Am I crazy for not wanting pain relief?

[gimmeadoughnut123]

I've spoken to a few people regarding my plans for labour. My first choice will be gas and air, in a birthing pool if possible. An epidural is second choice for pain relief but I have said I would prefer to try not to have this.

Don't get me wrong...if I am struggling and it will be better for me and baby then I will have it. But I've heard quite a few stories of people that literally couldn't feel anything when giving birth and didn't even know they were contracting. I've always wanted to have a natural labour and to know I brought a child in to the world, and would find this strange.

I have a very high pain threshold as I am in pain most days with a chronic illness, generally people never know.

The second I say my first choice is just gas and air, I immediately get 'ok then, that will last five minutes' or 'yeah right, good luck with that' which I find a bit crap. Of all of my friends that have had babies, none of them have had pain relief, except for one who asked for it but the epidural wouldn't work for some reason. I'm unsure if people just didn't want it, asked too late, or were encouraged to stick it out when they asked.
Don't get me wrong, it's possible I'm being very naive and will change my mind on the day!

What are your thoughts?

Who is asking? I don’t remember anyone ever asking me what pain relief I was planning, and I’m 38 weeks with number 3.
I had my first with gas and air, and nothing with my second as I realised it did nothing except give me a dry mouth. I went in with an open mind both times. I will go in with an open mind with my third too... if it’s like my last 2 labours I don’t anticipate needing pain relief. If it’s more painful, I’ll cross that bridge when it comes to it.

I think it's fair enough to have some ideas about what you'd like in an ideal world. But I also think you also need to remember that they don't hand out medals for suffering either. And don't beat yourself up as a "failure" if the birth doesn't go exactly according to your plan.

Good luck op!

I had 2 planned home deliveries (one a vbac) with gas and air and a tens machine. I'd have hated to be confined to a bed in labour. I had to go into hospital with dd2 as she was an undiagnosed breech and it was awful compared to my experience with dd1. I didn't do it myself but I've heard hyponobirthing is great. I armed myself with loads of info on labour and birth so knew from a physiological point of view what was going on which really helped me. Staying calm and mobile if possible is key. I found it excruciatingly painful but the gas and air helped so much.
Good luck and ignore the doubters!

I had a water birth and only had gas and air for a short time... it was amazing and much better than my first Labour which was very long and I had diamorphine!

I tore but healed quickly. Never say never but my experience of a water birth with a little gas and air was amazing!

Has and air made me vomit so I just stuck to a Tens machine both times.
First labour long and arduous, second easy and quick. In both cases the Tens allowed me to remain alert and strong (at least that's what I believe after the event!). Go for it.

I had one birth with all the pain relief! ''Twas lovely. Didn't feel the contractions but so what, a birthbus just a means to an end. A beautiful baby.

Second birth I had no pain relief as it was too quick. Hurt like hell but over quickly. Still got a beautiful baby at the end of it.

In conclusion, it doesn't matter either way, it's a few hours out of your life.

All births are different. After 5 I had two epidurals and two with nothing at all. You can't make that decision until you
Know how the labour progresses. Ironically my 5th was the hardest!

Everyone is so judgy to pregnant women.

I had 2 labours with gas & air. I wanted to avoid an epidural if possible but would have had pethidine on the first if I’d been able to. So the pain relief roughly followed my plan (other things didn’t).
But if things had been different I’d have had an epidural and don’t blame anyone for having one straight away. A couple of friends had pain relief that they hadn’t planned on and sadly seemed to think they were wrong for ‘cracking’ which is a huge shame - they carried and delivered healthy babies. It’s a huge achievement whatever the details.

I’ve found people be a bit dismissive and had someone say to me ‘oh well you must have had a low pain labour to not have asked for an epidural’. Errr no. It was a choice I made. No one but you will really know what your birth is like.

Do what you feel right, be prepared to change what you need and never judge yourself or allow anyone else to judge you for it.

I had no pain relief, not even gas. It was fine for an ordinary labour (6 hours at hospital, a few hours at home). I wanted to be in control, something I wasn't the first time round because that stuff makes you feel crazy! Just be flexible because things happen, be prepared on medical advice to change your mind.

I think you may be touching a nerve when you say things like ‘I've always wanted to have a natural labour and to know I brought a child in to the world, and would find this strange.’ pain relief or not, vaginal or c-section, you’re bringing a baby into the world so that does come across as judgemental.

It’s good to keep an open mind, I’d planned on a water birth with DD using gas and air, by the time I’d got to the hospital I was begging for an epidural (I also have a very high pain threshold, but childbirth is a whole different ball game) but laboured too quickly (that and the hospital being understaffed so emergencies getting priority for the anaesthetist).

No one will know what your labour and birth are like except for you, when you’re pregnant people think that it’s fair game to be overly opinionated about anything you do or say. Good luck with your baby :)

I think I probably have a fairly high pain threshold and managed fine without pain relief for two labours. I loved my tens machine first time around, didn’t get around to using it with dc2.

I’m expecting dc3 in a few weeks and assume the most I’ll use is tens again but I’d never rule anything out. No doubt a lot depends on baby’s position and other factors.

