Overweight or plus size and pregnant

[eskimod]

Hello! I'm starting a thread where us plus size girls can talk pregnancy!
I've noticed you rarely see a plus size bump etc.

My journey started 2 months ago. My OH and I have been busy working etc etc and realised we're nearly 30 (I'm 29 and he's 28). I have a few friends trying for a baby and struggling (not plus size, one older, one younger) so we got concerned that our weight and age would make things difficult (I'm 5"5, size 16 and 14 stone, BMI 33).

So, after years of telling everyone I didn't want kids, I wanted to get married first (we've been together 10 and a half years, getting married July 2020), were not ready yet etc... we decided to see how it went.

I started using apps and ovulation tests and we had sex st the right times but cycle 1 was not successful. I think I got a bit too obsessed.
Month two, I did the same but I was more relaxed about it. Then I got cramps and could feel my period coming, I was a bit gutted but tried not to get too down. BUT, AF didn't arrive... I took a test and it was a BFP!

I'm currently 5w4d by my calculations. Due 29th March 2020. I rang for an appointment and was given one for 29th August- I'll be 10 weeks by then! The lady on the self referral line said I need to take more folic acid because of my weight. I'm waiting for a prescription because you can only have it prescribed. I'm taking 4mg (rather than 5) and hoping this will be okay?!!

I've been reading online and can see there's some scare mongering for larger pregnant ladies bit I've also read that most plus sized women have healthy pregnancies.
Let's offer each other support and advise

[anon812]

BMI can be misleading- from your height and weight I wouldn't say you're obese, but well done for only putting on 4lbs at 20 weeks. I'm 19 weeks and gained 8lbs so far, although started at 8stone 10lbs at 5ft7. Scary thing watching the scales going up.

[goodnightsugarpop]

@eskimod thank you so much for starting this thread. I'm the same size/weight as you & I think 5 weeks pregnant today. It's such early days and I'm already sick of all the scaremongering websites and unsolicited shaming 'advice'..... already argued with some family members months ago because I said I was thinking about TTC and they started having a go at me about gestational diabetes!

In terms of eating well & getting a good amount of exercise I'm probably the healthiest I've been in years - it's frustrating that some people just think "well your BMI is over 30 so you must be totally unhealthy and all these terrible things are going to happen to you and your baby" ugh.

Much love to all the gorgeous big pregnant ladies ❤

[WeAreTheFighters]

30 weeks pregnant, around 19 stone BMI was 42 at the start. I was pretty worried but all smooth sailing so far. Didn't put on any weight until about 25 weeks. I've gained about 4lb. Guess this means I am losing weight. I've been eating healthy, but no exercise as I have severe pgp and can barely walk now. Baby is looking all good. This past 3 weeks my bump has finally become prominent. Before that I just looked rather round :)
Borderline on my recent GD screening test, so I'm cutting back on refined carbs now.

[eskimod]

@goodnightsugarpop welcome! Thanks for your comment.

I'm sorry you had to deal with that from family members. Non of my family and friends know, we didn't tell them we were TTC and not telling anyone I'm pregnant.

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Keep us updated! X

[eskimod]

@WeAreTheFighters welcome!

Sorry about your pgp. My sister has that at the moment and it doesn't look nice! (She's about 30 weeks too)

I'm at risk of GD I think because my dad has type 2. Hopefully my healthy eating will reduce the risk!

Keep us updated on how the gist stage of your pregnancy goes! X

[MegaMonsterMunch]

Just popping in to say Hello. I'm a big woman, 20 stone, not going to skirt around that issue...

I'm also 39 weeks pregnant and due for a c section on Monday.

My pregnancy has been fine to be honest, last few weeks not so much, but that's mainly due to sciatica and heat and not a pregnancy thing as such. Baby has always been happy and healthy.

Make sure you're as comfortable as can be.

NHS have been wonderful. They've never made me feel bad about my weight which I'm grateful for. I have been consultant led which has been fine.

I wish you all lots of luck.

[moonlight1705]

My DD is now 5 months old but I had a BMI of 44 so am really obese. It did not really affect me at all except for the choices about where to give birth however I have a thyroid problem and a couple of other bits which meant I was always going to be in hospital.

