Overweight or plus size and pregnant

[eskimod]

Hello! I'm starting a thread where us plus size girls can talk pregnancy!
I've noticed you rarely see a plus size bump etc.

My journey started 2 months ago. My OH and I have been busy working etc etc and realised we're nearly 30 (I'm 29 and he's 28). I have a few friends trying for a baby and struggling (not plus size, one older, one younger) so we got concerned that our weight and age would make things difficult (I'm 5"5, size 16 and 14 stone, BMI 33).

So, after years of telling everyone I didn't want kids, I wanted to get married first (we've been together 10 and a half years, getting married July 2020), were not ready yet etc... we decided to see how it went.

I started using apps and ovulation tests and we had sex st the right times but cycle 1 was not successful. I think I got a bit too obsessed.
Month two, I did the same but I was more relaxed about it. Then I got cramps and could feel my period coming, I was a bit gutted but tried not to get too down. BUT, AF didn't arrive... I took a test and it was a BFP!

I'm currently 5w4d by my calculations. Due 29th March 2020. I rang for an appointment and was given one for 29th August- I'll be 10 weeks by then! The lady on the self referral line said I need to take more folic acid because of my weight. I'm waiting for a prescription because you can only have it prescribed. I'm taking 4mg (rather than 5) and hoping this will be okay?!!

I've been reading online and can see there's some scare mongering for larger pregnant ladies bit I've also read that most plus sized women have healthy pregnancies.
Let's offer each other support and advise

[Cantrip]

@fluffybottom - please don’t let the info at the booking in appointment scare you. They HAVE to tell you all the worst case scenarios, but I promise that you women have been producing babies whilst overweight for thousands of years, most without the problems she mentioned.
I’d also say that, scary as all of those things sound, they are also all manageable - in my previous 4 pregnancies I WASN’T overweight, and had Gestational Diabetes with the 1st, pre-eclampsia with the second, combined spinal/epidurals during 2 sections and a catalogue of other pregnancy related issues. With this pregnancy I’m also 10 years older AND overweight so, I’m high risk for about 7 different reasons already!
Just take good care of yourself, let the doctors take good care of you, and chances are that all will run smoothly x

[fluffybottom]

@Cantrip thank you. I keep thinking that - the fittest person I know had GD and my friend had a post partum haemorrhage and she's definitely not overweight. I know all these things can happen anyway and that it can be managed. It was the way she reeled off this list to me as if it was all inevitable and then moved on without any discussion or reassurance.

[Cantrip]

@fluffybottom - my biggest pregnancy problem has always been my asthma (which is completely fine usually but, goes loopy when I’m pregnant) and the doctors ABSOLUTELY scared the crap out of me during my first pregnancy, with all the horrendous things that could happen to me and baby. Anyway, 4 pregnancies later - I was always fine, and I have kids who are completely fine too (number 2 arrived at 35 weeks but, again, was totally fine - no nicu or anything, she’s now a tough as old boots 13 year old!). Just think of a lot of the info given to you by midwives/doctors as a bit like the start of a flight - the flight attendants ALWAYS tell you what to do if a crash takes place, but that doesn’t mean it’s going to happen!

[fluffybottom]

@Cantrip thank you so much. You've made me feel so much better.

[VapeVamp12]

Hi everyone! Hope you're all doing well. I've got my 25 week midwife appointment this week but time seems to really be dragging now!

With regards to plus size maternity clothes I got some good jeans from a Mothercare and also a couple of pairs of trousers / jeans from H&M online. They don't seem to have much in store.

We had a 4D scan on Saturday at a little clinic near my house so we got to see babys face, it was amazing!

[Teddybear45]

Most conditions that can cause problems for anyone, tend to have a nastier impact the higher your BMI is. Especially if you conceived naturally because you might have other things (such as PCOS / thyroid issues / clotting disorders) that the NHS won’t automatically test you for but which can cause more problems if you’re overweight than not.

For example, women who are of normal weight are (according to my consultant) more likely to get GD that causes babies to be bigger. This by itself isn’t a huge problem even if it comes with PCOS because with monitoring a big baby can often be induced early. Overweight and obese women with PCOS are more likely to get GD with IUGR and preclampsia which produces small babies - that’s when there’s a problem. Similarly overweight and obese women are more likely to have DVTs etc when pregnant - but throw in a clotting disorder and it’s often really scary.

If you don’t have these conditions, eat healthily, exercise, and don’t gain much weight during pregnancy, then even as an overweight / obese woman you should be fine. The trick is often the NHS doesn’t even look for a problem unless you’ve had 1-3 miscarriages.

[McHelenz]

Just checking a place here.. currently due baby number 1 in January. Have a borderline BMI of 35 so have become consultant led with two growth scans. No pre existing conditions, just podgy.

Have been unwell until the last week or so with HG, currently taking regular cyclizine. Other than that.. pretty straightforward. Just anxiously waiting my 20 week scan.

[pinkpeoniesplease]

Does anyone know what the BMI cut off is? At what point do they consider you high risk?

[Teddybear45]

@pinkpeoniesplease - depends. If you have a condition that can be made worse by a high BMI then 25-30 could be too high. But if you’re otherwise healthy then it’s usually 35 that’s the point which makes you high risk.

BMI 30-35 is a grey area and depends on your area. In some it may prompt more midwife appointments but if you’re otherwise healthy, not necessarily more consultant appointments. In others you would be treated the same as if your BMI was 35.

[pinkpeoniesplease]

Oh I see, mine is just under 35 and I am otherwise healthy so hopefully it won't be an issue!

[CornishMaid1]

@pinkpeoniesplease I have my maternity notes that I get to carry around and there is a section on BMI. Where I am the warnings are for BMI over 30, but in stages so BMI 30-35 has a set of extra requirements, then 35-40 have extras and then more for 40+.

