Fresh Start thread for pregnancy after miscarriage or loss - 2

[Labmum]

New thread, perhaps might be useful to all post an update of history and where we're at now?

@AnneLovesGilbert, @Paranormalbouquet, @Miami81, @hopefulforourrainbow, @HidCat, @NoCats, @beanhunter, @iswallowtoothpaste, @vuduvu, @whiteonesugar, @wishingoneastar77, @NoParticularPattern

Apologies to anyone I've missed, please tag them and let them know of the new thread.

Oh and yes DS was also born in the same hospital so I knew how things worked this time round.

Another lurker still here.. @AnneLovesGilbert and @Miami81 not long to go now.. I hope the next few weeks go smoothly and quickly for you both!
@AnneLovesGilbert I was induced at 37+2 and the labour itself wasnt as bad as I was expecting but then I was utterly anxious by the end and really needed ds to be born.. As it turned out he was feeling the same way..
Just make sure you ask all the questions you have and make your thoughts known either way regarding induction / section etc.

So lovely to see familiar faces popping in.

After retaining my emotional zen and actually crying much less than normal the last few months, DH has done such a wonderful job sorting baby things, transforming the room, making lovely meals ans doing DIY, I proper lost it earlier and sobbed my heart out about just about everything.

I was up half the night sure I’m not ready to have a baby, will be an awful mum, don’t know what I’m doing, and today I’m so desperate for it to be here (not yet but when it’s ready!) and safe and okay, for the last 3 painful years to have been worth it, I’m terrified it’s not going to be okay. All over the sodding shop! Had a big hug and DH said he felt the same when his were due and it’s normal to worry. I’m sure he’s right! It’s scary getting close to having what you so desperately want. Part of me is still a bit in denial and that might not really go till it’s here in my arms, maybe that’s okay. I’ve been really happy being pregnant but can’t relate it to having a real life baby of my own at the end of it.

Sorry for self indulgent waffle I’ve had a curry and a fake beer and feel a bit more level.

@AnneLovesGilbert I could have written loads of that.
The psychiatrist I was referred to last week said that the last few weeks anxiety goes through the roof for everyone and to just try and breath. It's really hard though.
I feel very panicky all the time.
You have got this. You have done so well to get this far without any major meltdowns.
And soon the bump will become a baby. Which is just so amazing and wonderful.
This baby is due to arrive 3 years almost to the day of my first positive pregnancy test. Trying to think of that as a positive rather then anything else.

Then at least I'm not going mad @Miami81, or I am but we both are together I am trying to breathe, and after a slightly better night's sleep than normal, I'm feeling better today.

"the bump will become a baby" might do the trick, thank you.

How are you today?

I’m signing back in to the thread! Lovely to see some babies have arrived and so pleased that the ladies I remember are still here and very nearly out the other side! I’d totally dropped off here and couldn’t find the thread and I really wanted to check in to see how Miami and Anne were doing. So pleased you’re all ok and looking good. I hope the next few weeks go super super quickly for you guys, the last weeks drag on almost as much as those early ones do!

As for me I’m currently 16+2. Nausea has all gone now and I’m pretty much back to normal. I’m too fat this time so I have to have a consultant appointment for them to lecture me on how I don’t need to eat the whole world and I’ll get a GTT at 26ish weeks (I had one with DD as I was still fat then, just not THIS fat 😂). In other news DD is a year old next week. A whole bloody year. I know everyone says how the time goes so fast but it has so not felt it at times! Now suddenly she’s very nearly a year and is almost walkingand things. She still doesn’t sleep particularly well but she definitely eats so I’ll perhaps pick my battles. I’m also slightly glad that I’m not going to be swanning into newborn life off the back of blissful full nights of sleep. At least it won’t be such a big shock to the system this time 😂😂

Not sure why I haven't been getting notifications. My phone has done a weird update so maybe that. Wow you're all getting so close! Please don't leave me here when you've all had your babies lol. Ankle swelling has come down. I'm off for almost 2 weeks now but have a long run of shifts when I go back. Have midwife appointment on Tuesday so I'll see what she says about it then. Also struggling with lack of sleep and nasal congestion. Could be worse I guess! Going pram shopping next weekend! Any advice? Theres so much choice! I'd be willing to travel to meet up with you guys. Wonder where half way would be?