I actually only put on 4lb over the whole pregnancy and as soon as DD was born lost 2 stone so its been the best diet I've ever had.

I would, if we go for a second, like to be under a BMI of 35 as that is where a lot of intervention tends to happen.

[catlady3]

Hiya, same boat here!

I've read quite a lot about this, I'm a researcher in a health-adjacent field and also fat & pregnant, so it's of interest. There are two things I would say. First, pregnancy is not the time to diet. The risk to your baby is much much greater if it is born too small than if it is born a little bit bigger.

The second is, you can't change the fact that you are fat now, and there is no evidence that losing weight DURING pregnancy improves outcomes for your baby. But what you CAN do is make some lifestyle changes, if you feel this might be right for you.

A lot of the risk comes from elevated blood glucose (doesn't have to be diabetes), so one strategy is to eat in a way that avoids the sugar-driven ups and downs. Basically, moderately low carb, focussing on whole foods, lots of varied protein and good fats etc. Plus exercise, just walking is excellent.

So I think from a data point of view, BMI isn't the main thing to look at here, look at the things that you can control and that gives you a really good chance of making a difference for your baby.

If you're interested in this, a good book to read is Expecting Better by Emily Oster and Real Food for Pregnancy by Lily Nichols.

[eskimod]

@catlady3 yes! That's what I've started doing, eating better, having more veg instead of carbs and I'm trying to walk more. I got my higher dose of folic acid today too. Thanks for the advice.

[eskimod]

@MegaMonsterMunch @moonlight1705
Hello! Thanks for sharing your experiences. I'm feeling so much better now I've spoken to people who have been or are in similar situations. I'm only about 6 weeks so still early days for me. I'm hoping not to put too much weight on by eating healthy!

Keep us updated! 😊

[WombatStewForTea]

Waves!
Can I join in. I'm 13 weeks with my first. My midwife (who I've not taken to anyway!) was quite firm about my weight potentially being an issue (5'7 and 14 stone, BMI is 30). I don't look particularly obese but obviously look like I could lose a bit but I've always been this way. I've been told I'll need testing for gestational diabetes and I've just been put on aspirin because of this and another medical condition I've got. I feel awful and that I should have made more of an effort to lose weight before TTC. Can't even talk to DH about it as I've never let him know how much a weight (years ago he made a throwaway comment about not wanting to date someone who weighs more than him....and I do!) and I'm trying to avoid letting him know now.

[eskimod]

@WombatStewForTea
Welcome!
I'm sorry your midwife made you feel like that 😞 I'm hoping mine doesn't make me feel rubbish when I see her In a few weeks. I'm the same really, I don't feel huge but know i am bigger than I should be. I also felt guilty for not losing weight before TTC.
Try to talk to your other half about it, mine is very supportive and is helping to make healthy meals etc . He married you so won't be put off by your weight.
Have you had your first scan yet? X

[WombatStewForTea]

Thanks @eskimod
She doesn't seem particularly nice generally so I'm hoping the community midwives will be nicer! Yes I had a couple of private scans at 7weeks and 9weeks because of a previous miscarriage and then had my dating scan at just shy of 12 weeks and everything was fine.
I hope your appointment comes around quickly!
I really don't want to tell DH and TBH we eat healthily generally anyway I'm just going to try and be a bit more active. Unfortunately off on holiday next week so will try to be extra good but I'm sure not drinking will help avoid the usual holiday weight

[BonAccordSpur]

Love your thread @eskimod..congratulations

[Corrina89]

Morning thankyou for making this post I feel like I’m on my own ..
Baby no3 I’m obviously overweight as my bmi was 35. I do ridiculous amount of walking ..but never lost the weight I only fount out at 14 weeks I was pregnant had no symptoms etc apart from tiredness put that down as being a mum
Had my consultant appt Tuesday he has put me in for a early gtt Tuesday I clearly no it’s going to come back positive and to be told I will be induced at 38 weeks due date is 13th jan ..
I’m pretty upset about this as it will be the last baby .. wanted to go naturally
I can’t say I over eat or anything I am highly active but it’s the way I am ..
with my 2nd same thing was induced and diabetes etc he came out perfectly 7lb 12oz
I get 3 extra scans near to the time ..
I’ve been told to take pregnancycare throughout
Same with you we haven’t told family yet as we find out the sex in 3 weeks it’s not really sunk in
Good luck in all your pregnancy’s x

