The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #3 🐧🐧The Penguin Huddle 🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

New thread as the last one is nearing the max number of posts.

This is a supportive and safe space for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread though and have suffered a loss and are anxious about your new pregnancy please feel free to join the huddle 🐧

So ladies, I hope you are all here for the long haul until our 🌈 are delivered (and beyond if you fancy sticking around).

Let's pull on our positive pants and nerves of steel.

I'll start the roll call of EDD from the last thread:
@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty- 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland- 39 - EDD 18/02/20
@Tinatsarina - 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer - 29 - EDD 29/02/20
@duvetcaterpillar - 34 - EDD 27/03/2020

Also tagging: @rubyroot @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @boboelephant @Yukka @Russkispy @VenusStarr @Beaglemum93 @Squiff70 @Navy123 @Bellasblankexpression

So sorry if I've missed anyone. I've tried to include as many as I could.

Thanks @rubyroot. Yes there's a yolk sac and now a foetal pole (no foetal pole last Thursday but there was a yolk). I didn't ask the measurements, just felt numb. The sonographer initially seemed positive and said my dates were probably off but I know for certain when I ovulated and got my bfp do she pulled a bit of a face then.

Dh did ask the nurse if it's possible this is a slow growth pregnancy but she wouldn't be drawn into a discussion about that. She said all I can say is there's progress and it's grown from last week.

I do have a tilted, bicornuate uterus and I have read online that it can make things difficult to see but when I asked about that she said that they had no issues seeing the baby, it's just very small for my dates 😢

It's my birthday today, so might have a small glass of wine.

Thanks for still having hope for me. Glad you had good news x

Thanks to everyone who's sent kind messages xx ❤️

@VenusStarr so sorry to hear that things aren't looking good and that you've had this sad experience on your birthday. I saw the same at 7 weeks with pregnancy number one and was like you sent away to come back for a scan over a week down the line as my cycles were irregular and i hadn't been ovulated testing that month, though knew I was unlikely to be any earlier along due to when I had tested positive vs when we had DTD. I miscarried naturally a couple of days later which shortened the agonising wait and meant that I wasn't classed as an MMC, though guess if I'd had more certainty on my dates that was technically what had happened. I hope that you don't have to wait too long for answers, it's an awful experience for anyone to go through and my heart goes out to you for having this a second time. I'm terrified that I'll get the same at my 7 week scan next week, but still crossing fingers that it might stick.

I think that glass of wine sounds like a very good idea - I hope and pray that you do get a positive outcome, but a glass won't do harm either way in the scheme of things. Please look after yourself, we're all here for you but hope you have support around you xx

@VenusStarr I'm sorry, seems you know your dates etc and if there yolk sac was there previously seems there'd be a heartbeat by now. I'm realky sorry, its so tough x

😢💔

@VenusStarr so sorry, I hope you don't have to wait too long for a definite answer .

@Jojowash welcome to the group.

@rubyroot good news about your results.

I had my 20 week scan today and everything is looking good so far, got the heart scan in a week and a half but all heart checks done today were fine. The sonographer was lovely, really understanding of my nerves and talked me through the scan, also let DH bring DD in at the end.

Awww thats good to hear @Bluebelltip. Must have been nerve wracking. Good luck for your heart scan

@VenusStarr unfortunately I previously have walked in your shoes like so many others on this thread. It's a horrible wait. I have to say I did have a wine as I came to terms with the fact things weren't as were expected. So awful this has happened on your birthday, if you do fancy a wine don't feel guilty.

@sadtoday21 Was your NIPT test go ok today?

@Bluebelltulip glad your scan went well and @rubyroot that's fantastic news re your NIPT results.

Had my first appointment with my consultant today, it was pretty much exactly the same as the one I had the first time round explaining that I have a very high clotting risk without blood thinning medication, so I'll need to keep that up for the duration (and beyond), as well as have a couple of extra growth scans in the third trimester, should I make it that far. Left with another months worth of enoxaparin injections (which I've thankfully got used to doing now) and I've also been put on aspirin. Feeling very nervous about scan and booking appointment next week at the same stage I lost number 1, it feels like I'm taking it an hour at a time at the moment.

@Jojowash congratulations and welcome! Hope this is your 🌈

@Avocuddles. How far will you be? 8 weeks. Is it an NHS scan?
For anyone delaying booking appointment. I delayed mine until 10 weeks 5 and now the earliest they can get me scanned is 13 weeks. I'm okay with that though. Although I'll be very nervous too!

@rubyroot same for me I've only recently scheduled my booking appt and my booking is 11+5 and scan is 12+6. I'm still happy with my decision to delay though.

@rubyroot it's a private one and I'll be 7 weeks by my calculations; I was told an NHS wouldn't be possible without bleeding which (touch wood) I haven't had so far. My booking appointment is the following day when I'll be 8 weeks by LMP, I never made it as far as the midwife last time round and I don't want to go along without knowing if the pregnancy is currently looking viable. If all looks ok I guess the next scan will be the 12 week one, I assume I would get an appointment for this through after seeing the midwife?

Are you going to thisismy? It's 50 quid if you fib and say you've had an NHS scan already

I've just got back from the hospital after having a load of brown blood while out at a BBQ. They don't do scans in the evening but have one booked for late tomorrow morning. It seems to have been a big rush and has stopped now. Just got little brown dots.

