Early Gender Scan Wrong?

[Lauraelisabeth9]

Hi all,
No judging please I already feel bad enough myself.
I had an early gender scan today, we were so desperate for a girl, mainly me and after a bit of trouble we were told it was a boy. This pregnancy has been so so different to my boy though. I was wondering what are the chances of it being wrong. Obviously I’ll wait until my 20 week to confirm better but just wanting some advice. The pictures weren’t overly clear either. Thanks.

I had an incorrect scan. I was told at 20 weeks it's a girl but i assure you he most definitely is not!
We had scans at 28 and 36 weeks too which showed his todger in all its glory and it made me feel a bit odd for a few days. I suppose I had by then got used to the idea I was having a girl.
But having said that I already had one of each by that point so I really wasn't bothered either way.

Everything I have heard has said it’s easier to mistake girl for boy. Whether it’s true or not I do not know.

This is the third baby and still every time I have a scan (and have had a lot this time) I worry that they may tell me it’s the opposite sex to what I am expecting!!

But now I've had time to adjust, I couldn't be happier I'm having a boy, all the stories I've heard lately from my friends about their girls, plus having a 8 year old step daughter. I'm bloody glad I'm not having a girl, they're so bitchy!!

This is a totally ridiculous comment, @LemonMuffin837

I totally understand your disappointment. I’m currently expecting my first and I honestly didn’t care if it was a boy or girl- really. But the idea of never having a daughter is a really upsetting one to me, as I know how close my Mum and I are. So if I knew it was my last baby and it was a boy, I’d be equally gutted.
Having said that, I don’t think continuing to hold out hope is going to help you, and they are unlikely to be wrong if they’ve seen a penis. Enjoy your lovely little boy and the fantastic bond he will have with his brother. If conceiving again isn’t an option for you, you could always consider adoption in the future if you really feel the need for a daughter x

I asked "Are you sure?" The sonographer answered "There's a definite scrotum!" 😆 Pity you didn't ask at the time.

Wow!!! People on this site are just a breath of fresh air aren’t they?
PinkAvocado - I love the way how people on the internet have the courage to say f* off to someone they no nothing about.
Opinions are that. Opinions. Everyone has they’re own right to one. And neither is right or wrong. It’s based on experiences in our personal lives and how we are raised.
Sorry for my politically incorrect choice of words saying ‘everyone’. I should have explained myself clearer (naughty me)
Everyone I have spoken to in my life personally has expressed their preference of ‘1 of each’. Some even using the term ‘Were not having anymore children, we have our 1 of each’. And even specifically ‘I want one of each’.
Also, 98% of the men in my life have expressed the hope for a son. Does this give reason for people to insult me. Just because I’ve mentioned things that I have experienced or come across. No, because that’s my life and it’s been tweaked a certain way by the people around me. The same as others have been around more people who have said differently. And I respect that.
The point I was trying to make, and I apologise OP if it wasn’t explained clear enough, was that I know how you feel in wanting a girl and DO NOT feel ashamed of that. I have a wonderful relationship with my mother and always hoped one day I would have that same connection with a daughter of my own.
But due to me having a miscarriage I also now understand how other women have an issue and feel anger towards gender disappointment and only want healthy children. Like I said before, I just want healthy children but who’s to say I won’t long for a daughter If I don’t get one. We are only human.
Just don’t take any comments to heart. They are just opinions.
We have all experienced things in life that make us and the things we want a certain way.
It’s just a horrible world we live in where people believe they can say what they want to people they know nothing about.
We all have expectations, wants and needs in our lives. And we totally have that right as it is OUR life.

Well a midwife told me they do get it wrong on scans more often than people think and she’s attended a fair few births where it’s popped out the different sex. I’ve never met anyone who had a wrong scan but I do know someone who went for one of those stupid early gender blood tests that was completely wrong. I would get set up for a disappointment but not be sure until 20 wk scan. Good luck.

