Christmas Facebook Announcement?

[Siannybobs]

Or is that cringe?!
I'm 14w4d, we've been telling people face to face since the 12w scan, so we have got round to all close family and there has been a lot of love . Should I do a Facebook post with DH, scan pic and me in front of the tree? I'd like to for sharing the excitement with friends but I do understand it's a cliche.
Ooo I'm in two minds.

Very tacky.

When I see posts like this at Christmas I think they are attention seeking and tacky.

Write an email with a photo attached. Send it to those you know would like to see it.

To those who you're aware are struggling with infertility, send an individual email which is sensitive to their own situation. They will most likely be delighted for you, but also touched that you haven't forgotten they're having a hard time.

The worst is getting strings of people, over weeks, months, years, who make it very clear they want you to be Happy For Them, but aren't in the slightest bit sympathetic regarding childlessness, and judge your natural response to it.

@wrapandroll, beautifully put.
@greendale17, maybe yesterday I did sound a little bitter but it was the one day of the year when yes, being alone with no kids did suck actually. Normally I stick a big smile on and am happy for people but sitting alone on Christmas day I just didn't feel I could do that. A tiny bit of compassion for those of us struggling at this time of year would be a nice thing.

I love seeing people's baby, engagement, new job etc announcements on Fb, I love to see others happiness no matter where I am in my own life. I do however have 3 friends who are close to me and struggling with infertility and baby loss so I won't be making a fuss at all or announcing as I have previously on fb, that said this is not my first baby and we haven't been through mc, loss or trouble ttc. Most of my friends who have battled with loss/infertility and had IVF have announced after 12 weeks and done daily updates they were thar excited, despite others around them still going through loss and infertility and in fairness they have fought hard themselves to have this special time so I kind of get them wanting to make the most of every second. If you want to shout it from the roof tops do it. Anyone struggling as you have before may find inspiration in your happy ending. Congratulations xx

Don't!!!!! I'm infertile and mi SIL announced her pregnancy on Xmas day and it nearly broke me. Xmas is such an emotional time anyway. Leave it until after x

It is now after Christmas.

I didn't post anything but I will.

Let's be honest, you were always going to. This was never a real question.

Just please don't be upset if it doesn't go exactly the way you have pictured it.

@irony I remember you posting on the recurrent miscarriage thread and just wanted to say how very, very sorry I am hear to hear your news xx
Op it is up to you and when and where you announce your lovely news, you’ve been through a difficult time so I’m sure you’re sensitive to how others may feel, and ultimately you deserve to enjoy making your announcement

I personally find FB pregnancy announcements tacky in general, especially with scans pics

They're not for everyone, it's another thing, IMO, that's like marmite

@ShotsFired
I asked about doing it as a Christmas thing, I've refrained as I was overwhelming told to.

Gosh people are judgey about this topic aren't they?

I've "announced" both of my pregnancies on Facebook, so I must be really, really tacky (I used scan pics too!). Mainly I did it that way because I found it so much easier than telling people (other than immediate family and very, very close friends - although I don't have many of the latter TBF) face-to-face. I hate being the centre of attention and get really awkward and panicked in front of people, but I'd feel equally awkward bumping into friends and being obviously pregnant and not having said anything too. Telling people from behind a screen is much less stressful for me personally! That way there is a lot less fuss when you see people in person, as they already know so it's old news by then. It also feels like less "fuss" than sending individual messages to everybody to tell them too IYSWIM? I don't post in the explicit expectation of getting congratulations from everyone (although I obviously know a proportion of people will comment) and I have no doubt that plenty of people just scrolled by the posts, which doesn't bother me in the slightest.

As far as people struggling with infertility / loss are concerned, while I can 100% appreciate that this type of news must be very difficult (I have a tiny degree of experience as suffered a loss just as a friend gave birth) - I do agree with PPs who have said that you can't 100% live your life to please/protect other people. Any type of good news could potentially upset/be difficult for someone else who is going through a hard time. You post a picture of you and your mum, a friend who has lost their mum sees it... you post a new job announcement and someone has just lost their job etc. so if you think like that you'd never share any good news, which seems like a sad state of affairs. I've seen plenty of things on Facebook that, for various reasons, I have personally found hard... but that doesn't stop me being happy for the poster.

I do see the point about Christmas possibly being a worse time though, and it seems the OP has taken that on board.

I Don’t think it’s such a big no no. I have no kids - and can’t - but understand that whne other people have babies it’s exciting and something to celebrate.

People get pregnant, how far do you not take sharing good news? Don’t share a graduation photo because a pal never went to uni, don’t share a photo of your new car (no, really, don’t) because another friend can’t drive?

Oh for goodness sake. Post it. By the same token some PPs are suggesting never posting pictures of children, holidays, parents, etc etc etc in case it upsets someone who doesn't have the same.

