Most inappropriate comments & your responses?

[Toomanyorchids]

I've heard a few people have really awful comments made to them while they are pregnant and wondered what your worst comment has been and how you reacted to it?

I'm newly pregnant and trying to prepare myself for what might be in store!

"You must be mad" when pregnant at 43 with lots of older kids, new partner and having had cancer.

After a while I started to say "what, having a baby with my new Dh after cancer?, I'm not mad I'm ecstatic" 🤣 That shut them up.

When we was deciding on a name ex-FIL suggested Chernobyl (Disaster) the cunt!! Also nephew told me I didn't suit pregnancy and I just looked fat, I was 8 months at the time

When pregnant with my first at about 30-35 weeks I was out walking the dog and happened to bump into one of my old church pastors and his wife. He didn't congratulate me or anything, just asked when it was due and gave me a look up and down and said you look like you're ready to pop now you're massive! Then went on his way..

Not a very nice man to be honest, as I recently found out he burns caterpillar nests (ok they might be annoying - but he's a pastor?), and realising now there may have been a reason my mum changed church with us years ago!

Someone I only just met at a wedding 6 weeks after having ds asked if they had to “cut me as you are very tiny!!!”

I didn't mind the comments about me being fat! I loved my fatness. I thought I looked awesome when I was pregnant, like an iron age fertility goddess And I think most comments about bump size etc are meant as compliments ('you're so big' = wow you're doing a great job, 'your bump is so small!' = it's amazing that you haven't put on weight apart from the baby! You look great).

I didn't even mind people touching my bump!

This thread is making me broody

I stare at people's bumps sometimes because I'm jealous 😂

We went to visit some of my mum's family about a week after inhad my fist DS. My uncle said to me, "what was labour like? Did it feel like you were doing the biggest jobby of your life" and laughed, in front of a full living room of people. I was pretty embarrassed. Didn't know what to say to that.

A week or so before my due date, a woman in her 50s came up to me and said, 'Not long now!' (I'm small so my bump looked huge). When I said how I excited I was she looked me up and down in disgust and said, 'Oh dear, is it your first? You'll learn', then walked off cackling to herself...

Also got a letter from a family member a month before that ordering us to get married before the birth so DD 'wouldn't have to be brought up a bastard'.

EnglishIrishRose, I started off sharing far too much out of sheer politeness. The passing years - and going on to adopt - have taught me the necessity of being ready to fend off intrusive questions. Now, when people ask me how I conceived my first, I say something flippant like 'fairy dust' or 'immaculate conception or 'witchcraft'. If they don't take the hint, I'll smile winningly and say. 'Do you mind if we don't talk about that? I'd much rather hear your advice on x/ run a few baby names past you/ just enjoy the stage I'm at now'.

We have three children with close age gaps, 2 and 3 are 17 months apart. I hadn't seen my H's friends throughout most of my pregnancy and saw them at a wedding. His friend just stood and pointed and laughed at my very pregnant stomach for a good 40 seconds. It was really uncomfortable.

I had a new colleague, whose name I didn't even know yet ask " was it planned or a surprise" I was 36 (and married) so was surprised at how many people seemed to think my baby was an accident.

After I had had the baby, the amount of total strangers who would ask "are you breastfeeding?" I would reply politely whilst thinking "I don't even know you and you are basically wanting to talk to me about my tits"

Had a few but the one that pissed me off was the health visitor. She asked me was baby planned? I replied not really, we were gonna start trying at the end of the year ( this was in june) but it happened a bit earlier, it happened first go. She then turned around and said well maybe next Time you will learn how to use contraception. I was fuming! She's there to help me prepare not judge. Couldn't what she says to other women.
People asking if im breast feeding, like I want to talk about my boobs to everyone.
Everyone touching and talking to my belly. Pissed my right off that.
And at the near end every one phoning and texting me is she out yet. I was 13 days later and in shitty mood. I just talked to no one and glared at anyone who asked when they can clearly see baby is not out.

I had a really small bump. When at a BBQ I was asked in front of many people when DS was due - he was due 3 days later.

