The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #3 🐧🐧The Penguin Huddle 🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

New thread as the last one is nearing the max number of posts.

This is a supportive and safe space for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread though and have suffered a loss and are anxious about your new pregnancy please feel free to join the huddle 🐧

So ladies, I hope you are all here for the long haul until our 🌈 are delivered (and beyond if you fancy sticking around).

Let's pull on our positive pants and nerves of steel.

I'll start the roll call of EDD from the last thread:
@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty- 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland- 39 - EDD 18/02/20
@Tinatsarina - 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer - 29 - EDD 29/02/20
@duvetcaterpillar - 34 - EDD 27/03/2020

Also tagging: @rubyroot @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @boboelephant @Yukka @Russkispy @VenusStarr @Beaglemum93 @Squiff70 @Navy123 @Bellasblankexpression

So sorry if I've missed anyone. I've tried to include as many as I could.

@Avocuddles Excellent, if you want to see a consultant then Emma ferriman does a day private there too, she works at fetal medicine unit in Sheffield unit usually. She only works Tuesdays tho and is away the week after next.

@InDreamland they can probably tell if boy or girl at 16 weeks but whether they will commit to tell you, I'm not sure. I said to our sonographer yesterday at 16 weeks straight away that we didn't want to know and she said you wouldn't say but I got the impression you would be able to know if she checked.

@Flyfisherlady I'm ashamed to say it took me me too long to get the Knicker Watch reference despite being an avid GoT fan 😂

@Avocuddles don't underestimate your feelings after one year. I remember feeling despair even back then.

@Navy123 glad you're feeling better now x

@InDreamland thanks for that info. I think I might look into that. I'm 'only' 34 but with all the trouble we've had it would be good have any reassurance we can get.

As for me, I've got a cold and feeling pretty sorry for myself. Also been feeling very sick on and off. Lots of retching but not been sick yet 🤢

@Lilimum7 so sorry to see your update, I really hoped this was your month! I can't imagine how frustrated you must be feeling - can you go back to rmc/get referred to another clinic?

@InDreamland good to know they will use lmp - didn't want to have to wait an extra week!

@Bluebelltulip that does sound like a difficult conversation - how annoying of that child! Obviously I know it's not their fault but still.

Away for the weekend now with family so hopefully they can help a bit with DS and give me and DH a bit of a break - he's been doing so much and being amazing, he's knackered so deserves it! Still feeling good even having only taken 1 cyclizine today, I think being able to eat has then helped calm everything down. Don't want to speak too soon though...

Hi everyone, tentatively joining as I am 4 weeks today. Clear blue read 2-3 weeks this morning so seems to be progressing okay for now. I had missed miscarriages in November 2018 and March 2019, both of which stopped developing at 8 weeks. Fingers crossed this time will be different, but also trying to be realists and not get our hopes up - it's so difficult to find the right balance!

P.S. I'm on the waiting list for recurrent miscarriage investigations, so going to call the gp surgery to try and see whether they can put me in touch with the midwife to see whether they can offer any additional support (e.g. extra reassurance scans).

With my last miscarriage they took away the remains for testing to see whether or not it was a chromosomal abnormality. I chased them on this a couple of weeks ago and they said they'd discuss the results with me at my initial recurrent miscarriage meeting, but I really wish I knew. I guess of its chromosomal it might be less likely to happen again?

Congratulations @Dimblebimble!

@InDreamland yes the private clinic I've used for previous scans will do gender scans from 16 weeks and it seemed a good mid way point between the two scans!

We didn't find out sex with our firstborn but I know that our NHS trust is very strict with the 20week anomaly scan not being a gender scan and they refused to tell my friend due to not being 100% because of baby's position.

Sorry to hear that @Lilimum7 I also wasn't here long first time round, but I was back fairly quickly. Hopefully you will be too, I'm sorry that our journeys aren't always smooth. Sending my thoughts to you.
Fingers crossed I'm here to stay for the full 40 weeks and fingers crossed you'll be back to stay too.

@Dimblebimble I guess with the chromosomal issue I spose it depends on your age. I don't think it is necessarily a good thing if it is chromosomal. For exampme, low progesterone is something you can treat fairly easily, chromosomal issues you can't really.

The majority of miscarriages are chromosomal and it can be linked to age. I've had three losses, one I know was chromosomal and two I firmly believe were. I'm now on pregnancy number 5 and hoping there's no chromosomal issues this time

But I'm old so if you're young and you've had a chromosomal issue I think it's more just one of those things. A chance meeting of the wrong egg and sperm. As you get older you have more faulty eggs and sperm

I'm 6+3 today which is the day I lost my last pregnancy so feeling a bit more anxious than usual! I woke up with really sharp stomach pains when I rolled over. I'm thinking it's digestive as I'm constipated again (tmi again sorry!) but it's so flipping worrying. Also my DH is working today and tonight again and I've spent so much time on my own this week I think I'm going a little crazy...