Hey NoParticularPattern and hopeful!

Glad you’re feeling better NoParticularPattern, how on Earth is she already a year?! Are you having a little party? I bet she’s amazing, there’s a lot to be said for a good eater, good job!

Glad ankles better hopeful, two weeks off will be fab! Do you have any nice plans? Have you tried the sterimar nose spray? It’s not a patch on the proper stuff but I have found it’s better than nothing when I’ve reallt struggled. I’ve had 3 lots of full on lurgy in 2 months, never know the like in my life and it’s so frustrating! I keep good health in normal conditions and it’s massively annoying feeling so weak and not being able to do much to help yourself. Is not being able to breathe the reason you’re not sleeping? A good pregnancy pillow has helped me comfort wise. A friend at work gave me one and having a pillow between my knees is good.

We got a pram off eBay as I winced over the price of new ones. It’s a baby jogger city mini and was about £60 second hand. It fits the car seat we got new from John Lewis. It folds completely flat and I have a tiny car boot so that was the main reason. There are things I like researching and shopping for but know sod all about prams and car seats and find them confusing as so many options so left it to DH who remembers some stuff from when his were little!

Anyone recommend a baby monitor?

If you want a babybox for napping downstairs instead of a Moses basket, the Finnish style thing, I got one free off the baby box university. You watch some videos about baby stuff (don’t smoke! Eat veggies!) and answer a little quiz and then they post it to you for about £5.

Wow @NoParticularPattern amazing you have number two on the way fingers crossed it all goes smoothly and uneventfully for you! Your is just a couple of weeks older than my ds.. I still can't believe they are almost one!

@AnneLovesGilbert I have the tommee tippee digital video and movement monitor.. Would I recommend it? Hmm I'm really not sure so I'll just give my honest thoughts on it - in many ways I love it because I can watch that little yellow light flash that tells me ds is breathing / moving.. Which for us after ds being in nicu and having so many monitors attached there it was reassuring. On the other hand is easy to get a bit obsessive over it in my case and the major thing is that it appears to be prone to accidentally going off. We have had nights where it has gone off 6 or 7 times.. Each time ds appeared fine and was definitely breathing when I reached him (in mere seconds). My cousin also has it but she just turned the sensor pad off and uses it as just a video monitor. I can't quite bring myself to do that yet as when it works I so find it reassuring. The video and sounds activation is fantastic..

I just have a cheap BT monitor- noise only, no video. Baby is always beside me now anyway so it hasn’t been turned on at all.

@AnneLovesGilbert I think we are going to get the snuza md one. I know that it's not everyone's cup of tea, but we both feel that if we are ever going to sleep at all we need to get something
For a bit of reassurance. Will probably get a mat one for later on.

I got that nasal spray at the weekend. Have only tried it once so far and felt like it flooded my nose! My husband bought me a pregnancy pillow and it's amazing! So comfy! Living in Scotland I get the free baby box from the government! No wonder the country is skint. I haven't looked at monitors yet. Bought sheets etc from Asda last night. They had packs of 2 reduced to £3. I'm finding it hard to stop looking at baby stuff now I have started!

Thank you for all those, I'll have a read up later, and good point para, I keep thinking it's the last thing we need before it's here but I won't be letting it out of my sight for a while!

...despite my SM suggesting she has the baby for the day when it's 5 weeks old. I think the look on my face stopped her in her tracks. What are people like?! Each to their own, absolutely, but I already feel a bit stressy now I've got used to it being in me and then it being out and me now knowing it's okay all the time will be a shock.

