarmer those odds are nothing to worry about! If you put it in context those odds equate to having a baby every month for 1,000 years. Celebrate your super low risk status and tick that off your list of worries xx

Sorry for tmi here...

I had a bath after getting home from the hospital and a few more blobs of very dark brown old blood type stuff came out. Not had anything at all since then. I am starting to wonder if this all came from the long walk I went on. I am back to feeling quite sick today as opposed to extremely poorly, sick and exhausted which is how I felt the last couple of days since the walk.

Got some travel sickness bands yesterday, wearing again today hopefully they help.

It's hard to let myself be optimistic but I know I will regret it if I am pessimistic about the baby. Hoping and praying for good news later this morning. My poor husband barely slept all night and can't come with us as he is at work.

Thanks @fnej01 for asking after me! I had my 12 week scan yesterday and incredibly all was well for now. Measuring a day ahead and baby was moving and waving!

The scan was at the same hospital as where I had my mmc at 12 weeks so very difficult to go back there and was really expecting the worst. Now waiting anxiously for test results....4 days if bad news and a week otherwise. How are you doing? Xxx

Beautiful scan @Indreamland! How many weeks are you now? I’ve never heard that about scanning too much. I think I need to do it every two weeks until I feel movement, so I hear you about the difficult wait between 12 and 20. Not sure what I’m going to do!

Congrats on your test results @rubyroot! Hope your scan goes well xxx.

@VenusStarr I’m so so sorry to read your news, words can’t express 💐. Mmc is much more common than they say and it’s just cruel to make you feel like one of the “unlucky” ones in the 1%. I myself was in the 0.5% for what happened to me and I hated thinking that way. It just made it all feel so much worse. You aren’t alone and you’ll be back on here before you know it. Wishing you a speedy recovery, lots of wine, and sending you hugs 🤗

@VenusStarr I’m so sorry to hear your update. The same thing happened to me at the same number of weeks. They too saw development so made me wait 2 weeks. After 10 days I called up in tears and asked for an early rescan which they did and baby hadn’t developed.
2 in a row is so hard to deal with, I went a bit mad googling everything and had convinced myself it was a huge problem.
Luckily I got pregnant 3 months later and now 27 weeks all seems ok.
I think it is far more common than we think.
Sending you my thoughts and a virtual hug.

Congrats on all the good scans and tests. My downs results were 1:3500 and I’m not at all worried! If you work it out as a percentage it might help settle any anxieties.

@VenusStarr I’m so so sorry I truly am. No words that will comfort you but my thoughts are with you and I truly hope your rainbow isn’t too far away.

@ChikiTIKI I really hope your scan goes okay this morning.

Some absolutely amazing news and scans @dreamland and @rubyroot sorry if I’ve missed other people there’s so much to catch up on.

Sorry I’ve been missing for a whole month, I’ve had some crazy anxiety and had stupid thoughts that if I posted and said everything was still going okay something would go wrong. Stupid I know. Just wanted to stay in a bubble and let time pass.

I’m 12 weeks tomorrow and have my NIPT test at 4pm. Looking forward to seeing if baby is still doing good although I’ve been listening to the heartbeat everyday on my Doppler, has given me a little reassurance although still nervous wish it was today but will update as soon as we have our scan.

@sadtoday21 ah we cross posted so I completely missed your update. I’m absolutely delighted for you so glad it went well xx

@InDreamland what a gorgeous scan 😍 Have a lovely holiday! Are you going somewhere hot?

@Avocuddles I've had loads of (tmi) discharge but I thought it was reassuring? Except when you're out and cans regularly knicker watch... in fact I had less yesterday afternoon and it's started me off worrying about symptoms going

I was woken in the night be quite a strong cramping in my lower abdomen. I was having a stress dream at the time so not sure if I stretched or tensed and that set it off? Now I'm panicking that I don't actually feel pregnant and I'm just ill. I've got a headache, sore throat, feeling queasy and really uncomfortable indigestion. I sometimes feel like my food is coming back up - sorry I know that's gross.

Also because the dr was reluctant to give me the sickness tablets I'm now feeling guilty about taking them. I feel like if I was vomiting a couple of times a day I could take them and feel ok but as I've only got 24hr nausea I just have to put up with it?

Have any of you taken the tablets just for nausea? I can barely clean my teeth, make food, look at a screen, load the dishwasher etc it all make me retch!

@janey15 I have the same dilemma. I’m nauseous 24/7 and vomiting once a day in the morning. I was up at 4am because I felt so ill and had to eat. My doctor gave me cyclizene at 4 weeks based on my history of sickness with my mmc. I’m just really scared if we get bad news at our scan next week I’ll blame myself for taking them. I know they’re relatively safe but I just don’t want to do anything to jeopardise the pregnancy. My quality of life however is pretty bad most days. I’m not sure what the answer is really. I just wish they were 100% safe! I’d say don’t feel guilty for taking them. Nausea is debilitating and if they help it’s probably worth any tiny risks. Xx

@VenusStarr really sorry to hear your news and for the limbo you're in. I agree with what lots of people have said, I think mmc is much more common than the statistics say, probably due to scans before 12 weeks are much more available and miscarriage is detected before bleeding would have set in naturally. I really hope you get an answer either way soon and that you are back with positive news in the very near future

@frillyfarmer I'd take that as very low risk, a quick Google says risk of downs at age 25 is 1 in 1340 and at age 30 is 1 in 940 so your risk is very good. Congratulations!

@InDreamland what a beautiful scan! I hope it brings you some reassurance. Where are you off to on holiday? I'm also not aware of any risks of ultrasound scans to baby, I guess they were probably just trying to minimize your anxiety levels.

@sadtoday21 congratulations on your positive scan, I have been thinking about you due date buddy! What due date did they give you?