I also found myself cooking quorn 'chicken' dippers at 11pm last night because I was suddenly starving and the nausea had stopped...maybe that's why I'm in pain now?

@janey15 I've had loads of terrifying pains and I believe the baby is still there as though my boobs have deflated several times they are currently bigger than ever. I've had some pretty horrendous stitches and cramps so try not to let it worry you x

Thank you @rubyroot that is reassuring. The trouble is I connect this left side pain with the start of my miscarriage and it sends me into a panic even though it might have been nothing to do with it. When not pregnant I just assume it's endo and ibs

Hello ladies, sorry I’ve been a bit absent but getting to week 6 has made me feel a bit anxious as it’s when the first baby stopped and seems such a critical time for development. I’ve felt the need just to take a step back from MN and focus on other things.

I had my reassurance scan today and I’m pleased to say baby is measuring 6 plus 3 and I thought 6 plus 4 so pretty much bang on. The heart beat is normal and strong. It was very emotional seeing it as we didn’t see it first time round. Baby is double the size of our first baby got to so growing nicely. To say we’re relieved is an understatement. It’s obviously still early but all signs so far are looking good!

I hope you’re all doing ok and enjoying the weather! Xx

@Catconfusion congratulations! I'm so pleased for you xxx

@janey15 today is bound to be a hard day, pains can be caused by all sorts of things in pregnancy, how are you feeling now?

@Catconfusion great news on your scan that's a good way to start the weekend.

I'm currently trying to keep cool in the house, DD and DH are playing in the sandpit but I overheat really easily atm.

@janey15 I’m so sorry your tummy pains are triggering for you. It sounds like we’re pretty much at the same stage. I too lost my first pregnancy at 6 weeks but a mmc so we didn’t know until 10.

If it helps my stomach has been awful. I’ve had some sharp pains and an explosive stomach but got total reassurance it’s not the baby. The nurse said early pregnancy can be a very painful time for some ladies, especially those prone to IBS. She said just to keep hydrated and eat regular small meals. I hope it improves soon. I’m thinking the worry this week has probably made it worse for me. Xx

Thanks @Bluebelltulip I’m over the moon.

It’s beautiful isn’t it but so draining for pregnant people. I’m laying in a cooler part of the house! Xx

@Bluebelltulip thank you. I've still got a pain in my side but I'm trying to stay calm and look after myself. Just tried to sit in the garden with my book but came in because it's too hot despite being quite windy here. I definitely don't think it helps that I've got a cold and have felt sick for 3 days now.

Thanks @Catconfusion I think I just need to keep reminding myself that this is a different pregnancy and we've seen a heartbeat so the chances are getting better. I think the last one could have been a chemical if the cyclogest hadn't stopped me bleeding. It was so tiny on the scan at 6 weeks they didn't even measure it.

Bit of excitement - my dog has just almost caught next door's new cat in our garden! I haven't moved so fast in ages! Hopefully it won't come back in again and has learned its lesson!

@Dimblebimble welcome! Fingers crossed for an uneventful pregnancy.

@Catconfusion congratulations on such a good scan, hope you can start to relax and enjoy it now!

@Bluebelltulip I'm also struggling in the heat - luckily we are staying in my grandparents ancient house with thick walls so staying inside works well! I'd also highly recommend a paddling pool, sitting in the shade with my feet in it is the only way I got through this stage with DS.

Fantastic news on the positive scan @Catconfusion, so glad all is looking well. I'm one week behind you and have an early scan booked for 11 days time. I'm really hoping to make it that far, I can't imagine how amazing it would be to see a heartbeat.

@janey15 good on your dog - I'm not really a cat person as all our neighbours cats seem to do is leave 'presents' on our lawn....!

@janey15 I feel for you. Previous grief & losses make it so hard to be rational about things.

In the past week since finding out, I have convinced myself I was miscarrying at least twice. I also convinced myself I am having twins.

Meanwhile had smoked mackerel & strawberries for lunch. I’ve just vommed them all up, which was sooo horrible. Fishy smell bright pink vomit. Aren’t I delightful? Bet this shit never happened to Benj Stark!

Just did what I'd promised myself I wouldn't and used another clearblue digital. Even though I should be 5+3 it only showed 2-3 weeks (as I suspected it would) and am now feeling a bit anxious about it. Will probably buy some more in a couple of days and give it another go - why do we put ourselves through this?

@Avocuddles I think they're really unreliable and it could be only a matter of a day out. I've seen so many people asking similar things and been fine. Also I'm 6+ 3 by my lmp but scan measured 4 days behind so we know dating is all over the place at this point xxx