The Graduates of TTC after pregnancy loss thread #3 🐧🐧The Penguin Huddle 🐧🐧

[InDreamland]

New thread as the last one is nearing the max number of posts.

This is a supportive and safe space for ladies from the TTC after pregnancy loss thread who've had a BFP and now negotiating the scary rollercoaster world of pregnancy after loss.

If you weren't on the original thread though and have suffered a loss and are anxious about your new pregnancy please feel free to join the huddle 🐧

So ladies, I hope you are all here for the long haul until our 🌈 are delivered (and beyond if you fancy sticking around).

Let's pull on our positive pants and nerves of steel.

I'll start the roll call of EDD from the last thread:
@Melpops3638 - EDD 5/12/2019
@Beaglemum93 - 25 - EDD 22/12/19
@Amanda81 - 38 - EDD 27/12/19
@MyHeartIsBrokeButIHaveSomeGlue - 36 - EDD 3/01/20 but having an elective section so likely to be 27/12/19
@theAntsareMyFriends - 35 - EDD 04/02/2020
@Laney79 - 40 - EDD 6/1/2020 (but elective section so likely to be 30/12/19)
@Bluebelltulip - 29 - EDD 9/1/2020 likely induction 2 weeks earlier
@moonpeace - 37 - EDD 23/01/20
@KnitKitty- 31 - EDD 29/01/20
@Newbie21 - 38 - EDD 6/2/2020 (if c-section circa. 31/1/2020)
@Zznorth - 29 - EDD 17/02/20
@InDreamland- 39 - EDD 18/02/20
@Tinatsarina - 29 - EDD 26/02/20
@Frillyfarmer - 29 - EDD 29/02/20
@duvetcaterpillar - 34 - EDD 27/03/2020

Also tagging: @rubyroot @sadtoday21 @Catconfusion @boboelephant @Yukka @Russkispy @VenusStarr @Beaglemum93 @Squiff70 @Navy123 @Bellasblankexpression

So sorry if I've missed anyone. I've tried to include as many as I could.

Sorry everyone that I am so bad at keeping up with this thread!
Fantastic to read to many positive scans and tests. I’m currently 24 + 3 and seeing and feeling baby move all the time which is lovely and reassuring.
Absolutely exhausted though and nausea not gone, had blood tests and found out I’m very low in iron. Apparently a diet of chocolate and biscuits isn’t good for you...

Love to everyone xxx

Glad to hear you're getting on well @Melpops36. I'm not too far behind you, I'm 22 weeks today and I'm getting more and more regular kicks which is nice. I'm still really anxious though, I doubt that's ever going to go away.

Sorry about your previous losses @Pegase but congratulations on your BFP and hope you're here for the long haul!

@UnicornsandRainbows1 I've been doing the same thing with my belly! Haha!
I wasn't told I had an anterior placenta at my dating scan, but I had a scan on Monday with the consultant and she told me I have one, but that it's nice a high up.
Love your bump photo! I've put mine up for comparison... 5th pregnancy but 1st to get this far.

@Newbie21 Make sure you're getting plenty of rest when you're not working. I've been really enjoying having some energy back in the second trimester; it's been easier to get lots done recently.

@ChikiTiki I think others have covered the advice about the scans already... Midwife appointment comes first as that's when they book your first scan. You can request to be seen by EPU for early scans; however usually they only refer you if you're experiencing problems with your pregnancy (pain, bleeding...) or have a history of recurrent miscarriage or other reasons that have been specifically recommended that you're followed from early on. EPUs in different areas greatly differ on their policies and referral requirements though, so it's worth a try.
Otherwise, I would suggest going for an early private scan at 7 weeks and when you have the reassurance from that that things are going well, book your midwife appointment.

@Navy123 Sorry your nausea is so bad. Remember if you're throwing up a lot you need to see your GP or midwife in case you're getting dehydrated or missing out on nutrients. Stay strong. It won't last forever. x

@Pegase Welcome. Very sorry to hear about your losses. Pregnancy after loss is such a difficult time, especially in the first few weeks if you've had early losses previously. This place is really supportive so I hope it helps.