I didn't know you were in Scotland hopeful! Bonus on the free box! Mine is just the box, mattress, sheet, small pack of wipes, small pack of nappies, so not amazing, but practically free and handy for downstairs.

The box here is amazing. I got mine at 34 weeks. It even has little toys and a play mat.

What?!!!!!! You lucky sods

Will you post me your cast offs or anything you've got too much of?

When's your next scan miami?

And is anyone else anaemic?

I've got consultant, growth scan and repeat bloods on Wednesday.

Oh @AnneLovesGilbert I am anaemic, I have tried to take the tablets but really struggling. Have managed spatone. But not sure how much it is helping.
Next appt tomorrow. Need to sit down in a while and write down what I want to say.
The baby box in Scotland is truly fab. We would have been fine to get the things ourselves, but actually because of loosing dd it felt like such a big weight off my mind to know that the box was coming and that it pretty much has everything you need for the first few days. Even condoms.......... which just made us both roll on the floor laughing.

Is spatone a liquid? I’m taking floradix which the GP was fine with as she said everyone has a limit to what they can absorb so a big dose doesn’t mean you’ll get the additional benefit but does mean extra side effects so worth a go and I’ll see from weds bloods if it’s made a difference.

What’s on the agenda for tomorrow? I think you’re finishing work this week? Will you get a chance to properly rest up? Writing stuff down always helps. Our guy talks at record speed in a very strong accent and it always takes us a little while on the way back from an appointment to work out which bits we both picked up. He doesn’t have a secretary anymore so I haven’t had a post appointment round up letter in many months and the notes in my book are crap!

I’m really stewing over timings on drugs and threatened inductions. No point at all but it’s bothering me all the same.

Willl you know more on baby position tomorrow? I want your baby out in a safe and timely fashion, the end is in sight and I’m so so desperate to know you’re all okay. I’m a raging heathen but I’m doing some non-praying praying for all of you (hope that’s not weird) xxxx

Also, condoms

I have wondered what to do about contraception as I hate the thought of going back on the pill.

Can I suggest condons might not be the most effective!! Though I am delighted as the result of my condom failure is lovely!

nothing was standing in the way of that baby para!

Ha ha @Paranormalbouquet there was definitely no stopping that baby!!
We have used condoms for years as hormonal contraceptives make me properly hormonal/mental. Once we are done with baby making I will probably look into the coil or something. Although given womb shape some suggestion I would need two!!
As far as I can tell from babies movements her position is still very much sideways. We shall see later on.
So today I want a date set for a csection. As the backstop option as such but not too far beyond the 37 week date that I have had in my head since week 6.
I am terrified to be this close really. It all just feels like it is there within my grasp and that any small tiny thing could take it all away again. I know that given all our additional care that's very unlikely but I don't think I will believe she is real until she is here. Even though she is a mad mover and of course she is here.
All prayers heathen, Buddhist, thought crystals or whatever are appreciated. My mother is an atheist who has spent more time lighting candles in the last year then anyone i know, it's funny how you fall back into the comfort of the faith you grew up surrounded by sometimes. She figures it's not doing any harm and she finds comfort from just sending those positive thoughts out into the world for us.
Anyway I will keep you posted later on.
I also need to find out about drug regime end date. They seem to still want 36 weeks but that's Friday and makes me feel very jittery. Especially if csection is 10-14 days later.

Good luck today @Miami. Sending prayers and positive thoughts your way from here too. I totally understand the panic towards the end, that worry that you might fall at the final hurdle and everything be taken from your reach again. It's great that she's wriggly to reassure you though.

@Anne we have an angelcare digital motion, sound and video monitor which we are still using (without the mat) for DS. DD is in with us in a bedside crib so we don't need one. I keep the ensuite light on and the door cracked so that I can see her and check on her in the night. I'd recommend the video though as when they get bigger you can see what the problem is before you decide to get up to them. Sometimes when DS cries out we can see on the monitor that he's already sorted himself out, or when he was in his cot we could see if he had an arm/leg stuck in the bars. DS doesn't really need it now as he can come get us if he needs us so we'll use it for DD when she moves into the nursery.

