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Pregnancy

Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

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Original poster

Early Gender Scan Wrong?

115 replies

Lauraelisabeth9 · 14/01/2018 00:13

Hi all,
No judging please I already feel bad enough myself.
I had an early gender scan today, we were so desperate for a girl, mainly me and after a bit of trouble we were told it was a boy. This pregnancy has been so so different to my boy though. I was wondering what are the chances of it being wrong. Obviously I’ll wait until my 20 week to confirm better but just wanting some advice. The pictures weren’t overly clear either. Thanks.

OP posts:

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Original poster

Lauraelisabeth9 · 14/01/2018 09:48

@FrostyThirties0 can you please confirm when in my post I have said I am dissapointed in having a boy?
Behave yourself and find another post to jump on.

OP posts:

SandysMam · 14/01/2018 09:49

Frosty...I think it’s because we hear so much in MN about DIL hating the MIL!! Women are scared not to have a daughter as they fear they will be kept out of their adult sons lives and not get to see grandchildren etc.

SandysMam · 14/01/2018 09:51

Not suggesting this is your reason OP. Gender/sex disappointed is a real thing, I know a few people who have had counselling for it. Congratulations on your pregnancy

thepatchworkcat · 14/01/2018 09:55

Pregnancy symptoms really don’t have anything to do with the sex of the baby so I don’t think that means anything. I think if they’ve said boy then it’s a boy. I know it can be wrong but I think it tends to happen more the other way ie they say girl and it’s a boy because the relevant body part was obscured or something.

FrostyThirties0 · 14/01/2018 10:05

Thanks sandy that sounds very plausible. I am sensitive about this. I have two incredible sons and they bring me joy every day. They are teenagers now so they aren’t tiny cute toddlers. They are also best friends and I always say the best thing I ever did for them was give them a brother.

DaisyLand · 14/01/2018 10:12

In the pics of the scan can you see baby’s bits ? We had a private scan when I was 16+3 and you can clearly see it’s a boy. I was showing the pics to a friend without mentioning the sex and my friend stopped me and said “you’re having a boy aren’t you?” Look closely and you could clearly see he’s a boy. Are your pics any clear ?

Dh wanted a girl as well and all my symptoms were “you’re having a girl” symptoms according to internet. Have known it’d a boy for nearly 12 weeks and couldn’t be happier , not sure I’ll jave any more children so this might be our only one however, can’t wsit to have a “mummy’s boy” and forbid him seeing any girls , he’s mine and only mine

I’m sure once you hear it’s a boy for the second time in a couple of weeks you’ll be over the moon and forget having a girl Desire

Nikki2ol6 · 14/01/2018 10:34

If they said boy you will be most certainly expecting a boy. I had private scans at 15 weeks (I lied about my dates because I can’t be patient at all) and mine were all correct at 15 weeks. If you truly are disappointed that it’s a boy, there is another forum site called ingender and it’s for people who are trying for one gender and don’t get that gender.

BigBaboonBum · 14/01/2018 11:22

If they said boy then it’s very very likely it’s a boy, don’t try convince yourself it’s a girl because that’s so weird and random but you’re setting yourself up so that the first thing you feel when your baby arrives is disappointment - unfair on both you and your new baby, who can’t help what sex they are.
You will love your little boy with all your heart. And having two boys will be so much fun!
My brother has two girls and honestly the novelty of having a girl wears off quickly and then you’re left with a person, a person is a person whether male or female. It’s the novelty of a girl you must want and the world is changing and hopefully becoming more same/same for both sexes anyway. As I’ve said before, gender disappointment is real but it’s short lived unless you have some kind of mental illness (in which case please see a doctor)

Shutupanddance1 · 14/01/2018 11:30

I don’t know much but I went for a 16 week scan and was told by my OBGYN that I am maybe having a girl. It’s not 100% as he said he’d prefer to do another later one to be sure. In his words he hates being asked about gender as it’s very easy to get it wrong.
Only concrete proof if you want would be something like harmony test that can tell you based on blood result

LisaSimpsonsbff · 14/01/2018 12:33

I agree with other people that you should act as if this information is 100% accurate, even though it isn't, and come to terms with the fact it's not a girl accordingly. Don't let yourself get your hopes up with another four weeks of 'well, they were probably wrong'. You've clearly already done that with your symptoms, and that obviously hasn't helped you. The more you cling onto hope that it's a girl, the longer you're delaying getting over it and getting excited about your healthy little boy.

SandyBabyToes · 14/01/2018 12:43

Very unlikely to be a Girl now OP, because you can't mistake a willy if they've seen one

Frosty Because they can't do the whole OTT pink and sparkly with boys.

Fia256 · 14/01/2018 15:08

As everyone else has said, while they can get it wrong, the chances are they haven't, and it's another little boy.

How your feeling is only natural, a lot of people just don't admit to it. I have numerous, absolutely lovely friends who said after finding out they were having another boy cried when they got home or at least felt disappointment after hoping for a girl. But the key is to just accept it, and they all found the disappointment was very short lived and soon were over the moon which I'm sure you will be too soon.

I just really don't think it's good for you to hope they might be wrong, or convince yourself because of your symptoms that you'll be told what you want to hear both on here or at your next scan. Plus what if they did say girl at the next scan? You'll then have been told both genders but there would be nothing to say the 20w would be the correct guess out of the two anyway as they aren't looking for gender, they are looking to check everything is looking ok and it's just an added bonus if they get the right shot.

