The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #3 🐧🐧The Penguin Huddle 🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

New thread as the last one is nearing the max number of posts.

This is a supportive and safe space for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread though and have suffered a loss and are anxious about your new pregnancy please feel free to join the huddle 🐧

So ladies, I hope you are all here for the long haul until our 🌈 are delivered (and beyond if you fancy sticking around).

Let's pull on our positive pants and nerves of steel.

I'll start the roll call of EDD from the last thread:
@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty- 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland- 39 - EDD 18/02/20
@Tinatsarina - 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer - 29 - EDD 29/02/20
@duvetcaterpillar - 34 - EDD 27/03/2020

Also tagging: @rubyroot @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @boboelephant @Yukka @Russkispy @VenusStarr @Beaglemum93 @Squiff70 @Navy123 @Bellasblankexpression

So sorry if I've missed anyone. I've tried to include as many as I could.

@Flyfisherlady sorry your hospital made you feel that way. DD2 was stillborn and the hospital were really good, we were even given a sibling support pack with stories to help explain it to DD1, she has taken a hand puppet to bed tonight that's a character from a story in it. It's a shame that there isn't the same support for miscarriage and also what is available seems to vary so much. Your right it does effect the whole family but sometimes people just expect you to get over it but that's not the right thing to do at all, it needs to be talked about and recognised.

@Beaglemum93 I hope all is okay, I'm sure it will be.

My second pregnancy which was after a mmc was very stressful as i was very anxious. I went into hospital several times with both reduced and increased movements. I also invented a lot of problems in my head. Baby used to hiccup sometimes for nearly an hour and instead of accepting the midwives explanation that he would be a hiccupy baby I was convinced he had his cord wrapped around his neck. One termination and a miscarriage later if I get to 24 weeks like you, I imagine I'll be even worse! Despite being anxious the whole pregnancy I did still really love being pregnant though. Let us know how it goes, I'm sure it'll be fine, but they do say if concerned beat to get checked out. X

@Flyfisherlady I never got any fanny pads for after birth, but in the gynae ward where you go for miscarriages in my hospital there are fanny pads in the loos that you can steal.
I can't complain (too much) about the care I've received, apart from the twatty sonographer who said I still had 'retained products' because he did an external scan, rather than a fanny scan the care I have received has been good. That diagnosis led to quite a bit of mental anguish as I waited to miscarry naturally only to be told it was still there and then a week later having to have pessaries to expel the stuff that wasn't there!
But apart from that...
I understand there's not much aftercare in terms of counselling etc, but then I spose that's just the state of our NHS?

All seemed well last night, as soon as I got to the PAU he started kicking loads... the hospital's policy if you've been in twice with reduced movements is you get referred for a scan within 14 days but I have one next Thursday anyway so they'll likely just keep that one. I'm considering booking another private scan today because I'm really anxious and hope that might let me relax for a day or two... I'm on call for work today though so I have to wait til 11:30 to see if I'm being called in before I can book one.

Hope everyone is doing well

@Beaglemum93 glad all was ok. I hope you don't get called in today.

@Beaglemum93 of course I can see you are anxious, but there really is no need for another scan. You've listened to heartbeat and all is fine. I know the temptation to have another scan is great. I had a few with my successful pregnancy, but the relief from it only lasts a day or so and then you are back to square one. X

@Beaglemum93 so glad everything is ok and it's good to know that reassurance is available. I think I'm going to be over cautious throughout this pregnancy if we make it all the way...

Sorry I haven't replied to everyone, I've got the most hideous cold and looking at my phone screen is making me feel ill.

Any tips for dealing with it? I've been taking one paracetamol when I feel like I can't cope any longer but wondered if anyone has any other tips? I've sneezed so much my whole body aches

Hi everyone. Sorry I'm not keeping up very well!

@Beaglemum93 sorry you've had this anxiety. I find movements so worrying. If I'm busy all day it's really hard to feel baby boy but he is definitely more active and I feel him every day. I panic too when it's more subtle as he's been giving me some real whacks! It's all such a minefield if anxiety but I'm pleased you got checked. Always better to be safe and any good mat unit will never tell you off for that!

@Bluebelltulip boo to that child but more to the parents for not being there to pull them away! Your poor DD, hope you're giving her lots of cuddles even if the clingy ness is annoying! I think all you can do is reassure her, be there for her and lover her. It will all be ok xxx

I've just had my scan to check the heart which they couldn't see last week at 20 week scan. All ok and everything else looks good too! We are going to tell DD now (not sure she will be pleased!) and I've just bought some baby clothes! I'm sure the anxiety will creep back in but today I'm 21+2 and finally believe this might happen!

I hope everyone is else is ok. Always thinking of you all xxxx

Thank you @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue, been doing lots of cuddles and playing together. Congratulations on your scan, good luck telling DD.

I'm sure you're doing a fantastic job @Bluebelltulip. You are one hell of a strong lady and sound like a lovely mummy xxx

Hi ladies

So sorry I've not kept up past few days. Been really busy in a good way but also the anxiety has ramped up. It's been over 2 weeks since my last scan at 12+3 and I'm starting to worry things have gone wrong again. I'm supposed to be 15w tomorrow. Symptoms pretty much going. Nausea eased 3 days ago, boobs not achey anymore either although I still get tired but only when I've been super busy. I've not had any of those pulling stretching feelings either since Friday. I'm also convinced my belly is more soft squishy jiggly fat than solid little bump. We go on holiday in a week (Tuesday next week we fly) and I've not had time to book a pre holiday reassurance scan yet. Sorry for the selfish post.

