Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

He's engaged and just had a baby and now I am pregnant for him

83 replies

Saralaso · 02/06/2018 00:31

Really need some logical advice here. I'm so in my emotions I can't think straight. I have been in a relationship with my fiancé for a few years now and we love each other very much. But most recently things between us got so rough and I called it off and we split up. He still hasn't given up trying to be with me though. But I started a relationship with a coworker of mine. He's a good guy and treats me really well and it's been eight months with him so far and as a side note my fiancé still is perusing almost impatiently. My now bf coworker already has a fiancé too which I knew but what I didn't know was she was pregnant which he didn't tell me until a month before she was due because he says he "didn't want to lose me" and now his baby is born. I just found out I am pregnant for him and over this past month of finding out about his soon to be born baby.. I started talking to my ex again and our communication has improved. I feel so conflicted on who to be with. My fiancé is fine with still being with me if I choose but he is pressuring me for an answer and so is my bf coworker. I want my baby to have his real father and not a 'broken' family (not in a bad way) but I'm not sure I can deal with his separate woman and baby life. I want to feel like a priority but him having an outside baby and the mother being in our life for years and years... I don't think I can emotionally handle that. I can be very possessive in my relationships.. In the sense that I want what's mine to be only mine. That's what I pictured my future to be my whole life.

I'm so in my emotions that I don't know what is the best choice for my soon to be baby and me. And both guys wanting to be the one makes me feel more pressured and confused. I need advise. Desperately

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 02/06/2018 00:35

Neither.

He isn't your fiance, he's your ex.

Your bf is engaged to someone else and has a baby with her. They will get married at some point if she doesn't find out about you.

Be single, let the baby's father be in its life.

SickofPeterRabbit · 02/06/2018 00:36

What do you mean by pregnant for him? As in a surrogate?? I don't understand

crunchtime · 02/06/2018 00:39

Have a termination.
Get good contraception sorted out.
Grow up .

SleepingStandingUp · 02/06/2018 00:40

I think op's first language isn't English and means pregnant BY him

LovingLola · 02/06/2018 00:43

So you are engaged but have split up.
You have been in a relationship for 8 months and have just found out that you are pregnant.
The man you are in a relationship with is engaged to another woman who has just had his baby.

So are you still engaged to the first man? And is your current man still enagage to the mother of his child?

LovingLola · 02/06/2018 00:44

Has your current partner heard of contraception?

HollyGibney · 02/06/2018 00:47

I can't stand pregnant by or for or to someone. You are pregnant with someone surely? But then does that sound like the nauseating "we are pregnant?" I don't know, it just sounds like they did it to you rather than you doing it together, sounds so weird and passive.

Anyway, OP, are you saying that he has a fiancée that has a baby with and is planning to marry? Or is she his ex? It all sounds horribly messy. If the former then it's surely out of your hands or do you and he intend that you be the secret OW forever?

Original poster
Saralaso · 02/06/2018 00:49

LovingLola> Yes.. All of this is true

OP posts:
LovingLola · 02/06/2018 00:50

My now bf coworker already has a fiancé too which I knew

So you knew this man that you work with was engaged but you still got involved with him??? So what makes you think he won't do the same to you? Get involved with someone else now that you are pregnant?

MyKingdomForBrie · 02/06/2018 00:50

He’s not your boyfriend he’s engaged!! Neither of these men are right for you. Be single and focus on your baby.

AornisHades · 02/06/2018 00:51

This good guy who treats you well has a fiancee that you knew about and a pregnancy you didn't?
Your standards are low.
Don't kid yourself that he'll be a family with you long term.

Original poster
Saralaso · 02/06/2018 00:52

HollyGibney > they are still engaged. He is not sure about continuing. Seems he wants me to be sure and fully committed to him before he can feel confident to move on with only me...

OP posts:
SleepingStandingUp · 02/06/2018 00:53

Break up with him.

SleepingStandingUp · 02/06/2018 00:53

He's engaged and having a baby with someone, if he loved you that much he would have broken up with her by now.

BabiesDontNeedDaddies · 02/06/2018 00:54

You need to stop with both of them and work on being a better you for your kid

Original poster
Saralaso · 02/06/2018 00:54

LovingLola > I've thought of this. Another reason I am not comfortable to give him that commitment.

OP posts:
zenasfuck · 02/06/2018 00:56

Why would you have an affair with someone who is engaged ?
Vile vile vile

Emmageddon · 02/06/2018 00:57

Does your fiance know you're pregnant by your co-worker? Does your co-worker's fiancee know you're pregnant by her fiance? It all sounds very tawdry. Why on earth did you choose to sleep with a man who wasn't and isn't single?

Faez · 02/06/2018 00:58

What the Jeff

lottiegarbanzo · 02/06/2018 00:59

If you wanted 'what's yours to be yours' you'd only go out with men who are single and available.

Your 'boyfriend' isn't yours at all. You've had an affair with a soon-to-be-married man.

Did he ever even suggest that he'd be willing to leave his fiance and new baby for you?

Try thinking about your baby first, your own need to be the stable, responsible grown-up from now on, and put all this silly drama and possessiveness over people you have no claim upon behind you.

QueenB14 · 02/06/2018 01:00

Stop hedging your bets and walk away from both. You are clearly not committed to either one

EllenRipley · 02/06/2018 01:00

Oh dear god.

QueenB14 · 02/06/2018 01:01

And the engaged guy obviously isn't committed to anyone

fuzzywuzzy · 02/06/2018 01:01

How exactly do you think you are going to bring up your baby in a ‘family’ with a man who is in a relationship with someone else? You understand you’re not his family you are the other woman.

SD1978 · 02/06/2018 01:02

Eh? Have you been sleeping with the alleged still fiancée for the last 8 months? If you split up- I’m not understanding how you still refer to him as a fiancée. You are the OW for your ‘boyfriend’ who is happily sleeping with two women. Your ex wants to restart things, does that include playing daddy to the baby that isn’t his? You (potentially) from your writing style are not a native English speaker, so assuming from elsewhere? Do you have support here when both men walk away?

Swipe left for the next trending thread