Those who waited to find out sex at birth... are you glad you did?

[Leleophants]

Desperately want to know but also want to protect it in a way and not having anything judging it. I want everything to be as non-stereotypical as possible!

For those who waited.. were you tempted and was it worth it? :D also did you secretly think you knew?

I waited with all 3 of mine.
For me I wanted the surprise as to who I was meeting and felt that would of been taken away if I knew in advance.
Each to their own but when I know what people are having then they've had the baby it doesn't seem as big news to me.

when I know what people are having then they've had the baby it doesn't seem as big news to me.

Oh look, another one

It is a real shame, however, that other PP have felt the need to make digs at those who have made a different choice to them. If you need to justify your own decisions to yourself by criticising others’ then you need to catch yourself on, frankly.
You are so right @ThanksItHasPockets! I came on to answer the ops question as I did wait but unfortunately my response was taken as I felt my experience was more special than those that didn't! I love hearing about other people's experiences and don't for one second think I'm superior.

Yes! I like surprises. But can understand that some people are planners

We waited. My husband was the one who told me we had a baby boy, just before the midwife handed him to me. I can still hear him saying it, it’s another lovely memory from a very special day. If i was to have another dc I would definitely want to wait again.

I don’t believe it would have been any less special if we’d already known though. We would have just had the excitement of finding out sooner.

One of my very good friends had her little girl not long before my baby was born. Once her due date was close I eagerly awaited her text telling me baby had arrived. The fact that she’d told everyone she was having a girl made it no less exciting.

I'm a planner but really excited to challenge myself! I think you've all convinced me to wait!

Also means I can't be lazy with clothing. You go somewhere like Mothercare and it's all blue and pink!

@leleophants get yourself on the boots website! They have some gorgeous all in ones in their 3 for £13 offer! Beautiful colours, especially the cactus print one!

It is a real shame, however, that other PP have felt the need to make digs at those who have made a different choice to them. If you need to justify your own decisions to yourself by criticising others’ then you need to catch yourself on, frankly

Doesn’t bother me what other people do.

However, i do worry that the increase in people finding out half way through pregnancy is contributing to increasingly rigid stereotypes. Finding out before birth means people can paint the nursery and buy everything according to sex- boys arrive home to blue bedrooms and football gifts, girls to pink and frilly clothes.

Generalising, i know. But everyone I know who has found out at 20 weeks has immediately gone out and bought everything “boy” or “girl”. Even down to a blue pram, which then wasn’t suitable for the next child, and was sold and a pink replacement bought.

I had a lot of people wanting me to find out so they “knew what to buy”- as if gender neutral gifts don’t even exist.

And that’s before you get into the ethics of finding out for sex selective termination. Which isn’t uncommon.

Followed this with interest as first we were adamant about knowing and now have completely switched our minds and absolutely want to keep it a surprise! Don't judge ant decisions - all of my friends have found out and has not made it any less exciting when they announced the birth.
It was our parents who actually convinced us - they both didn't find out for any of their children and said it was the best surprise. I also like the idea of gender neutral clothes - lots of yellows, greens and oranges! To each their own but I can't wait to meet my little own and will be happy with either gender

I’m very glad I waited, my guess was also correct.
I had a traumatic birth and it is all part of the magic moment we finally got there okay.
The midwives said it was rare for people not to know so they like it when they don’t.
I actually had a student midwife and it was her first birth and she was the one to tell me.

Waited with DS1 but no one actually told me after he was born (bit of a kerfuffle for both of us) and I had to ask. It was neither here nor there to me and I have no recollection of how I felt. Glad it was over mostly I think! We found out with DS2 so we could talk to our eldest about his little brother who was coming soon.

Was super tempted but held off plus sonographer never asked us if we wanted to know and we forgot to ask as I was anxious just to know baby was healthy at 20 week scan. Very much worth the wait and surprise!

bluebluezoo but that doesn’t necessarily mean that everyone who waits to find out is GC. My sisters —dolly— little girl was a surprise at birth but she still wore a tutu skirt and headband almost every day until she was 5, she still had a pink nursery. I think it may go a lot deeper for some people than that.
I found out with my first 3 as I need to know everything. I don’t know if that’s because I work in the medical industry, or because of my aspergers, but I’m like it with all things in life - as I said upthread I don’t know the sex of the baby I’m due in 4 weeks and it’s doing my mental health no good - feels like there’s something ‘missing’, or that I’ve left the house without something and I don’t know what it is. I felt similar after I had my mmc last year - I’ll never know the sex of that baby and I can’t grieve for it properly. It’s nothing to do with buying clothes or bonding (which took me a good few months with each dc anyway)
By dismissing or ridiculing the want or need to know the sex it’s making assumptions that are designed to make the one who finds out feel as if they’re doing something wrong, which is not the case. It really has no impact on anyone else and I’m genuinely surprised that people think they have the right to judge or make calls about the intentions of those who do.

