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Original poster

Am I crazy for not wanting pain relief?

106 replies

gimmeadoughnut123 · 09/12/2018 09:27

I've spoken to a few people regarding my plans for labour. My first choice will be gas and air, in a birthing pool if possible. An epidural is second choice for pain relief but I have said I would prefer to try not to have this.

Don't get me wrong...if I am struggling and it will be better for me and baby then I will have it. But I've heard quite a few stories of people that literally couldn't feel anything when giving birth and didn't even know they were contracting. I've always wanted to have a natural labour and to know I brought a child in to the world, and would find this strange.

I have a very high pain threshold as I am in pain most days with a chronic illness, generally people never know.

The second I say my first choice is just gas and air, I immediately get 'ok then, that will last five minutes' or 'yeah right, good luck with that' which I find a bit crap. Of all of my friends that have had babies, none of them have had pain relief, except for one who asked for it but the epidural wouldn't work for some reason. I'm unsure if people just didn't want it, asked too late, or were encouraged to stick it out when they asked.
Don't get me wrong, it's possible I'm being very naive and will change my mind on the day!

What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
Aragog · 09/12/2018 10:51

Plan for the best case, but be prepared for a harder situation.

So be open minded and willing to change your mind. Go with the flow, and see what actually happens and how you feel at the time. Don't be scared to change your mind either way.

Many of the people who suffer after a labour are those who are determined to labour in a set way, and then feel like they've failed afterwards.

chloechloe · 09/12/2018 10:55

I would really recommend the online course from the Positive Birthing Company too. It’s amazing!

Obviously every birth is different and if you’re in labour for hours or days on end, or your baby is back to back etc etc then you shouldn’t be a martyr and insist on doing it without pain relief.

But, having said that, I really believe that you’re meant to feel the contractions for a reason and that (if you understand the science behind labour) they will help you deliver your baby calmly, safely and naturally. If you do the course this is all really well explained.

I had DC2 and 3 with no pain relief at all (I’m not in the UK and there’s no gas and air here and I couldn’t have an epidural anyway due to having a CS with DC1). Both births were completely manageable using breathing exercises. I really can’t imagine having to push a baby out when you can’t feel anything. Again, if you’re having a difficult labour I don’t knock anybody for having pain relief. I was lucky in that both labours were short and I only had to push 3 times with one and 6 with the other.

What helped for me was beating in mind that a contraction only lasts for 45-60 seconds then you have a 2 minute break (usually). So

chloechloe · 09/12/2018 10:56

Hit post too soon...

... so you only need to concentrate on getting through 60 seconds at a time.

Good luck!

Weneedhelpnow · 09/12/2018 10:59

Haven't time to RTFT but I have had two gas and air birthing pool births and both were lovely experiences.

Dd1 was Pethidine which stopped the contractions and ended with ventouse so really couldn't recommend that.

Ds1 was in a bit of distress and I had an epidural so that could have emergency section if required but delivered ok. Didn't really like it but was alright.

With hindsight you do what you need to at the time. There were concerns about Ds1 that meant gas and air and birth pool were never going to be appropriate.

Similarly with Dd1. Also worth remembering that Gas and Air makes some people sick.

RollerJed · 09/12/2018 11:02

I think you need to rephrase it and say you'll try without pain relief. As this is your first you've no idea

I've had 2 dc. First one the epidural didn't work, then they numbed from the waist down as I needed a ventouse delivery and a fuck load of stituches

Dd2 was gas and air and very quick.

The second birth was way better but I also knew what to expect (and had a 4 hour labour compared to 12 with the first)

CountFosco · 09/12/2018 11:04

Everyone has a different experience and a wait and see plan seems sensible, as does trying waterbirth, gas & air etc before going for an epidural. Have you thought about a TENS machine if you need monitoring and can't have a waterbirth? I thought it was great, worked really for my first two, DS came too quickly for it to work really effectively but still helped (total time for his induced labour 2h something 10 mins from 5 cm to birth).

Mossyhill · 09/12/2018 11:06

Be open minded. Birth rarely goes to plan. I ended up being induced and was kept nil by mouth for 35 hours by the time I’d given birth, gas and air was making me sick on an empty tummy I was exhausted due to no food and I needed something so I took an epidural after 7 hours.
to know I brought a child in to the world whether you have an epidural or not, you will know you’ve given birth.

