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Pregnancy

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Original poster

4.5 year age gap. Does anyone else have this gap?

30 replies

Charlottehb1992 · 22/03/2018 07:00

Hi, I have just found out I’m pregnant with baby no.2 😍 my little boy will be 4 in may and will be 4.5 when baby is born. I am worrying the age gap is too big. Has anyone else got this big of a age gap?

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Theworldisfullofidiots · 22/03/2018 07:06

Yep , mine are current 16 (dd) and 11 (ds). There's 4 and 1/2 years between them and they get on swimmingly.
They have the odd bicker and apart from that they get on v well.

Phillipa12 · 22/03/2018 07:09

I have 3 boys age 9, 4 and 2. Odd bit of bickering but on the whole they get on really well.

RumAppleGinger · 22/03/2018 07:13

The age gap between DS1 and DS2 is just under that at a little over 4 years. They get on amazingly well.

I had two horrendous pregnancies and I don't think I would have coped with the sickness the second time round had DS1 been younger and in need of my constant attention.

LouseHouse · 22/03/2018 07:13

I have just over 4.5 years between dc1 and dc2 and I think it's lovely.
They are 8 and 3 now and are brilliant together. DD had just started school when DS was born so I had plenty of 1 on 1 newborn time and the chance to nap with the baby if we'd had a bad night.
I'd happily have the same gap again. I don't know if I could've handled a newborn and a toddler at the same time.

SangriaInTheSun · 22/03/2018 07:15

I have the same gap with my dds. The oldest is 19 and can honestly say that they adore each other.

I found the gap perfect. It meant I was on mat leave when the oldest started school which worked really well.

They occasionally have their moments as I'm sure most teens do, but they have a really close bond with each other.

PotteringAlong · 22/03/2018 07:15

Slightly different I know, but that’s the age gap beyween my first and my third and they get on just fine!

FallenAngel89 · 22/03/2018 07:18

There will be 5 years between baby and youngest DS when he's here and I'm not worried. There's 8 between my oldest and youngest atm and they've always got along the best so that puts my mind at ease. Just all depends on each of their characters I suppose 😊

Tweennightmare · 22/03/2018 07:30

I have the same gap 4.5 years, a boy then a girl .it has been fine . Now the eldest is at Uni I do fantasise about what it would have been like with a smaller gap and to be looking forward to some child free time instead of another 2 years of parenting and school runs but I guess I will miss them when they are gone (although the gap means eldest will be finished uni by the time youngest goes and will probably bounce back, I might never get rid of them!!!

AbsolutelyCorking · 22/03/2018 07:32

According to research on the best age gap, between 4-5 years is ideal. Congrats.

Onceuponatimethen · 22/03/2018 07:34

I know someone with this gap and her dc get on beautifully!

workshyfop · 22/03/2018 07:41

Yep worked brilliantly for us. DS(9) and DD(4) have a lovely relationship. She adores him and he thinks she’s hilarious. Mat leave when eldest started school was a good thing too.

BertrandRussell · 22/03/2018 07:45

I have a nearly 5 year age gap. Works well. we put a LOT of effort into building their relationship and I think it's paid off-they are good friends.

DragonMummy1418 · 22/03/2018 07:49

I was worried about this, there will be 4 years and 2 months between mine when the baby arrives, I always wanted two close together but I was too unwell for that to be reality when DS was young.

TheMogget · 22/03/2018 08:03

Congratulations! I'll be in the same boat, DD is 4 in April and I'm due early November.

I'm quite pleased, means I'll have 121 time with the baby while DD is at school but also means I'll be able to do the school run for DD for her reception year (I work FT) so hoping it will be just right for us!

Emma145 · 22/03/2018 08:05

I have two older brothers one 4 years older and one 5 and we have always got on really well and are still close now

Buglife · 22/03/2018 08:25

When DS2 comes DS1 will be turning 4 a couple of weeks after. I could not have contemplated having them closer together! As a summer born DS1 is starting Reception in September, which means I’ll have time alone with the baby. DS1 is more independant, he can do his shoes/coat, isn’t in nappies, can be reasoned with (to a certain extent!) and I don’t feel like I’m going to be torn between caring for them both because their needs are so different. DS wasn’t a great sleeper and I wouldn’t have wanted him to want me in the night and not be able to go to him. He seems excited for the baby and can talk about it. I won’t worry about him hitting the baby etc as he’s old enough to know it’s wrong rather than a small toddler who wouldn’t. It remains to be seen but I am happy with the idea of the age gap! Also for future days out etc I think there’s lots that an 8 and 4 year old would both enjoy for example.

MsJuniper · 22/03/2018 09:25

That's the age gap between me and my sister. Apart from a few teenage years we have always been very close, closer than she is to our brother (3 yr gap).

I'm about to have DC2 and DC1 is 5.5 - not how we chose it but I think any gap (or none!) will have advantages and disadvantages.

LadyGray17 · 22/03/2018 10:21

If it helps, I have:
-one full brother 2 years younger
-one half brother (dad) and one half sister (mum) 10 years younger
-two half brothers (one mum, one dad) 12 years younger
-and my youngest half sister (dad) is a whopping 19 years younger than me...

My daughter will be 6 years younger than her auntie

FranticallyPeaceful · 22/03/2018 10:23

I have a 7 year old and an 11 year old. They’re best friends! Always have been

ShowOfHands · 22/03/2018 10:26

It's the best age gap apparently.

My eldest was 4 in the May and her brother arrived in the September. It was great. She started school and it meant she had a very special exciting time all of her own, she was old enough to understand and help out and I had 6 hours a day with just the baby.

They're 10 and 6 now and firm friends.

banannabreadforme · 22/03/2018 10:28

I'm 5 years older than my brother. We never knew any different and are perfectly happy bunnies. Congratulations x

Eminybob · 24/03/2018 07:18

This has been such a good read, I am due to have another in November when ds is 4.5 and was getting quite worried that the age gap is too big. I wanted around 3 years but just couldn’t get pregnant, then we stopped trying in January, age gap being one reason, and low and behold I’m now pregnant.

So glad to hear the positive stories, I feel tons better now.

mummmyj · 24/03/2018 07:29

There is a 12 year age gap between mine 😀😀😀 don't think you need to worry just enjoy and get that little boy involved good luck 😀😀

LML83 · 24/03/2018 07:29

I have a 5.5 year age gap and it's great. I was worried they wouldn't have enough common interests to be close but they do. Youngest now 2.5 and his big sister is 8 and she still enjoys playing with his cars and happy with cbeebies and still likes soft play.

She is a brilliant help and I can leave the room for a shower or to make dinner knowing oldest can shout me if they need me.

They play well together and when youngest goes to bed I get time with older one. Also oldest understood baby needs me for feeding or nappy change and she would get my time when he was settled.

I have tried to highlight perks of being the older one too, she stays up for movie night one night most weekends, stays up til 8pm rather than 7pm, she gets pocket money, better sweets (wee one gets raisens for now!) Wee one loves his big sister and she has loads of fun things for him to do.

I am sure there are times ahead it won't work as well, this isn't what I would have chosen but turns out there are lots of benefits.

MsJuniper · 24/03/2018 08:08

That's really lovely to read @LML83. I hope mine will have a similar relationship.

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