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Original poster

Am I crazy for not wanting pain relief?

106 replies

gimmeadoughnut123 · 09/12/2018 09:27

I've spoken to a few people regarding my plans for labour. My first choice will be gas and air, in a birthing pool if possible. An epidural is second choice for pain relief but I have said I would prefer to try not to have this.

Don't get me wrong...if I am struggling and it will be better for me and baby then I will have it. But I've heard quite a few stories of people that literally couldn't feel anything when giving birth and didn't even know they were contracting. I've always wanted to have a natural labour and to know I brought a child in to the world, and would find this strange.

I have a very high pain threshold as I am in pain most days with a chronic illness, generally people never know.

The second I say my first choice is just gas and air, I immediately get 'ok then, that will last five minutes' or 'yeah right, good luck with that' which I find a bit crap. Of all of my friends that have had babies, none of them have had pain relief, except for one who asked for it but the epidural wouldn't work for some reason. I'm unsure if people just didn't want it, asked too late, or were encouraged to stick it out when they asked.
Don't get me wrong, it's possible I'm being very naive and will change my mind on the day!

What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Original poster
gimmeadoughnut123 · 09/12/2018 09:29

Feel the need to add: I know I mentioned always wanting a natural labour. I know the need for a c section might be there when the time comes, which is ok (keeping fingers crossed I don't need this as I don't know how people look after newborn when recovering). But if I can do it naturally and it will be ok for baby and I, obviously I'd prefer it.

OP posts:
CmdrIvanova · 09/12/2018 09:29

I went from paracetamol and a little bit of oramorph to mobile epidural. I wasn't keen on pethidine, didn't fancy gas and air. Just keep an open mind and see how you go on the day. The mobile epidural was great, I was still aware I was contracting and could stay active but totally pain free.

Ginger1982 · 09/12/2018 09:31

You will have no idea how you'll feel or genuinely what you'll want until you're in the situation. My advice would be keep an open mind and maybe stop going on about it to people. It probably comes across as you being judgey if you keep saying you want to do it without pain relief.

LadyOfTheFlowers · 09/12/2018 09:32

I consider myself to have a low pain threshold and my plan was waterbirths with gas and air and if I needed an epidural I would have one but would welcome support to avoid.
I managed on gas and air all 4 times, only two of them in the pool though due to staff shortages.
Good luck! Smile

Sexnotgender · 09/12/2018 09:32

People are arseholes generally to pregnant women, your choice sounds entirely reasonable.

Have you looked at hypnobirthing? I’m 34 weeks and had a frankly horrendous first labour but having done the hypnobirthing course I now fully understand where everything went wrong!

I’m using the positive birth company and highly recommend it.

Original poster
gimmeadoughnut123 · 09/12/2018 09:32

@Cmdrlvanova yeah I'm staying open minded. Like I say, I could get in there and totally change my mind. Even my husband thinks I'm mad! The mobile epidural sounds good, as you knew what was going on. I hate the thought of not knowing when a contraction is coming.

OP posts:
Strawberry2017 · 09/12/2018 09:32

Some women do manage on just gas and air, I think the main thing is to go with the flow and see how you feel at the time.
There are also lots of other options before you go straight to epidural.
Your midwife will have lots of leaflets she can give you.
Main thing to remember is that as much as you can make a plan it's more of just a wish list. Whatever needs to happen will happen. Good luck with whatever you decide to go with. X

ShowOfHands · 09/12/2018 09:33

I think you should just go into it with an open mind. I was determined to do it without pain relief and after 31hrs of enduring it, I was exhausted and traumatised. Because I'd built up pain relief as the enemy/a bad thing, when I needed an emergency section and had to have drugs, I felt like a failure. Second time round I decided to use whatever I needed and despite another long labour at 38hrs, didn't need drugs until a repeat emergency caesarean.

Sirzy · 09/12/2018 09:33

I think although it’s good to know your preferences beforehand it is best to go in with an open mind.

Personally I opted not to have an epidural and I am pleased I did. I would try anything before that - again that’s personal choice enough

Hofuckingho · 09/12/2018 09:34

I had nothing with DC3, not even gas and air. It was a beautiful birth and I bonded with him immediately. See how you get on OP.

Original poster
gimmeadoughnut123 · 09/12/2018 09:35

@Sexnotgender I have read about hypnobirthing but didn't know you could do courses! We are booking on to the NCT ante natal classes so wondering if they will cover this at all? If not I might look in to it.

