Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Elcs twins - will I "miss out" on birth?

90 replies

Cosmogirl86 · 16/02/2019 18:04

I am currently 12 weeks with twins and although it's early, I'm considering birth options.

I am considering an elective cesarean as the risk of assisted birth and medical intervention is much higher with twins. There is also a possibility the first baby could be born vaginally and then an emergency section required for second.

What I'm worried about is missing out. I'm aware that probably seems silly. But having an appointment scheduled in advance means that I miss the anticipation of the final weeks, wondering when they will arrive. I also wonder if I'll regret not having the experience of natural birth. Due to my circumstances, this is likely to be my only pregnancy.

Am I being silly? Will I regret an elective section?

OP posts:
reallyanotherone · 19/02/2019 16:23

Am I being silly? Will I regret an elective section?

No, you won’t regret it.

You might think about it, wonder what vb is like, and feel a tinge of sadness that it’a a pretty major life event you’ll never have.

I also have mixed feelings in that some way I’m glad i never had to try a vb!!

But in the end the mechanism of birth is a tiny tiny blip in the journey of parenthood, and you’ll realise that you might feel a bit sad or confused, even angry about it, but it is what it is and move on.

Alwayscheerful · 19/02/2019 16:46

Someone one said to me the pain of childbirth is the best kept secret in the world, Mothers tend not to prepare their daughters.
I agree with the description above - "Barbaric".
I tried to prepare my daughter, after her first vaginal delivery, she said "Mum it's like a bomb going off inside your body."

Far better to have a controlled explosion than a random bomb!
Take the calm safe planned section.

muckydogpaws · 19/02/2019 16:57

Congratulations on your pregnancy - having twins is going to be amazing! I had an emergency cs for my first baby (that was scary I can tell you) and then went for an elective one the next time. Both babies were gorgeous and are now beautiful grown ups. I've never once felt I've missed out on something because I had caesarians. You have so many more experiences ahead of you that are wonderful, just go for those and don't let anyone tell you that you've missed out or you are any less because of your very rational choice.

reallyanotherone · 19/02/2019 17:07

Far better to have a controlled explosion than a random bomb!
Take the calm safe planned section

Even planned sections are not completely safe. Or calm. Mine wasn’t- they discovered I have scoliosis trying to site the spinal, that was hell. Plus my bp dropped so i spent the cs practically upside down, shaking so much i couldn’t hold my newborn for an hour after, slipping in and out of consciousness. My friend had a severe infection in her cs wound and spent 3 months in and out of hospital.

It’s a spectrum. A straightforward VB will always be “better” in terms of safety than a cs. Some women can pop out a baby with barely a sneeze. A cs with no complications will be better than a prolonged vb with issues such as shoulder dystocia or complicated tearing.

Problem is you have no way of knowing which you’ll get. You have to weigh up your balance of risk. Which is individual. What may be the safer option for me may not be for someone else.

Take medical advice. Go with what you think has the best chance of a successful outcome.

Hugtheduggee · 19/02/2019 20:07

Someone one said to me the pain of childbirth is the best kept secret in the world, Mothers tend not to prepare their daughters.

It was only after I had my section that my mum said how relieved she was that I'd had a section, because she really did feel like she was going to die when giving birth, and if she could have died she would have chosen to do so to end the pain! And she's not someone prone to melodrama.

Am I sad I missed out on that? I'm curious as to how I'd have coped, but only in the same way that when watching an action film I wonder how I'd hold up under torture...

reallyanotherone · 19/02/2019 20:56

*Someone one said to me the pain of childbirth is the best kept secret in the world, Mothers tend not to prepare their daughters.

It was only after I had my section that my mum said how relieved she was that I'd had a section, because she really did feel like she was going to die when giving birth, and if she could have died she would have chosen to do so to end the pain! And she's not someone prone to melodrama*

My mum had 2 hour start to finish pop them out on the bathroom floor type of births. As do quite a few women in my family.

In fact it was only when there was no news from my sister 4 hours after her first contractions i realised my mum genuinely thought a 2 hour labour was “normal”. She was in a panic wanting to ring the hospital because she was convinced something had gone wrong and either my sister or the baby was at deaths door because it had been “too long” and she should have been phoning with news hours ago.

When she heard i had had an emcs she was utterly horrified- again she thought it was vanishingly rare and that something must have gone horrifically wrong.

A colleague of mine was also a pop em out type and when i told her i was choosing an elcs tried to talk me out of it, vb was so easy, wonderful, i had to “do it properly” etc.

It’s perspective. There are many women whose experience of vb was amazing, just as there are those whose experience was awful.

BertieBotts · 19/02/2019 21:06

It doesn't matter, you can't be prepared for it IME. I thought I was prepared for labour #2 since I'd done it before Hmm

Original poster
Cosmogirl86 · 19/02/2019 21:31

I seen my consultant today, and as my twins are sharing a placenta, he strongly advised a section. Basically, one twin could be delivered, and the placenta could block the second one from being safely delivered. That sealed deal for me, section it is!

OP posts:
PaintBySticker · 19/02/2019 21:34

Well done. Now you’ve made a choice you can start to look forward. Wishing you all the best for a safe delivery of your babies.

ApplestheHare · 19/02/2019 21:42

Great to hear you've reached a decision. Sounds safest and best for you all. Hope it all goes well Flowers

lorisparkle · 19/02/2019 22:19

I think making the decision at this point will make it easier in the long run. With my subsequent ELCS I researched and planned how to make them as personal and positive as possible. This really helped me overcome any negative feelings I had. Good luck!

Hobbes39 · 19/02/2019 22:37

@Cosmogirl86 - I'm so pleased that your update sounds like you are able to have peace with it. I definitely agree with a previous poster that it is a misnomer - shouldn't really be called 'elective', should be called 'medically advised'. Good luck for the rest of your pregnancy x

Hollowvictory · 20/02/2019 04:10

Relax and enjoy your pregnancy now. Please don't consider that you are missing out on anything, you are gaining 2 babies and how they arrive is irrelevant.

ThisoneThatoneTheOtherone · 20/02/2019 04:52

Glad you've made a decision, OP. Best of luck with the rest of your pregnancy.

For what it's worth, one of my best friends had what would generally be regarded as two textbook, beautiful water births. Her advice to me when I asked her how to prepare for labour: "You'll be fine, lovely. You'll almost certainly shit yourself in front of strangers but, don't worry, you'll be so out of it with the pain that you won't be embarrassed until afterwards!".

A couple of my friends had very pleasant birth experiences, but generally with their second or third babies - first babies seem to be complete luck of the draw. Of eight women in my DSIL's NCT group, five ended up with varying degrees of unplanned c-section and two of the others needed instrumental assistance getting the baby out. They were all healthy young women who were very set on a vaginal birth - you just can't really plan for how things will go on the day.

Amelia910 · 20/02/2019 18:26

My mum had two sets of twins, all four of us were born vaginally/naturally so it could happen

New posts on this thread. Refresh page