Did you take your partner to your booking in appt?

[VapeVamp12]

I have my booking in appointment with the midwife on Monday morning, she didn't mention bringing my partner but I wondered what others had done?

Well said ken this thread conjures up images of men mansplaining contractions to their labouring partners 😂

@sagradafamiliar I do think some of you just must have awful husbands. The thought of my husband flexing anything is just comical. My appointments are very medical and not a chit chat until after the serious business is done. The care I have received is outstanding. It is all about me and the baby. I just don't agree with you all that a father asking questions during pregnancy is a bad thing. I thought we all wanted men to step up? Or is that just with night feeds and paying bills? I ask my questions and he asks his. Seems fair.

This must be the weirdest conversation I've ever had on here.

I don't have one, can't think of anything worse but what a nasty thing to say about others.

I'm going to bow out now @kennehora. You're obviously just one of those people who wants to pick holes in everything that people say. I find it tiresome when people choose to flex their skills in such a way.

OH went with me to 2 of them with this 3rd he didn't manage but they asked about domestic violence where they didn't with the other two?

@Kennehora See, I actually have no doubt that your partner is lovely. But I knew that post would piss you off. Just as you knew trying to paint @Pbobs, me and anyone else who takes their partner to an appointment is a fool who relies on them to run the app for them because they are an idiot would us.
Stop making assumptions about men other than your partner based on the few you’ve seen in the ante natal classes and cut the ones who just want to support their families some slack. My husband is literally the least egotistical person I know. I can’t speak for other men who might behave in this manner but I stand by his right to ask questions about his child.

DH came to the booking in, 6 week then routine scans (I had a growth scan at 39+5 and he was working) plus midwife appointments if he was off. When he wasnt I used to record the doppler heart beat (with midwife permission!) As he liked hearing it

I think it's a shame regarding comments about husbands or partners getting in the way, dads are already quite overlooked in maternity care

You know that's not what I meant. Fathers and their bond with their children is important. Of course the woman is the primary focus and rightly so, and yes absolutely it's her who is the patient.

However, as soon as ds was born, his father and I became equal parents who care for him together. How many threads are seen about how useless and unsupportive dads can be, is it much wonder when they are basically given the message that they're not as important from day dot?

When DH has had hospital appointments I have gone with him for support. I also found it reassuring that DH could hear the same advice as me regarding my pregnancy and was able to reiterate if I was unsure.

What an absolute load of crap being spouted on this thread. Some of you believe the stupidest things. Midwives don’t have time for questions? In some areas you can’t bring your partner so they can ask if you’re a victim of DV? In some areas you MUST bring your partner?
Chinny reckon

I didn't. It isn't very exciting. He came to most but not all of the scans.

Kennehora, as others have, I'll leave it there, I dont agree with your opinions and find them bizarre but you do you and I'll do me. As you were.

My husband has come to every one of my appointments but I have them on the weekend so neither of us has to miss work. I think it’s hard for men during the pregnancy to feel involved and not just like a side kick. I like him there for support and also to ask any questions he has, so he can feel fully informed too.

People are only stating their experiences, why would anyone bother to make something up. In Stockport and Manchester you receive an appointment letter in writing and it clearly states on it that they don't want you to bring your partner to the first appointment so they can ask about DV.

Sorry but I don’t believe that for a second. That would be a ridiculously stupid thing to do because the abusive partner would SEE THE LETTER. Not to mention that you don’t run a medical service in the basis that every patient is in a potential abusive situation

This thread has literally blown my mind. I cannot believe that there is so much negativity towards father's being involved in their children's antenatal care!

I concieved through ivf and my husband was there for every single scan during that process. He was there for every single appointment, asked relevant questions and helped with drug administration and was also there for egg retrieval and transfer. What's wrong with that?

Due to various reasons I see an NHS consultant at my hospital every two weeks and my husband is there every single time. We are our babies in growth scans, we ask questions that worry each other and we bond with our twins.

What on earth is wrong with an equal relationship????

I did a few weeks ago and I intend that he comes with me to most of the routine appointments in the future too (I didn't take him to the separate blood test I went to the GP surgery for afterwards though as that was straightforward). I have general anxiety and part of that manifests in fear of not being listened to by medical professionals (partly due to previous experiences!) and I like to have someone with me to back me up when I feel like I'm in a vulnerable situation. Clearly not everyone is going to feel like that though, so I can completely understand that others might prefer to go alone.

He's come to all of them (didn't have to take any leave because of when they were) although I've stressed it's up to him if he wants to as nothing exciting ever seems to happen
He might not be able to come to the next one because of work, I'd kind of like the support as I'm having anti-d but at the same time if the mw has to ask anything about domestic abuse etc. I can reassure her.

OP if you wish to take the dad/your partner then take him. They have ways of getting him out of the room/earshot if they want to ask specific questions.

My partner came to all my hospital appointments due to my booking midwife being generally dismissive and not listening to me, then causing my GP to have to waste her time double checking her recommendations. The booking midwife even wasted a few minutes of my consultant obstetrician's time as she had to verify what she said about something wasn't relevant to me and write it on my maternity notes.

My partner didn't come to appointments I had for the community midwife and GP at my GP practice.

Perhaps it’s different if you come through the IVF route but we’ve always been encouraged to take every fertility and now maternity appointment as a team event. DH has come to every appointment, drip, scan, egg collection (he waited outside) and embryo transfer and it won’t be any different now I’m pregnant. It’s useful to have him there in case I forget to make the points I need to as he can do it instead. We have a very high risk pregnancy and so can’t afford to let the midwife / NHS system steamroll us; and will need regular face time with a consultant.