OP posts:
YeOldeTrout · 09/12/2018 09:35

I thought I had a high pain tolerance until first labour, too.
yanbu. Just see how it goes. Someone I know who rates herself as a total wimp got thru 3 labours with Nothing. She felt no pain at all.

doleritedinosaur · 09/12/2018 09:35

I had those comments with my first before he was born.
He was gas & air until pushing then nothing.
Second was no pain relief but I did hypnobirthing. Hoping third goes the same way.

It’s all what you can deal with.

IStoleThisName · 09/12/2018 09:36

You're not crazy at all. I have a chronic illness too so have a high pain threshold and did both of my first two labours with just gas and air (it was basically attached to my mouth though). With my third I opted for an epidural and it was blissful. I slept through most of it and when it came to pushing I already knew what I was doing from previous births (plus, no ring of fire).

People told me I was crazy for going with just gas and air but I was fine with it. Go in with an open mind as you have back up options for pain relief anyway and good luck!

helterskelter99 · 09/12/2018 09:36

Yes that’s what we all want but you know you can’t plan these things you have to see how it goes at the time

GinIsIn · 09/12/2018 09:36

I think the thing to consider is that you don’t get a medal for pain. If you are ok without pain relief then that’s fine, but there’s nothing wrong with having it. Nobody goes to the dentist hellbent on having an au naturelle route canal, it’s just around birth there’s a weird stigma about pain relief.

ipswichwitch · 09/12/2018 09:38

Keep an open mind, and rule out nothing! I also have a chronic condition and am in pain pretty much constantly. I thought I could handle pain from labour, based on what others told me about how they were wandering about during contractions/in the bath/on birthing balls/whatever.
I was very wrong. I was in so much pain I passed out! Couldnt move even if I wanted to and cried for pain relief (which I never bloody got because the dr was unavailable 🙄).

Every birth is s dofferent experience, so don’t compare too much to what people you know went through. Your needs may well be very different and there’s no shame in needing pain relief, and women should never be judged for having it.

Sexnotgender · 09/12/2018 09:38

The positive birth company is an online course. Costs £40 or so.

It’s incredibly helpful not only teaching you coping techniques but explaining the science behind what your body is doing.

I actually cried listening to it as I wish I’d known about it 15 years ago when I had my daughter. It makes so much sense and took away a lot of my fear about doing it again.

toomanysmallpeoplecallmemom · 09/12/2018 09:39

I don't use any pain relief in labour including gas and air (tried with my first and made me throw up) my last baby was over 10lb keep an open mind and see how you feel!

Drogosnextwife · 09/12/2018 09:39

I had an epidural after 36 hour contractions and within an hour or the epidural my ds was born, it hadn't even sunk in properly, only worked on one side which became apparent when I had my second ds and didn't have time for an epidural because by the time they let me go into the hospital I was 9cms. You will probably be fine without. Good luck.

Dandybelle · 09/12/2018 09:39

I have 2 DD's and had them both just with G&A in a pool and managed fine both times. DD1 was back to back so was a longer labour but still ok. I found that as long as I really focused on my breathing it was bearable, and just relax and keep telling yourself that your body knows what it's doing and just go with it. Good luck!

BroomstickOfLove · 09/12/2018 09:40

There's no rule that says you need to have pain relief in all cases. I had two babies without even getting to the stage where I wanted gas and air. I think the problem comes when either you need pain relief but have become so attached to the idea of a drug free birth that you feel bad OR that you can't get into the labour headspace because of the environment/people around you and so it hurts more than it needs to.

Hypnobirthing is a pretty good idea.

MyKingdomForBrie · 09/12/2018 09:46

I knew I didn't want an epidural and luckily all went smoothly, both born in the pool, ds was too quick even for gas and air!

Chardeemacdennis1 · 09/12/2018 09:47

It's completely normal to not want pain relief.

I didn't want the epidural with my first as it can slow things down apparently and I'm a needle phobe. Unfortunately I had to have an induction and the contractions brought on by the drip were too intense so I ended up with an epidural. The recovery was so long and its horrid not being able to move to pick up your baby after (I was numbed up to the neck).

This time I'm desperate for a natural birth in the pool with just gas and air.

If you can do it without then go for it. If you can't don't worry about it.

BertramKibbler · 09/12/2018 09:51

You can give birth with no pain relief at all, I did, though not by choice. I was told I wasn’t in labour so spent 6 hours at home before racing to the hospital to deliver half an hour later at which point there was no time for anything.

I wouldn’t take pain relief off the table though. Some labours can be very long and very hard. There’s no pride to be found in making yourself suffer!