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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

petrified about giving birth..1 week to go.....

56 replies

bumbly · 17/07/2007 13:15

have always been so

ever since a little kid..so much so it put me off ever being pregnant..but here i am with one week to go

and now even more scared after seeing the NCT Happy Birth Day DVD that came with recent magazine

anyone seen it??

it was awful and those are meant to be straight forward births...how can a woman be put through so much pain in this day anD age baffles me...

i don't want to go through labour!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

Desiderata · 17/07/2007 13:18

I would love to make you feel better ... but since it hurts like hell, I guess there's nothing to be done

You'll be fine, bumbly. Just think of the end result, and remember to breeaaaath!

reikizen · 17/07/2007 13:20

Ahh bless you! I would recommend a natal hypnotherapy CD if you are able to get hold of one quick enough as your brain needs to be re-programmed about the pain. If you are really worried speak to your mw about pain relief as an epidural can be sorted out if you are truly terrified. On the other hand I had my first with an epidural and second with a couple of paracetamol and a puff of entonox and I preferred the second one tbh! I think the only thing I can say is that it is unlike any previous experience in your life, and there are different types of pain.

Original poster

bumbly · 17/07/2007 13:20

why does it have to hurt??

..i mean people with sprains get put on drugs..so what is this whole thing in the uk anti-epidural for labour??

i simply don't understand!

OP posts:

Flibbertyjibbet · 17/07/2007 13:20

The only help I can give is to say that its going to happen, and that when it does start, you just sort of get on with it, its not like you can run off and decide to do it another day.
If it really was so terrible then no one would ever have another child, my two are the proof that you do get through it, over it and volunteer for a repeat performance!

honeyapple · 17/07/2007 13:21

If you are really worried about the pain, opt for an epidural... you will feel nothing...until after the birth when you will be a bit sore! I guess the NCT dvd was of someone not using much pain relief. I had an epidural for my first labour, but just used gas and air the 2nd time around.

Good luck, it will be fine.

FLIER · 17/07/2007 13:25

if you think negatively of it you will get more and more worried. If it was that bad, not so many people would do it. Honestly, its all worth it and a short while after you really will have no concept of the pain you are in for a very short while.
Hypnotherapt is a good idea and remember we all get scared of the unknown.
Keep thinking of the end result, a lovely baby-thats what I remember after my first, just lying staring at my newborn feeling so proud of myself for getting through it with just gas and air.

have you been to any antenatal classes?

maisym · 17/07/2007 13:27

do you have a birth plan?

have you spoken about your worries to your m/w?

once labour starts you'll get on with it and be really proud afterwards. If you need pain relief have it.

lulumama · 17/07/2007 13:29

will be back later......but try to imagine it as a journey, and you get the best present at the end, no matter how long and ardous the journey, it is worth it !

Kathyis6incheshigh · 17/07/2007 13:29

You'll be fine. If you really can't cope you can ask for an epidural, but you will probably be surprised by how well you handle it.

I'm not convinced watching videos is very helpful tbh - I can see how they might make you more worried rather than less!

runawayquickly · 17/07/2007 13:30

I felt really scared too and it did hurt, but all the time I knew it was going to end soon. It really was the most amazing thing that had happened to me and it just took away the pain straight away when I looked at ds. That sounds so sugary and believe me, I'm not the sugary type. I looked back and wondered why I was so petrified. Your body is an amazing thing - you can do it! Let us know how you get on...

chipkid · 17/07/2007 13:31

I was scared too. Epidurals are there if the pain becomes too much to bear.
I had one and really enjoyed the birth experience.
Try to concentrate on the fact that you will finally meet your baby-it doesn't get more exciting than that really.

saffymum · 17/07/2007 13:33

Just remember its not the constant pain of an injury, it comes in waves and reaches a point then dies down again. It is manageable and millions of women do it every day. Just stay calm, make sure you have all the things around you that you need and focus on it. Good luck.

allgonebellyup · 17/07/2007 13:41

yes agree with the last post, its NOT a constant pain like when you break a leg, it does come and go in strong waves, and i remember actually feeling such relief (well, pleasure!) every time a contraction went away.

Also once you have given birth, the relief and happiness is indescribable (sp?).
i remember after hours and hours of pushing 10lb ds out of my little 8 stone body, i just kept saying "ive done it, ive done it, ive done it!" obsessively!!!

Was v proud of myself, also after having dd at age of 19 in 35mins after arriving at hosp!!
you do feel a sense of elation afterwards, and remember its all natural and its meant to happen.

meandmy · 17/07/2007 13:45

remember lots slow breathes, and gas and air is fab stuff once its in your system!
i reccomend waterbirth, absolutley fab i was falling asleep in labour in pool with just g&a and i had 8lb 5oz baby

filchthemildmanneredjanitor · 17/07/2007 13:47

if you don't have an epidural, you will be in pain but you will be in control. you will be able to move about, do what feels right for you, be in charge of yourself.

if you have an epidural everything is controlled. you have a catheter put in and are constantly monitored. you may have side effects from it . that's why people don't automatically have them.

think of it as productive pain-yes it hurts, but each pain brings you closer to meeting your baby!

and you know what-it's not that bad for everyone. not everyone does 36 hours of screaming agony that you see on tv!!!!

the more tense you are the worse it will be so concentrate on relaxing as much you can. and once your baby is born, the pain stops! and you forget about it!

jangly · 17/07/2007 13:48

Look, it doesn't have to hurt that much if you can just get yourself to relax. Try to get away from each contraction by putting your head on one side and whispering the words of your favourite pop song. That will help to occupy your brain and you won't focus on the pain so much. Well, it worked for me.
And look how far down the baby's head is now! It doesn't have to travel far for goodness sake! If you can manage to keep calm you will be fine.