[eskimod]

@Corrina89 awww you don't need to feel alone, please come and rant to us if you're feeling sad. I know it's rubbish for you but just try to continue being healthy and you'll be fine 😊 wow that's late to find out, I wish I had found out later now, the wait is killing me as I'm so impatient. Keep us updated with everything! X

[eskimod]

@WombatStewForTea enjoy your holiday! I'm going to a music festival in Devon and then going to Cornwall after, can't wait! But it was all sorted before I found out I was pregnant, it will be weird going to a festival and not drinking! I just hope I can hide it from my aunty who will also be there!

I'm considering getting a private scan just for reassurance.

[eskimod]

@BonAccordSpur thanks! Are you expecting? X

[Iilana]

Hi all thanks for this thread,

Hope you don't mind me joining in.
I'm 23 weeks pregnant and plus size I also have Ehlers Danlos syndrome so i have extra scans and have to see consultant after each one. My midwife is lovely but the consultant at the hospital is definitely lacking in interpersonal skills and bedside manner and loves to scaremonger, she seeks sceptical that I walk as much as I do, her appointments also make me feel low and ashamed and feel like they suck away some of the joy I should feel about being pregnant. Luckily everything is going smoothly. I was loosing weight before we were ttc slowly (due to.EDS I can't do high impact, running or team impact sports) so it was just diet and walking/swimming.
I'm due November 29th so would be great to have a due date buddy.
All my friends have either had their kids much younger and are done or don't want them at all, so would be great to have someone in same boat.

[eskimod]

@Iilana I'm so sorry your consultant makes you feel like that. I'm starting to get my self geared up for people with bad attitudes towards my weight. Although I appreciate some concerns, there's no need to be rude and make women feel crap about themselves when they're probably already feeling rubbish! X

[Iilana]

@eskimod thank you,I understand the concerns. But I don't appreciate the tone and the way it's hammered in at every appointment,I got a bit snappy last time saying yes I understand we have covered this previously several times, I have been advised not to lose or gain weight while pregnant so as it's staying the same it feels futile to keep bringing this up.
She is stunningly beautiful and very slim as well, but she speaks to me in such a hateful condescending way I can't stand her.
Whereas my midwife is like your bp is good, your bloods are good, your cholesterol is only 3.5 and is really reassuring and lovely.

[BonAccordSpur]

@Eskimod -no not preg but couldve really done with the support as a size18 preggers,a long way from home.Comments from Drs at exams-incredulous as i had no strechmarks&calling another doctor in to witness it,always with the negative vibs every check up-not the best experience😨..took the piss!

[eskimod]

@BonAccordSpur @Iilana
I'm can't believe some people can be so horrid! Unprofessional and just plain mean. Mention the concerns, make sure we're aware of the risks but don't keep going on about it! I most certainly will snap at them if they're like that with me!
Feel free to rant here if they annoy to anymore! X

[MrsC89]

Hi, love this thread!
I'm 30 size 22 currently 10 weeks with my first child. Assumed it would take a while to fall pregnant because of weight, but second cycle got my BFP.
Went and saw the GP early on and she never mentioned taking extra folic acid, when I said I was on pregnacare and had been on the conception one for 3 months prior.
Had my booking appointment with my midwife and she said I will need to be on aspirin from 12 weeks and I will need to be tested for gestational diabetes.
Consultant led because of my BMI, not surprised about that.
Sorry about the long post!

[eskimod]

@MrsC89 congratulations on the BFP! Same as me, I got lucky the second cycle too. I'm surprised they didn't mention folic acid, it was the first this I was told when they took my weight and height. Made me feel crap and worried! I'm guessing they'll put me in aspirin as I've heard so many girls are given it...

I'm really tired today, just lazing around and falling asleep! Thank goodness it's the summer hols and I'm not at school!