@rubyroot brilliant news about your nipt

@ChikiTiki good luck today for your scan, if it's just brown old blood hopefully it's just bubsy settling in and getting comfy

Sorry for people I have missed, I am reading all the posts but struggling to reply to everyone. As for me I have my dating scan at 13 weeks on Thursday and I think I must be feeling more anxious than I realise as I had two nightmares about it last night, one which involved me being told I would have to have a TFMR because baby had several legs (!) - I was completely shocked in this nightmare as all my previous scans have shown the normal two legs. Crazy what this anxiety can do to us isn't it?!

@Beaglemum93@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue. Wow you two really are deep into your pregnancy now.
@Beaglemum93 my 12 week scan is actually at 13 weeks and I'm 10 6 today. I only had my booking appt yesterday so that's the earliest they could do. Word of warning fur anyone who puts off booking appt like me!

@Frillyfarmer gosh that's extremely low risk, you really are trying to find things to worry about. I was 1 in 6000 with my little boy and was so happy with that. The nipt I had did not give numbers but as is much more accurate than NHS I guess that's fine.

@ChikiTIKI good luck for your scan today

@sadtoday21excellent news on your 12 week scan, are you able to rest a bit easier now?

My midwife was pretty clueless yesterday told me I wasn't entitled to a booking scan and I couldn't have the NHS screening as I'd already had a scan and screening and that would now be my dating scan. When I politely explained that was bullshit she rang up and got me a dating scan because she could see I was anxious. Turned out I was right and she was wrong after she spoke to someone.

I don't think I want screening as any high risk due to age will make me worry even though nipt says a lot different but I'm still interested in nuchal translucency measurement.

What did everyone else do in the same position?

Thanks for your kind thoughts everyone. It was good news at the scan. A little wriggly bean in there measuring 9 weeks. No pics offered unfortunately. Got to have something checked out to do with the cord and baby's abdominal wall at the next scan but apparently it's normal for the cord to be chunky and abdominal wall not fully closed at this point (they will be checking it's closed up on the next scan).

No news on why the bleeding happened but I feel a lot better today (still pregnancy sick etc) so I think I just overdid it with that walk the other day. Makes me feel like a bit of an old dear! Lol.

@ChikiTIKI that's great news, glad things are looking good after everything you've been through.

@rubyroot what does the nhs screening at 12wks cover vs the NIPT?

@ChikiTIKI lovely news

@Avocuddles it doesn't cover anything extra which is why I think I shouldn't bother, its also not really very accurate for us older ladies, I know many people over 35 who have had scares because of the fact they add age into the calculations. As a result they went on to have nipt and low risk result. Although at 39 mine was something like 1 in 6000.
I guess what I'm really interested in is nuchal measurement as this can be symptomatic of potential heart defects and other issues.

@strawberrye wishing you the best of luck for your dating scan on Thursday! I was so anxious before mine yesterday that I didn't sleep for a week! Baby was one day ahead (measuring 12 weeks instead of 11+6), so new EDD is 13 March. Your dreams sound completely normal to me! 12 week scan is particularly terrifying for some reason. Are you having the NHS combined test? Thinking of you!! Xxx

@Ginmonkey84 I totally understand what you mean about not wanting to post and just stay in a bubble. I felt I needed to take my mind off it for awhile and focus on other things too. Really hope your dating scan goes well tomorrow - we must also be due date buddies! I'm worried about waiting for those test results, how about you?

@Rubyroot that's rubbish about the scan, but at least you got it booked in the end. I think in your position I would have all the test they give me, even if you already have good results from the NIPT. Just rather check everything as much as possible. 10+6 is moving right along! I had my booking appointment at 7 weeks precisely just so I could make sure my dating scan was exactly at 12 - they fill up fast! Still feeling anxious though waiting for the test results and the anatomy scan does feel like a lifetime away.

Does anything really happen between 12 and 16 weeks? Trying to figure out how to take my mind off this next month and enjoy the pregnancy more than up to this point. Any thoughts?

@ChikiTIKI meant to add, really happy for you that all is well! Fx you have a smooth pregnancy from here on out. Xxx

Thanks @rubyroot @- just trying to be as informed as possible before my booking appointment!
I'm not quite 36 yet but already had my elderly status pointed out by the consultant in relation to it being another risk factor on top of my medical history. I think I'd definitely benefit from the extra reassurance of the NIPT as the stress of a potential false positive from the standard tests is something I could do without....

@sadtoday21 lots of people say the second trimester is perfect for a holiday - could you fit a break in or at least focus on planning something nice?

@sadtoday21 research shows that women with recurrent miscarriages and scan with heartbeat at 12 weeks have a 99.6 percent chance of pregnancy continuing. I think that's high enough for you to not worry. My next hurdle after my 13 week scan will be the anomaly scan.

@Avocuddles definitely definitely book with Emma ferriman on a Tuesday if you have the nipt test. She is amazing and will put your mind at rest before you even get the resukts. They took three days for me which was great too. Took on Tuesday 11 amy and resukts Friday 11 am

@VenusStarr Thinking of you, how are you doing? x

Congrats to all those who have had good scans.

I've got another scan in 2 days and the anxiety is creeping back in. This is about the time when my first pregnancy stopped developing so I still feel very much in the danger zone. I'm very nauseous but I feel like the nausea should be worse by now.

@TinyPaws I got a tiny tiny bit of nausea around week 8, but hardly noticeable, I didn't have sickness with previous successful pregnancy and neither did some of my friends.

I struggle to understand all the morning sickness stuff because I've never had it. I so feel exhausted and out of sorts tho.

Honestly, try not to overthink the nausea thing, not everyone gets it. Good luck for your scan