mum and dad have buggered off on holiday when im 37-39weeks pregnant am i being unreasonable thinking they are out of order?

[pregnantbabyelephant]

Hi this is my first baby, and ive had quite a difficult pregnancy so far. my mum and dad went off on holiday abroad for two weeks on saturday so they will be away during my 37-39 weeks this is my first pregnancy but there 5th grandchild .
do you think they are selfish going on holiday at my stage?
i had a midwife appointment yesterday and ended up in hospital having a scan because the mw thought my baby may of been breech,luckily baby is the right way round but i did find this a very stressful day,my mum and dad didnt even bother to call or txt to see how my appointment went even though i told them i was seeing mwife on monday am so they have no idea whats happened to me.
they didnt book this holiday until after i told them i was expecting and when the due date was so its not like they had to go now!
also neither of them work both retired so really can go anytime.they are not old though only early 60s and fit and well
i feel like there not there for me but dont know if im being unreasonable due to my hormones or something !!
im lucky because i have a fantastic dh who has been great the whole time
thank god for him xx
what do you guys think ?

Marina

Oh that's fine ! I was glad that mine were in Oz when dd was born ! they didn't see her until she was 3 wks old ! If I did it again I'd book it for them myselff !

Errrrrrrrrrwell, my parents rang me when I was about 37 weeks pregnant from India, where they were, and I growled vaguely at them. Would have been quite happy if they'd been there for the birth.

@Marina!

Funnily enough, I was going to post more or less exactly what csws did (you psychic!). But I'd add that things seem so important to you when your pg, esp the first time round. Maybe they didnt realise the significance of the appointment for you? TBH, I'd prob have forgotton it was my appointmtnet date with ds2, as it was so diffrerent second time round, and things seem less important etc.

I'd suggest being a bit more civil when you need help from your midwives etc during labour and birth

try not to get to upset stressed from it you will need yor mom more once baby here

I would be a bit peeved but I'm not sure why. I had my babies in a different country to my Mum and Dad and DP's parents didn't even visit me in hosp. I htink being pg can be scarry and sometimes you just need your Mum iykwim.

Looking at it a different way I would want to be there for my dd.

You are pregnant. Not terminally ill. You dont have another child to look after, you have only yourself. What do you need your parents for? Rub your feet?

Be glad they are there for you AFTER the baby is born, rested after their holiday. You have no idea now just how much you will need help.

And as for your response to experienced mothers who have been through pregnancy and birth, and have taken the time to reply to you? You really seriously need to look at what you exepct of other people, and how to show some gratitude...

Nope - I can't see why they're selfish at all. You are an adult, they have their own lives to lead. You are part of their lives, as I'm sure their grandchild will be - but I can't understand why grown up children still seem to expect their parents to put them first when they've probably been doing it for years.

I think your poor husband deserves a medal if you are as unreasonable with him as you appear to be with everyone else. But you won't care that I think that, obviously, because I'm a miserable twat .

Being pregnant and stressed does not give carte blanche to being rude. Lots of us on here are stressed or worried about something and come on here to get feedback from others - sometimes people agree, sometimes they dont. If you dont welcome peoples honesty then I suggest you dont post and ask for peoples opinions.

PMSL.

'miserable twats'

Nice- with an attitude like that, I wonder why your parents have 'deserted' you.

a bit of projection i think,there?

miserable twats? pot calling kettle black pmsl

yes I think you are being unreasonable, they could have chosen to go away between 39-41 weeks and def not been around for the birth???????? Be glad your parents recognise that it's your and dh baby and not interfering, demanding to be involved in absolutely every detail etc etc - that would be far worse!

It sounds as though you're feeling hurt that your mum and dad aren't every bit as excited as you are about this baby, and I think I would be upset if mine went on holiday at this stage when I was pregnant with my first. I guess they feel like old hands at being grandparents whereas it's all a totally new experience for you and you're not getting as much support as you would like. OTOH I think the main thing is that they're around when the baby's born and you need help and they'll probably be doting grandparents when they meet him/her.

At this stage your hormones are all over the place and everything anybody does can seem like a calculated way to upset you, but try not to let this spoil the end of your pregnancy!

yes - unreasonable.

they have their own lives that does not revolve around you and yours.

My mother was 20 000 miles away when I had dd1, my mil was in the same country and not able to support us as she was caring for her very ill mother who also had dementia etc etc.

We coped with a baby in ICU - in heart failure and through two open heart surgeries - no one rushing round to take care of me post c-section . Just dh and I.

as someone else said - be thankful they will be able to be around post birth.

as to your response to other posters who whilst feeling you were unreasonable at least said they understood how you felt - poor form and not due to hormones.

Did I mis soemthing. OP seems to be gettign a hard time?

Did you miss the OP's post at 22:01 last night drosophila?

You are being TOTALLY unreasonable.

You know, I was thinknig about this thread last night ( I know, sad life!). I dont think she ever let on her age; maybe she's really young, which would explain why she wanted her parents around so badly? She need only be 16 to have a dh you know!

Don't you think though that its cos its her first and we've all been there and done that so we know that with our 2nd or 3rd or whatever it wouldn't bother us if our parents went away. Still think being unnreasonable.

They scheduled their holiday so that they'd be around throughout the period where you're most likely to give birth, and for the weeks afterwards, which is when you are really going to need and value them. You are being unreasonable. Understandably unreasonable, because you're heavily pregnant and hormonal and we all get fixated on stuff at that stage, but still unreasonable. And being rude to everyone here isn't going to help.