Catching up with those from TTC thread- 2

[MrsC87]

So I went with the same thread title so everyone could find us.
@sunshine1987 @SullyWifey @mrsof20118 @GemmaJen @RanchoRelaxo @Delilah7 @Crossfitgirl @EltzBee @MrsEG (tagged from memory, will come back and tag everyone else- baby brain 🙈)

Thank you all so much. I feel completely broken at the moment to be honest. In hospital waiting for emergency surgery to remove the tube. I just want to go home. 🙁
@FivexFive I am so so sorry for you too. It's just so heartbreaking, I know what you mean about getting carried away. I even started a pregnancy bullet journal. What an idiot.

Hey girls. Thought I'd see how you're all getting on. I've had a nice break from mumsnet for 5 days, but DH has thrown up some issues and I'm feeling pretty sad and rubbish. However, I didn't expect to see such sad news on here today and feel like I should just feel lucky to have what I have.

@fivexfive I can't tell you how sorry I am to hear that, it must be heartbreaking for you and I really feel like crying. I'm glad you're feeling well supported and I hope you can take all the time you need to get through this. Look after yourself, and do let us know how you get on if you feel like staying on here.

@flapjackered I am so so sorry, I can't believe the news and I'm devastated for you. I just don't know what to say, ectopic can be so serious I'm just glad you knew something wasn't right and got checked out straight away and that you will be getting treatment and will be OK. Please let us know how you are after the surgery if you feel like coming on here. Sending lots of hugs and love to both you and @fivexfive.

@eltzbee I'm so happy for you that your 12 week scan went OK and all is looking good, that must be such a relief for you! At least you know all this sickness and feeling rubbish is completely and utterly worth it for your little one to be healthy and kicking! Are you feeling any better at all?
Lovely pic, and it looks a bit blurred like it's moving a lot!! Ours was the same, standing on its head and wriggling like mad. It's so amazing to see isn't it :-)
Great to see some happy news xxx

@flapjackered I hope you get to be at home soon, make sure to look after yourself. I have no words but just want you to know we’re all here for you xx

@FlapJackered @FivexFive sending love and well wishes to you both at this sad and horrible time xxxx

FlapJackered and FivexFive sending you both hugs. Thank goodness it's the weekend and you'll have your DPs around today.

What's happened @Crossfitgirl? I hope you're ok too.

@flapjackered, are you still in hospital?? I hope they are looking after you. Xx

@crossfitgirl, nice to have you back and thank you for the kind post xx What's happened with your dh?? Xx

I feel a bit calmer today, just really flat. Dh has said not to feel stupid for being excited. If it was going to end badly this time, at least we enjoyed it while it lasted. I guess he's right really. I mostly feel like I was an idiot for being 'too positive' if that makes sense? Even waiting for the scan yesterday, I genuinely thought we'd be OK (although the nurses had also told me my signs /tests etc looked good) Just want it done with now, although I worry that makes me sound a bit cold. The thought of waiting for 2 weeks and potentially needing 'a procedure' makes me feel ill. Xx

@FivexFive I agree with your DH completely he sounds like a very wise man. you were pregnant and that was real so don't feel embarrassed or silly for getting carried away. You didn't get carried away you were just hopeful like we all are as we all want to start our families but next time you are pregnant it won't end like this. I'm glad you're feeling a bit more positive today. Be kind to yourself and know none of this is your fault. Same goes for you @Crossfitgirl.

Sorry @Crossfitgirl I realised I tagged you when I meant to tag @FlapJackered 🤦‍♀️

Your DH is a wise man @FivexFive. If you'd worried and stressed all along, you wouldn't feel any better now.

This wait must feel so cruel though.

@bettythecat @chaosmoon, I've just told dh he is being referred to as a wise man on here... He says you sound like wise ladies!! Made me smile 🙂

@FivexFive @@FlapJackered I don't know if you will find this as comforting as I did, but when I had my MC I liked to think that statistically, it's highly unlikely to happen again. But please don't feel foolish for getting excited, it's natural, and getting excited or planning ahead doesn't jinx anything, you weren't to know 💚

@fivexfive can completely understand you wanting to get it over with, it doesn't sound cold at all, it's just not wanting to drag out something so awful any longer than you have to. You want to start dealing with things, and that's understandable. As DH says, do not feel stupid at all. It's completely normal to be excited and get carried away, nobody can predict what's going to happen, and you made the most of that joy at the time. Why wouldn't you? If anything it would be silly not to feel so excited. Despite knowing the risks of MC early on, I was exactly the same and even told a work friend before I was even 4 weeks. Xxx

@chaosmoon DH I think had just started to feel a bit neglected. He had been doing everything while I was feeling crap in the first trimester, looking after me and being a proper trooper. I started to feel normal /human only really the past week properly, and he just got grumpy for a few days and eventually came out with it. Said he felt I was only bothered about myself, and only interested if things involved me or the baby, I didn't appreciate him, I wasn't showing any interest in him and he felt like I didn't care.

