Most inappropriate comments & your responses?

[Toomanyorchids]

I've heard a few people have really awful comments made to them while they are pregnant and wondered what your worst comment has been and how you reacted to it?

I'm newly pregnant and trying to prepare myself for what might be in store!

Some of these comments are so awful, I live some of your responses though - really making me chuckle!!

First time I saw FIL after telling them I was pregnant I told him I'd been offered a permanent contract in work. "Will you still get that now you're pregnant?" WTAF? This is from someone who had a very senior role in his working life! My reply "Well, if I don't I'll have them before an employment tribunal before they know what's hit them!" Also got "Sorry it's a personal question, but are you going to find out the sex?" No, and that's not personal, but it was then followed by "Were you trying?" which is VERY personal! I said we had been, not sure why...

@namechangedtoday15 It's common for twins who are different sexes to be asked that throughout their lives. People are even stupid enough to ask their siblings.

I'm only five weeks and shared the news with my sister earlier this week, and told her I'm having an early scan to try and ease my anxiety. My BIL (who is really nice but obsessed with all things medical) told me there is basically no point having the scan as "anything could happen at any time". Thanks!!!!

@BlueBug45 Yes, the twins are now 13 and I've been asked that question hundreds of times.

My point was that you wouldn't expect to be asked that by a medically trained midwife!!!!!

Best response for the identical question is “yes, totally identical... except for the penis”

great response Tammy!

My MIL was on phone to my sister in law who asked how I was. Her response "VERY fat and very tired". Totally unjustified as I carried my 2nd very small!

The checkout lady at aldi asked when i was due, and before i had time to answer added "soon by looks of it". i told her i was 30 weeks and she gave me a look and said my god youll be huge by then, you look ready to pop now! which is just what you want to hear a few days before you go on holiday and already have issues about being in a bikini

I'm a lesbian, so I just had to fend off eleventy trillion intrusive questions a day about the HOW.

We've only told family to this point but we have had the usual "you said you didn't want children" - No! I said 6 years ago I didn't want children at that point as we were skint saving for our house, 22 years old and enjoying time just us. Completely different now!
I've got the "are you sure it isn't twins, runs in family you know"
"What are you gonna do about not drinking"

"You know you can't eat cheese now"

@gryffen im Scottish too but from the east. I'm not entirely surprised things like that are still said. It's very sad though that people still have those kind of views. It's very hard to laugh off or make a passing comment isn't it?

Iv got “was it planned” a couple of times.
When someone aked how my pregnacy was going i said its great apart from the sickness, not in a complaining way i just said it. And the response was “you should have kept your legs shut then”

Put this comment on another thread but probably more appropriate here:

“Oh don’t worry darling, don’t you feel ashamed that it wasn’t planned and don’t let anyone judge you. You deserve to be respected. Yes, yes dear, and nobody here cares that it wasn’t planned. Don’t let this make you feel like your life is over, you can still be happy”, chirped creepy old male neighbour.

I didn't ever say the baby wasn’t planned or that I wasn’t happy about it, I just said that I was pregnant!

My friend would call me 'fatty' which used to hurt. However she is quite overweight and I think she was just enjoying the fact that I was bigger than her . She did at one point apologise and said that she meant it as a joke. Still, those last few weeks of pregnancy are hard when you feel massive, uncomfortable and emotional! Even jokey comments are not well received!!!

Ran into my midwife yesterday she said are you sure it's not twins?

At 8 months pregnant last time, 10 people in one day ask if I was pregnant (size 10, 5'2" and vvv obviously hugely pregnant)

Was it planned, I've had 4 pregnancies in 3 years (2 miscarriages) you'd of thought I'd of managed to sort out better contraceptive by now if it wasn't planned.

@Ketzele I'm looking forward to that when I have a bigger bump... not! How do you respond? I feel like saying 'none of your business' but I don't want to come across as rude.

The only comment I've had so far (no visible bump yet) was on telling someone by due date, which is near Christmas. An older lady overheard and said, 'Well THAT was a bit stupid wasn't it? Not very well planned!' and went off muttering about 'young people today'.

It's not that inappropriate but I found it puzzling why complete strangers always wanted to know my due date.

Like, 12 November. Now that's confirmed let's go our separate ways and never see or think about each other again!

I am a teacher and when I was pregnant with dd1 I was teaching year 6. We spent a week doing sex education at which point I was q4 weeks pregnant myself. 2 weeks later I ended up telling my class I was pregnant myself.

There was a pause then one of the more cheeky boys raised an eyebrow and said 'aye aye miss! We know what that means!'

I smiled back and said 'at least you know I know what I'm talking about!'

They burst out laughing and were so amazingly sweet, the class was 'lad' heavy but they never let me pick up a chair, move a desk or anything from then on. They all clubbed together at the end of term and bought a teddy and book for my baby. I sobbed!

Awww widget that’s so sweet! You sound like a great teacher, and what a lovely class!

"Are you sure you are even pregnant" I am very small, and have always had a small frame. There is nothing worst than feeling like you aren't having a normal pregnancy...

My stepmother in law congratulated me on "opening my vagina" and then congratulated my partner for having "super sperm"...

I mean... I didn't even know how to react lol my natural reaction would to mention something about anal, like "makes a change from opening my arsehole" but not quite appropriate for the MIL!

"You're only 16 weeks? Really? Is it twins?"

"Do you get to choose whether you have a boy or a girl?"

And an acquaintance I'd only met once before interrogated me about my baby's father (we're not together). Where does he live? Where exactly? What is his job? Where does he work? How much money does he have?

Very awkward. I wish I'd just told Mr Nosy that I didn't want to talk about it.

When I was having my first baby, some 27 years ago (old gimmer), a woman at work used to come up to me every day and say things like "How many weeks are you? You should be bigger than that by now." Or "Have you felt it moving? You should be feeling it by now."
As it was my first I didn't really feel definite movement until 5 months and she made we very anxious and upset. It turned out, months later, that she was also pregnant and worried that she wasn't very big/feeling any movement and she was projecting it all onto me. She was a bit odd anyway, but if she'd confided in me, we could have been friends, maybe. As it was, what with comments from her and some real horrors from other women, I did feel the first few months of my pregnancy were spoiled a bit, by anxiety. I bumped into projecting woman at the clinic after we'd had our babies and she was very friendly, but I couldn't bring myself to speak to her.

By a completely random person at the doctor's office: "Are you still with the dad?"

I was, but why the hell it was any of her business I've no idea.