AIBU to be annoyed at how genderist even baby clothing is?

[Monipop84]

We are over the moon to be expecting our fist child, a little girl, in April :) Complicit the Black Friday sales, I have been doing a bit of online shopping over the weekend. I am amazed by how many websites still have baby (infant!) clothing divided into "boys" and "girls" categories, which I honestly find ridiculous. Why should a Peter Rabbit babygro be for boys only? Or a space babygro? There are a few "gender neutral" shops out there (Mori makes good stuff) but they are so expensive. To be clear, I am not ostracising the odd pink top or cute shirt, but I am keen on raising my little girl without many stereotypes and I am seeing that so much of girl stuff is still so twee and frilly and has terrible slogans on it.

Agreed. I get a mix of boys and girls stuff for my 3 dd.

It annoys me but there is no barrier to buy boys shirts for your girl.

Mine DD wears a mix and sometimes gets mistaken for a boy.

@Rhynswynd of course, I can still get the space babygros if I want to, I am just annoyed at the fact they are labelled and categorised in the first place

Agree and enjoy it while you can. I had very neutral stuff up to 6-9 where DD's preference for pink became apparent.

Have just about managed to avoid tacky slogans but now 3yo DD would like some pink car/dinosaur/space clothes please!

This division is a recent phenomenon and was driven by those who wanted to sell more baby clothes. Basically by planting an idea of the sexes wanting/having different styles, so you buy twice rather than hand down.

It didn't happen until the very end of the last century, as people did not have the disposable income and items were made to last (people owned much less and had far fewer clothes) and would be handed down not just between siblings but round cousins too.

Then it even became a tide of pinkification of non-clothes items too. I think it's a shame because it is wasteful. The tide is however turning, because of both pay freezes and also general increase in thriftiness and turning away from short-use items

@AuntieStella you are so right, I like your analysis. In a way society has gone backwards in this respect.

I feel the same about children's clothes in general. I have 2 DDs, both wore the same clothes as babies not genderfree but not all pink either and I too hated all the twee and frilly options for girls and avoided. but at about 4 my oldest became aware of the difference and only wanted to wear "boys clothes" as she put it. At first I thought it was she was like me,I never wear skirts, always jeans, don't do high heels etc. However when my second DD started to express her opinion in clothes, she only wants to wear pink, princess, sparky clothes! They have both been bought up in the same way so I struggle to understand how they are so different! It has made me think it's nature not nurture. So I guess my point is as an adult I'm annoyed at the gender sterotypes that exist in children's clothes and hate the message it gives to boys and girls. But I feel they will make their own choices regardless of what is offered to them, given how my DDs think.

I really think we over analyse this as adults. I wouldn’t purposely pick clothes from the “boys” section for my DD just to prove i don’t see gender. Just because you buy your dd a babygro that says ‘Pretty as a flower’ doesn’t mean you don’t raise them to know they are also courageous and brave and can be anything they want to be. Buy what you like

I don’t think we overanalyse at all.

I personally believe that this new wave of TRA bollox stems from children/babies having the pink/blue gender divide forced upon them from conception. They think that they have to be non-binary because marketing makes everything look so bloody binary!

YANBU OP. I loathe it also. And aesthetically, I don’t want my toddler and young primary aged boys in black, blue or grey because they are children!

Yes, it's damn annoying. I just want to see all the babygrows at once, not search through two different sections.

I also really hate the obvious difference in colours used when children get older. While there are non-gendered options, you really have to search - on first glance the entire girl section is pink, the boy section is sludge. I don't like pink or sludge colours

You are right op, but it gets worse. At least with baby clothes everything is basically the same shape - a babygro is a babygrow. Before 24 months you can shop in both the pink aisle and the blue aisle and will find a few bits here and there that seem properly ungendered. For older children the distinctions get much wider. Trousers in the girl section have embroidered butterflies or unicorns and buttons shaped like a flower to prove they are not boy trousers. Every tshirt and top in the girl section has little flounces and ruffles.

There are some pink dinosaur tshirts out there though.