When I told them they all went on and on and on about how I had my dates wrong and was only a few months pregnant (as if I couldn't count). Or told me my baby would be small, sickly and am I ready for the amount of care he'd need?

Twats.

Popped out a 7.5lb baby a week later. They were most put out.

Just been for a stroll locally and separately bumped into two people I know from a sports club I used to be involved with. In conversation (mostly them commenting that they haven’t seen me doing much sport lately) I told them I’m pregnant. One asked if I was married and when I said I wasn’t said “better get that sorted then, you don’t want an illegitimate child” and the other said “are you going to get married, or don’t young people do that these days?”. I’m 36 and have been with my partner for 8 years so I’m hardly a “young person” for a start! Obviously it’s none of their blimmin business, but it really hurts when that’s what people say instead of “congratulations” or something vaguely pleasant. It makes me not want to tell anyone, which is ridiculous after nearly 3 years of wanting this child and going through IVF. Sorry just had to have a rant!

Im 8 months preg with number 2, I also just happen to be a sexual health and contraceptive nurse. I cannot tell you how many comments ive had, I've been told I must not be a very good one ( nurse)and that I should know better considering my job! I'm 33, married with a toddler!
We haven't found out the sex either and people seem to get quite angered by this, "well how can you plan clothes, bedrooms etc without knowing". Fools .

The only thing I ever say to pregnant women is how great they look and how neat their bump is. I say this to them all, no matter what they look like! I had a few less than helpful comments during pregnancy and see no reason to make someone who already feels like shit and is aware that they are quite large feel bad.

I just got lots of "was it IVF" off healthcare professionals mostly as I'm at the time old age of 41..... Oh and a "was it planned" off the Health Visitor!?!

These are awful but cheering me up too!

I get a lot of "was it planned?" as though it's surprising that two mid-30s professionals would have planned a baby!

Also I think she was meaning to be nice, but when I told my boss, after a miserably unwell and anxious 1st trimester, she exclaimed "Oh thank God! You looked so awful I thought you were dying!"

I forgot - when we told my gran that I was pregnant she said "you know it'll be a bastard?" (We aren't married). My dad was furious with her and she phoned to apologise the next day.

A million ( well nearly) years ago was 20 and expecting first baby. Was sat inside the hospital waiting for a bus and an old man asked me if I was waiting to see the dietician. If it happened now I'd have the confidence kick him in the bollocks !

I work with the public and i am always asked when im coming back to work, how long am im planning on taking or am i coming back to work? Seriously?! Let me have the baby first!! I alway fob them off with ill see what next year brings!!!

Colleague asked me to do something for her the following week and I explained I couldn't as today was my last day before mat leave. She exclaimed 'Oh my god are you pregnant? I thought you'd just got really fat!' She wasn't joking.
MIL: 'Well I hope you won't be expecting us to babysit' when I was 12 weeks.
Distant relative of DH who I'd never met before, at a funeral when I was about 6 months pregnant 'Well you're obviously having a girl, look at how wide you are, you're carrying it all round your hips and bum'. Thanks, I wasn't self-conscious enough already.

I had a Hyperemesis pregnancy and got totally fed up of being told 'you've got to eat something' or 'try ginger' whilst struggling to keep water down. I swear I could've screamed at them.

My Dm came round one day when I was having a bad episode and told me to 'just get on with it, your pregnant not dying' she promptly got told to 'get the Fuck out of my house and don't bother returning'.

My line manager told me he knew exactly what it was like to be pregnant as he had 4 Dc and that I was attention seeking and making a fuss over nothing.

I hate the comments before getting pregnant when someone asks 'do you want any more'? and if you say yes they say 'ooh you must be mad' because you have 2-3 already. Why?

Before my 1st I was a career girl so pretty much everyone at work asked me if it was planned when I told them I was pregnant with DD. I'm now pregnant with DC3 And there will only be a 17m gap so expecting a lot more of that...it was but why does it matter?!

When I told my dad I was pregnant he said...how did that happen?! I was like do you really want me to answer that!