@Melpops36 Wow! 24 weeks!
Sorry you're still nauseated though. I'm glad they've discovered the low iron. Will treating that help with the nausea?

Hi everyone! Gorgeous bump photos @KnitKitty and @UnicornsandRainbows1....

Welcome @Pegase! I'm also 35 (though not far off 36 ) and I think my due date is April 22nd so we're almost due date twins! I don't have any children and had a miscarriage at 7 weeks in May. Hope we are both here for the duration!

Went to an friend's wedding yesterday, saw plenty of school friends that I hadn't caught up with for a number of years which was nice. I'd been a bit apprehensive about not drinking without getting caught but managed to do ok (I think...) by pretending to sip on Prosecco and red wine and surreptitiously swapping glasses with DH each time his got low! The only downside of this method is was that he has a bit of hangover this morning, it was a bit weird being stone cold sober when everyone else had been boozing for ten hours but I feel very smug this morning thinking how much everyone else is suffering!

Having to catch up again everyone. Lovely to see bump pictures.
My scans on Tuesday I should be 12+6 and I can feel the anxiety building. I'm terrified it's a MMC everyone keeps telling me it'll be fine as I've had no pain or bleeding but I'm guessing anyone who had a MMC never experienced symptoms like bleeding or pain before you found out? People have commented that I seem to have a small bump already but I'm not sure if that's a good indicator that all is well.

@UnicornsandRainbows1 lovely bump!

@Pegase welcome, sorry for your losses. I hope you have a stress free 9 months.

@Melpops36 sorry for the low iron, have they put you on tablets? Hope you start feeling better soon. Be careful if it's tablets though, the constipation alongside pregnancy can be epic! I speak from experience, it wasn't fun. Lots of water and fresh fruit if you can get it down.

@KnitKitty thanks, no actual vomiting (yet...) just all day and night nausea. Will mention to mw when I get round to booking in, not sure looking after DS is going to work well for me when I can't be upright for more than a couple of minutes. Lovely bump too!

@Avocuddles I remember the smug feeling the morning after my friends hen do when I was pg with DS - there are definitely some upsides to not drinking! I think your method for hiding not drinking is the best too, no one believes antibiotics or anything like that.

@tinatsarina I feel the same - nothing helpful to add, just solidarity. It is scary though isn't it. I guess I just am hanging on to the fact that mmcs are rare, and although we see a lot about it on here it doesn't make it more likely to happen, we are just more aware than others. Fingers crossed for you tomorrow.

God all the women on here are such heroes. Good luck all! I had a miscarriage at 10 weeks on 17th December It was a bit grim because for so reason no one gave me the misoprostol and I ended up miscarrying for almost 2 months. Thrilled to say, I’m pregnant again. Due April. Though unlike the last time which was my first pregnancy this one is full of doubt. Definitely doing all the early scans.

@tinatsarina I'm the same - I have my scan on Wednesday when I will be 12+4 and I'm absolutely shitting myself even though I had a great scan at 11weeks. I suppose I've taken a lot of comfort in the statistic regarding successful pregnancy percentage after having seen a heartbeat at X weeks. No advice just solidarity and good luck for Tuesday - I hope the first half of the week flies for both of us! X

@KnitKitty thanks for asking after me! I love your bump photo - how many weeks are you now? Do you have any scans coming up?

I broke down and got one at 9+5 - I just couldn't take anxiety surrounding that particular milestone, even though they discovered the mmc at the 12 week scan. All was well, but I still feel really anxious! Particularly as I approach the 12 week scan in two weeks. I am in complete solidarity with you @tinatsarina and @Frillyfarmer and wishing you the best for your upcoming dating scans this Tuesday and Wednesday! My dating scan will be at 11+6 a week from Friday.

I'm also terrified of another mmc @tinatsarina, even though I've also been told I have a small bump this time (which wasn't the case last time). I just never had any signs that anything was wrong at all before and now I feel dread at the thought of the 12 week milestone, even though the scans have been good so far. How are you coping with it? At least you don't have too much longer to wait now!! I'm really routing for you and hoping that all goes well and you see baby dancing around. Thinking of you Xxx.

