Are pregnancy announcements always twee?

[Didntcomeheretofuckspiders]

I remember a friend posting a photo to announce her pregnancy a while ago and finding it a bit twee and silly. It was their work shoes and badges (they both work in public services) and then some booties and the scan photo. At the time I was very judgemental about it!

Fast forward a bit and I have my 12 week scan next week and all of a sudden I’m considering doing something similar! 😂 We’re having to move our wedding so I want to announce it as soon as possible and to as many of our friends and family as possible (really close people already know) so that we can pre-warn people and get the new date out ASAP so Facebook has become a good option. And I even think a cute picture would be nice! I was thinking of doing something with race numbers or bikes as we’re both very sporty. Have I gone mad?

I know right TeeTotal?

Everyone on my facebook LOVES me more than breath, and if I post anything that they dont think of as pure distilled perfection, well then theyre not worthy of me and should delete me, block me, and move to a frozen tundra!

I haven’t chosen to do pregnancy announcements but I do love seeing them. They haven’t always been easy to see but I like seeing friends share happy news. Also, in the past when it hasn’t been easy to read about others’ pregnancies, I’m glad I’ve first learned about it via Facebook than irl as I could deal with my own emotions about it privately.

This is interesting as I'm someone who posts very, very little on Facebook and finds it all either a bit tedious or a bit "oh, look at x showing off again". But being pregnant was one of the few things that I did think that everyone who knows me might be interested to know! I did it very neutrally, though - just said "Exciting news for us - we are expecting a baby in January". No photos etc.

I deactivated my Facebook account because of pregnancy announcements. As someone going through infertility, they were just too much of a painful reminder.

Maybe it's a generational thing- I have all the people I know on facebook but not many numbers. We chat on messenger if we want to talk 1-1. Facebook was useful for telling everyone on a status without expecting a reply directly.

I considered doing a jokey pregnancy announcement - then got to my 12 week scan and found out it was twins, and humour was replaced with terror and panic

This is amusing me so much 😂

Our pregnancy announcement was a fake scan of the Xenomorph from Alien. Least twee thing ever

I actually hated the jokey ones most of all when I was going through recurrent miscarriage. A scan pic was better than a glaring reminder that for most women pregnancy is joyful and taken for granted, while for me its anxious and fear-ridden.

And they are definitely the most smug category, too. At least the 'we're so happy that...' announcements have a certain sweet sincerity about them.

Sorry, buttmuncher - that looks like a direct attack on you, it wasn't supposed it - it was prompted by the person two above who said she thought about (but didn't) do a jokey one.

Lisasimpsonsbff - don't worry, I didn't take it as a direct hit I'd suffered loss and huge anxiety too both before and during, weirdly being a bit less twee about it made feel a bit less anxious about the whole thing. I'm sorry you've experienced loss too

Just call your Mum tell her the news and the world will know within the hour.

@PancakeInMaBelly i agree re fb being for acquaintances. I was going to post something along the lines you did earlier - I have c800 fb friends as I started uni just when it was kicking off. I don't want to delete anyone as they are useful to have for possible professional contacts/school and uni reunions/ wider circle of friends of friends etc. Fb is brilliant for contacting those who you aren't regularly in touch with.

I also didn't delete people who did an upsetting (for me) scan announcement while I was suffering recurrent miscarriages, because what's the point, it's too late by then. But seeing them out of the blue did upset me.

As I've said before, I totally get why people want to do it as it is such lovely news for them, but I think if you plan to do it you should accept that some people will (a) judge you and (b) find it heartbreaking. If your attitude is "well screw them" that's totally ok but don't pretend it isn't happening.

We use Facebook very differently. I have c100 friends who are people I actually know and care about.

Work/Uni acquaintances are for LinkedIn.

I wouldn't post anything fun or silly on Facebook if I was using it for networking and I'd probably just not use it at all as that's the point of it for me.

Clare have you never used facebook to organise a hen do or baby shower or big birthday for a friend?

I have co-bridesmaids on there who I am not FRIEND friends with, but have organised stuff for our mutual friend with via facebook.

And my bridesaids are all connected on facebook although theyre not friends apart from through me. They used it to pull together when I went through a rough time, but theyre not each others besties.

Have you no connections like that on facebook? People whose weddings you go to because theyre your DHs friends spouces rather than your own friends, but you share pics from events you both attend?

Not really. I tend to "edit" every year or so and weed out the hens I've not seen since the mutual friends wedding, the colleague I'm not close to anymore (and I don't add colleagues anymore).

I'm also quite ruthless about not accepting friend requests from odd people like DH's ex colleague I've never met.

The way we organise hens etc is the person concerned sets up a WhatsApp group and then leaves it with someone else as admin.

@ClareB83 so did you delete all your uni acquaintances from fb and then re-add them on LinkedIn? (Genuinely interested)

I don't cull people from my fb in case I need to contact them in future, for a reason I may not be able to predict now - eg I have pretty much my entire 6th form on there from when we all added each other first year of uni. Glad I did as though I didn't speak to most of them for like 10 years I was able to make a group and organise a collection when our old head of year died suddenly.

If you have only got 100 friends on fb though, why not message them directly and personally? I had more than that at my wedding and wouldn't have dreamed of doing the invites via fb.

When I got pregnant after recurrent losses I really enjoyed sending personal messages to the people I cared about and seeing their individual responses. I could also tailor how I shared the news depending on people's individual circumstances.

But the co bridesmaids become the co baby shower organiser, then the big birthday organisers, then the pulling together organisers if theres a bereavement or serious illness.

You find yourselves at the same housewarming party and christenings etc and share your pics.

Theyre not friends but theyre important acquaintances.

I believe that most people DO have these sorts of facebook "friends" (if you do facebook). And then theres all your friends partners too.

I just dont buy the MN land line that you should remove yourself from anyones list if you dont love them deeply enough to take a bullet for them!!

@harrietm87 it happened pretty organically. Facebook wasn't available until my postgrad year so had very few undergrad friends anyway. A few years in I would have deleted those I didn't still talk to or see. Then a few years after that LinkedIn became more of a thing and my degree leads to a profession so it was easy enough for people to reconnect.

I can see how a massive contact list would be useful for organising a reunion etc but I'm not interested in doing that. Instead I prefer a smaller group where I feel I can post and be myself. Eg do I need old college classmates to know I've been particularly cat lady crazy that day? Nope. Will it make all my aunties giggle? Yup.

We did tell close friends, family, those struggling ttc, those we saw in person individually. But at 20 weeks there were still some Facebook friends we hadn't told eg friends living abroad. Who we could have text separately but we considered a post just as good. And we knew grandparents wanted to post about it and DH wanted to be first.

Our wedding had less than a hundred guests. Everyone there got told individually.

I don't think I've ever come across a thread that's so judgemental 😂

What the hell is wrong with fish and chips in newspaper at your wedding 😂

This is so ridiculous that I now check this thread just to have a giggle. Thanks the lord I have a brighter outlook on life than 99% if you, can you imagine judging everyone and thinking that everyone posting on fb was doing it to piss you off 😂 newsflash, not everyone's lives revolve around you 😂😂😂😂

Fish and chips at a wedding would be fabulous!

newsflash, not everyone's lives revolve around you

Yes, exactly - which is why imagining that all your Facebook friends will be just delighted to see your pregnancy announcement is pretty deluded.