And you will soon want to do it again.

NKd1167739100921 · 17/07/2007 14:00

I understand how you feel as I had a huge phobia of childbirth that took time to overcome and I was very afraid of giving birth. I think some of the fear also comes from not knowing how it will unfold and my biggest fear was having a caesarean. I found it helpful to talk to friends who had caesareans as the more knowledge I had the better prepared I felt. In the end I had to be induced and had a ventouse delivery but it was better than I had imagined.
I am sure you will be fine and I would recommend either a birth tape (I used the Gowri Motha and it sent me to sleep in the afternoons or if I couldn't sleep at night) and some homeopathic remedies can help with fear.
It might also be worth phoning the midwives to make sure they know how you feel.

Original poster

bumbly · 17/07/2007 14:44

stil worried.......

OP posts:

Crocky · 17/07/2007 14:51

I was a real wimp before having kids. Would faint at the sight of blood or needles, felt like I was dying if I had a cold or headache.
I have now had two children and if I could get dh to agree I would have another.

I had one long labour that extremely tiring and one very short labour that was very intense.

I came through both of them thinking that my body is absolutely amazing. Yes they hurt but I got through them both without needing anything more than tens and gas and air.

You will get through this. There is pain relief available. Just focus on the end result.

Moorhen · 17/07/2007 14:58

Bumbly, I am three days overdue and although Im terrified (MAJOR childbirth phobia here too) I am also absolutely desperate to get started, get it over with and meet my baby! I think its Nature`s way of getting us through...

Seriously, am also thinking epidural and will not feel ashamed if thats what I do choose. Sending sympathy and heres hoping we can swap stories about our lovely new babies very soon...

mamijacacalys · 17/07/2007 15:02

Don't worry bumbly, IME, it wasn't that bad - didn't have gas and air or anything, just went with my body and wanted to push!
The more nervous you are the worse your 'pain' is likely to be so I would try and relax as much as possible - prepare yourself, read up, try hypnobirthing or visualisation techniques - others on MN have used these methods and got through without any pain relief or just gas & air.
Hope all goes well for you

JoanCrawford · 17/07/2007 15:05

I was petrified too bumbly.

I was so scared of the pain. Just remember that you DO NOT have to have the pain if you feel it gets too much.

Epidural Epidural Epidural.

I always had that in the back of my mind, even if I wasn't keen on having one. As it was, the pain never got that bad that I required one!

It does hurt, like nothing else BUT I found it to be the most empowering, wonderful, emotional thing I've ever done. And of corse, you get your gorgeous baby at the end of it.

I've given birth naturally twice now. No more children for me and my biggest upset is that I'll never give birth again. So it really can't be all that bad.

Good luck x

krang · 17/07/2007 15:05

Do bear in mind with the epidural that the doc may say you have let the epidural wear off when the time comes to push. This happened to me. I thought I was very well prepared but nobody told me that...until after 10 hours of being on it and THEN they told me!

But seriously, tell your mw or doctor your worries. And remember it doesn't matter how the baby ends up coming out, whether it's a C-section or epidural or whatever. Have whatever drugs or procedure you fancy. Or, who knows, you may not need any at all.

Rosa · 17/07/2007 15:10

I listened to the midwife /maternity nurses and tried to do as I was asked.I figured they knew best.
I was petrified and gave birth in a country where epidurals are a no go after 8pm and before 8am and at weekends. I hate pain , needles and no G&A is available.
It was uncomfortable but worth every bit to have that baby in your arms afterwards.
DD was born on a Sunday BTW.
Don't worry and ask for pain relief its your choice and you do it how you would like. Can you not have a chat with your midwife ?

Mintpurple · 17/07/2007 16:03

Hi Bumbly

Sorry to hear youre so scared - these birth DVDs really dont give you any great reassurance do they?

As for being scared of labour, fear will make your pain worse and wont let you relax and your body do what its supposed to do, so try to reduce the fear. I would recommend that you speak to the m/w in charge of the labour ward (or the unit manager) and explain what you feel and ask if there is someone you can get to give you a look around a labour room and to have a talk to about these issues. Having a look at the room, the equipment and the environment etc will reduce the fear as it is not so unfamiliar when you go into labour, and if you can speak to an anaesthetist to discuss epidurals, then so much the better.
Most hospitals should be able to accomodate this but the sooner you phone them the better.

Consider using water and relaxation cds in early labour to help you relax and focus and if its not enough, the epidural is your 'get out of jail' card.
Epidurals do not have to be turned down or stopped at pushing, in fact, I often give a small top up to my patients during pushing if they get too much pain, as no one is going to push well if you've gone from completely pain free to agony all of a sudden. Its just cruel otherwise.
Also, some hospitals have mobile epidurals which means you can still be up and about for a good part of your labour, so ask about that. (mobile epi is just a very low dose epi which just about gets rid of your pain but still leaves you with sensation and strength in the legs, but not all hospitals do this.) Remember however that if its your first baby, there is a slightly higher instrumental delivery rate with epi. No such thing as a free lunch

So remember that you dont have to suffer - noone thinks any less of you for having pain relief.
Sorry if this is a bit long and disjointed.......night duty.........
Good luck!

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