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Talk about every stage of pregnancy, from early symptoms to preparing for birth.

Original poster

Partner has left me at 33 weeks pregnant

112 replies

Nayynayy · 31/12/2017 20:10

So yesterday I had an argument with my boyfriend, which stemmed from me saying he hadn't asked all day if I was okay and I really needed a hug... in which he said 'I should of got out whilst I could!" I left to go to my mums returning home this morning expecting him to be there but all his stuff has gone and I've not heard a thing from him. I'm 33 weeks pregnant with our first baby and I'm absolutely terrified. Also been told this week my grandad has terminal cancer and may only have weeks left to live and I'm now sat here alone in tears on new years eve!. I don't know what to do, feel like I'm going out of my mind. Has anybody else had their partner leave whilst pregnant?

OP posts:
Original poster
Nayynayy · 01/01/2018 09:38

The realisation that I am single and this is not just an argument is sinking in now. You're right @Peachyking000 I need to remember this feeling and how lost he's made me feel if he decides to come back. Just keep going over all the conversations we had and how excited he was saying he was and I'm like wtf was all that a lie! I can't believe his family haven't even checked in to see I'm okay either!

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mustbemad17 · 01/01/2018 10:15

Happy New Year Nay ☺️

Your ex sounds like mine, everything he told me during the relationship he has gone back on. Even his family haven't bothered. Try not to dwell on it, focus on the excitement of bump

GottaBeStrong · 01/01/2018 10:33

That's bad about his family. I wonder what line he's spun them!?

Anyway, I think in life there are deal breakers for how you are treated with regards to then trying to wheedle their way back. That sort of helps draw the line. It's unforgivable.

What are you up to today?

Original poster
Nayynayy · 01/01/2018 10:45

Happy new year @mustbemad17 xx

His family haven't bothered with you still?!

Men make me sick the way they can just get up and leave!

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Original poster
Nayynayy · 01/01/2018 10:55

I know this is a deal breaker. But then the stupid part of me keeps wanting a happy ever after and want to be with the father of my child, but I know anybody who can just up and leave like this is not worth my time.

I'm just going to visit my grandad today and maybe buy a few baby bits, try keep busy.
So glad I joined this last night, made nye a little less lonely

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mustbemad17 · 01/01/2018 11:07

Except for his daughter & ex wife coming by to collect his stuff about two weeks ago, I haven't seen any of them - him included.

That's the spirit! They aren't worth the energy it takes to be angry/upset. I've bought some gorgeous baby bits in the sales, it's very easy to get carried away haha

BigBaboonBum · 01/01/2018 11:17

It will feel more secure right now if he’s there as it will feel more familiar, but honestly it’s not for the best! You will do wonderfully on your own, and I was alone previously with a child and a newborn as my ex left me and now I have a wonderful partner who bends over backwards for us and who’s mission just seems to be for us to have a good life... and I wasn’t looking for anybody! I was very happy in my bubble with my babies. But life happens... just don’t let him inch his way back to your home Flowers I know lots of still single mothers as I said and they have fantastic lives and children

Appleandcinnamon · 01/01/2018 11:19

@mustbemad17

Ffs his daughter and his ex! What did they have to say? I’d have told him to get his own bloody things.

mustbemad17 · 01/01/2018 11:32

Absolutely nothing Apple! First time i'd met his ex wife so that was great - she hates me anyway cos they agreed no more kids when they were together, so i'm evil incarnate!!
The daughter was friendly enough, but she didn't say a word about what had happened or about the baby.