Sorry if it's not what you want to hear OP. As I say I do understand your going to feel disappointment when you'd got your hopes up, but it really isn't doing anyone any good by not wanting to accept it

MarshaBradyo · 14/01/2018 15:17

It’s very unlikely to be wrong, usually they say if they’re not sure

Bluebirdsky · 14/01/2018 15:19

I think it's very unlikely to be wrong, usually if they aren't sure the book you for a repeat scan.

cheeseandpineapple · 14/01/2018 15:35

I was told a boy for first couple of scans and then had more detailed one at 22 weeks and was told girl. Was a huge surprise as we were preparing for a boy. I didn’t really believe I was having a girl until she arrived. This was some time back overseas and the quality of the scanning wasn’t great. I don’t think it’s that common to get it wrong, I haven’t met anyone else who had the same experience. My symptoms were completely different second time too. But that in itself doesn’t mean anything. I think that can happen to people who have same gender children too.

NikkiM87 · 14/01/2018 16:08

I always said that anyone who says they don’t care what gender their baby is (especially if they already have 1 or more of the same sex) is a liar!

Everyone wants the perfect 1 of each. They’re just too ashamed to admit it.
I was exactly the same. I alsways said I wouldn’t care if I had all girls but I would care if I had all boys. It’s a woman thing. Knowing full well that girls grow up to become a mother’s best friend. Plus all the lovely little dresses and ballet classes.
The same as I believe all men wish for a son.
But I’ve just had a miscarriage with my first. I’m devastated. And now I really don’t care.
I just want a healthy baby. Be it 2 or 3 or 4 boys, to have healthy children is a gift. But then who’s to say, if I do have 2 healthy boys eventually, that I will long for a girl. We’re only human after all.
But I’ve read about a lot of women who had gender disappointment when they first found out, then learnt to accept it and now wouldn’t wish their children as anything else. After all, he/she wouldn’t be your child if it was a different sex in the first place x

coffeeX10 · 14/01/2018 18:35

Apparently they can tell before 16w but the reason they wait til 16 is because it’s advertised as 99.9% accurate by then (well the 2 local places we have advertise this as their rate of accuracy)

I have 2 friends who both have same gender DC (one has 2 boys and the other has 2 girls) they both had completely polar opposite pregnancies with their first and second so were both shocked that they got the same gender again. So I do think every pregnancy is different x

coffeeX10 · 14/01/2018 18:36

Ps one of the friends mentioned in my last post found that her DS1 was a boy at her 12w scan.

maybebaby88 · 15/01/2018 07:40

*frosty and sandy what a load of rubbish. I cant imagine anyone wanting a girl because they may not get on with their future daughter in law! Wth?! And as for the "over the top pink thing" people are not so shallow as you make out. I wanted a girl as my partner already has a boy and I wanted him to have one of each. Also fof personal reasons this will probably be my only child, and I just couldn't imagine myself without a daughter. But I am having a healthy boy and I am overjoyed. So is my partner and his son. And when I found out I didnt cry because I wanted to buy pink and glitter. But a part of me felt like I was grieving the loss of having a daughter. Please stop judging people based on their complex feelings, and belittling it as just someone wanting to buy pink is a pathetic argument. I am so happy to be having my boy, and sad that I may never have a girl, and those are two seperate things that dont negate any of my love of my unborn son

Original poster

Lauraelisabeth9 · 15/01/2018 08:22

@maybebaby88 I love you!! Finally someone who gets it! Congratulations on your bubs! Xxx

OP posts:

maybebaby88 · 15/01/2018 08:35

laura thankyou! And congratulations to you too! Best of luck with everything xx

Intelinside · 15/01/2018 09:04

What the he'll is this 'one of each' crap??

Heregoeseverything · 15/01/2018 09:08

@Lauraelisabeth9 To be completely honest, and for reasons I struggle to articulate but which I think are grounded in childhood experience (certainly nothing to do with ballet classes or pretty dresses!), I've always wanted one of my children to be a girl also and would be disappointed if I only had boys.

I did have a sonographer tell me that the baby I'm carrying was "75% likely to be a boy" and later that day got my Harmony blood test results which said it was 99%+ a girl. However I don't think this is necessarily a good example of a "gender scan" error because I was only 11+5 at the date of the scan, and could see nothing that would have justified the sonographer's view, I think she just went off on her own really (I didn't ask about gender as I didn't want a totally unreliable guess!).

@NikkiM87 I'm sorry to hear about your recent miscarriage.

I think you do make a lot of generalisations that aren't warranted in your post. I agree that it's very likely that more people have gender preferences than admit to them in real life - I have never admitted mine because I'm vaguely ashamed of it and would hate anyone to think I was disappointed with healthy children, least of all the children themselves if they ever got wind of it.

However I don't think it's right to say that "everyone" wants one of each - there are many who prefer same sex siblings as they think they are more likely to be close (my DH included). Personally my only preference is to have "a girl" - I don't mind whether it's two girls or one of each.

I also don't think it's right to say that "all men" would prefer a boy. In my experience the opposite is often the case. Of the men I know who have expressed a preference, one (a maladjusted alpha male, FWIW) said he wanted a boy but all of the others wanted a girl (my DH had a very slight preference for a girl).

tiptopteepe · 15/01/2018 09:09

If it really matters to you because you dont want to show dissapointment at the birth, get the blood test thing done. Then you will know for certain and can have time to get used to the idea. xx

mustbemad17 · 15/01/2018 09:18

No experience of incorrect scans but I kind of get where you're coming from. I have a daughter, & this pregnancy has been soooo different I have sort of settled myself to the idea that it might be a boy. I have a scan on Thursday to find out, & myself & a lot of my mates will be really shocked if it's a girl.
I'd love a boy, it's nothing to do with 'one of each' more because my DD is a little fire cracker - one i can handle. I watch my friends with their boys & think it would be a breath of fresh air to have a boy.
Plus my DD has told me if it's a girl I have to send it back because no way is she sharing her dolls 😂

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