Are pregnancy announcements always twee?

[Didntcomeheretofuckspiders]

I remember a friend posting a photo to announce her pregnancy a while ago and finding it a bit twee and silly. It was their work shoes and badges (they both work in public services) and then some booties and the scan photo. At the time I was very judgemental about it!

Fast forward a bit and I have my 12 week scan next week and all of a sudden I’m considering doing something similar! 😂 We’re having to move our wedding so I want to announce it as soon as possible and to as many of our friends and family as possible (really close people already know) so that we can pre-warn people and get the new date out ASAP so Facebook has become a good option. And I even think a cute picture would be nice! I was thinking of doing something with race numbers or bikes as we’re both very sporty. Have I gone mad?

And given that most of the women saying they really hate announcements here are saying it's partially because of their own history of infertility/loss I don't think it's very 'lol' actually, but glad you've had a good giggle over other people's pain. You sound great.

Find them tacky and impersonal - go through your facebook friends list and count how many people on that list you a) see on a regular basis b) have spoke to within the last year and c) genuinely care about their lives and aren't just mere acquaintances. And don't make the excuse "oh well we used to be really close" because there's a reason you're not anymore and it's called one of you not putting the effort in. Facebook is just boastbook nowadays - keeping old friends from high school you never speak to anymore just so you can be nosy about what's going on in their lives. Unless you are 100% that everybody on your friend list is going to care about you having a baby and visit when the baby arrives, skip it. I'm 31 weeks and haven't put a thing up - have contacted friends and family individually over a few months to make them aware. Also the photos with designer baby shoes (never going to be worn realistically, they just fall off all the time and are a total waste of money) and scans (where 9/10 times the baby is still a blob) are usually horribly done, where the lighting or angle is never right and their phone cameras are on all the wrong settings. The pictures are never cute or stylish and all look identical to each other, and from what I hear most people without kids seem to be of the opinion they are simply attentionizing. Send private messages or just post a simple status.

A friend of mine announced number two last year by posting a photo of DS sitting in his cot bawling and holding a sign saying "In 6 months time I'm being evicted". Just no.

Kayleigh1986

This is amusing me so much 😂

How lovely. I'm glad you're getting such entertainment and a good old laugh out of people talking about the pain of infertility and how reading 'pregnancy announcements' on FB was difficult for them. What kind of person not only finds that amusing, but also feels the need to post about it, complete with lots of laughing emojis and snide comments about the 'bitch brigade'? Are you feeling pleased with yourself having posted all of that?

I had my dog, a notorious sock stealer, holding a baby sock.

Most people asked if we were getting a puppy

Think they are great if they are original. The cliches (shoes etc) are cringe

@BoldKitties no I'm laughing because the majority of you just think it's "twee". If you think I'm laughing at infertility then that's more a reflection of the sort of person you are than me

*@blackberryfairy
*
*You think an 'ironic' announcement with an 80s movie image is 'the least twee thing ever'?

I don't think you know what 'twee' means.

Did you have fish and chips in newspaper at your wedding?*

Lol. Not sure you gleaned the irony in my original post, perhaps you don't know what 'ironic' means?

No fish and chips ta, we had pulled pork brought in by moustached men on Penny farthings, of course, silly!

Oh and btw, Alien was in 1979

Kayleigh1986, er, what? You're the one posting about how this thread is amusing you so much and how you checked in just to have a giggle. How on earth is my commenting on that a 'reflection on the sort of person' I am? It's you that's laughing at this thread.

Facebook is social media, it is meant to be fun. There is no earthly reason to be on it unless it gives you enjoyment. I genuinely don't get why it causes so much angst.

I have people on mine that I love and see/speak to regularly. I also have people I've not seen in years - extended family, old school friends, neighbours who have moved - some I've never met in person but share a hobby with. If any of them irritate me or bore me, they are at the very least unfollowed (if there is some reason to keep them), or they go.

