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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Elcs twins - will I "miss out" on birth?

90 replies

Cosmogirl86 · 16/02/2019 18:04

I am currently 12 weeks with twins and although it's early, I'm considering birth options.

I am considering an elective cesarean as the risk of assisted birth and medical intervention is much higher with twins. There is also a possibility the first baby could be born vaginally and then an emergency section required for second.

What I'm worried about is missing out. I'm aware that probably seems silly. But having an appointment scheduled in advance means that I miss the anticipation of the final weeks, wondering when they will arrive. I also wonder if I'll regret not having the experience of natural birth. Due to my circumstances, this is likely to be my only pregnancy.

Am I being silly? Will I regret an elective section?

OP posts:
flumpybear · 16/02/2019 18:11

I had an emergency then an elective section- they're 6&10 now - I don't even think about if my choices were a mistake I chose the most safe options for both children after medics advice at different times (first during birth second child when he was not engaged and I was 40 so needed to deliver on time to ensure safety of baby)
It's a stupid thing some people suggest that you're missing out or you've not really given birth if you have a section - do what's right for your babies at the time

Foxyscarf · 16/02/2019 18:15

I had an emcs (after pushing for a while, so I almost gave birth) with my twins and honestly, almost 2 years on, I couldn't care less. I was adamant I didn't want a caesarean, but it makes no difference in reality.

ApplestheHare · 16/02/2019 18:18

No, you're not missing anything. You will be a fantastic mum however your babies arrive Flowers

I had a vaginal birth first time round and it was relatively easy compared to what lots of friends have been through, but there's nothing special about it. If anything it's barbaric really.

SleepWarrior · 16/02/2019 18:19

I don't think you're silly - there's so much emphasis on thinking about the birth and which choices you'd like to make that it's natural to worry.

It is good for women to be taking charge of their birth options as much as possible, but it can have the consequence of giving a false sense of how important it will seem further down the line. A non-traumatic birth that's as healthy as possible for mum and baby, and jobs a goodun - you won't spend the rest of eternity stressing over it. Yes, there are women who have a lot of difficulty processing and moving on from childbirth, but that's generally due to other circumstances (medical emergency, abuse, not being listened to etc) that were taken out of their hands rather than a sense of missing out somehow.

Congratulations Flowers

Stinkytoe · 16/02/2019 18:21

You won’t care once they’re here. My first born was a vaginal delivery, my twins ELCS as both were breach. The only thing is that I found look after 2 babies pretty tough going following a c section so make sure you’ve got a lot of support in place

claracluck78 · 16/02/2019 18:25

I had opted for an ELCS with my twins at 36 weeks but ended up having them delivered a week earlier due to pre-eclampsia

It was def the best option for us and I had an amazing recovery and although i know I was lucky with that I wouldn't have changed anything. I had friends who's Singleton virginal delivery and recovery went much worse than mine.

StellaMorris · 16/02/2019 18:32

I have 2 dc. 1st time I wanted a waterbirth, had an emcs. 2nd time I wanted an active vaginal birth, and had a crash section under general anasthetic. Both birth resulted in healthy babies. What better result could I ask for?!

Those babies are now 10 and 7. I have no regrets about how they were born, and certainly don’t feel like I missed out at all.

didihearthatright123456 · 16/02/2019 18:33

I’m currently 28 weeks pregnant with twins, I made a decision very early on that I wanted an elective C Section and I haven’t changed my mind. I just want my babies here in the safest possible way and for me that is a C Section. I feel like after many years, 5 rounds of IVF I do not want to take any risks at all.

If I was having one baby then unless something prevented me then I would be planning on a vaginal birth.

I do not believe I will have any regrets whatsoever about my choice.

As you are having twins you will be guided by your midwife & consultant.

Xx

Mildpanic · 16/02/2019 18:36

I have had 3 CS, 1st was an absolute car crash emergency. As a midwife at the time I was adamant I would have a natural birth. It all changed and things took a different path. The next 1 was planned cs, beautiful. 3rd was a em cs after rupture of membranes. Had to labour all day till theatre was free. Now the youngest is 5 and at school at no point does anyone ask me about the births. I do not have any regrets. My babies were all safe and are not affected by their birth experiences.
Twins would be quite a monitored birth, you would be encouraged to have an epidural. I would try and speak to other mums of twins to get their experiences to help with choices.

Original poster
Cosmogirl86 · 16/02/2019 18:37

I understand. It's taken me five years and failed ivf to end up with my twins
I'm very grateful and want to do everything right, which is why an elective seems to be the best choice.

I'm just worried ill feel like I'll miss out on an experience other women have

OP posts:
villainousbroodmare · 16/02/2019 18:42

Don't be daft, it's lovely. You'll miss out on pain, stress and a tattered vagina. Bring peppermint tea for post op gas pain which, weirdly, may feel like a shoulder ache. Enjoy your lovely twins.

detectorist · 16/02/2019 18:51

I think natural birth is more often than not a total shit show (literally!), a few women are lucky and have 'good' experiences but quite honestly there is so much crap spouted about it being this amazing thing. It. Is. Horrible. If it were me I'd be looking forward to a lovely calm ELCS, make a playlist of music you'd like to listen to and get into a positive mindset because for my money it's the best, calmest and least traumatic way to bring a child into the world. It's a major operation and I'm not minimising that but anecdotally, I've only heard people say good things about ELCS. Some people are weirdly brainwashed about everything being 'natural', don't get sucked in by that, is utter bollocks. Natural childbirth is the worst designed thing ever. Just be proud of yourself for doing a wonderful thing bringing two lovely babies into the world. Congratulations btw Thanks.