@sadtoday21 @tinatsarina and @Frillyfarmer - totally with you regarding the scanxiety and terror about having a MMC. I have my next scan tomorrow and then dating scan will be 2.5 weeks after that, absolutely crapping myself. Keeping everything crossed for you all that we are all worrying ourselves over nothing and the scans will be perfect.

@Navy123 best of luck for your scan on Thursday too, hopefully the nausea is a promising sign. How far along are you now?

Gorgeous bumps @KnitKitty and @UnicornsandRainbows1

@sadtoday21 @Frillyfarmer @tinatsarina totally resonating with the scanxiety. I have my next one on Wednesday (8+5) and I am gradually working myself into a panic that it will be another MMC. Not helped by the fact that I have a horrible cold so can't tell if I can am still nauseous or if it's cold. Also my breasts feel less sore today. It's so horrible isn't it.

@KnitKitty @hayleyfx @UnicornsandRainbows1 lovely scan and bump pictures x

@Frillyfarmer good luck for your scan and you @strawberrye
I've had no scans yet as epu said I had to have bleeding, pain or two or more losses already before I could get an early scan. Haven't had the spare money for private either so this is my first scan. Haven't saw a heartbeat or anything yet so no idea what's going on in there!

I'm very cautiously dipping my toe in here on the recommendation of @VenusStarr
I've read through most of the thread and you all sound lovely and very supportive!
I'm 5+3 today after 4.5 yrs Ttc with a mc at 6 weeks in January. Last bfp was from iui but this one natural just before we were due to start ivf.
I'm feeling pretty terrified to be honest after some persistent cramping yesterday which is how my last mc started. Today I've mostly lounged in bed and just feel a kind of pressure or awareness of my lower abdomen.
My clinic scan isn't until 3rd September and not sure I can wait that long. I'm lurching between feeling hopeful and complete despair that it's going the same way as last time.
I'm going to ring clinic tomorrow but not sure if they'll offer an earlier scan or refer to epu? Hope they don't just tell me to wait and see 😫
I apologise in advance for being terrible with names!

Hi @janey15! I'm another one who conceived naturally just before I was about to go down the fertility treatment route. I hope you are here for the long term.

Cramping and aching are (from what I understand) perfectly normal - I'm 4+5 days today and have had it off and on since I found out I was pregnant 8 days ago.

Definitely worth talking to your clinic about your concerns but it might be a little too early to have a scan at the moment - you most likely wouldn't see a heartbeat yet which might in itself be stressful so would potentially be better to wait another week? Have you been offered an early scan on the NHS? As I have 'only' miscarried once I've been told I probably won't be eligible for one, though my GP has promised to ask the EPU nonetheless. If it's a no then I'll get one booked for around 7 weeks which be first week of September.

Just got back home after weekend away, DH was driving but still feel shattered after over five hours in the car. Gave in and used my final clearblue and was pleased to see progress to 2-3 weeks. That's it for testing for me now - they cost a fortune for a start! I feel very nervous about what the next couple of weeks make hold but trying to be as positive as possible.

@tinatsarina @Frillyfarmer @strawberrye @fnej01 good luck for your scans over the coming days z

@Flyfisherlady my MC was the same week as yours and I was 2 months along. I am also due in April this time.

Got a Dr appt tomorrow to ask for referral for antenatal care, feeling very nervous. Have you had any appointments yet? Xxx

Welcome to the thread @Flyfisherlady @janey15
Good luck everyone for the scans this week. You're very brave @tinatsarina! All the best of luck x

Thanks @Avocuddles and @rubyroot

I know some cramping is normal but yesterday it was quite sore and persisted for most of the day. It's also how my mc started before I'm hoping it could be because we were traveling? I had to stand and walk for ages through two airports, do a 2 hr flight and a 6 hr car journey so maybe it was too much?
I wish there was some way of knowing this early. I'm clutching at straws and desperate for some physical reassurance but know it's not possible.
I've been with the fertility clinic for a couple of years and done 6 rounds of iui so we get a viability scan but it's not until 7+4 which seems a bit late? I'm hoping they might see me at 6 weeks?
Wishing everyone the best of luck and loving the bump photos xxx

Welcome to the new people and good luck to those with scans this week, sorry not to tag everyone individually.