[McHelenz]

Stoke where I am put you consultant from 35. Others do anything from 30 to 40. I don't mind, looking forward to scans.

[catlady3]

Big wave at everyone, such a lovely positive thread! I'm walking on sunshine today because I'll be 12 weeks tomorrow AND had the first day in what seems like forever without any puking, not even nausea!! Join a gym yesterday and it feels like perfect timing, going to crush it at aqua zumba! Onwards and upwards ladies, we've got this!

[thecherryontop]

Hi everyone, hope it's ok to join. I'm currently 14 weeks and now that I have less nausea I'm hoping to join slimming world -does anyone have any experience? Just wondering if I need a letter from my midwife before I try to join X

[Cantrip]

Hi @thecherryontop - looks like Slimming World and pregnancy don’t necessarily go together x
www.slimmingworld.co.uk/health/policies/pregnancy.aspx

[thecherryontop]

Thanks @Cantrip -I thought they changed the method so you got an extra allowance dying pregnancy, I've contacted a local consultant so will see what they say.

[sprite25]

Hi all, I'm currently around 8 weeks and I've got my booking in appointment in the next couple of weeks and I'm dreading getting weighed and what I'm going to get told. I know I'm fat, and I've also put on quite a bit more weight since getting pregnant due to nausea. I'm taking cyclizine but if I don't constantly eat, the moment my stomach is empty I start feeling sick and retching (sorry tmi) and there's only certain things I can bare to eat. I had to have the GD test when pregnant with DS and it was horrible (I didn't have GD in the end just a 9lb baby) and I'm dreading having to do it again. Also dreading getting my big wobbly belly out for the scans and stuff, I know the sonographer has seen people of all shapes and sizes but I'm very much someone who likes to keep covered up

[Flyfisherlady]

What a horrible thread of ladies being made to feel scared & inadequate by fat phobic health professionals. How anyone could feel pressured enough during pregnancy to go to Slimming World is horrendous. Focus on eating healthily and fitness- neither of these things are related to body shape or body weight.

[CornishMaid1]

@thecherryontop I have not joined SW whilst pregnant, but you can (I believe it is the only group you actually can be a member of whilst pregnant).

It will work differently when you are pregnant though. You have to have approval from your midwife to join. I think they will weigh you, but they will not discuss you losing weight or setting weight loss goals - they will just be about encouraging you to eat healthily.

The reason they allow SW is that it is more based on having a healthy diet, focusing on fruit and veg, and you eat 'within your appetite' so as you need to eat more you can. You do get more 'healthy extras', such as milk and cheese for calcium, but I wasn't a pregnant member so didn't get the booklet to know what the difference is.

[fluffybottom]

@Flyfisherlady thankfully I think it was just my booking in midwife as the 3 midwives I saw at the hospital were wonderful. One was very surprised I was told to take aspirin so early on (the first one made a massive deal about it) and when she weighed me, made no comment (I was braced for another lecture about the dangers of a high bmi). She then took the time to have a 5 minute chat about announcing the pregnancy and how I was feeling. I came away feeling really positive.

[sprite25]

Has anyone found it difficult to know what to wear early on? I'm only about 9 weeks but already my normal clothes feel too tight yet its too early for maternity clothes

[LolaCoo85]

Hi Ladies, thanks so much for creating this! So helpful, to know what to expect when having a higher BMI.
I'm still early on at 6 weeks,so keeping all fingers crossed. feeling very nauseous unless I eat (trying to control and exercise).
Not got my first appointment for another 2-3 weeks, but booked myself an early/ viability scan with mothercare at 8weeks. Does any have any experience of early private scans?
I couldn't wait till 12 weeks as going on holiday at 9 weeks and want some reassurance before I tell my family I'm going with.
Thanks xx

[Lizzieee2727]

I'm 19 weeks now and was taking folic acid while we were trying, then started on the pregnacare tablets when I found out. At my booking appointment, the midwife suggested a 5mg dose of folic acid,low dose aspirin and also vitamin D. I'm also a size 20 and definitely growing... My appetite was crap in the first trimester and still now I csnt eat big evening meals, that said at least it doesn't just look like I've pigged out at a buffet. I am quite nervous about the pregnancy but have our next scan on Friday and cannot wait!

[catlady3]

Flybottom snap, my booking in midwife (a man - does that make him a midhusband?) was a right arse as well. Just assumed I don't exercise and put me down for diabetes when I just don't have it, as the blood test showed... He also put a bunch of stuff in my book and ticked boxes when we never discussed things, so now having to make a fuss next time I see the proper midwife. And quite rude as well. Maybe they make the crap ones do booking so you don't have to deal with them on a regular basis? Glad your midwife now is nice!

[smartcarnotsosmartdriver]

Hi everyone, glad I found this! I'm 26 weeks with what will be our first baby. I came in at a panic station inducting BMI of 41 at booking in although my scales did not agree but no point in arguing.
I was given 5mg of folic acid but no longer need to take that according to midwife and I have been taking low dose aspirin since 12 weeks. I haven't weighed myself since as I just don't want to know.
There hasn't been much discussion around where I'll give birth but from my own research it appears I will be in hospital in the labour ward rather than the birthing centre. I would have liked a water birth but whatever is best for us both is fine by me.
I have growth scans starting in 2 weeks but I am quietly confident that he's getting on fine. I can feel plenty of kicks, they're getting stronger and further apart for I've interpreted that as he's getting longer.
I'm so sorry that so many of you have had such poor experiences, a few years ago I had a MC and it just so happened that I had a meeting with a consultant from fertility a few weeks after so I picked myself up and I went and he was an absolute arse. I was young at the time so I didn't call him out. I wish I had.