Anyone who is on there, I am happy and interested to see their updates, share in their good news and commiserate with the bad.

If you are at a place in your life for whatever reason where social media of any sort causes you sadness, then perhaps it just is not the place for you at that time.

I am not personally a pregnancy announcer but it doesn't bother me when other people announce on FB - I am more interested in the news itself, offering congratulations etc than on considering whether the announcement is twee (this is not in any way to diminish the posts of those who have suffered losses; I totally understand why they might feel differently).

I have definitely noticed a move away from announcements in recent years - I'd say at least 80% of my friends do not announce pregnancies on Facebook. And whereas I know some people have only a few close friends on Facebook, in my personal experience most use it as a network including acquaintances. I have 500 friends, and most of those friends have several hundred "friends" also. If someone "likes" an update then their entire friends list sees that update, so an update potentially tells literally thousands of people.

For me, pregnancy is an anxious and (insofar as possible when there's a bump!) personal time and I'm deeply uncomfortable with my pregnancy being on Facebook, which is why I was not terribly pleased when one of my DH's friends announced it on his FB page a few days ago .

Each to their own, as an anxious preggo in a way I am jealous of those who are so confident that everything will be okay that they are willing to spread the word to everyone they've ever met and some they haven't...! But FB sharers should be mindful that we don't all feel the same way - so by all means announce your own pregnancy, and I will sincerely share your joy, but don't announce mine!!

I like them. I didn't realise until a previous thread on here on th same subject how harrowing scan photos can be for some people, and now that I do know, I'm glad that wasn't how we did ours.

My favourite one was a friend of mine who posed with her husband, both with their bellies out, her holding a sign with an arrow pointing down saying "baby" and him posing with a sign with an arrow pointing down saying "beer". I thought that was genuinely quite funny and not twee at all.

Ps @Whitney186 - brilliant post btw, sums up exactly how I feel on the subject.

"newsflash, not everyone's lives revolve around you"

This is neither news, nor a reason not to be aware of the likely impact of the way you communicate on your readership.

I am heartened to see how many posters realise just how crappy a scan pic can be , and who would therefore chose a different style of message.

I don’t understand announcing a pregnancy broadly on social media. Surely the people who matter most are the ones you see and communicate with directly and they’ll notice soon enough that there’s a bump or when it comes up in conversation naturally. Very few other people care

We didn't put any announcement on Facebook with our first, just told people as we saw them. Some people didn't even know I had been pregnant until I had my daughter! I'm 10 weeks pregnant now and am we've got my little girl a 'big sister' top and after the 12 week scan going to put a picture on Facebook with her t shirt on. I don't care if people think it's daft, it's my news and I'm excited to share it and involve my daughter.

@BoldKitties I'm amused by the posters who literally feel that everyone is out to piss them off and to boast. I would hate to live life thinking so little of people. I must be lucky to have friends who I don't think this of, and who would be happy to share my news.

I think some people are being deliberately reductive on this thread. It obviously matters who/how many fb friends you have and how close to them you are. It's very different if you only have close friends, but that's not the case for the majority of people in terms of how they use Facebook.

You don't have to feel that everyone is "out to piss you off" for a surprise scan photo to catch you off guard at a low moment and upset you.

For those saying that you should defriend People or not go on social media if you have previously suffered a pregnancy loss, I don't think that's particularly realistic. The point with pregnancy announcements is that they are usually a surprise, and once you've seen it it's too late.

Sure, the risk of possibly upsetting someone you're not close to doesn't have to influence your decision to do it, but you should be aware that you might.

I think, though willing to be corrected, that people make these announcements because it's lovely news and you want everyone who sees it to press like and comment and congratulate you (ie you're doing it for yourself), which is fine and completely understandable.

But you need to admit that and don't pretend you're doing some kind of public service broadcast, as mostly the majority of people who see it don't need to know and won't especially care, and you should also acknowledge that some people might not be as happy to see it as you would hope, whether they'd say that to your face or not.