Are pregnancy announcements always twee?

[Didntcomeheretofuckspiders]

I remember a friend posting a photo to announce her pregnancy a while ago and finding it a bit twee and silly. It was their work shoes and badges (they both work in public services) and then some booties and the scan photo. At the time I was very judgemental about it!

Fast forward a bit and I have my 12 week scan next week and all of a sudden I’m considering doing something similar! 😂 We’re having to move our wedding so I want to announce it as soon as possible and to as many of our friends and family as possible (really close people already know) so that we can pre-warn people and get the new date out ASAP so Facebook has become a good option. And I even think a cute picture would be nice! I was thinking of doing something with race numbers or bikes as we’re both very sporty. Have I gone mad?

If you aren't close enough to have their phone number, why would you want to tell them you're having a baby? because some of us have wider circles of friendship that have grown in an era of fb. So you meet and swap fb details not phone numbers.

Also, if pregnancy announcements are boastful I assume the same for weddings etc. So what about sad news? Hard days? Difficulties? Is that ok or is it just boasting about how hard you have it?

@SleepingStandingUp see my post below - you can argue all you like why people shouldn't feel the way they do, but that won't change what they feel. Unless you have like 30 fb friends who you are close to in real life, there is a high likelihood that lots of those who see your announcement post will think you're a dick. I'm not saying they're right to do so, but I think you should allow for the possibility that they will.

@PigletWasPoohsFriend believe me, I've been through pregnancy losses, that doesn't make me bitter towards anyone who has the wonderful news to share that they are expecting. My Facebook is limited to my close friends, people who are happy to hear my news

harrietm87 I don't dispute that, but then i'm equally entitled to think the same back. Because when I see my friends posting about things I can't do, or about their kids doing things my son can't do, I assume they are sharing their joy not showing off. There are exceptions, bit those people are smug dicks in real life too and as such aren't on my FB.
Someone posting "I'm finally a woman, I'm pregnant and I realise this is all that any woman is meant to do blah blah blah" is entirely different to someone posting four pairs of shoes

Well @SleepingStandingUp that's fine, but I personally wouldn't call someone a smug dick because they have, for example, just suffered a miscarriage and find it upsetting to be surprised by an acquaintance's announcement when they log into Facebook. It's nice if you can manage to put your personal feelings of grief and loss aside and be happy for someone else, but not everyone can and that doesn't make them a bad person.

How did I say it makes them a smug dick??

The point is most of the people judging aren't in that moment of grief, they're just judgemental. So irrespective of their experiences they will assume that anyone who does it different to them is smug, boasting, wrong.

Some people like up thread will think they're such dicks in that moment of pain and will in time realise the other person wasn't doing it to be a dick, they were just sharing happy news that happened to hurt them incidentally not intentionally. I don't judge them or think they are dicks. I realise I might not have wrote that clearly but I havnt at any point called someone who has had difficulties a smug dick.

Oh I reread and see what bit about smug dicks you have chosen to misunderstand.

The kind of person who puts a fb post aboit how they're a real woman now they're pregnant, how its sooo easy, how haha omg I didn't even want this kid but oops etc. , so who are clearly being smug dicks, will also be like that in real life. So even in person they won't consider how telling someone else might feel, or how the news might be a blow to someone else.

Someone making a general announcement or a picture of paperclips etc isn't being a dick.
Someone find i ng that news hard isn't being a dick.

Someone judging everyone who doesn't do things how they would because they're so much better is a dick

Hth

Good summary of dicks @SleepingStandingUp!

Agree @SleepingStandingUp with your summary!

The last one is certainly worth thinking about.

If I hear via a general post I assume Im not a close friend. Close friends message/text/write/phone/tell in person
Nothing wrong with me not being in your inner circle. But I will take it as a cue that Im not going to be very involved and will react/behave accordingly. Its not a problem. I wont be angry/bitter. But it is a social cue and people adjust their reactions according to the social cues you give them.

Ill still be happy for you, but I wont be round with a caserole and offers of washing up once the baby is born if you seem to have other people you prefer to share it with.

I'm the last kind of dick. Have no problem with that.

But if I'm such a dick - why tell me (and people like me)?

And you won't know I'm that kind of dick, because i won't tell you, and you wouldn't know. But I'll definitely be judging.

Why risk it?

PancakeInMaBelly that's fair enough and doubt anyone can argue with that

NimbleKnitter because I assume most off my friends are like me not you

Why do you need to announce it? We didn't either time until our baby had arrived safely and healthy. Not everyone knew I was pregnant

Yeah, but you can't assume that.

The only people you can assume feel the same way as you are the ones also making announcements.

The people not making announcements, or those who choose not to post pictures of their non-consenting children all over the internet, probably think like me. They actually aren't dicks (shock) so wouldn't dream of telling you they don't agree with it. Especially as chances are - you aren't that close and they don't care.

NimbleKnitter well id rather assume my friends are interested than assume my friends think I'm a dick. If they think I'm a dick they aren't my friends so I would expect them to delete themselves. Which is fine, but why stay fb friends woth someone you think so little of? Therefore I assume the people on my fb Re happy to hear my news, as I am happy to hear theres. The woman who just got married, the guy who just become a dad, the friend with the new job or car or puppy or that's just come from a swim across the channel or a month in America. And i'm capable of assuming that they aren't posting jist to annoy people because most people simply don't do that

Which is fine, your baby your choice blah blah blah. When I bumped into tou in town with your several month old baby I'd be happy for you and wouldn't consider why you hadn't posted it. I'm simply entitled to do it differently

And If I i'd held of mentioning him until he was safe and healthy he'd have been 18 months. I think it would be a little odd for someone to randomly announce they had an 18 month old unless they had adopted

The bitch brigade are out in force 😂

Everyone on MN only ever has people they REALLY REALLY CARE ABOUT AND LOVE on their facebook.

I dont buy it. Facebook is IMO most useful for AQUAINTANCES.
Alumni that you can message if you are going for a job where they work, but otherwise would only see at reunions
School mums youre not that close to but your kids are friends so facebook makes it easy to arrange sleepovers as you can add multiple people to messages.
The Brownies parents you lift share with.
Neighbours who you are friendly with but not besties with who will watch your house when youre on holiday and message you with issues.
Your dog walker & babysitter
That plumber who didnt rip you off
The friend of a friend who does cheap reluable removals.
People from your hobbies that share time/room changes

No? Just REALLY GOOD FRIENDS every single last one of them?

"acquaintances"

If Im on your facebook it doesnt mean I love you, sorry. I dont even necessarily like everyone on my facebook, I mean theres nobody I DISLIKE strongly on there, but I cant say that I have particularly strong personal feelings either way for DDs tutor or DD2s best friends dad who I only know to make small talk and arrangements with. Or DHs best friends wife. Shes fine. We sometimes arrange accomodation together if going to a wedding of our DHs friends. Dont Luf her.

According to MN I should delete myself from them all cause Im not utterly enthralled and delighted by them?

The bitch brigade are out in force

And this comment is obviously sweetness and light

Hideously twee - sorry!

There’s an awful lot of self deluded people on here who truly believe that their Facebook ‘friends’ (who they would never converse face to face or on the telephone with) would give two shiny shits if they are pregnant.