Catching up with those from TTC thread

[MrsC87]

Just wanted to catch up with everyone from the TTC thread. I know some of us have July due dates and others August due dates, so wanted to check in with you all!
How are you all doing?
@Delilah7 @Crossfitgirl @RanchoRelaxo @sunshine1987 @SullyWifey
Sorry if I have forgotten anyone, please add them in ❤️

@canonlyhopexo don't get me wrong he's been taking control of the house since this sickness. I'm managing to help with cleaning but no cooking at all.
I'm just scared we won't get through this pregnancy. I feel so alone.

@Delilah7 I get sick pay and I'm worried that people will be thinking I'm just taking advantage of that but I've got to put me and the baby first and at the moment it's just not manageable for me to be at work. Focus on what's best for you and don't worry about anything else to do with work. Re your other half, I'm sorry he's not being very understanding and telling you to grow up etc. It must be so disheartening. Have you tried confiding in your midwife who may be able to suggest things that will help? It is horrible experience and feeling lonely is awful but you've got us to chat to x

@delilah7 just take the sick days you need. Why should you reduce your hours and get paid less when you aren't actually well enough to stay in work?
I get sick pay, and being pregnant means they don't count on my sickness record as its pregnancy related. My manager suggested I take annual leave to reduce my hours if I wasn't well enough to work full days... Well sorry but fuck that. Use up all my holidays to feel ill at work, so I can't actually enjoy any actual days off when I'm better, in order to stay in work and struggle through while feeling like shit to account for not being well enough to get through a full day!?? Take the full sick pay and take the time off you need to rest.
Work is not as important as your health and your baby. Nobody will thank you for doing yourself in for trying to go in and keep working... They will manage until you feel right enough to go in!

I've learnt this after years of trying to power through when genuinely ill at work, basically as I felt bad on my colleagues, and ending up making myself worse or taking more time off as a result. And actually... Nobody bothers when you do go in. Nobody gives you a medal for powering through, it's just oh you are back now yay here's your normal work load off you go! Lol.
I feel quite strongly about this, surely your work would rather you look after your health than have you come in and make yourself ill?
Take the sick pay and the time off! It's not like you're not genuinely poorly, HG and pregnancy sickness is horrendous. You would never go to work like that if you weren't pregnant? Why should you just because you are?

@canonlyhopexo I just don't wanna run before I can walk... :(
No I haven't. I see her on the 30th and could do. I've got a good support with my mum and dad and talk to them about the issues but it just causes opinions they and me don't need at the moment. Xx

@Delilah7 family especially your own will only want the best for you and to hear your partners maybe not being as supportive as he could be probably does cause negative opinion but i totally get why you'd talk to them. I tell my mum absolutely everything we're really close and i think I would even have trouble confiding in her if my DP was being a bit of a knob at such a delicate time such as this. Mention it to your mw and see what she says as you don't want it to spiral or be something that's effecting you mentally when you're being so brave with everything else that's going on. I'm hoping you feel better soon and things begin to ease xx

@canonlyhopexo thank you my lovely. I think I probably will. I'm hoping I'm just overthinking and my hormones are going haywire xxx

@Delilah7 don't be too hard on yourself. You're doing a fab job - you got this, Mama. Tomorrow is a new day 😘 xx

@canonlyhopexo you babe xxxx

@Delilah7 sorry to hear you are still feeling wiped. I think work places are required to look at reasonable adjustments. Could you ask about working from home to help with commute a few days a week or a temporary reduction of hours with a phased return to full before the point kicks in that counts towards mat pay?

@mrsof20118 is that possible??? Xx

@Crossfitgirl here here sista. Can we lob Theresa May into the atmosphere and have you instead? Totally agree with everything you said. I think I might screenshot and re read on the days that I have "time off work guilt". Am I right in thinking you work for nhs? X

In other news. My MIL made "calories" comments on three occasions at the weekend when I was eating. Maybe I'm overly sensitive due to hormones but surely you don't say that to a pregnant woman?

@Delilah7 I think so but could be work place dependent. I have left for the day but will check guidelines tomorrow that we have. I have had to do similar adjustments for employees in my team before for mental health related issues such as depression and I'm sure pregnancy is covered as well.

@mrsof20118 I'd appreciate that hun x

Hey all. Hope Monday treated you well?!?
So, nausea hit me this morning. Felt a bit funny in the shower and when I got out, had to be sick. Felt pretty sick most of the day and really don't feel like eating anything which is tough because DH will come home and ask me how much fruit I've had and force feed me broccoli.

I wouldn't mind too much normally but this is a busy week and I had to drive to Wales today with a plastic bag on my lap. Then got a flat tyre on the way home and spent an hour on the hard shoulder. Back to normal next week though so can work from home a bit hopefully.

Apparently due 18th or 19th Sept. My app says I'm week 6 day 7 although I'm still not sure that makes sense.

