Overweight or plus size and pregnant

[eskimod]

Hello! I'm starting a thread where us plus size girls can talk pregnancy!
I've noticed you rarely see a plus size bump etc.

My journey started 2 months ago. My OH and I have been busy working etc etc and realised we're nearly 30 (I'm 29 and he's 28). I have a few friends trying for a baby and struggling (not plus size, one older, one younger) so we got concerned that our weight and age would make things difficult (I'm 5"5, size 16 and 14 stone, BMI 33).

So, after years of telling everyone I didn't want kids, I wanted to get married first (we've been together 10 and a half years, getting married July 2020), were not ready yet etc... we decided to see how it went.

I started using apps and ovulation tests and we had sex st the right times but cycle 1 was not successful. I think I got a bit too obsessed.
Month two, I did the same but I was more relaxed about it. Then I got cramps and could feel my period coming, I was a bit gutted but tried not to get too down. BUT, AF didn't arrive... I took a test and it was a BFP!

I'm currently 5w4d by my calculations. Due 29th March 2020. I rang for an appointment and was given one for 29th August- I'll be 10 weeks by then! The lady on the self referral line said I need to take more folic acid because of my weight. I'm waiting for a prescription because you can only have it prescribed. I'm taking 4mg (rather than 5) and hoping this will be okay?!!

I've been reading online and can see there's some scare mongering for larger pregnant ladies bit I've also read that most plus sized women have healthy pregnancies.
Let's offer each other support and advise

[eskimod]

It's my booking appointment tomorrow and I'm super nervous! Scared of needles 😱💉

[smartcarnotsosmartdriver]

@eskimod you'll be grand. My midwife was excellent at taking blood and due to having a negative blood group I am resembling a pin cushion more every day. If you have any questions right them down, I'm really bad at forgetting.

[Lizzieee2727]

Every appointment I have, I have a loooong list of questions. My lovely midwife recommended the Baby Buddy app which has a section of things to ask so if I think of something, I just jot it down.

[Liverbird77]

@eskimod tell the midwife you're scared of needles. If they aren't confident they may ask someone else to do it...one sent me to phlebotomy!
Also, I have a fear just like you but by the end of the pregnancy I had got used to it. Big hug. You'll do great!

[catlady3]

Ladies, can I vent for a sec? Had my first consultant appointment today. Was told to give a urine sample and have blood pressure measured, and then the receptionist pointed behind her and said something along the lines of "all the way down there".

So I mumbled "wait there?" and nodded and went off to get the measurements (top tip btw, get a shewee, hospital toilets are the worst!!!).

Then I sat down in the back where she'd pointed and waited. And waited. And waited. For two hours. I figured I was among the last people to arrive so didn't think anything of it at first, but eventually, I was the only person left so went back to reception. She got quite cross and said I should have dropped off my book somewhere down a corridor, and that's why I hadn't been called.

I'm not British, but today I felt truly British. Absolutely mortified. I think the doc had probably already finished for lunch but she was still there so saw me. She ended up being very nice and calmed me down about the whole thing - I'd had a little cry in the waiting room, mostly self pity, and then rubbed some sunscreen in my eye which didn't help.

Anyway, other than me being potentially not fit to raise children based on this, it was a good appointment. She went over the blood results and all that, and said my only risk factors were BMI at booking (with an eye roll about NICE guidance) and being rhesus negative, but that otherwise, there was no reason to consider the pregnancy anything other than completely normal. That made me feel really happy and, for want of a better term, "seen". She didn't assume I HAD to be unhealthy just because I'm fat. That was nice.

Anyway, shared care for me so get to explore the community midwifery scene! Happy days.

Hope everyone's well and all appointments have been positive!

[eskimod]

Had my appointment. I was a pathetic state, cried etc. She was so lovely though. Didn't give me grief about my weight and said she wasn't really concerned because my bmi wasn't over 35. She was lovely about my needle phobia and suggested CBT to try to help me get over it. She tried to get blood but couldn't because of my thin veins! So I have to go to the hospital tomorrow to do it again because she didn't want to stress me out more. She said I'll go to the midwife lead maternity hospital as I don't have any other risk factors but I'll need the GD test because my dad has type two. Just got to do bloods again tomorrow so will probs be stressed and upset again 😞 she said they might get blood out of my hand if they can't get it out of my arm again 😣 My blood pressure was fine but my temp and heart rate was high which she put down to stress

[Kaiser1805]

I'm 39+6 and always felt like a bit of an outcast as a plus size girl who's also pregnant, comments like "you're huge" have really affected my confidence, I don't even like my partner seeing my body anymore, my whole pregnancy I've had "woah you're massive" and didn't really have anyone to talk to because all my friends are so slim! One of my closest friends has just gotten pregnant and spoke about how she thinks having a baby will be hard on her body because she's slimmer... as if as a bigger girl it will be easier for me? It hasn't been. Wish I'd have seen this thread sooner!