I was tempted to tell them to stop enabling him, but tbh i just wanted the stuff gone. And I needed my door key back!!

juneisthemonth · 01/01/2018 12:56

@Nayynayy you are going to have a beautiful baby very soon, and a bond which will be like something you have never had before. If he wants to jump ship let him, he's not worth it, nothing but a little rat who acts like a little boy when times get tough. And let's face it you don't need another baby to look after. Sometimes children and you will be better of alone, it may not seem like it now but being with someone who your worried will leave at any moment for any reason isn't a way to live. You sound absolutely lovely and as long as you have a great family around you then let him miss out, it's his loss and at some point he will regret his actions. Thinking of you xxxxx

Original poster
Nayynayy · 01/01/2018 13:58

Thankyou xxx @juneisthemonth

Think I'm just going thru the motions right now, I'm fine and focused one minute and crying like a baby the next. Think the family side is what scares me too as mine isn't great, my mum spends 99% of her time with her partner out of town and doesn't really bother with me, I go to her house to get away but she is never there. She has rang me today to see if I'm okay which I say yes thru tears but surely it's obvious I'm not going to be okay, not just yet anyway.
Trying to be strong but feel so heartbroken 💔

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GottaBeStrong · 01/01/2018 14:07

I don't think it's stupid to want a happy ever after and to have the completeness of the father there. I think that's normal as I'd be like that too. You surely will grieve for what you have lost and feel lots of different emotions during that process.

Buying baby bits sounds fun.

Jen41 · 01/01/2018 14:38

Hi hope you are feeling a bit better today. Whatever happens you will be ok. Take care and prioritise yourself x

billybagpuss · 01/01/2018 15:58

How was your grandad? hope the visit went well.

As for the twat, spend a couple more days grieving (you need that) then start being practical, what do you need for baby, how do you get him to pay his dues, what extra benefits will you be entitled to as a single mum etc. etc.

and actually sorting out the practicalities will make you feel stronger, hopefully.

Good luck,

Mammatron · 01/01/2018 16:01

What an arse! My ex left when my dc was one, i was heartbroken at the time but now wish he'd left sooner. If he's going to leave eventually then I think it's best for baby if they're absent from the start and don't break their child's trust (although my dc was only 1, he really missed his dad when he left and has had massive separation anxiety since- he won't let me out of his sight!). Plus I hate that my ex is in some of my favourite baby photos, they and the memories I have of that time feel tainted. You can do this! It sounds like your ex wasn't going to be much use as a parent anyway so you're better off without him! Thanks

Original poster
Nayynayy · 01/01/2018 19:25

It was a good visit to my grandad he was up and talking about other patients 😁 thanks @billybagpuss cheered me up seeing him.

Did he ever give you a reason for leaving

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Original poster
Nayynayy · 01/01/2018 19:29

Didn't mean to post then!

@Mammatron did he ever give you a reason for leaving or was it just out the blue without explanation? Yeah I know what you mean about it being best from the beginning if they're gonna leave anyway, baby has never known any different that way.

Well after over 2 days he's finally text... not about me though, asking how my grandad is.

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Littlechocola · 01/01/2018 19:33

Nayynayy, this may not be how you imagined your year to start but make it your year. One day at a time. He has shown himself to be a pathetic coward. Who leaves his pregnant partner because she needs some love? You don’t need him in yours or your babies lives.
Do you know what you are having?

mustbemad17 · 01/01/2018 19:39

Personally i'd be ignoring all the personal questions from him. Baby related only. Wanker

stardust18 · 01/01/2018 19:40

I'm so sorry this has happened to you, what a bastard! He must of been waiting for an excuse to leave. How are you today?

Original poster
Nayynayy · 01/01/2018 19:45

@Littlechocola I know, I feel like he'll make out its over something else and make me feel like I am wrong, like whatever it is he's said to his family cos I find it odd they haven't sent him back home!

No I don't know what I'm having 💖

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lovelystar · 01/01/2018 19:49

I've just left my boyfriend at 32 weeks pregnant, you'll be ok I promise you're strong enough to do this without him. My boyfriend just treated me like complete shit, never coming home, always lying and hiding where he is etc I think he just wasn't man enough to break up with a pregnant person, so I did it for him Hmm I have no regrets xx

juneisthemonth · 01/01/2018 19:52

@Nayynayy he's got some nerve not even asking how you are, considering your grandad is not in a good place and you have the stress of him and the upset of your grandad and your carrying his child! Bastard!

Beansprout30 · 01/01/2018 20:14

Sounds like he's feeling guilty and is using your grandad as a way to break ice. I'd ignore him what a prick

Littlechocola · 01/01/2018 21:44

Did you reply to his text?

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