If it’s a straightforward birth you’ll probably be fine but keep an open mind and don’t rule things out. It’s horrible to have a rigid plan and feel somehow you’ve failed if things work out differently.

Definitely keep an open mind, don't get too hung up on birth plans as they can change in a heartbeat.

It's fine saying you have a high pain threshold, I'd say I do too, but you've no idea how painful labour is lol not trying to scare you , I'm sure you're well aware it hurts. But it's like nothing else , it's hard to describe and even when you've had a baby before, you forget what the pain is like until your in the midst of it again !

I had an induction. No pain relief here either. I'd gone to antenatal yoga, and played music. Main thing was that I was standing up most of it and then gave birth on all fours rather than on my back. Think gravity helped as well as it being an hour and half of active labour. If it'd gone on for hours, I'd have wanted to sleep between contractions

It's fine to have preferences, as others say, just be open to the idea of accepting that plans may just depending on how things progress/circumstances beyond your control.

I had similar plans to you. I got through most of labour at home with no pain relief, just breathing, walking etc (was 10cm dilated when I got to the hospital), but labour then stalled a bit and by the time DD actually turned up, 8 hours later, I'd have had every drug going if they'd let me.

Just to re-iterate my point (sorry for being boring, it’s something I feel v strongly about!): how much pain relief you want and how much pain you feel is probably not that much to do with your “mindset” or “pain threshold”. Births vary from ‘sneeze it out’ through to ‘suicidal death grip’.

So in some sense advice from other people isn’t that helpful, as it really just tells you what kind of birth they happened to have.

There are so many things that can happen before you even go into labour that might affect your choices. I wanted to try tens, water, gas and air, epidural in that order but my waters broke, 24 hours passed so no water was allowed, went in for induction so agreed in advance to epidural, but the pessary brought on such a fast labour that I ended up with nothing but the tens and about 5 puffs of gas and air. There was very little "choice"!

It's great you have a plan. Hopefully it'll all go well. But don't ever be ashamed to accept/ask for pain relief.

I’ve laboured twice with only gas and air but those were ‘normal’ labours, not back to back like my first. The pain of a back to back delivery is something else, I soldiered on for twelve hours without an epidural but in the end I just couldn’t cope. I have a high pain threshold too but there was only so much of constant contractions I could cope with.

The two labours that weren’t back to back were totally bearable with only gas and air. I didn’t even bother going to hospital until I was 9cm with dc2 so had no pain relief. They were all ten pound babies as well. It’s totally doable, I think it’s a mindset.

It's entirely possible. First I used the tens machine and nothing else as I couldn't get the hang of gas and air. We did a Hypnobirthing course and it was invaluable.
Second (an induction) I used the tens, Hypnobirthing and gas and air (had the hang of it that time). I'll be honest, if my labours has been longer I may have opted for more relief in order to get some rest but I go quickly - less than 8 hours from first contraction to delivery for both kids.

I would personally not dream of it without pain relief but it's all about personal choice isn't it. Was speaking to a friend today who did hypno birthing and had both her babies at home - which means very minimal pain relief. I can imagine if you're used to pain you might cope better with it than most? Your body your choice.

I don't think you are mad to consider it, but as with all pregnancies and births I would equally not have anything to set in stone, Hingis change, and you might decide the pain is too much for you, and it's useful to know what your options are. Personally I didn't like the woozy feeling has and air have me when I had my first, my second baby was born with no pain relief, back to back and the most uncomfortable bit was the stitching up.

I just had gas and air with my first and it was long and difficult at the end. With my second I didn't have anything, just used mindful breathing techniques. See how you go and be prepared if you want more. Your choice

There is nothing wrong with not wanting pain relief, but I do think a open mind is important TBH. Knowing now labour will go is impossible.

I had a drip induction in the end and used a TENS machine, and it was great. Although my induction was relatively quick, if it had been a very lengthy process I can definitely have foreseen myself needing something more as it was very intense! I did ask for an epidural actually, but it turns out that was during transition "madness" and I was actually fully dilated.

There's no medal for suffering and no shame in wanting pain relief during labour.

@coffeekittens I think I phrased that badly in my post. The condition I have was leaving me worried I couldn't have kids, so for me, I want to soak up every bit of the experience. I'm having a child and personally would like to know how it feels to give birth without as much intervention- in case it takes us a long time to fall pregnant again. That being said, I have no issues with any other options. I just want to experience it. I know it might not go that way, it took my Mum a long time to have us and she had to have c sections every time. At the end of it, I will be grateful to have a baby that I have wanted for so long. That's the main thing.

Three babies. No pain relief. (Didn’t get a medal or badge either). But my advice would be stay home as long as possible. Keep moving. Listen to your body and trust that your body knows what to do. Try not to analyse everything happening. Let that part of your brain switch off and let your body take over. Try not to be scared, fear is a great inhibitor of labour, let the people around you look after you, choose your birthing support people carefully, make sure you are comfortable having them there, and that they are prepared to support you. Try not to read the birth horror stories.

this is not a recipe which will guarantee you do not require intervention. Sometimes intervention is lifesaving and very necessary, but it is a very good place to start, and to keep your mindset positive.