Dd (16) is pregnant and not sure who father is

[Papergirl1968]

Dd, nearly 17, has told me today she’s pregnant. She’s done a test that says 1-2 weeks which she’s been told means 3-4 weeks. She split up with her old boyfriend and at the same time started a new relationship about 17/18th July.
The week of 7-14 July we were on holiday and she appeared to have her period then. She was certainly bleeding as I had to wash the sheet. I later discovered she’d had her implant out just before we went away so maybe that made her bleed?
New boyfriend’s family think it is old boyfriend’s baby. Old boyfriend thinks it can’t be his as she had her period while away with us and they didn’t have sex after that as she more or less went straight off with the new lad.
She’s been living away from home for a few months, 100 or so miles away actually.
I haven’t a clue what will happen but she wants to keep it and I have said I’ll stand by her. I’d prefer her to come home actually even though we don’t get on a lot of the time. The new boyfriend's Ex girlfriend is also pregnant to complicate matters.
I guess a scan might help date the pregnancy but there’s no definite way to find out who the father until a dna test after the baby is born?

WhatAnAbsolutePenis

If I was that boys mother, I would be painfully and bitterly disappointed in him.

You did read the bit where he is in the same supported accommodation as the girl?

You may want to think about how he got there before you start feeling sorry for his parents,

Papergirl1968

You have my sympathy, all you can do is support her and hope for the best.

for you
Glad she has you.

She was very tearful in phone calls while we (dd2 and I) were in the way to fetch her. It appears the pregnant ex girlfriend had showed up and tried to push dd around, threatening to kick her in the stomach etc.
However by the time we arrived she was her usual self. She said she didn’t take the morning after pill when the condom split because she didn’t want to kill the baby (!), and she’s convinced it’s new boyfriend’s. She’s planning on dividing her time between our house and his place. She said he lives in supported accommodation because his parents don’t have room for him (I think that’s total rubbish) but he’s getting another place soon. He’s nearly 18, not 16 as I thought.
Looking at the messages between them - she was using my phone on the way home - she’s way more heavily committed than him. His messages were rather non committal, it was her pushing.
First step when she wakes is a pregnancy test so I can see proof...

Good luck OP.

And again if it was my son, I would be utterly and bitterly disappointed.
He’s practically an adult. There’s absolutely no excuse to get two young girls pregnant within weeks of one another.

I’m glad she is with you now, it sounds like she’s got a very tough time ahead emotionally speaking.
I think she is going to realise very soon that getting pregnant is not a way to keep a man.
Best of luck OP.

This is seriously impressive stuff you are doing here for your girl. It's going to be a hard few months, but, you'll work through it.

You are a great mum.

Oh god I’ve just seen your update. I bet SS will be involved. MW will refer give her age. No way will they allow her to move between towns with a baby.

I suspect you are going to be needed a lot in the next few years

Seriously impressive stuff? Really?

She’s just being a mum, doing what any decent mum would do.
You’re making it sound like most mums wouldn’t do that for their daughters.

Some of the comments on this threat are very disrespectful.
I know having a child doesn't solve everything however often people with bad tempers etc seem to mellow out when they have a child ! I really hope so anyway :)
I wish you and your daughter the best of luck and I hope that she takes some parental skills from you as you seem to do it right !:) x

*thread

She’s just taken a test (first wee of the day) and it’s negative.
She’s saying she did it wrong - held it in the stream for too long or got the stick covered in wee - but I don’t think that would affect the result. The instructions said at least ten seconds but nothing about not doing it for over ten seconds.
Think we should try a different test rather than the cheapie which was the only choice in the petrol station shop.

Don't agree, What About.

Kids don't always have parents who provide them with a soft place to fall. Plus, adoption can have very specific challenges as the kid gets older.

OP is working out what boundaries she has for her and the rest of the family and is there with as much support as her daughter will accept.

Parenting a challenging child is a totally different parenting gig from my own common or garden kids. I thought that was worth commenting on.

@Papergirl1968 it may have flooded it but I think that would mean an Evap line would be more likely. Cost of test doesn't impact accuracy but you could try a First response test as will be more sensitive. Try to avoid clear blue as the blue dye tends to run causing evap lines!!

@Papergirl1968 also get her to pee into a pot and dip it instead

Is it possible she has just said she is pregnant for attention given her boyfriends ex is pregnant? I know the boyfriends aunt said she saw her do a test but i guess you don't know if she is reliable. I do hope for everyone's sake that she is not pregnant.

Don't be surprised if she is lying.

She is upset his ex is pregnant. She has fallen pregnant with a week or so of knowing about the ex, she only recently came off the implant.

There's a good chance this is all made up. Did she really wee on a pregnancy test in front of her new boyfriends auntie?

If you have a savers near you their own brand early detection one's are good, and only a few pounds. Agree about getting her to wee in a washed out yogurt pot or similar, and dipping test in.

Ah she’s probably lying - which is a relief (& understandable given how vulnerable she sounds).

Any chance of another implant? Why did she get it removed?

Agree with @booandbumpp get her to pee in a jug in the loo then bring it out and dip it from that in front of you.

Take her to see a GP for a test. It can be difficult to pick up a pregnancy so early on. Taking her to a doctor will also start the process of getting a referral to midwife etc. You are. Ring very level head about this. Well done. I don't think I need to tell you but keep your cool.

You should be encouraging her to think about a termination, she does not sound remotely ready to have a child.
And get her some better advice about contraception and relationships.

Ah right, she could be lying. Hopefully she actually isn't pregnant. She sounds very troubled though.

for you both.

OP

Wow you have been through the ringer.

I could offer words of, 'talk to her about...' but you are the expert here.

I do think though that if she is not pregnant, she soon will be.

Can you take her to SW meeting? They can possibly explain what would happen if she is pregnant and continues the pregnancy.

Hopefully she isn't pregnant and this is a story designed to compete with new bf's ex. Like people say I'd take her to the GP or else get a FRER and dip it, although if she had a positive on a digital a few days ago she should really have a clear positive on any test by now.

If she isn't pregnant, great, although if she's really had her implant out I'd worry it's just a matter of time before she is, and would see if you could exert any influence to get her back to family planning and get another form of LARC in place.

If she is pregnant... I think the scenario I'd be planning for, and working towards with the SW, is you raising the baby, whether that's her voluntarily leaving it with you or SS placing it with you. I don't know if you had planned to be a grandmother/mother again so soon, especially since I'm sure your experience of being a mother hasn't been smooth sailing, but any baby's welfare has to come first. But I'd also worry about the next baby, and the next...

Good luck and I wish you serenity and strength.