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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

mum and dad have buggered off on holiday when im 37-39weeks pregnant am i being unreasonable thinking they are out of order?

102 replies

pregnantbabyelephant · 19/06/2007 14:23

Hi this is my first baby, and ive had quite a difficult pregnancy so far. my mum and dad went off on holiday abroad for two weeks on saturday so they will be away during my 37-39 weeks this is my first pregnancy but there 5th grandchild .
do you think they are selfish going on holiday at my stage?
i had a midwife appointment yesterday and ended up in hospital having a scan because the mw thought my baby may of been breech,luckily baby is the right way round but i did find this a very stressful day,my mum and dad didnt even bother to call or txt to see how my appointment went even though i told them i was seeing mwife on monday am so they have no idea whats happened to me.
they didnt book this holiday until after i told them i was expecting and when the due date was so its not like they had to go now!
also neither of them work both retired so really can go anytime.they are not old though only early 60s and fit and well
i feel like there not there for me but dont know if im being unreasonable due to my hormones or something !!
im lucky because i have a fantastic dh who has been great the whole time
thank god for him xx
what do you guys think ?

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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Blu · 19/06/2007 14:27

What would you like them to be doing for you right now? Maybe they planned it this way so that they can be back for the rest of the summer after the baby is born? that's when you really need help, isn't it?

I know how you feel - I remember not wanting anyone in my family to do anything at all except make my pg the focus of every arrangement that was made. But there really wasn't anything useful or helpful they could do.

MrsMar · 19/06/2007 14:28

Hi babyelephant - I'd be a bit miffed too, but tbh I wouldn't be surprised if my parents did that too. I love my mum and dad, but they are terrible at this sort of thing, they've missed the first birthdays of both their other grandchildren, and I haven't spent a birthday with them since I was 16 (I'm a summer baby so they're always away when it's my birthday)

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all, but I'm sure it'll all work out in the end, there's a good chance you won't give birth until they come back. In the meantime thank your lucky stars you've got a great dh! sorry I can't be any more helpful!

oggsfrog · 19/06/2007 14:30

I'd blame the hormones

I don't think they are being unreasonable.

My parents didn't get to see my child until she was a few weeks old, as they live so far away.

You have a loving supportive dh, and it's his job now to be there for you - it's not as if you are facing this on your own .

Gobbledigook · 19/06/2007 14:36

I think it's up to them when they go on holiday tbh! Sorry!

scorpio1 · 19/06/2007 14:39

its you and dh having the baby, isn't it??

my parents have never helped me at all. my parents too are retired, and i had my 1st child at 17. they went away and didnt help. it felt better-doing it myself. even though they are retired, they still have a life iyswim?

i understand totally how stressful pg is.You sound like your dh is very good with you and the pg? focus on that

OrmIrian · 19/06/2007 14:42

A little perhaps.

There are plenty of people on MN who'd love for their parents to bugger off on hols around their due date and leave them to get on with it . Chances are you won't be on time first time so they'll be back anyway.

donnie · 19/06/2007 14:45

yes you are unreasonable IMO. Sorry if this sounds harsh but at least you have parents. Many people don't and have to do it all on their own. They probably intend to be back for the birth so they can help then.

WaynettaSlob · 19/06/2007 14:47

My parents live in a different country, and both times around were only able to visit after DSs were born.
Yes, YABU - count your lucky stars you have them around......

MrsBadger · 19/06/2007 14:48

why, what were you expecting them to do if they were here those two weeks?

handlemecarefully · 19/06/2007 14:50

I think it is more important that they are around for you after the baby is born than before. You might feel large, cumbersome and tired atm, but at the end of the day you have no other children and can just take a rest etc when you need it

Not sure what your parents can do for you currently

LIZS · 19/06/2007 14:53

what is it you are worried about ? They'll more than likely be back when the baby arrives. MW visits are pretty routine and unless they have been in regular contact for details each time you've been before I would n't expect them to be more than casually interested, since it is their 5th g'child. You may have to accept that they've been there, done that before I'm afraid.

bookthief · 19/06/2007 14:53

You are being a bit unreasonable but it's completely understandable that you feel like this. Still, as pps have said you'll really appreciate them not being away for two weeks after the baby is here as that's when you'll need the help more.

Good news that the baby's in the right position - must be a relief for you. Good luck with the remainder of your pregnancy!

CantSleepWontSleep · 19/06/2007 14:54

I think you are being unreasonable. It's your baby, not your parents, and surely it's far better for them to be around after the birth than before?

Perhaps they thought that you would phone them to tell them how the appointment went yesterday, rather than them having to chase you for news.

My parents actually booked a holiday for about 10 days after my due date, when I could easily not have had dd, so then they would have missed knowing when she was born until they returned (in fact I had her 6 days late, so they got to meet her just before going away).

Lilymaid · 19/06/2007 14:57

Your parents are people in their own right and can decide when they go on holiday. They may be retired but they probably have plenty of things going on in their lives apart from their grown up children. Sounds like they have booked it so that they will be back in time for the birth and after when their help and support will be most valuable.

dal21 · 19/06/2007 19:05

Well my view is very different to the other posters - but that is what makes MN so fab!
I am incredibly close to my mum and being pregnant has made us even closer. The support I receive from DH is amazing but the emotional support I receive from my mum is irreplacable. If my mum was to head off on hols at the same stage you were at - I would definitely feel unsettled. I cannot explain or rationalise it - but knowing she isnt far gives me support and settles me.
I dont think you are being unreasonable - you are perfectly justified to feel anyway you want too.
Having said that, I do agree with the other posters who say that your folks have probably headed off so that they are around once the little one is born. First babies are very rarely early.
It is also likely that you feelings are so much more magnified because of the worry and pregnancy hormones you have!

Original poster

pregnantbabyelephant · 19/06/2007 22:01

You bunch of miserable twats.

OP posts:

TaylorsMummy · 19/06/2007 22:02

SenoraPostrophe · 19/06/2007 22:05

sorry but lol.

perhaps we should change the title f this topic to "I'm not being unreasonable and if you disagree you're a bunch of miserable twats"

why post if you're so sure?

AlienEars · 19/06/2007 22:05

Was that aimed at us or your parents?

TaylorsMummy · 19/06/2007 22:07

no wonder they are going on holiday

BetsyBoop · 19/06/2007 22:08

LOL if that's your attitude I'm not suprised your parents are going away on holiday

GLoveandSpecialSauce · 19/06/2007 22:09

I wouldn#t be bothered if my mum and dad would go away if I was in your situation.... i bet u your baba will be late!

Don't upset yourself and keep positive!

Marina · 19/06/2007 22:11

Are you sure they didn't leave the country for good pregnantbabyelephant

Peachy · 19/06/2007 22:11

My Mumand dad did this but the reason I was hurt was because I was relying on them to care for my older 2 kids, (turned out spiteful sister booked it- quelle surprise)

chances are you'll go over your due date first time, bet they know that too

YANBU in that you are hormonal and nervous and been under straess- but try not to worry, i dont think they mean anything by it

TaylorsMummy · 19/06/2007 22:11

rofl

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