The baby boxes sound great, wish we got one of those. 😂 at the condoms though! We're done at 2 so I'll be looking at a long term option, likely the coil for future. Even if we did want a third we couldn't go through the heartbreak of potential miscarriages again.

I got a phone call from the hospital yesterday wondering why I wasn't there for my induction appointment! Haha!

Thinking of you Miami and hope it's a really useful appointment. I was told the blood thinning and benefit to the placenta will continue for 2 weeks after you stop the meds, which I have to say doesn't make sense since I was also told the fragmin lasts 12 hours from each jab.

However, the main things were the meds are helping the placenta which might otherwise start slowing down after 38 weeks, and despite that they wouldn't let me go over two weeks once I've come off them, but did want me off them at least a bit before delivering as there are risks of bleeding more - as one would expect.

Let me know what they say as I'm still forming ideas on the whole thing and appointment is tomorrow morning. I was originally told meds till 36 weeks but now it's more complicated and based on when I'm likely to deliver/when he'd like to induce.

When you get your section date, would you be happy working backwards and coming off the meds 10 days prior, so even if you got bumped a day you'd be well covered? Are there bleeding implications with a section if you've been on thinners?

Bless your Mum, she sounds lovely. Mine found god a few years ago for the first time and has had peaks and troughs faith wise since. She was so angry at god when we had our first MMC she refused to go to church for weeks! Now she goes to pray all the time and she has a few friends praying for us too. I take goodwill wherever it comes from too

Thanks for the recommendation lab, sounds a good one. I know what you mean, I was asking DH last night if he sees this as our only pregnancy/baby and he said probably not, he'd like another one. He was dozing off at the time so I'll ask him again when this one's safely out

What bothers me is we'll never know what it was that got this one off the ground, so we wouldn't know if it would ever work again. Plenty of time to think about it but I've considered this my one shot and tried to make the most of the bits I've really enjoyed. And I'll definitely need a break so contraception plans will be no joke!

Btw, I've had a lot of braxton hicks the last few days and had pretty bad period pain last night, lasted about half an hour, constant and building rather than contractiony, is that normal at this point? It was very low down, bit up the belly, bit across the lower back.

@AnneLovesGilbert I have had loads of different advice now about the meds.
Anyway so our consultant wasn't actually there today, which was a bit my dh was a bit mad about that.
But we had one of the other consultants who had booked us in for a c-section at 37+5 on the 27th February. This is mainly based on our main consultants diary, but I'm ok with that.
So that's it, we definitely have a date now. 2 weeks time, eeeeeeekkkkk.
So we went to mothercare afterwards and bought loads of stuff again!!!
Meds - today's consultant said to stop the aspirin from 36 wks and stop heparin 2 days before c-section. If I feel any twinges that feel like labour before that get straight to hospital, don't take heparin if it's first thing in the morning. Tell them that I have taken it if it's the evening or whatever. So that they can figure out the 12 hr thing. I think I will keep taking everything until next Tuesday anyway when I am definitely seeing my main consultant. It feels too much just to stop when today's one isn't our top dog consultant.

You have a date!!!!!!!!!! How do you feel? I know exactly how you feel, we had a reg the appointment before last who was delightful but didn't know my history and waffled on about how we could be midwife led and definitely off the meds at 36 weeks. We decided to wait (fucking ages) for our consultant last time and I'm refusing to anyone but him now (not easy if they're not there!) if he is in as it's just too close to the end now and I don't trust the randoms.

But a date is what you were after, you're seeing your proper one early next week, I'd do the same and stick with the drugs till then just to be sure.

Do you feel relieved to have a plan or freaked out by knowing when it's definitely happening?