@janey15 sorry you're feeling rough with a cold. Lots of rest, honey and lemon warm drinks and paracetamol are the best things for you. Hope you feel better soon. A cold whilst pregnant is rotten.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue great news on the scan and lovely picture.

@Bluebelltulip sorry you ended up having to tell DD before you were ready to. Sounds like though you have a beautiful family and are all so close.

@Beaglemum93 sorry you've had a scare with movements but glad that things are okay. This is such a worrying time isn't it.

Sorry to those I've missed. I'm not doing well with trying to keep up.

@Indreamland that's the joy of the second trimester. You're not supposed to have symptoms. Give it another two or three weeks and you'll start feeling movements, that'll give you the reassurance that bubs is still there

@rubyroot thanks but shouldn't I still get the round ligament pains if bubsy is growing? Surely I should be having something.

@InDreamland my symptoms definitely care and went. Some days the nausea would come back and finally fucked off at about 17 weeks for good! I haven't had any round ligament pain this pregnancy either. I bet your bump will literally pop from no where, one day you will wake up and it will be there! If you want a reassurance scan though, try Babybond/ultrasound direct city branch. They always seem to have slots. I am sure everything is fine but I understand the feeling and also booked a quick scan before my holiday a few weeks ago xxx

@Beaglemum93 glad everything is looking ok. If extra scans give you reassurance that's fine, though as others have said it's only a temporary fix so if you can resist it you might be better off spending your money on something that helps you feel more relaxed such as pregnancy massage or acupuncture. I can't really comment though as I've been a POAS addict since my BFP. Was naughty and bought yet another clearblue this morning, finally had a 3+ so that will definitely be it for testing how. I know that they're a marketing gimmick and not necessarily that accurate but it does make me feel slightly more relaxed having seen the 3+ as baby number one stopped developing at around 5 weeks so to know my levels have still been increasing over the past few days (I should now be 5 + 6) makes me feel slightly reassured, especially as I've got hardly any symptoms.

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue glad the scan went well and what a great picture!

Let us know how your DD reacts to the big news....

@InDreamland no need to apologise for sharing how you feel! I share your nervousness about your lack of symptoms but that's because it's early days for me still. Try to enjoy the calm of the 2nd trimester whilst it lasts; get that extra scan booked and then hopefully you might manage to relax a bit on your holidays, though I know it's easier said than done xx

@janey15 sorry you're feeling rough. Paracetamol is fine in pregnancy though, so there is no reason not to take the full dose. It also works so much more effectively if taken regularly - so every 4-6 hours, no more than 4 doses in 24 hours. If you get on top of it it really can make you feel so much better - taking 1 every now and then won't do much. Plus rest and lots of fluids of course!

@janey15 i drank lots of honey and lemon, halls soothers and paracetamol. I also used a bit of vicks vaporub on the balls of my feet (reflexologist mentioned, helps sinuses). Someone on here recommended the baby vaporub but fortunately I felt better before trying it. I did basically rest completely for two days as well. A good rarely sets me back but did this time. Hope you start to feel better soon x

@InDreamland there's no normal in pregnancy. So you're just not having ligament pain at the moment. You're lucky 👍

Glad your scan went well @MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue!

@InDreamland symptoms disappearing in the second trimester is completely normal and I've found that the ligament pains come and go.

Great news getting a 3+ @Avocuddles. I was a POAS addict too, I'm now a scan addict. I've booked one for this afternoon.

Sorry you've got a cold @janey15. I'd usually recommend steam inhalation for clearing your sinuses but if it's as warm where you are as it is here then it's probably not a great option. Make sure you drink plenty and rest if you can.

@Avocuddles that's reassuring about the clear blue test. , 👍

@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue THANK YOU!!!! I'll definitely book in for there, not far from where me and DH work,
it's kinda been the two of us so nice and convenient . A fraction of the price of the Loughton one I was going to try book at. Thanks for letting me know about your symptoms. It is a worry though. I've not got this far before so no idea what to expect. I do feel like I'm following you around the scan clinics.

@Avocuddles I totally get the POAS addict thing, I lost count of how many tests I took (multiple a day) in the run up to my first viability scan at 7w then a few more up to my second scan at 9w. After the first scan you'll become a scan addict. Good news about the 3w+ on the CB.

@rubyroot @Beaglemum93 thank you. I just am really worrying. Going to try book the scan for as close to holiday as possible, hopefully Friday this week so I know over the weekend. I thought the round ligament pain was something everyone got regularly.

How's everyone doing in the heat?

All good at the scan today, it was such a relief to see he's kicking away even when I can't feel him. Having an anterior placenta is not helping with the anxiety.

@InDreamland I normally cope so well with heat but today I felt like I was melting! Hope you're coping ok, I'm sure it's even warmer in the south than it is here!

@Beaglemum93 that was a quick scan!

I know! They had one slot left today so I booked it as soon as I knew I didn't have to work @rubyroot.

Fab news on the scan @Beaglemum93

I've just read this article. Thought I'd share here www.google.co.uk/url?sa=i&source=web&cd=&ved=2ahUKEwjmzeGHmqHkAhVSbFAKHdaMBY8QzPwBegQIARAC&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.theguardian.com%2Flifeandstyle%2F2016%2Fapr%2F23%2Fwhy-i-spent-2000-on-pregnancy-scans&psig=AOvVaw2I65iQ9xD-BR16zHvX8M8J&ust=1566931824932016