I guess to an extent during the first trimester I was self involved in a way, but only because I didn't have the mental or physical energy to really worry about anything else, and you just feel like the baby is too important and you have to focus on you, don't you? And I thought when I talked about the baby, he was involved with that, since it's his baby... Tbh I felt like me talking about my symptoms and the baby was a totally team parent thing to do, I thought he'd feel involved since the bbay is half his, but maybe it's not so easy for them. They can't see or feel anything so I guess it probably did just come across as me being selfish.

How's everyone else's DPs taking things? Anyone else been though a little phase like that?

He's fine now, we've talked and made up, I explained as best I could. I just felt like he could have at least given me chance... Literally only JUST started feeling better and was literally planning to have a proper house blitz this weekend and then put on some sexy underwear for him!

@FivexFive that doesn't sound cold at all. With my mmc we found out at a scan a couple of days before going to the epu to have it confirmed and dealt with. By then the shock had sunk in, and the staff were lovely but almost being too nice, if that makes sense. I went into a very matter if fact mental place and couldn't understand why they were acting so cautiously and not being direct about things. I think you do what you have to to get through it. It wasn't until a few weeks later when I really let myself grieve for what could have been. Make sure you give yourself time, it'll be a rollercoaster of emotions, but you will get through it. And you can't live in fear, being excited and enjoying it doesn't make it any worse than if you'd been a nervous wreck for the last few weeks, the outcome is just as heartbreaking either way. It sounds like your wise DH is being a great support x

@Crossfitgirl my poor DH has to put up with me complaining and appologising every two minutes, he's being a trooper about it, but I know it's getting to him. It doesn't help that we've not dtd since we've found out. I feel pretty guilty, hoping life feels more normal when we get past the nausea and exhaustion stage 🤞

Thanks everyone for being so kind. Got back from Hospital last night. Turns out it wasn't an ectopic, there is just a cyst on my tube which is not uncommon apparently. She said the hormone levels did not go up enough in the blood tests though so likelihood is I will miscarry at some point, they are going to do a scan in a weeks time to check and if necessary help it along.
Now just feeling very sore from the laparoscopy and full of air which is really uncomfortable. Has anyone else ever had one? Any tips for recovery?
@FivexFive I know what you mean about wanting it over with. I just want to forget it ever happened which is awful. I hope you're doing ok? I don't know about you but I feel stronger now I have had a few days to process it. Although I know when it actually happens it will be sad. Sorry if I have missed it on the thread but what is the process with yours are they going to let it happen naturally or have you been given something to help it on its way? Sending hugs xxx

No advice I'm sorry @FlapJackered, though I wish I did. It's hard to know what to make of that news. Nothing is ever simple is it? I hope you're feeling physically better soon, though I know it's going to take longer to restore your emotional equilibrium.

@Crosfitgirl I honestly believe my DH is as perfect as a man can be, but we've still had moments like this. I can now see it from both sides. In your first week feeling well, you are still reeling from recovery and rebuilding your emotional and physical reserves. Your DH has also depleted his emotional reserves and, while he could keep going while it was obvious that you were ill, now it's harder as he has nothing left to give.

I don't think my DH could be doing a better job. But I try really hard to make a point of asking about him and his day, telling him how safe and secure and reassured and generally better he's making me feel,v and apologising from time to time for not being more fun. He always tells me not to be ridiculous at that point, but I think he needs to hear that I care too. That helps him be ok with it. Basically, while he would never articulate it, I figure he needs to feel understood and appreciated as much as I would.

Sorry, does that all sound preachy? I hope not. I just find it helpful to deal with these moments of tension if I understand what's behind them.