DelphiniumBlue · 09/12/2018 11:09

Lots of people manage without any pain relief at all - don't assume you'll need it.
Personally, I had no pain relief for any of my 3 births, and that was not me being brave or making a point, I just didn't need it. If you can get in the right headspace, look at each contraction as doing a job, and try to enjoy the experience, you're halfway there..
I had been really upset by the description s and possible side effects of all types of pain relief - the last thing I wanted was having to deal with gas and air making me feel nauseous, or something else affecting my focus and making the job more difficult. But in the event, it wasn't that I had to make a decision about pain relief, it just wasn't necessary.
The only really painful bit was transition, which happens just before you start to push, but it doesn't last for long.
I know I was lucky, but I was lucky 3 times. My mum and aunt had similar labour s, and anecdotally, it seems to be a thing that runs in families, I suppose due to similar pelvic structure or something.
Anyway, my point is, it is possible to manage without pain relief for some people, it is possible to enjoy the experience, and my best t ip is to practice breathing and visualisation techniques. It could still all end up with medical intervention, but it might not!

Spanglyprincess1 · 09/12/2018 11:20

I wanted no pain relief with Ds. My labour was soo fast I didn't get any either as there was no time, barely even had any gas either.
It was awful but most of that was as he was in distress and I wasn't allowed to be off my back and they were very keen for him.to be born as quickly as possible which resulted in a lot of tares. Most importantly he was absolutely fine !
Trust the midwife and doctors and take anything you need but be prepared to change your mind as you have to do what is best for baby. Good luck x

ShowOfHands · 09/12/2018 11:38

A previous poster made a good point. Pain thresholds are irrelevant really as you don't know the level of pain you'll experience. I had one labour with 2.5 minute long contractions (no peak to them) and a 30 second break between them. They hurt like nothing on this planet. This went on for 31 hours with no drugs. I wanted to die. Second labour was 38hrs and only smarted a bit. And I was psychologically ready, used hypnobirthing and was in water. I just had severely malpositioned babies due to an undiagnosed pelvis issue.

KonaMum · 09/12/2018 11:43

I planned a home birth with no pain relief. Unfortunately DS has other plans and was back to back, I laboured for days and ended up with all the drugs under the sun and an emergency c section. However, I don’t think you’re mad for planning for the best possible scenario at all! As long as you won’t give yourself a hard time if anything deviates from that. Have you thought about doing hypnobirthing? Even when things were wildly different from what I’d hoped for I found it really helpful for staying calm and relaxed and in a straightforward Labour I have seen it work beautifully (am also a midwife).

whiteonesugar · 09/12/2018 12:13

I am positively evangelical about hypnobirthing- I had an open mind, was about to have pethidine when they said I was too far along and ended up giving birth to DS using just 2 paracetamol at the beginning of a 13 hour labour. Didn’t like gas and air.

That said, I was open to using pain relief if I needed it but didn’t go in with a ‘give me all the drugs’ attitude which was how I felt before the hypnobirthing course.

I wouldn’t even talk to people about it tbh, just say ‘we’ll see how it goes!’

Choccywoccyhooha · 09/12/2018 12:24

I think you'll be fine. I've given birth three times: 1 with pain relief and 2 without anything. The two without were infinitely better. The sensations are productive, not like normal pain, and help you to be aware of your body and what you need to do. For me, it felt like the pain relief prevented me from feeling in control and from pethidine I ended up with a spinal block and a ventouse delivery, which I put down to not moving around enough because I couldn't feel the need to.

It is a doable pain, it really is. Just think of all the women who have done it before you and do it everyday. Plus if you have a natural analgesia-free birth you get to feel the full rush of hormones afterwards, which is honestly not the most amazing feeling in the world.

Gas and air is quite a personal thing I think. Since people swear by it, for others it makes them feel nauseous.

Have a fabulous birth. You got this!

ReginaPhalange89 · 09/12/2018 12:25

I had absolutely nothing with my second baby , not even gas & air ! And it was amazing. I'd love to do it again. I think it helped that it was so quick though, maybe if I'd been in the birthing centre for longer I'd have asked for some. I did ask for a water birth, my waters broke just as the mw finished filling it. I almost had her at the side ! Stepped in and one push she was out. It was honestly such a great birth.

If you can do without then definitely not crazy. With my first I managed to get to about 7cm before I went in, ended up having pain relief because she was back to back and it was REALLY intense.

