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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Those who waited to find out sex at birth... are you glad you did?

143 replies

Leleophants · 25/04/2019 20:24

Desperately want to know but also want to protect it in a way and not having anything judging it. I want everything to be as non-stereotypical as possible!

For those who waited.. were you tempted and was it worth it? :D also did you secretly think you knew?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

MondeoFan · 25/04/2019 22:04

Yep both times a complete surprise, best decision i ever made. Such a fantastic surprise it really is

TinyTickler · 25/04/2019 22:04

It's marvellous not knowing. There are so few true surprises in life.

ThanksItHasPockets · 25/04/2019 22:05

I think you’ll generally find that with a few exceptions people are happy with the choice that they made, whatever that may be.

However, I’d love someone to explain to me how not finding out the sex before the birth helps to avoid gender stereotyping, as if it confers some sort of magical lifelong protection.

kgeal3 · 25/04/2019 22:07

Yessss! Best thing we did was not find out and we aren't finding out this time x

sunday38 · 25/04/2019 22:10

I didn't find out in advance for either of my two children but I had strong feelings with both pregnancies about which sex they would be, and I was correct both times! I loved the anticipation especially as DC2 was an ELCS so I got to choose the date of birth. It makes it more exciting for friends and family too and we had fun guessing and talking about old wives tales. My friend had a baby at the same time as me but we knew from 16 weeks that it was a girl, what she'd be named and what day she was going to be delivered so the only vaguely interesting bit on the birth announcement was the weight.

GunpowderGelatine · 25/04/2019 22:11

I'm very glad was such a lovely moment seeing what the sex was

RhinestoneCowgirl · 25/04/2019 22:11

I didn't find out with either of mine. Had a fairly strong sense that DC1 was a boy (he was) but tbh it's 50/50 isn't it! When he was born I remember asking 'is it ok?' and the midwife saying 'he is fine'. As they handed him to me he peed gloriously

I thought DC2 might be a boy too, but she wasn't

Hiddenaspie1973 · 25/04/2019 22:13

I waited and I'm glad I did.
It was funny, i thought it'd be a boy, but was a girl 😂😂
All I wanted was a healthy baby

Echobelly · 25/04/2019 22:18

Absolutely glad we waited. I didn't want to have any preconceptions (no pun intended) about either baby, and always wanted to have neutral bedroom/newborn clothes rather than people rushing for pink and blue.

Got pretty lucky in that I got one of each. DH was (correctly) utterly convinced it was a girl first time; second time round, when my sister was pg at the same time, she was (correctly) convinced we were both having boys. I never had any clue... except towards to end of pg with DS - I developed an awful itchy rash, and everything I read about these pregnancy rashes suggested they were far more common when carrying boys, so I began to suspect then!

Blueberryblueberry · 25/04/2019 22:20

I had surprises and it was so so lovely (one was an emcs also after a failed instrumental so not a straightforward birth either) As soon as they told me I just felt like I had known all along, in a really lovely way- like I already 'knew' this brand new little baby. Awww op you're making me broody!

Thismummyruns · 25/04/2019 22:25

Absolutely glad I didn't find out the 1st time. So much so we haven't found out for a 2nd time due anytime in the next few weeks

MyKingdomForBrie · 25/04/2019 22:33

"what did you ha.....oh yeah, I know, a boy, right yeah, so, congratulations" type anti climax almost.

Why the fuck are the baby's genitals so bloody crucial that the birth of a new tiny person is an 'anti climax' if you already know which genitals it comes with?!? Sorry but that's pathetic.

jackstini · 25/04/2019 22:35

Waited both times - my first thought was as it would get me through labour!

Guessed both times and wrong both times

Your birth plan can go completely to pot, but that was one thing I could guarantee control of - DH being shown then telling me the news

First time comment 'everything's going to be pink!'
Second time 'boy, definitely a boy - his bollocks are massive!'

Still makes me smile every time I think about those moments of finding out

ThanksItHasPockets · 25/04/2019 22:37

When friends have found out, and told me what they were expecting, it took a huge buzz out of the actual birth

You do you. It’s a deeply personal decision. I can absolutely see how the anticipation would enhance some people’s experience of childbirth. But how dare you suggest that others’ births were diminished by their decision to find out a piece of information about their baby?

Frightenedbunny · 25/04/2019 22:38

I’ve 4 dc’s, kept it a surprise with first 3 and found out gender of final child. I must admit i was gutted we found out last Childs gender as it took away the surprise. It made all the hard work worthwhile having a surprise at the end of it!

krisskross · 25/04/2019 22:40

We didn't find out with our 3. It was just wonderful to find out when they are there, with you.