@flapjackered, glad you're home and starting to feel more together. I'm the same really, had a cry yesterday morning but definitely feeling loads calmer. I'm really sorry you have to wait as well, I think that's almost the cruelest part. Sending love your way xxx

With me they're scanning me in 2 weeks. They said in between I'm to expect a heavy bleed and may even pass the sac (gag) so to prepare for that. Or I may not get much bleeding at all. At the scan, they see what, if anything, is 'leftover'. If there is still something there, I can either wait longer, take medication to speed it up or have a minor operation where they take it all out. My friend who went through it has said if it comes to it, to have the op straight away, as it will mean everything is over with faster. At the moment I'm just getting dark brown blood when I wipe, but have stocked up on supplies in case it gets heavier. I've told work I'll be in as want to keep busy, but will go home if 'it starts' which they're fine with. On a positive note, I feel very supported. Everyone is being very kind, even my cat!

Anyway.... I feel bad for bringing this thread down. Stupid I know, but I do. Anyone got good news or silly stories to lift us up?? Xxx

@flapjackered just rest up as much as possible, and eat and drink plenty. I had one when I was a lot younger but its so long ago I can't remember. Did they remove the cyst?
@chaosmoon thank you, that is actually really helpful. I think I do need to start verbalising these positive things to him, and no you don't sound preachy at all. It's always good to see how other people deal with things. It sounds like you do have a very good man there!

@fivexfive it sounds like you are being very pragmatic about things and I'm glad you're feeling at least a bit more in control of how you're going to deal with it. I don't have any silly stories, but if you have Netflix I can highly recommend "the good place" as a good and funny feel good series! does anyone watch game of thrones? I'm trying to persuade DH to watch it but he's adamant he won't like it and won't even watch the first episode to see! Xx

@crossfitgirl, we watch Got, final series starts in April. It is definitely something you can get your teeth in to, but not for the faint hearted. Definitely give it a go though. Xx

You may laugh at me if you wish @FivexFive. got in the shower after my swim this morning, with nothing but my towel and my wash stuff. Then managed to jam the padlock on my locker. so I've just spent 20 minutes walking around the gym in nothing but my towel, searching for DH and trying to find someone who can help me break in! Not sure if that's the funny story you were looking for, but it's what I have right now...

I'd also second The Good Place, and suggest Grace and Frankie if you're looking for another easy and very funny watch

Ahh I've seen GOT all the way up to series 7. Just can't get DH to watch it! So excited for the final series!

@FlapJackered I had one last year. Take soft mints for the trapped air if it's in your shoulder blade like it was mine and just rest. That's all you can do hun xxxx

@FlapJackered that’s good news that it’s not an ectopic at least, no risk of damage to your tube. Is there any chance it’s not a miscarriage but just your levels rising a bit slowly? Take it easy this weekend and focus on relaxing and recovering.

@Crossfitgirl we watch GOT, I love it

@ChaosMoon @Crossfitgirl I keep thanking my DH for taking care of me and apologising for being so useless, he just says that I’m being silly and it’s his job to take care of me, I think he feels a bit useless cos he can’t make me feel better. Ive been making sure I jump on him every time I feel well enough though, sex has always been an important part of our relationship and I don’t want to let that slip away because of the pregnancy

Hi all! It's been a while since I posted on here. Been super busy with work, but am now on maternity leave.

I'm now 37+1 with my rainbow baby! Can scarcely believe it

Afternoon ladies. I've watched some of GoT but think I got to series 3 or 4 and needed a break as it was heavy going with the gruesome stuff! Suits is good to watch.

I bought some new clothes this weekend, maternity jeans and some non wired bras. It is so nice to have clothes that are comfortable again. New Look had a good range of jeans and clothes which we good and not too expensive.

Back to work tomorrow but going to work from home and speak to my boss. I'm go out to ask if one of my bigger projects been be passed to someone else as I can't face the traveling with it. This week is going to be hard as I've not gone without am afternoon nap or rest and get very tired still. There isn't anywhere in the office to be able to rest. Want to be sensible and me and bean come first.

How did everyone else tell work officially, did you put it in writing?

@chaosmoon, brilliant... A similar thing happened to me once! OK so I had a nice day today, went to the cinema with my brother's gf (soon to be fiance, hopefully!) then met up with my bro and dh, we took her dogs for a walk, had lunch etc. Think dh and my bro had a good 'man chat' too, which is nice.

I'm gonna take a break for a bit, but will pop on to see how you ladies are doing and if anything Big happens I'll let you know. Much love! Xx