How far in advance of the birth are you supposed to book your NCT classes?

Also, what's the general consensus regarding colouring your hair? I'm booked in on Monday but no sure if I have to wait until after the first twelve weeks.

@canonlyhopexo yes I'm in the NHS. @mrsof20118 @delilah7 we have a pregnancy risk assessment we have to do at work on all pregnant women and we have to make adjustments needed for the health of the mother and baby. Have a look at your policy @delilah7 if you have one? Hope you are going to heed advice and sack off the unnecessary working? Don't do it to yourself!

Next time DP has a hangover and is throwing up tell him to get the fuck on with life. Lol. On a serious note, I think it's really hard to understand until you're in the situation. I never thought MS would be anything like this at all, and DH tries to understand but doesn't fully get it. I still have to explain to him how I'm feeling and that I'm exhausted and feel sick a lot, and over and over again I have to say how if I don't rest and do nothing on an evening, I basically won't make it through work the next day. He does understand, but unless I reiterate regularly he tends to forget, and as soon as I stop moaning he expects me to be fine and get on with it. When actually I just wanted to give him a break from me moaning!
Keep telling him how you feel and explain that not being sick doesn't mean you feel OK!
Xxx

@zoomies1 Google says its fine. I'm getting mine done next week anyway lol.
Also I booked my NCT classes at about 5 weeks to make sure I got on the one I wanted, but I think most people wait until after the dating scan. X

@FivexFive I said that (no symptoms) and was convinced I wasn't getting any and bang on 6 weeks I've got them all. Feeling dizzy at times and like I've been a rollercoaster. Can't each much without feeling sick and very bloated.
We are telling close friends and family. Have told most of them but got a few left - just waiting until I see them all. So nice to tell them! I agree with @Crossfitgirl we told those who we would want there for support. Through the good and bad. Not told anyone at work though but I'm fortunate as the boss I'm able to leave when I want etc although I don't take the piss either.

Omg @Crossfitgirl you must have needed a wee so much!!! Could you wee a little and stop?!

Sorry to hear your DH isn't being very helpful and supportive @Delilah7. It's hard to explain to people how this feels. Have you tried just sitting down with him? Is this your first? He needs to understand you don't want to be like this as much as he doesn't want you to be like this. It's a two way stream and especially when the baby comes.

@MrsLBear @Crossfitgirl that's the thing I know when I'm not pregnant anymore he will be back to who I know I guess which is the same for me. Pregnancy has changed me due to the sickness and how I'm feeling/moodiness. Also changed him as he's frustrated a lot probably that I'm not well enough to do much.
Thanks for your advice ladies. I'll reply properly another time I'm just gonna go sleep xx

What do you ladies make of this?
I got my scan date through today finally and also DP picked up my maternity notes from the GP which is where I had my booking appointment with the midwife. I had a quick read through it and there's a fair bit of incorrect information. Eg the phone telephone number is the landline for my parents house which I haven't lived at for a couple of years and I did explain this at the appointment and gave the correct numbers for a landline. Also said I've had eczema (never have done?) haven't had an anaesthetic before (I have done - only recently in September which i again did explain) and also that I was advised to have a chlamydia screening done (I definitely was not advised to do this!?)
How is there so much of it that is wrong and do I need to point all this out? I can't imagine it's irrelevant info or it wouldn't be asked.

@delilah7, definitely check your works policy on maternity etc. Hopefully your partner will get it if you say it enough times about feeling rough xx

@crossfitgirl for prime minister!! 🙂

Ok so we've told my parents, brother and sis in law now. Omg my dad will need monitoring, he got really excited and asked who he can tell?!! I said he can tell the guys at his work, because whatever... so they're in for s fun week 😀 We need to skype dhs parents but I'll him decide when.

@canonlyhopexo, I'd definitely let them know they've got bits wrong! I'd also double check stuff going forward just in case, but I'm a bit ocd!! Xx

@canonlyhopexo it sounds like they have your notes mixed up with someone else. Either that or they seriously have not listened. In any case, take them back and tell them they are completely wrong... That's really dangerous. Imagine if you had a drug allergy and it was on there wrong... That's really really worrying.
I'd actually be making a complaint if that was me. Especially if you'd already pointed out the phone number. Your maternity notes should be 100% accurate!
Sorry sound a bit OTT but if I got patient notes that wrong, I'd be in deep shit and an incident form would be put in and all sorts.

@FivexFive yeah I wanna check everything now! @Crossfitgirl I do have a drug allergy! Can't have penicillin but that is on there correctly.

This is the same mw btw who told me I would poach my own baby, asked me halfway through my booking in appointment if I would have made a decision on something by the end of the appointment, and also told me that my baby would get spina bifida because I wasn't taking any prenatals because i was throwing them all back up again with hyperemisis...