Funnyfarmer · 25/04/2019 23:03

With my 1st, they just took her away and wrapped her, they didn't even tell me, I asked "Is it a girl?"
"It's a girl" the midwife replied.
I really wanted a boy at 1st. Just thought they was more cool. In the last few months I got this really strong desire for a girl! I think if they told me at 20 weeks I might have been a little dissapointed, but from about 30 weeks I needed a girl. It was quite overwhelming, I was actually worried I would be really disheartened if she was a boy, then I started to regret not finding out, thinking if 'I just knew i could get used to the idea' i just could imagine having a boy! In every scenario I pictured my baby was a girl. I couldn't get it out of my head no matter how much I tried to replace it with a boy. Maybe instinct? I dunno.
Baby no2 I wanted a girl from the beginning, this time the want for a girl stayed with me, again in the last few months I really tried hard to bring myself round to the idea of having a boy. When the lifted her up it was the 1st place my eyes was drawn too, not her incredible mop of hair or her perfect little face but her big red swollen vagina! I was so overwhelmed! I had another baby girl just like the one I had pictured in my head.
I think you do know towards the end, I did, I just worried I'd got it wrong, so finding out the sex would have saved me a few months of worrying. I know we're not supposed to care as long as it's healthy but the disire was so strong.
If they would have told me at 20 weeks the sex was different to one I had a preference too, I would have been like " aw well, that's fine though" and I would have spent the last few months of my pregnancies enjoying them picturing me with the sex they had said, instead of me worrying about not having the sex that was so overwhelmingly printed in my head.
I'm very tired and probably rambling but I hope it makes some sence to you.

RebeccaWrongDaily · 25/04/2019 23:08

i didn't find out with any of mine, I liked DH telling me what we had had. Agree with prev posters who say that when you know the sex, the name etc. of friends children the births are less 'exciting' It's obviously still lovely news but not really news if that makes sense?

Heyha · 25/04/2019 23:16

We've not found out (first child) and we also haven't told anyone our name shortlist, it's been really good fun speculating with friends and family. Almost everyone thinks it's a boy (including me) so it'll be an interesting story for later if it is a girl! DP wants a girl though which I only found out when everyone started saying they think it's a boy, me worrying he might be a tiny bit disappointed is the only downside we've had to not finding out. I'm sure it'll be fine when it comes down to it, though!

DramaAlpaca · 25/04/2019 23:23

I didn't find out with DC1 because it was hospital policy not to tell. I really wanted a boy but had myself convinced I was having a girl. I would of course have been delighted either way, but when I found out DS was a boy it was just an amazing feeling.

With the other two I found out at the 20 week scan, a different hospital to the first time. I liked knowing in advance, but it wasn't quite as special as finding out at the birth.

cherubby · 25/04/2019 23:25

I loved finding out I was having a girl. The day after I was out imaging all the things I’d do with her. I thoroughly enjoyed all those nice thoughts I had. Would probably have been same for a boy tbh but either way I loved having found out. Only have the one but if I were to have another I would find out again. It’s either a surprise at the scan or at the birth imo.

PanamaPattie · 25/04/2019 23:25

The MW told me the sex of my first DC, even though I told her I wanted it to be a surprise. I was being induced and she asked me if I knew what I was having. I told her I wanted my DH to tell me. "Oh it's a boy" she said, " it's written in your notes". I started to cry a little bit and she told me I would have plenty to cry over later and to save my tears.

I had three home births after DS1. My DH told me each time. After DS2 was born and we were tucked up in bed, DS1 came into the room to tell me he had a new baby brother and that Granny had made me a cake and could he have a slice!

Windmill47 · 25/04/2019 23:27

We didn’t find out with DC1 and it was the nicest surprise in the world when DH announced it was a girl! We had both been sure she was a boy!

I am currently 32 weeks with DC2 and I can’t wait for my husband to tell me what we have this time 😊

CassandraAttheWedding · 25/04/2019 23:33

I did it both ways, and much preferred not knowing, so last time was firmly in not finding out again camp. Guessed wrong each time, and found it was fun to be surprised. :)

Though again like some previous posters in the last birth was just so relieved it was over didn't even think to check the sex of the baby until a few minutes later (however already had DD and DS, might have been different if I was pining for a particular sex)

CassandraAttheWedding · 25/04/2019 23:37

PanamaPattie 😮 at your midwife, was it in UK? I definitely would have made a complaint.

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