DameSylvieKrin · 16/02/2019 18:51

I had a premature c section planned from 20 weeks to avoid one if not both of us dying. (Also after IVF.)
You can’t really be sure that it will be that day as things can change fast, but for me it was at the planned time.
I’d say with a high risk pregnancy take anything predictable you can.
I can’t risk being pregnant again so I will never experience natural birth, but it’s not a huge regret. I was lucky enough to experience pregnancy and to take the baby home.

nailsathome · 16/02/2019 18:57

I feel as though I hugely missed out. I had an emcs with my twins but had an elective planned anyway as one was breach and one transverse. It's part of a huge struggle I'm having regarding my delivery.

Original poster
Cosmogirl86 · 16/02/2019 19:23

Thank you for your insight everyone. I do worry it'll be a regret, but I'll allow myself to be guided by my consultant. Babies come first.

OP posts:
JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/02/2019 19:31

It makes no difference what so ever how they arrive, just as long as everyone is healthy. You don't get a prize for a natural birth, nobody would be waiting to have you a medal and at least with an elective you can plan about better Smile

JiltedJohnsJulie · 16/02/2019 19:34

Please don't regret it OP. Childbirth fucking hurts and you'd probably shit yourself into the bargain Grin

madeyemoodysmum · 16/02/2019 19:38

I had two sections. Both great. No issues now at all. And I’m pretty convinced I’d be in continent if I hadn’t as I had terrible stress incontinance with both pregnancy.

DrinkSangriaInThePark · 16/02/2019 19:42

I only have my twins, but no regrets about how they came into the world. I blame our magazines and Instagram society for making us all feel that every single thing has to be a perfect experience in our lives. My monoamniotic 11 year old twins were born before all that pressure thank God! I look at them now at 11 years of age, beautiful, intelligent and super healthy and I am so grateful that they came safely at 33 weeks and spent 3 weeks in incubators! At the time I worried a bit about lack of soon to skin contact etc but you know what? It didn't make the slightest bit of difference in the long run. I swear. Just go with the flow and do what's best for your children. The birth experience is the least important think in the scheme of the next 50 odd years you'll spend with them in your life!

BertieBotts · 16/02/2019 19:42

I've not had twins, but I've given birth vaginally twice.

No fucking way would I want to do that twice in one day. Honestly I'd go for the section in a heartbeat. Also the experience of giving birth to one and then needing an emergency cesaerean sounds like the stuff of nightmares, and you'd end up with the worst of both recoveries - while looking after two newborns.

(However - you'll probably get more relevant answers if you post in Multiple Births :))

You will have an experience of your children being born however they come out, and caesereans are hardly rare - you'll share that experience with plenty of mothers.

WhatNow40 · 16/02/2019 19:46

Congratulations on your pregnancy! Thanks We ttc for 5 yrs and had 2 rounds of IVF. I had an EMCS due to baby being breach. After everything you have gone through to bring your babies in to the world, the actual delivery method doesn't matter. Put their safety, and yours, ahead of the 'experience'. The 'how' is not important.

The alternative could have been never being a mum at all or you may have already have considered adoption. No birth experience at all there. And adoptive parents tend not to tell other mums as baby group about adoption, instead just nodding and grimacing along with other mums retelling their birth stories.

Be kind to yourself and don't have any expectations of birth, only that you do what it takes to bring your 2 babies home.

LL83 · 16/02/2019 19:48

I had vaginal birth with dd1 and c section with ds2. Both experiences were good/amazing/hard. I don't think you will be missing out if c section is best option for you. If I was to have a 3rd (and allowed to choose) I would have c section.

DustyDoorframes · 16/02/2019 19:48

I'm one of those lucky women who has had easy natural births. The stuff that was brilliant about it was all to do with getting the baby into my arms, and I don't feel like any of the rest of it would be worth seeking out in any way! Mine were good ones, and definitely nothing to worry about missing!
Look into woman-centred c-sections, these days you can have a very gently, touchy feely experience with a planned section too, if that's what you want. The magic of getting to plan it rather than having one in an emergency!

poppymatilda · 16/02/2019 19:54

Had an Elcs 14 weeks ago. Singleton pregnancy with no complications. It was a relaxing, magical experience. Everyone in theatre was chatty and calm and watching my daughter being delivered (they lowered the screen enough for me to see without seeing anything gory!) was an amazing experience. Recovery was fine, I was up and walking same day.

Several of my friends have had elcs for various reasons and had similar experiences. By contrast friends delivering vaginally seemed have had much more mixed experiences. Was chatting to 2 of them last weekend actually and they were taking about how they don't remember anything about their babies actually being born because they were off their heads on drugs and exhausted after 24 hours of labour. It blew my mind because I can remember and cherish every single second. Are you missing out on that basis? Seems not...

In your situation I'd defo go for the safest route which sounds like elcs. Added bonus is you'll actually most likely have a lovely experience which you'll remember fondly.

All of that said, best piece of advice anyone gave me was, you have to do what's right for you. Doesn't really matter what I'd choose, go with your instincts and do what would make you most comfortable.

Many many congratulations, sounds like you've waited awhile for these babes so I'm sure how ever they arrive you'll just be delighted they're here! X

Blabbermouth93 · 16/02/2019 21:24

I'm not having twins or a c-section but im pregnant with my 4th child and i can tell you vaginal delivery is nothing special if for me not having anxiety I'd have a c-section over natural any day i hate it ... i don't mind contractions but i hate having to push i don't like the feeling and because again due to anxiety i can only have a bit of gas and air my labours are horrendous to the extent im having panic attacks every night about this one.

Go with your section hun more than likely safer for your babys.