How was what I said being out of order. I was trying to open peoples eyes to all the different options, feelings and opinions that people have and are allowed to have. I’m sure a lot of people agreed (and some did) that they wanted one of each or infact we’re not being honest about it due to feeling ashamed.
The same as others will agree that they don’t care and just want healthy children.
I also said that’s what I always thought until I had a miscarriage and that now (especially after reading posts) I don’t feel like that at all.
But like I said. I have been surrounded by people in my life who have made me believe that. Again, opinions. Drummed in to us through life experiences.
Your the negative one my dear. And clearly so full of rage. Im a mediator and see and respect everyone’s points of view. I just believe we’re all entitled to them as no ones life is the same and we’ve all been through different things to get where we are and want what we think we deserve

Nikki - it's interesting you make a point about men and sons. Research would agree, it has been found numerous times that men are far more likely to leave the family unit if his offspring are solely female.
FWIW I wanted 'one of each' and had two DS (now teens). In the long run this has proved to have been far and away the best thing for them to have a sibling of the same gender.

I had a early scan at 16 weeks and I got told girl and by my 20 week scan it was 100% boy. I now have a 7 week baby boy I don't trust the early scans anymore.

I don't understand 'disappointment' about gender at all. I've had three miscarriages and am now 24 weeks pregnant with my second daughter. I'm over the moon. I'd be over the moon if I was having a boy. I'd be over the moon if I was having a rabbit.

I suggest everyone pops over to the 'pregnant after recurrent loss/miscarriage' thread and see how many women on there are upset at the sex of the much longed-for babies they are having. None. Gender disappointment seems to be the domain of perfectly fertile women with no idea of the pain of infertility, stillbirth, miscarriage or loss. There is another thread on here from a woman having to abort her child due to foetal abnormalities. Do you think she cares one bit about their sex?

Please take a minute to have a word with yourself and thank your lucky stars that you are growing a perfectly healthy baby, regardless of their sex.

StepAwayFromGoogle

Please take a minute to have a word with yourself and thank your lucky stars that you are growing a perfectly healthy baby, regardless of their sex

I CBA to read the whole thread again but do you honestly believe people are going to be disappointed in a healthy baby even if it's the not the sex they would have preferred because that's not the impression I've got from the thread at all. I've read that some people would love either a 'boy' or a 'girl' but will be delighted with either. I don't think bringing up the fact some people have worse problems is relevant.

It would be different if anyone actually said they were disappointed with their actual child.

I don't think bringing up the fact some people have worse problems is relevant.

Stepaway wasn't saying some people have 'worse problems'. She was pointing out that some people have actual problems. Because getting a baby of the 'wrong' sex isn't a problem at all.

And I've tried to be kind to OP - and I think encouraging her to think the scan might be wrong is anything but kind - but as a recurrent miscarrier this thread is pretty galling. It's just hard to consider this a real issue when you can't imagine going into a scan with any thought in your head but 'please let the baby still be alive'. Suggesting taking a bit of time to count your blessings to women worrying over gender isn't nasty, it might actually be quite helpful.

But no-one saying that it is a big problem, the people commenting on this thread are literally just talkimg about how they feel. That's the whole point of MN surely, to discuss things with people who feel the same and ask for advice. Just because people are in different situations it doesn't mean their issues are less important to them. My heart genuinely goes out to anyone with fertility issues, and anyone who has lost their baby for whatever reason. But that is juat not relevent here. It's the same as the threads where people discuss how hard it is being overdue: that could upset people. But it doesn't mean no-one should discuss it. I'm sorry but I don't understand why anyone would deliberately click on a thread that they knew would upset them. No-one here is disappointed in their children and I'm pretty sure we all know how lucky we are. But we should be able to discuss things like this aswell and the bigger, more serious things

*as well as. Sorry, so many typos

@maybebaby88 - are you suggesting that finding out your baby is not the sex you wanted is no less important than a woman having a miscarriage or a stillbirth?

I didn't know this thread was going to upset me until I clicked on it. I'm expressing my views as much as anyone else is. You can't post on MN with the caveat 'only tell me what I want to hear'. That's not how it works.

