Most inappropriate comments & your responses?

[Toomanyorchids]

I've heard a few people have really awful comments made to them while they are pregnant and wondered what your worst comment has been and how you reacted to it?

I'm newly pregnant and trying to prepare myself for what might be in store!

I was buying something in Curry's and a member of staff serving me just out of the blue asked 'was it natural or did you have IVF?'

I was so stunned that I just replied it wasn't IVF and left. Kind of wish I'd complained now!

I teach primary school. A male colleague used me as an example of mammalian reproduction with his class. At the time I was still awaiting NT results and had only just told staff.

Resulted in kids blindsiding me with 'Mr X says you're pregnant' during afternoon lessons that day.

"Your body is going to be completely ruined" - I was told by what I know now is a very jealous woman who wanted to make herself feel better by making me feel shit about my pregnancy (she made a few other comments that I shan't divulge)

I’ve had loads of “was it planned?” as well. Can’t imagine asking anyone that! What are people on?! Also had a few “are you getting married then?” - it’s 2018 FFS! Shotgun weddings are a bit old hat!

A family friend when I was pregnant with twins "Do you guys not have a tv then?"

Er... a) that's not how twins happen and b) IT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS HOW OFTEN I HAVE SEX.

Plus all the usual observations about being huge. Don't know where people expected me to hide the two human beings in my uterus.

"You're huge!" x 1000

"Your bump is only so big because of your sedentary lifestyle. You must stop eating sweet things." - "helpful" relative. I am at the lower end of the NHS recommended weight gain for pregnancy.

"Are you going to EAT that?" - different helpful relative, on the rare occasion I picked up a sweet thing.

"Sorry about your big belly, luv." - from bitchy (male) stranger on the street when I was obviously heavily pregnant

"There is no point in me trying to find the heartbeat. You need to realise that you have no control over this at all, anything could happen, and just because the baby has a heartbeat today doesn't mean he won't be gone tomorrow." - Midwife at 16 week appointment, delivered in a condescending tone after I had said that I wanted him to try to find the heartbeat as I had been feeling anxious. Super-reassuring...

"Why are you having a C section? Have you got medical issues?" I have met you twice. It's none of your business.

"How much weight have you gained? How much weight do you expect to gain over the whole pregnancy, will it be more than 15 kilos?" Fuck knows, I don't know why you care, and it's none of your business.

And the usuals...

"Are you sure there is only one in there?" LOL, hilarious.

"Get your sleep now, while you can" x 1000. I have pregnancy-related insomnia.

"Have you got everything organised?" x 1000. No. Please stop reminding me.

"Not long now!" x 1000

"It's going to be a big change!" x 1000

PEOPLE.

"You must be having a girl as you're growing wide as well as out!" (from one person)..... funny that because everyone else has said I'm "neat"

and as soon as you have had the baby, people switch to 'when are you having the next one?'

People - I have a 2 month old baby, my long term plan is to sleep at some point in the next year.

I'm only having the one...I'd reply.

Someone actually said 'oh that's mean'.

I see you have your Judgy pants pulled up to the chest, I wanted to say but didn't.

Plus all the helpful advice once you have your bambino - a whole world of comment there. I especially liked 'Why are they crying?'

FFS If I could figure it out I'd make the crying stop. (It was colic that went on and on and joined seamlessly to teething)

I refrain from passing any comment on pregnant women, only when are you due?...that's like when you ever get a taxi and end up saying 'so, been busy today?'

My female GP asked was it planned - in a censorious way.

I was 36. She also belittled me when I asked about pains in womb at early stage - did I need to worry. Later I read these can be 'bedding in pains' as embryo gets going.

I changed GP after that.

Another GP said 'red heads feel more pain'. I said 'It's only henna'

My MIL asked if dd2 was planned - my retort was "have you just asked if I actually meant to have sex with your son?" She went quiet after that. She's said some frankly bonkers things since having the kids though!
My workplace have twice asked me to confirm verbally that I won't have any more children - the same member of staff thought nothing of telling me how huge I was (despite measuring small and needing several growth scans in both pregnancies)
People are dicks when it comes to pregnant women! Honestly it's like they lose all filter and reason!

When I told my team I was pregnant one of my staff asked out loud in front of others 'will you be having a c section or a vaginal delivery'. I was just and just moved on.

He asked me again a week before I broke up for maternity. I did that time manage to reply 'I'm not sure it's any of your business'. But still

Yup the usual ‘was it planned’ from a colleague I hardly know. Considering we just got married and had been together 8 year it was a weird comment.. I think she’s the type to not plan babies though so was projecting a bit..

‘Are you breastfeeding’ from a male customer at work! I just got flustered and muttered ‘I’m not sure’. Caught me off guard.

