He's engaged and just had a baby and now I am pregnant for him

[Saralaso]

Really need some logical advice here. I'm so in my emotions I can't think straight. I have been in a relationship with my fiancé for a few years now and we love each other very much. But most recently things between us got so rough and I called it off and we split up. He still hasn't given up trying to be with me though. But I started a relationship with a coworker of mine. He's a good guy and treats me really well and it's been eight months with him so far and as a side note my fiancé still is perusing almost impatiently. My now bf coworker already has a fiancé too which I knew but what I didn't know was she was pregnant which he didn't tell me until a month before she was due because he says he "didn't want to lose me" and now his baby is born. I just found out I am pregnant for him and over this past month of finding out about his soon to be born baby.. I started talking to my ex again and our communication has improved. I feel so conflicted on who to be with. My fiancé is fine with still being with me if I choose but he is pressuring me for an answer and so is my bf coworker. I want my baby to have his real father and not a 'broken' family (not in a bad way) but I'm not sure I can deal with his separate woman and baby life. I want to feel like a priority but him having an outside baby and the mother being in our life for years and years... I don't think I can emotionally handle that. I can be very possessive in my relationships.. In the sense that I want what's mine to be only mine. That's what I pictured my future to be my whole life.

I'm so in my emotions that I don't know what is the best choice for my soon to be baby and me. And both guys wanting to be the one makes me feel more pressured and confused. I need advise. Desperately

So basically you were having an affair with an engaged co worker whose fiance/wife has had the baby and you did not have the foresight to stay on contraception until he was a single man.

Good luck.

You're the outside woman and your baby is the outside baby. You're the other woman, and she is the one that's part of his family. From your timescales it sounds like he started seeing you pretty much at around the time he found out his fiancee was pregnant. He's clearly a scumbag. But you've also been pretty stupid and naive to see him as your boyfriend and think for a second that you might ever have any sort of family life with him.

Shagging someone for 8 months isn't a mistake.
Putting salt in your tea instead of sugar is a mistake.
Be a single mum if you want. I'm not going to tell you to terminate the pregnancy. Not my place.
But I agree with the PP who suggested an STI check and a head wobble.
You need to start acting like a grown up.

Get rid of both of them. Think seriously about a termination, because you aren’t responsible enough to raise a child right now. Learn and grow within yourself before your next relationship.

You don’t want the complication. The best course of action in this case is a termination. You don’t sound in a good enough place emotionally to have a child tbh and father of your child isn’t a good guy.

Stop messing your ex fiancée around, tell him it’s over and grow some pride. It would do you plenty of good to be man free for at least 12 months and discover who you really are. Because right now, you don’t sound like a very nice or principled person. Is that who you really want to be?

wow.
You knowingly got involved with a man who has a fiance and little baby.
What does that make you?
What a man you chose!

Get a termination

Dump both men (and stay single for a year afterwards to sort yourself out)

Look for a new job away from your co worker

In future, only date men who are single and don’t sleep with them unless they use protection every time. I hope you will learn from this mess and grow up a bit.

OP what were the 'tough times' with your ex? Why would you think he has ( or you have) changed in 8 months?

Since you describe new 'BF" as good guy I'm assuming you felt ex was not. My advice is to leave him as an ex, don't go back.

The new guy really will never fulfil your wish for a family with you since he has a new family with someone else, whom he is/ planning to marry. If he can be unfaithful to her, with you, so early on this tells you who he is. This relationship is very unlikely to run to happy ever after.

Neither of these two men are likely to be a good choice.

Can you imagine having a child as a single mum? Have you family support, housing, enough income? Can you talk to a counsellor, GP, family planning nurse or health visitor? Only you can decide whether to have this child or not, but ditch both these men and spend some time on your own to work out a plan.

Good luck.