All I was trying to point out is that the OP is focussing on the wrong thing. Focus on the blessing and joy of having a healthy child given there are so many women who will never know that. Give yourself a shake, be happy, celebrate your gorgeous baby.

There's a big difference between someone having a scan where the tech is '80% sure'
To paying for a private sexing scan where the whole focus is to determine the sex and the tech has to be 100% certain!

Often when it's wrong it's because the baby was in an awkward position, the tech is inexperienced or not trained properly, no clear pictures printed or anterior placenta
Some techs also think that lack of anything between the legs means Girl but they need to actually identify the 3 lines!

At 16/17 weeks, if the scanning equipment and tech are half decent then you can either see a penis or a Vulva
They should show you exactly what they are looking at during the scan and also print off the pictures

Where I went for my scan there were two people who do the scan and they both have to agree on the sex and be 100% certain otherwise they book a re scan!
And the pictures I got were very obvious!

Congrats on your pregnancy OP and two boys will be amazing x

stepaway no I really wasn't, sorry it did come across a bit that way. Of course it doesn't compare at all in terms of problems to have. The point I was very inarticulately trying to make was that there is always someone with a problem which is worse, and yet that doesn't mean that people shouldnt be able to discuss the little things that bother them. I just think it's really bad to say "well my problem was worse so you're awful for discussing your more minor problem." Some parents have experienced stillbirths, or death of a child, and they may feel upset when they see posts about early miscarriages for example. As I stated above, I am beyond happy that my baby boy is healthy, and I love him with all my heart even though I haven't met him yet. But a totally seperate part of me feels sad that I may never have a daughter. Its not about disappointment. It's just natural feelings which are perfectly valid to me.
I'm really not trying to offend anyone. I just don't understand all this arguing about it tbh

stepawayfromgoogle

Please don’t comment on my post with your judgemental comments. As I have previously stated none of you know my business. Would it make you happy if I told you this is my 6th pregnancy and I have only one living baby.

That does not make my feelings any less relevant.

I wasn’t going to comment my history but you have really wound me up with your post.

No judgment here!
I had an early gender scan be wrong I was told girl at 13 weeks but boy at 16. It was a boy.(2nd boy for us). To be honest it’s most likely to be a boy if they said boy it’s usually the girl resault that is wrong as much more difficult to identify.
Was a very difficult time as I went on to develop something called gender disappointment like depression but very very secretive as I was so very ashamed of my feelings so couldn’t talk about it and get help. ( extra bad considering we had had fertility issues etc) never ever judge anyone!!!!
Anyway boy was lovely and 2 boys are amazing together.
Congratulations on your baby he will be lovely x

*I always said that anyone who says they don’t care what gender their baby is (especially if they already have 1 or more of the same sex) is a liar!
Everyone wants the perfect 1 of each. They’re just too ashamed to admit it. *

Bullshit

I’d try and get your head round it being a boy rather than clinging to the chance it may be a girl. Of course they never give any guarantees as these scans do they but as others have said I think it’s more common to make a mistake the other way round.

Congratulations on your baby when you have them in your arms you won’t care what the sex is xxx

@LBethh - are you the OP? Have you name changed?

Of course it doesn't make me happy that this is your 6th pregnancy. It does make me even more surprised that you are so disappointed in the sex of your child. I genuinely don't understand given all you have been through why you aren't over the moon.

I reiterate that you can't post on MN and request that you only hear what you want to. You are going to come across people that don't share your POV.

Clearly there are a lot of people who sympathise with you and, again, I'm surprised there are so many. But I will bow out and let them carry on offering their sympathy.

All I was trying to say was try to see the joy, not the disappointment, given how many babies don't make it at all. Clearly that's made you very angry, and I'm sorry for that.

We were told boy at 16 weeks , this was confirmed at 20 weeks.

And I will agree with what pps have said - your symptoms make no difference when deciphering a baby's sex. All pregnancies are different.