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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Am I crazy for not wanting pain relief?

106 replies

gimmeadoughnut123 · 09/12/2018 09:27

I've spoken to a few people regarding my plans for labour. My first choice will be gas and air, in a birthing pool if possible. An epidural is second choice for pain relief but I have said I would prefer to try not to have this.

Don't get me wrong...if I am struggling and it will be better for me and baby then I will have it. But I've heard quite a few stories of people that literally couldn't feel anything when giving birth and didn't even know they were contracting. I've always wanted to have a natural labour and to know I brought a child in to the world, and would find this strange.

I have a very high pain threshold as I am in pain most days with a chronic illness, generally people never know.

The second I say my first choice is just gas and air, I immediately get 'ok then, that will last five minutes' or 'yeah right, good luck with that' which I find a bit crap. Of all of my friends that have had babies, none of them have had pain relief, except for one who asked for it but the epidural wouldn't work for some reason. I'm unsure if people just didn't want it, asked too late, or were encouraged to stick it out when they asked.
Don't get me wrong, it's possible I'm being very naive and will change my mind on the day!

What are your thoughts?

OP posts:
33goingon64 · 09/12/2018 09:52

inform yourself of all the options then see how you are when it happens. With DS1 I wanted a pool but the contractions were so frequent and painful I opted for pethidine which meant i couldn't go in the pool (it's not safe as you feel drunk). Then with DS2 I went straight in the pool as I was already approaching active labour as we arrived and when gas and air was offered I genuinely didn't want it. I don't know why, it wasn't a rational decision, I just didn't want it and the warm water in the pool saw me through.

Canders · 09/12/2018 09:53

I was like you and sure I didn't want pain relief if possible. I guess to some degree I wanted to prove to myself that I was strong enough to do it... I also didn't want to fill myself up with drugs.

I did manage with gas and air but it was hard. I didn't get the option of a pool though.

Carlat86 · 09/12/2018 09:55

I think keep an open mind regarding pain relief. You just don’t know how you’ll feel on the day.
With my DS I too was adamant that I would have a fully natural birth... the boy had other ideas. He was back to back so ended up with a full spinal and forceps delivery.
Nothing wrong with wanting to do it without pain relief - do what’s best for you to have the best experience possible xx

PetuliaBlavatsky · 09/12/2018 09:56

Urgh, I hated the scoffing that you get from people! I had home water births and beforehand people would do exactly that - 'yeah right' comments.
My labours genuinely weren't that painful and apart from having gas and air first time, the others I didn't need any pain relief. I wasn't being a martyr in any way, they just weren't that bad.

Thesearmsofmine · 09/12/2018 09:57

After my first birth(I had planned a natural labour with maybe gas and air but it turned into a c section under general anaesthetic) I realised the best plan was to just go with the flow instead of making set plans.

Labour and birth is so different for everyone, you may have a smooth easy birth with no pain relief, you may have a long labour where after contracting for days you are exhausted and need relief. Basically you just don’t know until you are there!

Good luck OP!

Original poster
gimmeadoughnut123 · 09/12/2018 09:58

Thanks all. Really helpful replies. I think one or two people think I am shaming people who have paid relief - that's not the case at all. This is my first baby so I don't know what to expect but just wanted to discuss my preferences.
@Sexnotgender I will definitely do the course! Thank you.

I think as you all say, as long as I go in with an open mind. I know a birthing plan is never a plan, more of a wishlist that they try to follow but normally can't.

OP posts:
lightlypoached · 09/12/2018 10:01

birthing is so individual. I managed my second (9 pounder, born at home) with TENS and a bit of gas and air right at the end (he came very quickly so the midwife only arrived 10 mins before DS did). only a 2 hour labour though - but I was at home (planned), relaxed and psychologically ready. It was a beautiful experience.

my first was in hospital and I had too much pain relief (I bowed down to the medics rather than listening to my own instincts - I too have long term illness so go into 'patient' mode as soon as I'm in hospital!) and had gas and air, pethidine (off my tits - marvellous!) and an epidural. They all slowed down the birth and meant I was strapped to the bed - not what my body wanted to do at all. but she arrived safe and well, which is the main aim, right?

I'd say, keep an open mind, be assertive as you can in labour. prepare well - breathing and yoga, and go with the flow when the time comes. You will know what is right for you and it will be amazing.

how very exciting!

lightlypoached · 09/12/2018 10:02

oops, cross post!

E20mom · 09/12/2018 10:08

I did it with 2 paracetamol. I was used to painful periods and it was just the same as that.

3out · 09/12/2018 10:09

Our local hospital doesn’t do epidurals, just G&A, and maybe morphine (can only think of one friend who had the morphine). Unless you have a section, literally everyone who gives birth here does so on gas and air. It’s not that weird. If you were having your baby here then your birth plan would be absolutely normal.

FairfaxAikman · 09/12/2018 10:09

Keep an open mind - I didn't want an epidural and I managed fine on gas and air initially but DS turned back to back and I just wasn't prepared for how much the pain suddenly ramped up. That's the point I requested an epidural.

