Anyone expecting and not having visitors after the birth?

[ineedtostopgooglingsymptoms]

I’m 39 weeks and DH and I have decided that we didn’t want any visitors for the first 5 days. It was more DHs decision than mine but I want to establish breastfeeding etc and I don’t want to do that in front of parents (prudish I know but that’s just how I am). I also don’t have a great relationship with my parents either and I know they will just sit and demand cups of tea and want to hold the baby.

I can’t imagine we will be in hospital that long either (hopefully anyway!) so haven’t said yes to any visitors.

Anyone else doing the same?

[Chickoletta]

I couldn't wait to show my babies to the people I loved.
You will 't really know how you feel until you're in the situation, but I think this is pretty selfish if you have grandparents who are excited and keen to meet their grandchild. Up to you, of course, but do remember that newborns sleep most of the time.

[BertrandRussell]

In the 1940s, my mum’s doctor told her to buy “lots of lovely negligees” so she could “lie on the sofa looking pretty with the baby when visitors come to worship”

[Nat6999]

The morning after I came home after having DS all my husband's family came round to visit, I was knackered, tearful, my blood pressure was still high, I was bleeding heavily, I flooded whilst they were there but I was too embarrassed to get up & go to the toilet to change. I just wanted everyone to go away & leave us alone except for my mum & dad. We lived round the corner from my in laws & I used to take over from early morning & bring DS downstairs so my husband could get some sleep, my bloody mother in law used to be knocking on the front window as she went to the paper shop at 6.30 in the morning, I never got a moment's peace. It was no wonder my blood pressure shot back up to dangerous levels.

[snitzelvoncrumb]

What ever you decide is fine. Just a suggestion but maybe don't tell people you don't plan to have visitors. Delay announcing the birth, that will give you a day, then just say oh I'm possibly coming home that day and don't know where I will be. Then just arrange visits for a few days time, if anyone just shows up don't answer the door. This should get you around five days, and no-one will get upset at being told they have to wait, it's less likely to become a battle of wills. Don't feel bad about wanting space, you may be tired and not want to spend the early days making cups of tea, it's also nice to have your boobs out when feeding in the early days.

[higgyhog]

You really don't know how you will feel until the baby arrives. With DS1 i was still in hospital as he had jaundice and we were not home until he was 5 days old, so with a couple of days to get ourselves sorted he was a week old before we could even think about seeing people.
DS 2 was born at home, i cooked dinner the day he was born and fetl a bit sad it was only us. When he was 3 days old we sere out shopping for presents for the community midwives who delivered him and I wanted the whole family to meet him. As i only had 6 weeks off work (self employed at the time) there was a lot of social stuff to fit into those first weeks.

[Mmmmbrekkie]

I loved visitors!

Mind you, small family and very close and they are all so considerate and loving

And then our very close friends that we have had for years.

No pressure, I made tea (I offered, there’s only so much sitting down I could do!) and we loved sitting around, chewing the fat and gazing at this beautiful newcomer in to our fold.

However that is what I liked. Nothing wrong or weird about you doing what you like.

[Mmmmbrekkie]

Also having visitors (if they are the right ones!) is great for slightly diluting the intensity of those first few days. I showered, dressed and put on a bit of make up before they arrived and it felt good.

[outpinked]

I wished I’d done it with my first DC so made sure I definitely put my foot down with DC2, 3 and 4. It was far better not having to worry about visitors imo. I’m introverted enough as it is but when I felt like shit, the last thing I wanted was family visiting .

[SquidgeBS]

I think it should be up to you and your partner, so whatever you want at the time just tell everyone. Make sure it is what you want as well though, not just your partners preference. When my son was born my family arrived at our home as we got home from hospital and I personally loved it as I got to show off my incredible little human! My in laws live 160 miles away but came up when he was 2 days old and stayed at a local hotel as I preferred for nobody to stay at our home. I loved visitors but also valued my front door when we got tired!
This time I'll see how we feel but my son will meet his sibling before anyone else.
Go with how you feel and just enjoy every moment

[samG76]

We had a party Friday night, and asked prospective visitors to come to that rather than dropping in randomly. That worked very well, especially as we had the food brought in....