@bluebluezoo just so I get this are you saying that pretty dresses and pink are not OK as it's forcing a newborn baby (who I'm sure cares deeply) to fit a stereotype, but if I want to dress my girl in blue and football kits that's completely OK because it's not saying she should like pink and princesses?? I have two neices both wore dresses as babies, turns one of them loves princesses and the other like football and trains and wouldn't ever pick a dress now and we all embrace that. I am so confused by the rejection of anything a certain colour or style you consider feminine or masculine being worn by a child of a certain sex. Should we all just wear white boiler suits and by done with it? My friends child, born a girl has told her very supportive family and friends that actually he's a boy and wants to name change and live as a boy... He's found almost everyone accepting of this and he's not seen by any of us for anything other than who he is. I guess I'm trying to say this choice, to find out the sex of your baby early is not about anything but that to most of us. I've bought my daughter lots of colours, and yes pink (my sons wear pink too might I add) and I'm not setting her up to be anything other than who she chooses when she can let us know.

I didn’t find out because I wanted to have an old fashioned birth announcement - in my head my husband would check and say “it’s a boy/girl!”

As it happened, I was so convinced I was having a boy throughout the entire pregnancy that I didn’t even bother trying to think of girls names. I was completely convinced. And I had a lovely water birth so actually I was the first one to hold the baby and when he was born I literally couldn’t have cared less what sex he was. I didn’t even check for ages. So I didn’t get my announcement or my surprise really!

I think I might find out if I have another, as it could help my son to prepare for his sibling. DH also wanted to know last time so I guess it’s his turn.

@justus22- i think you are reading your own version of my post!

I believe children should be exposed to everything. Nothing is “for girls” or “for boys”. Cars, dolls, pink, blue, ballet, football, children should have things they like, not excluded because it’s not for their gender.

Studies have shown that the language around unborn babies changes if the gender is known- active boys are footballers, girls are giving their mum grief already. The stereotyping and expecting certain behaviours starts then..

I just wonder if the increasing slide into pink and blue is not helped by finding out early-as people project personalities on to the child depending on gender, and the child’s experience from the moment of birth is a gendered environment.

For 9 months, a wide selection of rellies, friends, colleagues & random Grannies in Sainsbury’s looked knowingly at my bump and declared “Oooh, you’re definitely carrying a boy, dear”. Following a slightly hairy end to labour, said baby was whisked away for resus, with the midwife throwing an “It’s a boy” over her shoulder. A few minutes later the consultant piped up with “Err, not quite sure who called boy but......”. Couldn’t have cared less at the time as long as the baby made it. But can’t deny I was thrilled to have a DD

@bluebluezoo I've read many a post on gender neutralisation that really does read as I've interpreted your previous post, I can see where you are coming from (sort of) in your reply to me. I have had many people so excited for us to be having a daughter (we have 3 sons already) and we have had a lot of presumption that she'll be a spoilt, very well looked after little princess by her big brothers, that she'll love pink and rule the roost etc, this is all very light hearted, kind intentioned interest rather than social expectation. A lot of the stereotyping I believe personally comes from the fact that I always was a very stereotypical "girl" and I still am fairly. I have 3 sons who are each so very different though and they've always been dressed from the boys section but each are very different and are free to be as they choose, eldest is into football, sports, music and boys fashion, dc2 is into theatre, singing, dance, Disney and youngest a mixture of everything, they are each sensitive, confident, kind, strong, sweet.... We don't have toys "just for boys" either. They totally lead the way. I know you don't think stereotypes are harmless (I agree that sometimes they aren't) but I really think sometimes they are, particularly when it comes to new babies, we don't know who they are until they show us is all I'm saying and me finding out the biological sex of my baby has not come from a place of wanting to pigeon hole her based on my expectations of certain gender I promise.