MasterSensei · 09/12/2018 10:10

I hate the thing people say 'you wouldn't have a tooth drilled without pain relief why would you have a baby without it' I had one woman tell me she thought women who refused epidurals were martyrs and idiotic.

I had a tens machine for a couple hours then tried gas and air for an hour in the poor. Did all the pushing and delivery with no pain relief and it was great. My contractions were in my back and bloody awful but once the pushing started I didn't feel that much pain... Until the head and I tore in both directions 😂

Your body your pain your choice!

CoatTails · 09/12/2018 10:10

I’ve had four DCs with paracetamol and gas and air. Worked fine for me!
Keep an open mind though.
To be honest, when you’re in the middle of labour, you will no longer care about all of your carefully thought through plans!

PeonyTruffle · 09/12/2018 10:11

I thought I would want/need ALL the pain relief because I'm a wimp but I did the whole thing on 2 paracetamol. Not even gas and air.

I don't think it was that bad either tbh. Ignore all the people mocking your ideas, people love scaring pregnant women for some reason.

Caprisunorange · 09/12/2018 10:13

I think it’s really really common to not want pain relief. After all most of us aren’t women who are experts in pharmaceuticals, most of us don’t have any experience of extreme pain or the use of pain relief. I personally know very few people who went into their first labour wanting a certain pain relief. Most women just decide to see how it goes

motortroll · 09/12/2018 10:14

Not crazy for not wanting it. Epidurals give a higher chance of assisted birth. It does depend on how your labour goes and you need to be open minded.

I've had 3 on gas and air and tens and it's perfectly doable.

I'd recommend hypnoborthing and yoga techniques (I was a complete sceptic but wow!)

I actually accidentally had the firs without other pain relief as I was asking for it but I was too late so after that I just decided to get on with it and it also meant I could have 2 subsequent home births.

It's not mad to not want it, but be open minded.

SheHasNotions · 09/12/2018 10:19

It’s perfectly reasonable that with a first birth your preferences will be for low intervention and as ‘natural’ as possible. And you may well get this experience - I know plenty of people who have had relatively straightforward labours with no pain relief needed.

I think going in with an open mind is key, though, as others have said. None of us gave any idea, really, how our bodies will manage labour or how we will cope with the pain. I wanted a water birth with as little as possible intervention with my first baby, and ended up with an emergency c-section. You just can’t predict what will happen.

Starlight456 · 09/12/2018 10:21

I did Labour with gas and air.

I had a plan if that didn’t work.

If I had another baby I would take the same approach.

Not only is it different for different people but each birth is different.

I would also add if I had an epidural that is no reflection on myself just what I needed

OnlyFoolsnMothers · 09/12/2018 10:22

Open mind is the best way- I did just gas and air, got in the pool and bloody hated it, back to the bed I went. You just don’t know till you’re in the thick of it...having said that there’s no way in hell I’d have another natural birth, they best stab we with every needle possible.

Donthaveanotion1 · 09/12/2018 10:27

The hospital where I had my babies (eldest is 5.5) didn’t offer epidurals so that wasn’t an option. I had a shot of pethidine and gas and air and it was fine. It can absolutely be done without an epidural imo.

Luckystar1 · 09/12/2018 10:27

I had 2 water births with no pain relief at all. I thought I had a low pain threshold, but it turns out I didn’t need pain relief.

I did keep an open mind though going in to the labours but thankfully they were both very straightforward (and the reason, amongst many others, why I will not be having another 😂)

Good luck with it all! Remember the main thing is that the baby arrives safely for both of you.

Lindtnotlint · 09/12/2018 10:29

People have a tendency to think that their birth is representative and that the level of pain relief is related to how “strong” they were. Honestly it isn’t like that - different births are different. Some really are like very painful periods. Some are like “I want to die now please feel free to kill me and my baby”. (I have had both). Without knowing which you are going to have any decisions about pain relief can not really be final! Smile

shecamefromgreece · 09/12/2018 10:30

I think you're taking a sensible view. Go in with an open mind see how you go and don't close your mind to anything. As you said you are a first time mum and you don't know what to expect so just go with the flow.
I've had four babies the first I was similar to you didn't know what to expect but felt like I didn't want an epidural but wasn't completely closed to it. I ended up having g and a and a bit of pethedine.
I was induced with my second and was recommended to have a epidural so I tried without for a bit but then had one. It was really really good I could feel every contraction and when I needed to push it was a very calm birth.
I enjoyed it so much that I had epidural with the next two (another induction and a "natural" birth)
Chat with your midwife and ignore the people who tell you horror stories!,

n0ne · 09/12/2018 10:38

I didn't want medical pain relief so had two home water births (no birthing pools in hospitals where I live). Best decision I ever made. You will manage, millions of women do. Do lots of research on breathing techniques and labouring positions and counter-pressure etc. You'll find that invaluable.

Steelesauce · 09/12/2018 10:38

Everyone says they don't want pain relief. Most people have something though. I said it all 3 times that I was going to do it without then was crying for an epidural every time. My labour's are quick though so I've never managed one!