Just the constant comments on my size. Having now been pregnant I will never comment on bump size to a pregnant woman ever again.

I was talking to a co-working about an appointment i have coming up and she asked 'you're not having a section are you?' 'No, unless its needed' her reply was 'recovery would prob be alot harder on you with your stomach (i am over weight) in fact they prob would need to staple you!) my look must have said it all she quickly apologised!!

In my second pregnancy (I already had one son) I was asked by a total stranger - "if this one is a girl will you be done?". I was also asked by my uncle - "Are you hoping this one is a girl?" "I really don't mind to be honest" "But I bet you are really hoping for a girl". It was a second boy

I'm now pregnant again, and waiting for a similar round of comments. If it is a girl, I think we will have to have another baby just to prove that we didn't keep going just to have a girl

SIL told MIL that she "just can't picture" DP and I with a baby after we told her I was pregnant. That annoyed me!

Also, being due tomorrow and fed up with being so huge and uncomfortable, if one more person (including bloody DP) tells me "he'll come when he's ready", I might be forced to resort to physical assault. I know that labour won't just happen because I'm willing it to, but I feel like I'm entitled to wish it would hurry up after 9 months of growing this baby!

When announcing to ILs, FIL said did I know I was definitely pregnant or was my period just late. My response was just to cringe although MIL told him off! He's usually very nice too!

An acquaintance from the gym actually said ‘oh, do you want to be pregnant?’ When I mentioned it! In her defence, she definitely has some SN and it probably didn’t occur to her that it came across as rude. We’re probably a similar age and she’s likely had it drilled into her that she shouldn’t get pregnant so it’s probably not normal to her for one of her peers to be having a baby.

"Is it twins?" from a male colleague who had only realised I was pregnant about 2 weeks previously. I suppose I had gone from looking like there was no bump to suddenly looking pregnant within that time but still!

Father in law's first response was "oh, was it an accident"...ummmm no, but how is that your business!
Friend of the family gasped and said oh my god you're huge, you do know you've got 4 months left. Yes, I am aware of that, I'm actually measuring spot on and even if I was big there is very little I can do to control the size of my bump.
Mum told me to watch what I'm eating as my arms looked large. Cheeeeers mother.
On the flip side a Colleague asked if I was worried because my bump was so small...

Honestly I don't know why people think it's ok to comment on your body. I'm a size 10 have gained a normal amount of weight and have a pretty average sized bump but those sorts of comments made me a paranoid mess!!

Every time I saw my MIL she would say "Hey Fatty" which drove me up the wall! I just ignored her though as she had done loads for us and it was usually said when we met up for dinner.. Which she often paid for 😂

Oh the bump comments - people constantly commenting he’s small and doesn’t seem to be growing - had to email them to ask them to stop as I had a miscarriage last time and am at risk of small baby hence consultant led care - though he’s actually measuring ahead I was told yesterday!!

The “I spoke to such and such and they’re really struggling, no sleep, never go out etc” from a girl who desperately wants a child (but won’t admit that to me - she has to others) so keeps banging on about how much “coin” (she’s almost 39 ffs - not 18) she has and how we’re going to spend all our cash on a baby/not be able to go away etc - erm, since when did you know anything about my personal finances love?!

Comments from my MIL about how OH and I wouldn’t be able to go away for our long weekends now (we go away a lot) as she “won’t be looking after the baby”. Soon changed her tune when I said “that’s fine, my parents will” - all of a sudden she wanted to volunteer.

People think they’re entitled to an opinion just because you’re pregnant but they’re not, it’s not a bloody publicly owned belly!!! Also agree with poster above who is sick of random staring at belly - getting that a lot too!!!

"Was it planned" by colleagues really got my back up - I'm 35 and in a long term relationship. Although I can't imagine saying that to anyone - it's so personal and intrusive! Also massively unhelpful because if it wasn't planned then what bearing does that have on anything? Clearly the response should still be 'congratulations'!
Other than that the constant size and shape comments are wearing - it's exhausting feeling under scrutiny all the time.

"Twins? God, I'd kill myself if I ever got pregnant with twins"

If that wasnt bad enough on its own, it was said by someone who knew I was a twin

My response was "well good job these babies won't have you as a parent then, eh?"

Other most inappropriate comment in a wholly different way was from midwife on post natal ward. Told her I'd had boy & girl twins that were in the Neonatal Intensive Care unit. She said "Are they identical?" . My only response was "Pardon?"!

If you think it’s bad now, wait til the baby arrives!

I have twins and at least 75% of the time, the first question people ask is “are they natural?”. I just say “oh no, they’re cyborgs” and hold eye contact.