My OH (parent of my DCs) was critically ill and I didn't know if he'd survive. Did I resent people posting about happy times with their family whilst his life was hanging by a thread? No. Of course not. I was happy for them even though it was truly killing me inside.

By the same token some PPs are suggesting never posting pictures of children, holidays, parents, etc etc etc in case it upsets someone who doesn't have the same.

I don't think that's the case. There is something so fundamental about pregnancy announcements.

FB is a very blunt instrument of communication, and many posts are "one size fits all", like some Christmas "round robin" letters which aren't thinking of the recipient.

It's also much harder to discuss the bad times than the good. It's almost disallowed to express your true feelings on having fertility problems. People who invariably had their own children easily either tell you to stop being negative/bitter, to "just" adopt, or that it wasn't meant to be.

Of course, IRL no-one would say any of this.

I preferred to see FB announcements or receive texts when I was struggling to conceive. That way you can be upset in private before you have to put a brave face on and be happy in person

Congratulations!

I suffered recurrent miscarriage over a 4 year period while trying for my DS. Eventually had him and it was a very nervous time. I didn't make any reference to my pregnancy on social media as I was so afraid I would have to construct a post to say we had lost him. I'm now pg again and near the 12 week mark. I won't be sharing again despite this time having a complication free time (so far) and feeling slightly more relaxed (so far). I suppose more than anything I don't understand why people can't just text, or tell close friends in person. We have several friends who are TTC and I also think it's more important to me that I tell them the best and most careful way I can, not that 150 people 'like' my Facebook post. We all have acquaintances on social media who we met at hen parties, weddings, uni mates we no longer catch up with. I don't particularly want to delete them from Facebook but I equally don't fancy them seeing the inside of my body or knowing my plans for a family.
Having said that, I don't begrudge anyone who wants to post pregnancy news on Facebook, I'm just trying to rationalise why some people might not want to. For me it was definitely to do with tempting fate.

I LOVE seeing baby announcements on Facebook. I don't think it's cringe at all. I think it's always a happy post to see someone is expecting.

Just super curious to know why it's 'tacky' to share your excitement? We have family all over the world, friends who I know from travelling, uni friends, school friends, current work colleagues etc etc the list goes on. I couldn't even manage to write Christmas cards to every one this year 🙈 so I use Facebook to share our family news with those I choose to be friends with on there. Facebook was created as a way of connecting people...so if someone is choosing to update their Facebook to match their time in their life I don't understand why that's tacky? That's it's exact purpose!!! I do on the other hand understand the infertility side of things, but equally you can't stop sharing your happiness for others. I have a friend who has recurrent miscarriage, when I was pregnant the first time I told her in person and she FLIPPED at me, saying how could I say it to her face. I told her in a really unexcited way nothing over the top at all, I wanted to spare her feelings and wanted to tell her personally because I thought at the time.it was the right thing to do. She has never spoken to me again and she's blocked me on Facebook....there's sometimes you can't please everyone. If you're excited and want to share, then do :) we have had loads of love and support sharing our news. Enjoy every minute OP xx

I wouldn't do it. This is such a hard time of year for so many people. Your happy news could seriously hurt someone who's struggling. Anyone who needs to know would surely have been told privately?

I speak only for myself, but if I were pregnant, then the people I'd want to know, I'd like to tell them personally, it must be a wonderful conversation to have? Add to which you can nuance it for anyone who may be sensitive etc.

But the rest of the world? Why do you care that they must know, and why should they care? Sure, great, well done you had sex? (I say that tongue in cheek - if you're happy, then good for you, but it has no actual impact on me)

And scans? They are just blurry black and white blobs, unless you count those weird 3D ones which look like a lasagne

I'm a little shocked at some of the responses to this @siannybobs, please don't feel 'told.' I understand being sensitive towards others feelings & I'm so sorry for anyone finding things hard but you are allowed to be happy, excited and celebrate as publicly as you like. If you are hurt by baby/birth marriage announcements then realistically (and I mean this kindly) social media maybe should be avoided. How you can say, don't announce your amazing news because these posts hurt my feelings is a bit selfish in itself and again I am refraining from doing this because I don't feel comfortable as my closest friends are going through this but they would not dream of telling me or anyone to hide their happiness and I don't think I would be in the wrong If I did want to, I know my friends who are right now struggling will be the first to excitedly share their baby news when the time comes. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings but just think you should embrace every good thing in life and make the most of your happiness, the majority of people will be happy to here it. X

Post your happy news op, you can't be responsible for everyone's emotions. It's rediculous that people can't share their news on social media to friends and family without people being judgemental and taking it as a personal attack. As a pp said are people not supposed to share pictures of their children etc in case someone gets offended. If people can't handle seeing pregnancy announcements or pictures of happy family times then they should either remove friends from social media or themselves. You shouldn't have had to ask the question and I think it's lovely seeing friends news especially if they don't live close by anymore etc.

I’m quite shocked by the lack of empathy in this thread