They dipped my wee and said they will send it for tests as it might be infected. I think they only sent it because it had little brown bits in it but that was the blood. The midwife said the bleeding could be caused by an infection and that it might be ok tomorrow. We will see.

We went straight to the hospital when I got all the brown blood because it was watery and with the one sided pain I wanted to rule out ectopic. They did an abdominal examination and didn't seem worried though. My nearly 2 year old had gone to bed 3 hours late and we left her kitty toy in the waiting room. Tomorrow morning will be a bit testing I think.

:(

@VenusStarr I'm so sorry you're going through this again and on your birthday too. I want to stay hopeful for you like rubyroot said but understand you won't be feeling the same. It's just awful news. Sending hugs!

@rubyroot great news on your results!

@Bluebelltulip lovely news about all being well with your scan.

@Jojowash congratulations on your BFP and welcome to the thread. Hope this is your rainbow.

@Avocuddles sounds like you're getting good care.

@ChikiTIKI sorry to hear you've had brown bleed/spotting. Fx it's nothing sinister and just little bean getting comfortable in there.

@ChikiTIKI that sounds so worrying. I hope it goes well tomorrow x

I've felt so crap all day today but I'm not going to go into detail just remind myself I'm thankful to still be pregnant (I hope)

I will ask if anyone has any tips for heartburn and indigestion though? I wasn't expecting it this early and gaviscon made me retch

Hope everyone is as well as can be expected xxx

Scan today was fine. Bubsy looked all good according to the sonographer and I was basically told not to get any more scans until the 20w NHS one as she thought I really don't need anymore and shouldn't have too many as not good for baby. No idea how true that is as I thought they're perfectly safe. I was told to try enjoy the pregnancy and not to stress. Got loads of piccies and 3 short video clips. I'm so relieved bubsy is still alive and seems to be okay. We saw him/her sucking their thumb and also swallowing amniotic fluid. So nice to see.

@rubyroot ah that's good to know! I've booked this one with window to the womb, its pretty close to my acupuncturist and I've got an appointment with her afterwards. I actually tried to book with this is my first but they don't offer online booking and by the time they got back to me after I left a message I'd already booked the other one!

@ChikiTIKI sorry to hear about your experience today. Hopefully all will be ok in spite of your scare.

@janey15 sorry you're feeling rough. Hope you get some good tips!

@InDreamland so glad that you had a lovely positive scan. Picture of bubsy is so cute! Do you have a date for your 20 week scan? Hope you have a good holiday, you deserve it x

@Indreamland there's no research that it's bad for baby as far as I know. I imagine they're just trying to get you to have fewer scans because you dont need them. But, hey.. If you feel you do then have one.
My successful pregnancy I had one at 8, then 10, then 12 then 16 then anomaly with NHS and second with private consuktant for peace of mind then another about 26 weeks and then a 3d and then a final one to check for blood flow for placenta ( I was very paranoid and by then I'd only had one mmc) I still really really enjoyed my pregnancy. Do what you've got to do x

@Avocuddles and later on if you want more reassurance re pregnancy you can pay an extra 20 for an appointment with Emma ferriman. She's an absolute gem, really really knows her stuff and puts you at ease. She told me at my ten week scan and nipt test that she expected a low risk result and it did make me feel a lot better. And ko and behold I got a low risk result.

@Avocuddles thank you. 20w scan isn't for another 4.5 weeks. That's a whole month! I wanted to book another scan for when I got back from hols but the sonographer put me off. I'll see how I feel when I'm back I guess. Will be 2 weeks wait for 20w scan when I get back. Have 16w midwife appointment day after I fly back but will be 18w by then. Hoping she'll use doppler as she did mention it at the booking appointment.

@rubyroot that's what I thought, NHS states it's perfectly safe. I think I'll see how I feel when I'm back after hols and if midwife uses doppler to hopefully hear HB.

@InDreamland I understand how 4.5 weeks feels like a lifetime away! I've only known about this pregnancy for three weeks so far but it feels like time has stood still since the bfp. I have a family holiday booked for when I'll be about 17 weeks pregnant (trip to the canaries to celebrate my mum's 60th) so imagine I'll book a private scan before then like you. I imagine the sonographer was just hoping that if you could go a bit longer between scans it might calm your anxieties a bit, though at the end of the day it's entirely up to you what you do and as others have said I don't think there's any medical reason not to!

@rubyroot thanks for sharing the details. I'm definitely considering the NIPT so will look into the options. I will get two extra nhs scans after 30 weeks so plenty of attention then as clotting disorders can potentially cause growth issues, though hopefully the risk is quite low in my situation. 7 to 12 weeks feels like a long time though, and then the thought of waiting a whole 8 weeks seems like an eternity. Need to get through the next week first though, I'm pretty paranoid at the moment and (tmi alert!) the fact I'm having lots of (clear) discharge isn't helping with my nerves each time I wipe...
I hope to be able to 'enjoy' pregnancy eventually, just think the first trimester will always be hard work when you've experienced one or more losses.

@Indreamland it's perfectly possible that the doppler will give you the reassurance that you need. My midwife used doppler at 16 week, she said she didn't normally but could see I was anxious so she did it. Hopefully the holidays will give you some much needed distraction and soon you'll be feeling those movements xx

Yes @Avocuddles I completely understand. It takes so bloody long and at 10. 5 weeks I've only just actually had the thought that it is a possibility that I could be having a baby in March. Though I'm still feeling cautious

The discharge is a good sign. Every time I have a pooh I get quite a gush. Think it's from the pushing. Tmi