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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

He's engaged and just had a baby and now I am pregnant for him

83 replies

Saralaso · 02/06/2018 00:31

Really need some logical advice here. I'm so in my emotions I can't think straight. I have been in a relationship with my fiancé for a few years now and we love each other very much. But most recently things between us got so rough and I called it off and we split up. He still hasn't given up trying to be with me though. But I started a relationship with a coworker of mine. He's a good guy and treats me really well and it's been eight months with him so far and as a side note my fiancé still is perusing almost impatiently. My now bf coworker already has a fiancé too which I knew but what I didn't know was she was pregnant which he didn't tell me until a month before she was due because he says he "didn't want to lose me" and now his baby is born. I just found out I am pregnant for him and over this past month of finding out about his soon to be born baby.. I started talking to my ex again and our communication has improved. I feel so conflicted on who to be with. My fiancé is fine with still being with me if I choose but he is pressuring me for an answer and so is my bf coworker. I want my baby to have his real father and not a 'broken' family (not in a bad way) but I'm not sure I can deal with his separate woman and baby life. I want to feel like a priority but him having an outside baby and the mother being in our life for years and years... I don't think I can emotionally handle that. I can be very possessive in my relationships.. In the sense that I want what's mine to be only mine. That's what I pictured my future to be my whole life.

I'm so in my emotions that I don't know what is the best choice for my soon to be baby and me. And both guys wanting to be the one makes me feel more pressured and confused. I need advise. Desperately

OP posts:

PlumsGalore · 02/06/2018 05:16

Agree exactly with what was written by takfujuimoto

emmyrose2000 · 02/06/2018 05:27

My now bf coworker already has a fiancé too which I knew
In other words, you are the other woman.

But I started a relationship with a coworker of mine. He's a good guy and treats me really well
No, he's a not a good guy. He's a sleaze who cheated on his fiance, and mother of his child.

I'm not sure I can deal with his separate woman and baby life. I want to feel like a priority but him having an outside baby and the mother being in our life for years and years...
YOUR child will the 'outside' baby. The first child was born to a man and woman who had already made a commitment to each other, before you came along and hooked up with Mr Sleaze. On the off chance he left her for you, his first child and its mother will still be part of your life, whether you like it or not.

Time to put me first for once
Seems you've been doing that all along, by sleeping with someone you knew was already engaged and expecting a baby with another woman.

None of you sound mature enough to be raising a goldfish, let alone innocent children.

ThumbWitchesAbroad · 02/06/2018 05:36

This, for me, comes under the heading of grow the fuck up and take some responsibility for your actions.
Why on earth did you get pregnant by someone else's fiancé, when you're apparently so possessive in your relationships that you want what is yours to be only yours? He ISN'T only yours, he wasn't yours to start with, and you don't allow anyone else to want what you want?

You have no stable family unit into which to bring this child so stop fantasising that you will have. The biological father of your child is engaged to someone else , for fuck's sake, and he already has a child with her!

I do hope this is a troll because I can't believe the selfish nerve of some people.

JingsMahBucket · 02/06/2018 05:38

I highly suggest you have a termination, dump both men, then get therapy to help you understand why you pursued this track. It seems like you might have some self esteem and self respect issues that need to be understood and worked out. It’s much easier to do this unencumbered and single. Oh, and get an STD check. Take care of yourself.

AnnieAnoniMouser · 02/06/2018 05:38

You have been putting yourself first for 8 months while fucking someone else’s fiancé. Stop playing the martyr.

No baby should be brought into this bloody mess. Stay away from both of these guys and grow the fuck up. If you’re not too far along, then I suggest you seriously consider a termination.

Or, stop winding people up & get some studying done! 🙄

Bibesia · 02/06/2018 05:57

I don't understand your reference to an outside baby. Given that this man has a fiancée and child, surely yours is the "outside baby"?

AnnaMagnani · 02/06/2018 06:13

You should be with neither of these men.