People going out of their way to avoid pink for a girl or blue for a boy seems just as unnecessary.
Today my LO is wearing a pink bodysuit with my nephews old sludgy green tracksuit bottoms, I really doubt she or I care.

My dd are 8, 3 and, 10 months. For my 8 year old I buy boys jeans because all the girls are skinny leg to the point she can not get her feet through them.
For all of them I buy what I like mostly. They get some choice and it is often very pink and girly for dd8 as I think she is heavily influenced by her peers as well as her own choice. This then filters down to dd3 who just wants to be like her big sister. But she has all pj mask clothes for each character because she wanted them so we had to buy from boys section. Why all characters from the same show aren't in the same area, I don't know. Jeans should just have fit descriptors. T-shirts should all be together. No sex segregation needed.
I have it and do complain about it often. I didn't mean to be dismissive of the issue in my earlier post, sorry op

@OnlyFoolsnMothers I don't think it's a matter of avoiding pink or blue. It's shocking how many glaring differences there are between "girl clothes" and "boy clothes". They fit differently (girls clothing is a lot more snug), the quality often differs (apparently boy clothes are sturdier and less flimsy, the details are sooo gender coded (flowers instead of buttons for girls, ribbons and frills everywhere). And don't let me even start on the symbolism that perpetuates so many stereotypes (girls are pretty, boys like adventures and so on). It's not just a matter of choosing colours.

I always feel a bit guilty about this because I know if I'd had a DD I'd have been all about smashing stereotypes and buying her dinosaur sleepsuits etc from the boys section. But I had a DS and I always have a quick look in the girls section too but I never buy from it because it is always wall-to-wall pink frills and so he ends up in very gendered clothes.

Though even so I got a mum at a baby group recently saying 'oh, you've put him in girls' clothes, poor little thing!' - apparently the grey woollen legging type things I'd put him in were for girls? They're much more comfortable for him than loose 'trouser' type things, which ride up everywhere on little people who can't stand up.

@Lisasimpsonsbff don't feel guilty, it's normal not to be over keen on all those twee frills. Never heard about gender specific leggings - wow, this is a new one!

I've bought a lot online, sometimes I just want some plain t shirts or trousers that complement one of her patterned items of clothing

Some interesting points OP about the cut etc of clothes. I am genuinely interested in this next question, at what age do you think it’s ok to have different styles and cuts for male and females?

I think most parents like gendered clothes - I don't but I find there are lots of things out there - you just have to search a bit. H&M is the best on the high street. Dd is 6 and really doesn't like pink but is girlie in a sporty way , Ds is 4 and likes bright colours and the baby gets what I like (bright leggings and jumpers). I agree some shops esp supermarkets are a sea of blue/grey vs pink but plenty are not.

I agree some shops esp supermarkets are a sea of blue/grey vs pink but plenty are not.

What I find annoying is that baby clothes are much more gendered the cheaper they are, in general. The extortionate Scandi stuff and a lot of expensive baby brands are much more neutral, but if you don't want to spend a lot then it's all either blue or pink. Weirdly the same is true of adult sportswear - expensive brands make neutral coloured stuff for women, but if you buy cheap the women's stuff is all hot pink for no apparent reason.

The extortionate Scandi stuff and a lot of expensive baby brands are much more neutral, but if you don't want to spend a lot then it's all either blue or pink

Lisasimpsonsbff I was having a look at Mori's Black Friday offers yesterday and almost fell off my chair when I read that a newborn starter kit was over £100 discounted. I then moved on to Mothercare, only to find that Peter Rabbit is apparently a male icon (but I don't care, and I will get DD some Peter Rabbit anyways)

Im a bit like Lisa. I had a boy and when I shop online I head to the "boys" stuff. I suspect if I had a girl I would also head to the boys stuff.

I did find peacocks "girls" leggings great for his skinny waist though.

So my point is that I find the girls and boys filter useful but it may as well be "pink glittery shite" vs "other"

I have a 2 month old boy and one thing I've noticed is how much more interesting girls' clothes are than boys' and how much more choice there is. I know the variety is partly because of skirts and dresses, but there's really no good reason why they should be so much more fun!

The Let Clothes Be Clothes campaign seems right up your street.

I totally agree.