Most inappropriate comments & your responses?

[Toomanyorchids]

I've heard a few people have really awful comments made to them while they are pregnant and wondered what your worst comment has been and how you reacted to it?

I'm newly pregnant and trying to prepare myself for what might be in store!

'Was it planned?' I have been asked this so many times. I have an 8 year age gap but this pg is with a new partner. Its so rude.

Bump size comments - I reply 'at least I've got an excuse' and look at their stomach!

People are idiots and it is hard to ignore them. Vent on here if you want sympathy :)

My brother and his partner have been struggling to have a baby (he knew we were planning a second), when I told him I was expecting and how many weeks he said "oh, you've still got time to lose it then! ". He later, after I and his partner told him off, apologised. I could have taken it a lot worse considering the pregnancy followed a recent miscarriage, but my brother is not the most tactful and I had a feeling my good news was unlikely to be initially welcomed.

Bloody hell, that has got to be the worst comment I've heard. Glad he said sorry though.

God that's awful have! Talk about tactless and cruel!

I've had other slightly insulting large bump related comments but that reaction did stick in my head. My brothers not a bad guy just a severe lack of common sense, he was also unaware of the previous miscarriage when he said it. It was very early so I hadn't told anyone and wasn't going to, but I set him straight so he could learn what not to say to a pregnant women.

I agree the 'was it planned' - so odd that people feel it's ok to ask that. A family friend actually asked my husband 'is it yours?' when he told her!! She was in her 70s so I mostly found it funny...

I found it a surprise how many rehashed cliches were said to me i.e. 'You're all bump' 'make sure you sleep now while you can' 'are you sure it's not twins in there' etc. Until you are pregnant you don't find out that people just say all the same stuff to you, nothing offensive but just a bit dull and unoriginal!

‘Haven’t you heard of contraception?’

Fuck off mate.

“I thought you didn’t want kids” from a work colleague who I’d spoken to about 5 times! She was repeating gossip from one of my ‘friends’ who is unhappy that I’m pregnant. (Just because I didn’t shout from the rooftops that I was TTC, apparently I ‘don’t want it as much as she does’!)

“I couldn’t think of a more unlikely person! If you’d told me this time last year that you’d be pregnant I never would have believed it “ from same colleague. I’ve been married 10 years and I’m in my early 30s so not completely unusual!

When asked if I was having a baby shower I said no as they’re not my thing. My ‘friend’ replied with “It’s tempting fate doing things like that. My friend X miscarried near the end”. I just said that if something bad was going to happen a baby shower wouldn’t change things either way!

Then there are the generic but constant comments on the size of my bump (too small apparently). And the people who ask how you’re feeling, keep pushing after you say you’re fine, then belittle any symptoms you describe as moaning.

Any one of these comments while not pregnant would have really upset me but now I completely ignore them. I just keep thinking, I’ll be off for over a year on maternity leave soon!

I never had any comments I couldn't laugh off however I don't know why but people staring at my bump when they walked past me upset me more than any comments! I know it's ridiculous but I noticed it a lot and it made me feel really self conscious!

The only one that was particularly irritating though was 'i can't imagine you with a baby' which I got a lot!

Some fuckwit along road from us made a really rude comment to us and we ignored it - he then said "Christ sake another fenian bead rattler?"

(Derogatory word for Catholic in west Scotland)

I just looked at him and said - you married what I hope is human and they let you breed?

Never had a word back from him.

Someone loudly asked me if I had expanded with the heat a few weeks ago! I just laughed it off while seething inside wishing I'd turned round and asked her - no have you?

@Smellyjo I agree the cliches are so bad! I am getting it constantly and it is just so boring.

Was it done naturally... by someone I'd only met once before for 10 mins 🤨

Comments about how the private area is changed by child birth. Drives me mad. So rude and crass.

"What a shame" and "oh well, never mind" when people hear we're expecting our 3rd boy. Because the worst thing that could happen to a family is 3 healthy sons....

My MIL made a 'fat' comment which my husband immediately (but kindly) shut down and my mum kept calling me a 'beached whale'.
I had to tell her to stop about 3 times throughout the pregnancy.

Yes I had the ‘was it planned’? 😳 cheeky buggers.
And my dad responded to the news with ‘oh that’ll be awkward with work’ 🙄 Lol

Someone loudly asked me if I had expanded with the heat a few weeks ago

O dear

My nerdy male colleague said 'ooh that means you've been having sex'. And my brother said after a massive pause...I thought you weren't going to have children.

I was very big at the end due to polyhydraminous and I used to get a lot of ‘are you sure it’s not twins!!’ Which little to everyone’s knowledge it originally was but we lost one, so that comment used to sting and I had to really bite my tongue.

For me the worst comments were after. I’ve had 3 people ask me when I’m due whilst pushing around my 3 week old daughter, I responded with, ‘I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat from this one still’ followed by a glare!!

"Oh you are going to be a young mummy. At least you will have lots of energy" (usually followed with raised eyebrows and whispering about that . - this was obviously from strangers - I'm 28, married and in a permanent professional career role. The one time I was fed up hearing this and replied with well at 28 I'm not all that young I got the reply "f**k I thought you were 15"

Also got the are you sure it's not twins comment.

But the worst comment I had was from a doctor.. So history is prior to my successful pregnancy I had 3 miscarriages and was knackered waiting list for recurrent miscarriage clinic. 36 weeks pregnant id been in twice already for reduced movements in a week. This time if been in the waiting room for an hour an half before being on ctg for an hour and then another 45 mins in a hot room waiting to see on call doc. I was on my own (dh working) and it was almost misogyny. I was tired and worried. Doctor as why I seemed do nervous. I explained history. His reply "well your just being silly to be worried, early miscarriage are totally different from being 36 weeks pregnant" he followed that up by telling me reduced movements usually means baby isn't growing properly and is conserving energy but he thought it would probably fine and to go home and stop worrying.....
I think I went home more stressed out that I had been when I had arrived.

Favourite comment was from a child I teach..
"Whys your tummy getting big? Maybe you're eating too many things".

Best two comments:

During the (inevitable) chat with stranger in supermarket queue.
60yo woman ‘My sympathies, pregnancy is horrid’.
Me: ‘oh actually there haven’t been any problems in 8 months, so I’m lucky’
Her: ‘well you know what they say, dear, ‘Easy pregnancy, Difficult labour’.
The rest of the queue stared at her in horror! One sweet young man even stood between her and me so she couldn’t continue!

And my favourite was at a friend’s wedding. Me, in a fabulous moo moo, 2 weeks from due date. Bridesmaid’s elderly Aunt asks me if it’s ‘my first?’. I respond with my usual ‘First and last, actually’. She peers over her specs and says ‘What a ridiculous plan. What happens if it gets ill and dies? You’ll just be back to square one, won’t you. And at your age!’. Bridesmaid still apologises to me every time I see her. 8 years later.

Lucky I have a sense of humour. And that nothing bad happened to me or the baby, right? Can I add, neither woman clapped her hand over her own mouth afterwards. No brain farts, apparently. Not embarrassed in the least. Sheeesh!

'Was it planned?'... cue me going into embarrassing detail about the night I conceived... they never expect it and leave more embarrassed than I do immature but satisfying!