Don't let the comments get you down ladies! ❤️

[goodnightsugarpop]

@catlady3 I'm sure you're not the only one who's done things like that! I find the maternity unit totally confusing - there are so many different reception desks & waiting areas for different departments and both times I've been it's taken me ages to be in the right place. Also for my booking appointment I stupidly went to the toilet as soon as I arrived at the hospital and then had to swig water continuously through the appointment so I could pop out and pee in a cup 40 mins in....... midwife found it pretty funny

I'm so glad your consultant (and @eskimod's midwife!) didn't make you feel bad or like you must be unhealthy for being fat, that's how it should be! My MW was great too, just said "oh your BMI is a little bit high..." & then I told her I eat healthily and am active at work and cycle/walk/swim most days, and she said she doesn't see any reason I'd have a high risk pregnancy.

@eskimod I'm sorry getting blood taken was so difficult :( I had to have blood taken from the back of my hand cos my arm veins are pathetic, but the nurse was incredibly good at her job and it didn't hurt at all! I was shaking like a leaf haha.

@Kaiser1805 I'm so sorry people have made shitty comments to you :( and wow 39+6, your baby could be here any day now!!

[Kaiser1805]

I wish baby would make an appearance already!

I've had loads of comments about how massive I look and about how huge my baby will be and all sorts! Wish I'd have found something like this sooner!

[eskimod]

@Kaiser1805
Baby will be here very soon. I know it's hard but try to ignore the insensitive comments, as long as your baby is healthy, that's the main!
If you need us after the birth, we'll still be here 😊 good luck! Xx

[Kaiser1805]

That's really kind Thankyou so much!

I'm more worried about trying to loose the baby weight, I won't have the pregnancy to excuse my weight, and I know the comments "you look really pregnant still" won't be far behind! I usually wear a 14/16 depending on the shop, I like baggy clothes to hide myself so usually buy a 20/22 so I feel comfortable, obviously being pregnant I'm now wearing a 18-22 anything in between. Confidence has plummeted, I work in a nursery and constantly get comments from people, one lady told me she wasn't sure if I was pregnant or fat 🤦🏻‍♀️

so I'm feeling a lot of pressure to loose as much weight as quickly as possible so that I can feel comfortable again and not get such harsh comments!

Baby is extremely comfortable and is showing absolutely no sign of appearing any time soon 🙄 I'll let you all know when he decides to make his debut 😂❤️

[eskimod]

@Kaiser1805 I can't believe how rude some people can be! I wouldn't dream of making any kind of comment like that!!!
I'm similar, I'm a bout a 14 but always buy a 16 but sometimes could do with bigger because I have huge boobs! And they're only getting bigger 🙈 I'm worried about the baby weight and how I'll cope after! I'm suppose to get married 3/4 months after birth! I've warned my OH he might have a bigger bride!! 😬

Oh yes please keep us updated! X

[eskimod]

I went to the maternity hospital today to have my bloods taken again after an unsuccessful try yesterday. Again, was a crying mess but she didn't even attempt to take blood from my arms because of my rubbish veins. She asked if she could do it from the hand, I was so scared but she did it with no issues! It wasn't half as bad as I thought and now I feel incredibly proud of myself!! I hope I can do it again when I have my scan on the 18th sept!

[Kaiser1805]

Oh my gosh no way! I'm due to get married in 6 months too! That's why I feel so much pressure to loose the weight as quickly as possible! 😱 funny how similar people's situations can be lol!

Congrats on baby and on wedding!

Yeah I've always been a bigger breasted girl, Im so paranoid about my chest being too big and going saggy etc, something that's really bothered me 🤦🏻‍♀️

Getting impatient waiting for baby, tried walking and stairs and swimming and spicy food and sex and nothing is working 😩

[FirsttimerNI]

Hi ladies, I had 36 week midwife appointment today and all perfect with bump looking fine. So for anyone who is spending those early weeks wracked with worry and guilt (like I did- totally ruined it for myself) it is possible to have a perfectly healthy pregnancy with a booking BMI of 40! Keep the faith! Pic of my well behaved bump too 🤣

[smartcarnotsosmartdriver]

@FirsttimerNI your bump is so lovely! I already look about that size I think at 27 weeks but I think my support belt for PGP makes it look bigger 😩.
Really good to hear everything is good, when I came back from my booking in app I cried for most of the day. Felt like I'd been so selfish getting pregnant and opening the wee one up to all these extra risks.

[eskimod]

@Kaiser1805 thanks! The wedding had been planned for ages, we'll before we decided to get pregnant. I thought I'd be married before kids but heyyy ho. It's going to be hard to lose weight in that time but what will be, will be. I've always hated having such large boobs but my OH loves it 🙈 they bloody hurt at the moment though!!!!!