Your ex is your ex for a reason. Leave and be done.

The fiance is not a fiance - he is engaged and having a baby with someone else. He is a rat.

It is time to sadly face facts - you have had two shitty relationships and are now pregnant. You are either going to be a single parent or have a termination. However neither of these men is going to be what you want them to be.

Wishesdocometrue · 02/06/2018 06:19

Have a termination and sort yourself out.

HoppingPavlova · 02/06/2018 06:38

Don’t know but I understand Jerry Springer is quite good with these sorts of issues.

PrettyLovely · 02/06/2018 06:42

This "good guy" is having sex with his pregnant partner and you also pregnant unprotected and you are up for that YUCK.
Get some morals and higher your standards.
Oh and get a sexual health check if hes got that lower morals cheating on his pregnant partner you probably arent the only other woman.

Grandmaswagsbag · 02/06/2018 06:44

If you’re truly up for being a single parent, go ahead and have the baby. If not, I would suggest an abortion might be your best solution.

differentnameforthis · 02/06/2018 06:54

Conflicted about who to be with ? Perhaps give men a swerve for a bit and try to find out why you would want either of these men. And stop helping men cheat.

differentnameforthis · 02/06/2018 06:58

Also, if he can cheat on his pregnant fiance, he can cheat on you.

differentnameforthis · 02/06/2018 07:04

Seems he wants me to be sure and fully committed to him before he can feel confident to move on with only me... so his current fiance is a back up. He wont leave her until you commit because he wants a women to be at his beck and call. If he leaves his cyrrent guance, and you say no, he won't have a sap woman to cook, clean and run the house, or anyone to fuck. Because that's all either of you are. A object to satisfy his wants

differentnameforthis · 02/06/2018 07:05

cyrrent guance - current fiance

PenelopeFlintstone · 02/06/2018 07:09

Termination. Clean slate. No more dishonesty.

Undercoverbanana · 02/06/2018 07:12

I would have a termination, a check for STIs and a head wobble. I’m sorry OP but this is not a way that I could live or bring a baby into. I have done some silly things and I have made mistakes, but this is not a way to conduct a life. Neither of these men are any good for you. You need to sort yourself out.

TammySwansonTwo · 02/06/2018 07:53

I think you need some counselling to figure out why you’re trying to decide between two men you clearly shouldn’t be with. Are you scared to be alone? If it were me I would not have a child in this situation. I don’t think you can fully understand what it would take for a man to be sleeping with someone else firing and after his partner’s pregnancy. This is an indescribably terrible thing to do to someone, and he’s been doing it for almost the whole pregnancy, and is leaving her at home with the baby to have sex with you. It’s unimaginable. He is not a good person.

DragonMummy1418 · 02/06/2018 08:30

I pity your baby

Blaablaablaa · 02/06/2018 09:02

Basically you've been sleeping with a man who has a pregnant fiancée.....he's spun you a line about wanting to know if you're committed but essentially he's having his cake and eating it. He never had any intention of leaving and was just using you.

You need to walk away. Think long and hard about whether you want this baby and stop sleeping with men in realtionships

BettyPitts · 02/06/2018 09:05

Your only option here is to go on Jeremy Kyle, he'll be full of advice for you.

HTH.

TokenBritPoshOfCourse · 02/06/2018 09:06

Are you using ‘fiance’ to mean something different than the usual?

greendale17 · 02/06/2018 09:10

You have been putting yourself first for 8 months while fucking someone else’s fiancé. Stop playing the martyr.

^This. Disgusting behaviour

TheDrinksAreOnMe · 02/06/2018 09:14

You lost me at calling your ex fiancé and then revealing you are a pregnant OW and aware your now-bf is actually someone’s fiancé

Hate a home wrecker

TheDrinksAreOnMe · 02/06/2018 09:16

Oh and before anyone starts I am very aware the man is to blame here, but there’s names for women who knowingly get involved in affairs

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