Telling people I'm pregnant for the 3rd time

[Zola78]

I am pregnant for the 3rd time and we planned it. My Ds1 is 2.5 and Ds2 is nearly 13 months. It's weird because all of a sudden I feel embarassed to tell people even though WE (DH and I) planned this. I don't know why! I'm educated and we can just about afford it (as much as anyone can afford to be pregnant) yet I feel almost irresponsible. Has anyone else felt like this???

we got the tv jokes a few years back with no 3 (and 4,5,and 6) but many of our friends who had their children same time as our oldest 2 are now in the throes of the empty nest syndrome but still a long way off grandchildren while we are still enjoying having our young children with us (even got comments that many of our friends wished they had gone in for more than the standard boy and girl)

My midwife, who has seen me through all my pregnancies could hardly talk for laughing when arranging to do the booking visit at home. Then she told me she hadn't anything booked for Sept and could I have another home birth as she was away for my other one and v. disappointed. No pressure then.

Congrats!
I have got three too (aged 6,4 and 2 now) and had so many complete strangers come up to me when I was pregnant third time around saying, Oh dear, was it an accident?
Even friends said, Oh my God, are you mad?
So rude!! We planned to have three, and were really happy (still are!)
Funnily enough, I have just written a magazine article about this, I will let you know if it gets published...
In the meantime, best of luck with the pregnancy.

Has it not occurred to anyone here that having three might be a teensy bit environmentally irresponsible? Shouldn't there be fewer people in this world, not more? Aren't you being a bit selfish?

So your family, friends and strangers fail to give you the euphoric congratulations you think you deserve. I must admit I've been less than thrilled when I've heard about friends having more than two - I'm not a bitch, I'm just concerned about how the planet is going to cope with its terrifying overpopulation problem.

I have three, rococorita but I use cloth nappies, recycle and compost so is that OK then? Also I tell the ds's to fart as little as possible to minimise their impact on the environment.

No Rococorita, can't say I've given it a great deal of thought tbh - number 3 came along as my mother and mother-in-law (and a close aunt) were dying, so was pre-occupied with other matters.

Anyway my three balance out with my brother's one son (and the three DH's sister lost).

Sorry Roccorita but at your post! I think it's so sad that people feel embarrassed or ashamed about having a third. In my opinion every life is precious and every new pregnancy is a miracle. (I'm desperately trying for my 2nd at the ripe old age of 43 so forgive me if I sound a bit over the top about this!!) Yes, we should make every effort to look after our planet but not by restricting birth rates, particularly in Western Europe where we need more young people. Start going down that route and you end up with an oppressive regime such as in China. It's every couple's private decision whether to have more children or not. (Incidentally, I think close family often have a negative reaction to news of more children because they love you and it often means that you will be less available to them.) So wholehearted, no holds-barred, full-on congratulations to all of you out there who are having a third!!!

Sorry Roccorita but at your post! I think it's so sad that people feel embarrassed or ashamed about having a third. In my opinion every life is precious and every new pregnancy is a miracle. (I'm desperately trying for my 2nd at the ripe old age of 43 so forgive me if I sound a bit over the top about this!!) Yes, we should make every effort to look after our planet but not by restricting birth rates, particularly in Western Europe where we need more young people. Start going down that route and you end up with an oppressive regime such as in China. It's every couple's private decision whether to have more children or not. (Incidentally, I think close family often have a negative reaction to news of more children it often means that you will be less available to them.) Congratulations to all of you out there who are on your third!!!

oops - seem to have posted two slightly different threads - sorry

Roccorita - someone has to join the workforce and pay taxes and pay into pensions,- how on earth would this economy survive if we have less children? In fact, how will the human race survive?

The answer to enviromental problems is everyone doing their bit to save the planet, and probably more importantly, advances in technology to solve and prevent environmental problems.

If you think that less children should be born, wouldn't it be more logical for some people to have lots of children, and some none at all? Of course that is totally unreasonable to ask.

And it was all going so nicely ....

O, I am expecting number 4 BTW and I didn't give it a second thought.

PMSL at Roccorita!!

As I've already pointed out I'm on no4 and I used/use washable nappies, recycle, bf grow my own (sort of) try to recycle old clothes (ie send my mum old skirts to be turned into tunic tops for dd)compost etc etc. I'm trying to do my bit, and I'm teaching them to do their bit, which is surely more important than telling us we should have stopped at 1 or 2.

As I've already pointed out I'm on no4 and I used/use washable nappies, recycle, bf grow my own (sort of) try to recycle old clothes (ie send my mum old skirts to be turned into tunic tops for dd)compost etc etc. I'm trying to do my bit, and I'm teaching them to do their bit, which is surely more important than telling us we should have stopped at 1 or 2.

P.S. I've no idea how I managed to send it twice. I'm getting off my soapbox now feeling a bit embarassed.

I have 8 and feel very lucky to have lovely, healthy children. The amount of older women that come and talk to me and tell me how they wished they had had more children is unbelievable!

If another baby is what you and your DP/DH's want then go for it..it dosen't matter what anyone else thinks.

why feel embarrased its great news. I would love 3! i can realte to telling boss though - I would cringe at thought - isnt that crap that we feel like that - -babies are fantastic and being a mum is the best job we ever do. we wouldnt feel embarrased at saying 'this is the third murder investigation we've solved' or 'I've been Headteacher of 3 schools'!!!!

I am a 35 year old mother of 4 and all were planned, I felt the same for a while but not any more, DH and I provide for them and look after them with no help from anyone.

Just joined, and I'm so relieved to have found someone who is in a similar situation to us! We have three - all under three (no twins!). When I fell pregnant with our 3rd last April, DD was 22 months and DS was 8 months. DS2 is now 5 months old. I breastfed each of them for a year too, and still fell pregnant, but that's another story....! We didn't not plan to have them so close, but were a little surprised when it happened so quickly each time. I certainly did feel a little embarassed telling people, so I can well understand how you feel, especially those who thought that the first two were close enough in age as it was. We didn't really tell people, as just wait until it was so obvious, and the family gossip grapevine had done its work, then just slipped the due date into conversation. What you'll find really tiring though is the constant 'wow - you've got your hands full' or 'I don't know how you cope - I can't with just one child!' comments. It is exhausting - I have found the jump from 2-3 bigger than 1-2, and they now outnumber you, but it's amazing how, with experience behind you, you still enjoy each new baby with as much zeal as the first! Congratulations!

Guess I'm just a freak, then. I just had one child and I'm sticking at one, and part of the reason for that is that we have an unignorable population problem. NO amount of recycling, composting etc will ever offset another human being's impact on this planet. (Did no one see that documentary showing all the stuff we need/waste in our lifetimes?) Saying "we need a workforce" doesn't cut it - we already have too many humans and not enough jobs. And producing more and more people just to look after the people we've already got is not the answer. Anyway, I've made my point. I'll leave you all to your navel-gazing.

PS: If you want to get cross with someone who isn't me have a look at women.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/women/families/article1752235.ece

Good for you Rococorita. We all do what we think best and what will make us happy.