[eskimod]

@FirsttimerNI awww your bump is lovely!! You haven't got long left now! I did feel guilty at first but I've heard lots of positive stories and my midwife was so lovely the other day. Thanks for encouragement and love your picture. I can't wait until I start showing so I can share mine with you all! X

[eskimod]

@smartcarnotsosmartdriver
Aw that's so sad you were made to feel like that after your booking appointment! I hope you feel much better now. My experience was different, I was totally expecting to feel rubbish after it but I felt the opposite.
X

[CuriousC32]

Hello everyone - so glad to have seen this thread.

I am plus size and pregnant. I'm a size 24, and my BMI comes in extremely high at 53.4
I came off the pill with the thought that it would take months to get pregnant and would loose weight along side trying. I was pregnant within a month.

I am now 28 weeks pregnant. My midwife is lovely (I was expecting to be 'told off' for getting pregnant) and as expected I was told I was high risk of - pre eclampsia and diabetes.

I've not really put on any weight since being pregnant (sickness is still on going so my appetite is reduced particularly for sweet things) people who know me can see my baby bump but a lot of people still don't realise I'm pregnant. (Sometimes I get a little saddened by that) I want people to congratulate me.

So far I've passed by glucose test with flying colours and not showing any signs of pre-ecplamisa. I had my 28 week growth scan yesterday and the baby is within the normal measurements but very close to being 'too small' so I have to go back in 2 weeks and hopefully he's staying within the normal measurements. Consultant has been lovely.

I always assumed I'd be told to have a c-section because of my size. My midwife cleared that up and said no that's not the case if anything avoid it as I would take longer to heal from it.
My sister (who is the complete opposite to me size wise) is pushing me to ask for a c-section as she physically thinks I can't cope with labour.

What has anyone else been told about the type of birth they are going to have? Have C sections been recommended to anyone?
Even though my midwife is lovely it was me who told her I had to take aspirin (as I read up before hand) and she was like 'oh yeah' so that's why I do doubt everything she says!

[Absa]

Hi all, I'd like to join please!
I'm TTC #1 and am size 16/18 (sometimes 14 on top so basically am bottom heavy) , 15 stone and BMI of 35 which puts me just into the "severely obese" although from looking at me you wouldn't think it - I carry weight well.

Currently trying to get weight down a little - at least into the 14 stones before conceiving but also on cycle 3 so hoping it happens any time.

Like all of you I've done a lot of reading and getting annoyed with myself I didn't do something about weight a few years ago but hey ho, I'm here now and not going to delay pregnancy for weight loss.

@TheCatInAHat would you recommend going to a GP before getting pregnant to get the higher dose folic acid? I'm currently just taking Pregnacare so the standard 400mcg dose.

[FirsttimerNI]

No one ever told me about the higher dose folic acid. Seems some places are more on top of it than others. Although I did see my GP after positive test she just told me to take pregnacare and then referred me for booking appointment which I did have until I was 14 weeks. And at that appointment it wasn’t mentioned either!!! I had been taking folic acid for a full year prior to conceiving though, although we weren’t trying I wanted to be ready as knew we would try as soon as we got married. But from all the scans baby looks good so trying not to worry, will definitely get the higher dose next time though

[smartcarnotsosmartdriver]

@eskimod my midwife is lovely it wasn't that she made me feel bad she just has to go through the list of "extras" that come with having a high BMI and I started to freak out that there was going to be something wrong but my midwife has never been anything other than kind.

@CuriousC32 I've spoken to my midwife about some of the things that might lead to various delivery routes. Baby might measure big or small which might lead to induction. There's a higher risk of baby getting stuck which could potentially lead to an assisted birth or c-section but overall I'm not much more likely to have a section than anyone else, so long as baby is in a good position etc.

[Keyboard91]

@CuriousC32 I’m a size 22/24. I’ve been told I can have a vaginal delivery providing that baby is in the right place etc. I have been referred to the anesthetist as they like to meet and check they could put a spinal in if you may need/want an epidural, and may tell delivery suite to canulate as soon as they admit you, but that’s standard practice for BMI of 40+ here.

Ladies who are further on that me, does your bump feel firm like lower BMI women? Or will it always be more squishy?

Also, can they do a vaginal ultrasound if necessary at the dating scan? I’ve had 2 early scans (7 weeks due to spotting and 9 weeks was a private scan) and both have needed to be vaginal in order to literally see more than the sac so worried that they won’t see anything at dating scan abdominally when I’ll be 12+1 ish xx

[smartcarnotsosmartdriver]

@Keyboard91 I have a firm bump, there's still the squishy fat bit that I had before but the bump part is very firm. My whole belly wobbles when he kicks though which is quite funny.