Choccywoccyhooha · 09/12/2018 12:29

Oh and two of mine (one with pain relief and one without) were both back-to-back labours and births. Listen to your body, I could tell they were back-to-back, with one I panicked and asked for pain relief, with the other I just reminded myself that this was totally doable and that the sensations were natural and useful.

Water is brilliant- drink lots, have a bath in earlier labour, stand in the shower through contractions, consider a water birth. None of mine were born in water, but I used water in both of my unmedicated births.

Triskaidekaphilia · 09/12/2018 12:45

I'm by no means a martyr when it comes to pain relief but I also tend to get really sick from drugs so I'm unsure what I want. @CmdrIvanova thank you for mentioning mobile epidural, I'd never heard of it and I hope my hospital are able to do it because I'd definitely like one if its a long labour but I'd hate being unable to move around!

Wolfiefan · 09/12/2018 12:52

It’s not impossible to manage with just gas and air. But do your research and consider all the options. I used TENS and later a pool. It’s a massive jump from gas and air to epidural. There are lots of things that can help.
I decided to play it by ear. Thought I might like a water birth but not sure. Wouldn’t rule out an epidural but I was concerned by the increased likelihood of interventions.
Good luck.

Racecardriver · 09/12/2018 12:59

Gas and air doesn’t actually do anything for the pain, it just knocks you out a bit. I’ve had one birth on gas and air and one with an epidural (it was induced so they insisted). There was obviously a difference. I could feel more without the epidural but the epidural birth wasn’t sensationless either (think feeling baby’s shoulders as they cane out vs just feeling contractions). My first bit of advice to anyone giving birth is don’t let the midwives break your waters for you. It doesn’t necessarily work and the pain is a thousand times worse once they break. And if you are planing on an epidural get one as soon as you are in labour. Active labour isn’t actually that painful. It’s the hours before when your cervix is dilating that are intolerable.

Theweasleytwins · 09/12/2018 13:04

I had an epidural- low pain threshold and had been contracting for days. Was so glad of the epidural as could finally sleep for longer than 5 minutes without pain

I will never forget the screams coming from the next room and 'help me' poor lady. Asked the midwives what was wrong and she hadn't had the epidural yet

Theweasleytwins · 09/12/2018 13:06

I'm trying to say I'd never go through labour again without pain relief but anyone who doesn't is impressive to me

DramaAlpaca · 09/12/2018 13:07

I agree with keeping an open mind & going with the flow.

I didn't want an epidural with DC1 but in the end the labour went on so long that I was overwhelmed & just wanted the pain to go away so I had one. Unfortunately it did mean that I couldn't feel to push & ended up with a forceps delivery, but it didn't matter & I was still on cloud nine afterwards.

With DC2 & DC3 the labours were much shorter & I only needed gas & air in the later stages.

alltalknobaby · 09/12/2018 13:08

You are not crazy for wanting no pain relief - as PP have said, your birth, your choice. However pain relief does not take anything away from the birth experience or make women who have it weaker or less powerful. Birth is an incredible thing, however it happens. Modern medicine is there to help - whether you want it or not, you will still be bringing a life into this world, whether with paracetamol, gas and air, epidural or c-section. It's an amazing thing.

Personally I had several epidurals and they all stopped working. I was in so much pain (induction) that I could not feel my contractions or in fact any part of my body. It was traumatic and I wished for death or pain relief. So keep an open mind Grin

bobstersmum · 09/12/2018 13:09

I've had three babies with no pain relief. But I do also suffer pain every day due to a hip condition and sciatica. I have fast labours though! You really have no idea until you're in labour op. Just take it all as it comes, no harm being positive though!

BlueJag · 09/12/2018 13:12

I had 3 with no pain medication at all. As long as you aren't in full labour for too long it's bearable.
I had all of them in under 4 hours but contractions for many more hours before but I was just uncomfortable not I full blown pain.
I've done it so obviously it can be done but see how it goes on the day. We all experience labour in a different way.

EdWinchester · 09/12/2018 13:13

You need to keep an open mind.

I was determined to have no drugs. In my first labour (back to back), the escalation of pain frightened me and I asked for an epidural, but was too late to have one. I was glad in the end but so nearly ended up with a very medicalised birth.

My second labour was really easy and I didn't even think about drugs.

Having said that, I think I might be the only woman I know that had completely drug free births. It's not the norm, imo.