I'm feeling really tired today, been feeling quite a lot of movement today. My toddler is now home from IL's and I've lost count of how many times I've had to remind her to be careful of my tummy, thinking about telling her soon. 19+3 today consultant recommended bringing her to a scan soon to help her, losing her sister was quite hard for her to accept that there wasn't a baby coming home so I'm hesitant to put her through that again but I know I'm much more likely to be bringing a baby home than another stillbirth and don't want a new baby to be a shock either.

@Flyfisherlady @janey15 welcome and tentative congratulations to you both - we all understand the anxiety of pregnancy after loss here.

@janey15 it may well be that the cramps were worse if you had a difficult day. I had loads of cramping around 5 weeks and it was more pronounced if I had a long or tiring day. I can completely understand why your mind jumps to the worst, especially if this is how your miscarriage started, but I'll be hopeful for you that it is just your womb starting to stretch and respond to baby settling in.

I came across this pregnancy after loss affirmation and find it quite comforting to repeat to myself if I am feeling anxious or negative. It's maybe not everyone's thing but thought I'd share it with you all in case it brought someone some comfort x

Best of luck @janey15 and welcome to the grads. I was in a pretty different position to however I was waiting for my next cycle to start on clomid and it never came so... looks like a number of us were upping the treatment and then along comes the BFP. I had some days of more intense cramps when early pregnant. I even had spotting which I've never had before apart from an MC and all was well so I have my fingers crossed for you. After the spotting I had a scan at about 5w5d it showed gestational sac and yolk sac so didn't show heart best but I went back two weeks later and all was well. It's worth asking for a scan or hcg tests. It was the hcg tests which gave me most comfort at the 5 weeks stage. It is still early so the panic doesn't go but it does help a bit.

@KnitKitty and @UnicornsandRainbows1 your bumps are lovely. Love those photos. So glad you are showing too. I thought it was too early. I know mine is partly because I have put on weight since having DS so the new baby is pushing the fat up a bit but I started getting paranoid that I would have looked like this anyway if not pregnant as I never showed this early with DS1. Now I know that for some pregnancies this is normal, I can relax. I think I need to do some shopping!

Also, with second kids, you get a 16 week midwife appointment right? No one has contacted me about mine. I have my 20 week scan all booked - I got a letter about that about 3 weeks ago! But nothing about the 16 week appointment. Maybe I should follow up.

Thanks for the welcome and great to be nearly due date twins @Avocuddles !

Having an anxious afternoon. Always seem to start bleeding at 7 weeks so have 2.5 weeks of worry to go. As I had two mc, EPU said I could go for an early scan so will try to book in for that although EPU round here are unfortunately normally pretty ferocious at gatekeeping so whether or not they stick to that I don't know.

Does anyone else feel resentful that most people just get to celebrate a positive test without reservation?! I feel like I have a bit of a shadow of doom hanging over me!

Yes @Newbie21 you should get a 16 week appointment. In most areas you don't get a 25 week one and I think there is one about 30 weeks that gets dropped too. I'd give your midwife a call just to check.

I found out yesterday. So nothing booked yet. Will probably do it next week or week after. I’m so happy but this one isn’t the same as last, the joy has gone. Oh god I’m so sorry for being full of gloom! Until I see a scan with a heart beat, I won’t be able to relax

@strawberrye those are very powerful words and we should definitely be telling ourselves all of that. I have to say, I had hypnobirthing with DS and I never thought I was the type that would listen and take in that kind of stuff but it was the best decision. It definitely got me though my labour. The words below remind me of it. The idea of having mantras - sayings that you keep telling yourself to give you the confidence and strength to keep going. Highly recommend, appreciate its not for all.

@strawberrye thanks for sharing that affirmation, I'm going to save a copy to my phone to reflect on each time anxiety rears it's head.

@Flyfisherlady and @Pegase I completely understand what you mean about the joy having gone. My first milestone would be to make it longer than last time (7 weeks) and to see a heartbeat. I'm sure that then I'll be setting more milestones, but for now that's the one I'm aiming for.

@janey15 I hope the EPU offer to bring your scan forward - let us know how you get on x